Chapter 23

Ryan pulled back from the kiss, wanting more, but also elated, scared, a little embarrassed at what he'd just done. At least they were away from the gawping crowds around the dancefloor. At least he'd got it over and done with, said it and thankfully, Graham had forgiven him.

Graham rested his hands on Ryan's thighs, looked at him, with a glint in his eye, smiled cheekily. ‘When does this boat stop?'

‘Do you want to go home?'

‘I've missed you, and,' Graham said, looking either side to see if anyone was in earshot, ‘I think you might have some more making up to do.' He waggled his eyebrows up and down. ‘After all, I gave up being celibate for you.' His eyes widened.

With a grin, Ryan asked, ‘Was it worthwhile?'

Graham smiled, nodded. ‘I didn't used to miss sex, and then…well…you came along.'

‘And you came along too.' Finally showing Ryan how sex could be so much more than that time in the car with the lifeguard. Anticipation, lust and want pooled in Ryan's lap, his well-fitted suit trousers almost giving away how much he wanted Graham, needed Graham. ‘Shall I find out?'

‘What, how much you need to make up to me?' Graham asked, with a wink.

‘No, silly, when and where the boat stops. FYI, I have a hotel room in town tonight.' Then something occurred to him: ‘Does Sam know?' Ryan asked. ‘About us.'

Graham nodded. ‘He put two and two together and made exactly four; almost straight away.'

Good. Ryan was done with pretending, lying, having to remember who he'd told what to. He might not fully accept the labels of gay or bi, but he did accept he was in a relationship with Graham, and didn't want to hide that. ‘You didn't tell him?'

Graham shook his head. ‘Didn't need to. He's not stupid. He asked me why I was so miserable. Didn't he ever mention it to you?'

Ryan shook his head.

‘Probably best, in the long run.'

Sam would have been caught in the middle, torn between the loyalties of a friendship and a sibling, so Ryan was grateful they'd never discussed it.

‘We don't tell each other everything,' Graham said. ‘He didn't exactly ask about our sex life.'

Ryan understood. ‘Is Sam dating?'

Graham shrugged.

‘Wouldn't he tell you?'

‘Might do. Might not. If he was seeing someone for a while, he'd probably mention it. We never really talked about that, not in much detail, definitely not when Mum was alive. I always had enough to worry about with keeping her functioning. We both did. Sam used to help, when he was old enough. We're close, me and Sam, but not in each other's faces, sharing the gory details of our sex lives, if that makes sense.'

Ryan reckoned it made sense. He never told Sophie about his love life, and she kept hers pretty private too – well, from the family anyway – she was always posting about her latest beau on the socials. ‘Sophie talks about the gifts they've given her, but not the men. The men are less long lasting than the gifts they give her. But they all seem to have good taste in presents.'

There was a silence as Ryan considered what to do next. ‘Let's find Sam and tell him we've kissed and made up.' Then he wanted to get off that boat as quickly as possible so he could make up with Graham, more than once, and preferably slippery, naked and horizontal.

‘Now?'

‘Now,' Ryan said decisively.

Sam was sitting at the bar, nursing a half pint of beer. His eyes lit up as Ryan and Graham approached, holding hands. ‘Two of my favourite people!' Sam hugged Graham, then Ryan. Turning to Graham, he said, ‘Are you two back together?'

Graham nodded, putting his arm around Sam's shoulders.

‘Well, I'm pleased for you. Both of you. I love you both so much, I'm so happy you've found a way to be together again. It's about time you,' he turned to Graham, ‘thought about yourself for once, rather than others. I adore you both.' Sam pulled them into a hug, holding them tightly, squeezing their shoulders.

‘Thanks, little brother,' Graham said.

‘Cheers, mate,' Ryan added. ‘I'm going to look after him, so don't you worry.'

Sam nodded. ‘I know, and if you don't, I know where you live, so will be having stern words and more, right?' He winked at Ryan. ‘Do you know when this finishes? Only, I wouldn't mind being on dry land again. It's a bit shit or bust, isn't it, this wedding? Everyone's stuck here until the cruise ends. Do you think your mum and Dave did that deliberately?'

Ryan said, ‘Mum isn't boaty, but apparently Dave is. She'll have done it so he has something of his own about the day. Not wanting to take over. She's good, like that – thinking of others.'

Sam looked from one man to the other. He shook their hands, patted their backs forcefully. ‘I'll leave you to…whatever you two are going to do…' He looked at Ryan. ‘See you at our place?'

‘Definitely. But not tonight, I'm in a hotel. Mum insisted. Wants to have a big hangover breakfast with some of the wedding party tomorrow morning.' Ryan waved Sam goodbye.

Sam copied. ‘Enjoy.' He turned, and walked upstairs.

‘A hotel room, when you live in London?' Graham asked. ‘When you said it earlier, I thought I'd misheard.'

Ryan rolled his eyes. ‘I know, but you've met my mum, she's quite forceful when she wants to be. Not everyone has a room, it's just a handful of her and Dave's closest friends and family.'

‘Where is it?' Graham asked.

Ryan shrugged, he hadn't paid much attention, had left the organising to his mum, but now he was very glad as it meant he could be alone with Graham sooner.

A while later, they were assembled with the other guests on the main deck. Julia and Dave stood on a raised platform, thanking everyone for coming, for remaining with them the whole night. The crowd laughed at that, since they'd had no choice.

‘Thank you for making today one of the best days of my life,' Julia said, turning to Dave.

Dave kissed her, pulling her close. Then, looking about, slightly blushing, he said, ‘It's been amazing. Cheers everyone!'

The boat gently came to a halt near the Tower of London.

Julia and Dave thanked people again as they disembarked, leaving a small group on the boat, that Ryan assumed were going to the hotel.

Julia gave directions for the hotel. ‘We'll be in the bar if anyone would like a nightcap. Otherwise, we'll see you tomorrow for brunch at eleven.' She turned to Ryan and Graham. ‘Nightcap?' She looked at how they were holding hands. Raising an eyebrow, she said, ‘All kissed and made up?'

Ryan nodded, smiled, yawned in an exaggerated way, hoping she wouldn't demand more details of why and how they were back together, and feeling slightly embarrassed that she still might ask.

There was an awkward silence as she looked from one to the other, raising her eyebrows, clearly waiting for someone to speak.

‘Congratulations.' Ryan kissed her cheek and hugged her. Then he pulled Dave in for a hug. ‘Welcome to the family.' He shook Dave's hand.

Julia gave Graham a hug. ‘My son has a habit of confusing what some of his emotions mean. But eventually he usually works it out.' She nodded at Ryan.

Graham smiled, nodded. ‘See you for brunch.'

Ryan took Graham's hand, squeezed it, then led them off the boat into a large boxy concrete hotel that looked as if it had been built to look as ugly as possible.

Ryan checked in, his leg shivering with anticipation of finally being alone, with Graham, after all this time. All these months apart. Ryan didn't think he'd wanted anything this much in his whole life.

They held hands in the lift as it climbed the seven floors at a glacial pace. Other hotel guests boarded and left as it moved upwards. Ryan removed the key card from his pocket as the lift doors opened, he stepped out, strode towards the sign for his room number, almost ran along the corridor, then swiped the key against the door, and with relief it opened, first time.

They were on the bed within seconds, Ryan tumbling on top of Graham, hungry for his kiss, for his taste, to feel Graham beneath him again. Ryan knelt on the bed, admiring Graham's rumpled appearance, his shirt was unbuttoned, his jacket discarded, his hair messed up from where Ryan had run his fingers through it.

Ryan wanted to make up to Graham all through the night. He kissed Graham, very hard and long, hungry and lustful. Then he unbuttoned his own shirt, slid his underwear and trousers off, shuffled off the bed so he was standing naked, his arousal jutting forth, as the twinkling lights of high-rise buildings along the Thames in the window behind him.

Graham's eyes widened, looking at Ryan's naked body, lingering on his hard-on, licking his lips in clear anticipation while he removed his clothes as quickly as possible. Finally, on the bed, Graham crouched on all fours, offering his behind to Ryan.

Ryan retrieved what he needed from his wallet, stepped forwards, pulling Graham backwards near the edge of the bed. He slid the rubber on, slicked himself, and using his finger, rubbed lube around Graham's hole.

Graham whimpered, edging himself back onto Ryan's finger.

Ryan leaned forwards, kissing Graham's back, neck, using one hand to position his stiffness in the right place, against Graham.

Graham relaxed, hummed, exhaled.

It had Ryan as hard as steel. He pushed himself against Graham, then felt a little resistance, kissed Graham's neck, whispering, ‘Okay?'

Graham nodded, pushed himself backwards, relaxed and exhaled more.

Ryan was slowly thrusting upwards into Graham's welcoming body; he was warm and tight and slick and perfect. If Ryan didn't pace himself, he'd finish too soon.

They fell into a slow rhythm, with Ryan's slow, deep thrusts, in time with Graham's whimpers of pleasure. Then Graham held Ryan's thighs, indicating him to stop.

It took all of Ryan's willpower, because every atom of his body was telling him to thrust, harder, deeper, faster, but he didn't. Ryan knelt still, appreciating the warmth and tightness of Graham gripping around him.

Deep inside, Graham tensed, and gripped onto Ryan, pulling his stiffness deeper into his own body.

Ryan saw stars, held still, resisted thrusting, because he'd finish if Graham carried on like this. ‘I'm…' the words caught in his throat, his brain had checked out, his body wasn't there, all that existed was his stiffness being gripped tightly by Graham's warm body.

They stopped, both catching their breath. Sweat was pouring down Ryan's forehead, leaving a sheen on his chest.

Graham pushed backwards, taking Ryan all the way in, then crouched forwards, releasing Ryan, sliding almost all the way out. He repeated it, hungrily using Ryan, taking charge, fucking Ryan back, deep, hard, in control.

Graham's pace grew, the thrusts of his behind onto Ryan were longer, harder, deeper, until with a cry, Graham stopped, gasping for breath, crouching forwards, his body went limp.

Ryan leaned forwards, pressing his chest against Graham's back, reaching round to feel Graham's stiff desire. Stickiness confirmed what Ryan thought.

Graham pulled away, separating their bodies, then reclining on his back, his skin flushed red and a sexy grin on his face.

Ryan moved up the bed, lay down on his back, beside Graham, taking his own hard-on and feasting on the spent, satisfied sight of Graham.

Graham, having obviously put himself back together, took Ryan's hand, gently removing it, then with his own hand, slicked and forming an O with his fingers, he stroked Ryan's stiff shaft, rubbing his finger and thumb over the ridge of Ryan's cock head, slowly, so gently and then again, down to the base, up the shaft, and down again.

Ryan wanted to, needed to empty himself, but this felt so fucking good, he didn't want it to stop. He opened his legs wide, thrusting up in time with Graham's wonderful, slicked fingers. He was close, indicated to Graham with a nod.

Graham used his other hand to pull down on Ryan's balls, simultaneously he pulled up Ryan's shaft with his other hand, and when his fingers rubbed over Ryan's cockhead, that did it, took Ryan over the crest, towards the white light, he saw stars again, as he climbed towards his climax, and he cried out, a spurt of stickiness up his chest, into his eye, and another and another. Ryan couldn't breathe, it was as if his body had disappeared and become only his cock. He shivered as he slowly came down from the crest, the peak wave that Graham had taken him to.

They cleaned up with their underwear, then spooned beneath the covers. Ryan hadn't known sex could be that good. He wanted more, but not just yet. He needed to use his hands on Graham as perfectly as Graham had on him. He desperately wanted to learn to give as much pleasure to Graham as he'd taken. But now, he needed sleep.

The next morning Ryan woke slowly, the curtains were open, light was streaming in. Graham was sleeping next to him, a satisfied look on his face. He smelt so good, the woodsy citrus scent, and a muskiness with a slightly sweet edge, that was Graham's own body scent.

It was six o'clock; still hours until the brunch.

Ryan couldn't believe Graham was here with him. After Ryan had been such a monumental idiot. After pushing Graham away. Graham had forgiven him. He was the luckiest man alive. He snuggled closer, resting his head on Graham's chest, kissing his chest, his cheek, gently cupping Graham's balls, his cock, seeing if they could wake as much as his own.

Graham yawned, stretched, opened his legs, giving Ryan better access to his growing stiffness.

They moved around the bed, settling into a position where Ryan was lying down on his back, they were head to toe, Graham was on top, and they feasted on each other, making love with their mouths. This time it was slower, gentler, less hungry and needful than last night. Last night they had fucked. But now, they were loving each other, slowly showing each other how they felt.

The scent of Graham, his stiffness filling Ryan's mouth, the tickling of his wiry hairs against Ryan's nose, and lips, were making Ryan rock hard. He almost stopped as Graham did something with his tongue that had Ryan gasping for breath, nearly seeing stars, then he resumed.

There was no rush. Time did not exist. The satisfied noises of them slurping, feasting, moaning, groaning in harmony, allow them to focus on only the pleasure they gave and received now, nothing else existed.

With relief, his balls tightened and Ryan cried out in joy as he emptied himself over Graham's face, and moments later, Graham glazed Ryan's neck and chest as they laughed, rolling onto their backs, admiring each other's sticky faces.

Ryan closed the curtains, then more sleep. Why had he resisted this for so long? What had made him hold off admitting this was what he found sexy? Maybe, he mused, as they showered together later, it was because before, it had felt mechanical, because they hadn't connected emotionally. Ryan could have sex, but not uninhibited, deep, all-encompassing like this, not unless he loved them. As he did for Graham. Which was why he hadn't bothered with sex.

Dressed in jeans and T-shirt, Ryan looked at Graham, who wore the hotel's white towelling dressing gown. He hadn't brought spare clothes.

‘I'll buy you clothes,' Ryan said. ‘You can't have brunch with my family like that!'

‘Can't I?' Graham asked coquettishly, fluttering his eyelashes.

‘You look like you've had enough sex to last you a lifetime and still want more. It's making me blush, thinking about it.' He grinned.

They had just about enough time for Ryan to buy clothes from the nearest shop, while Graham rested.

‘Don't worry, I'll wear my suit again,' Graham said. ‘I can nip out and buy a shirt and underwear. Or go home, leave you to it with your family.'

‘I've got this. I want you with me. You are.' He stopped himself, unable to go on, then said, ‘You are my family and I want you with me. You're not going anywhere, lie back and let me take care of you.'

Graham sat up in bed, folded his arms. ‘If you insist?' He shrugged.

Ryan did indeed, kissed him, then left.

A while later, Ryan returned with new clothes for Graham, who was sleeping. Ryan kissed him, nibbling his ear, kissing his neck, inhaling his sleepy, musky scent.

Graham rolled over, waking slowly, yawning, grinning and sitting up in bed. He looked at the bag Ryan had placed next to him. ‘For me?'

Ryan nodded. ‘I think they'll suit you.' Buying clothes for someone whose job it was to buy clothes for others, had been a challenge, but Ryan had gone with his gut. ‘I guessed your sizes, so they might be a bit tight, or a bit baggy.'

Graham took the bag to the bathroom, returning shortly, with damp hair, smelling of soap and looking very handsome. The indigo blue jeans fitted perfectly on his legs, the waist too, when Graham lifted his T-shirt. This too, sky blue, V neck, seemed the right size, accentuating Graham's muscular torso and wide shoulders. A white shirt completed the look, which Graham had left unbuttoned, flowing loosely around him, the sleeves rolled back halfway, revealing muscular forearms.

‘The shirt was the last one they had, otherwise I'd have to change the whole outfit, because the others didn't go with—'

Graham put his fingers on Ryan's lips to stop him talking. ‘Thank you.'

Ryan shrugged, looked away briefly. ‘It's nothing, it's only high street; there was nowhere else nearby.'

‘Not that, I meant last night. I mean it's nice having my own personal shopper, but more than that, it was…' Graham looked towards the window, blinking fast. He turned back and there were tears in his eyes. ‘I've just never had anyone do something like that for me.' He bit his bottom lip.

‘And?'

‘It's nice. Like I said, thank you.'

‘I've got you.'

Graham nodded, looked away again, then stared into Ryan's eyes. ‘And I've got you.'

Ryan kissed him, because that sounded pretty bloody perfect.

Later that morning, they sat at the large table for Julia and Dave's wedding guests, enjoying a leisurely brunch of pastries, sausages, eggs, bacon, fruit, toast and enough tea and coffee to float a boat like last night's.

As the others left, Julia approached them, smiling as she looked from Ryan and to Graham. ‘I'm so glad you both made it.' She stared at them, the glint in her eyes and raised eyebrows, showing she clearly understood what they'd been up to last night. ‘You must both come round. Dinner. I feel as if you know me, what designers I wear, my lifestyle, my favourite colour.' She looked at Graham. ‘But I don't know nearly enough about you.'

‘I'd love that,' Graham said, squeezing Ryan's hand on the table, turning to him. ‘Wouldn't we?'

Ryan smiled. ‘Definitely.'

‘Well, that's that,' she said, kissing them both, then moving on to chat with other guests.