14. Mer - Mer Bear to the Rescue

Early Friday morning, I threw my hair in a messy bun and pulled on my coach clothes, then drove through the dark city to O’Hare to retrieve Piper.

She breezed out in a caramel peacoat overtop of leggings, lugging her two bags and carrying a tray with two coffees.

I really hoped one of the coffees was for me because it was 5am and my eyes were burning.

“How’s it going, girlie?” she asked, plopping in the passenger seat and handing me a coffee. “My payment for the ride, madam.”

Thank God . “You totally didn’t have to, but thank you.”

“Umm, for one, I made you roll out of bed and get me before the sun’s even up, and two, this airport has some of the best coffee in the city, so yes, I did have to. Now, how were your two weeks? Fill me in. I see you’ve survived in your haunted apartment.”

“It is not haunted.” I rolled my eyes as I pulled away from the curb, but I decided to keep it to myself that the heating broke and I almost froze into a popsicle last night. The landlord was supposed to have it fixed by today, so it was all good.

“If you say so. Any news on ‘The Conman’ front?”

“Actually, yes.” And I was glad for it. After our talk, I was finally able to feel fully at peace at the Coliseum. For days I’d been nervous about the inevitable confrontation I’d have with him. Deep down, I wanted to talk to him, but based on our first interaction, I thought it’d be contentious. I was grateful that it ended up being the opposite. When he sat on that bench with me, it felt like I was talking with the old Colt that I knew and loved. He’d always exuded calm, soothing energy, and I was glad the world hadn’t changed that about him.

Her eyes bulged as she took a gulp of coffee. “Way to bury the lede! Details! Right now.”

I laughed as I veered onto the highway. “You were right.”

“Of course,” she flicked her wrist, “but about what?”

“Well,” I sighed, “he doesn't have a ring, for one.”

“Knew it.”

“And, he actually agreed to move forward, no talking about the past. It was kind of… nice. Wait,” I snuck a glance at her in the passenger seat, “how did you know he wouldn’t have a ring?”

She shrugged. “Just a hunch. You guys were so in love. I don’t know if anyone can move on that easily after that. All that love doesn’t just go away, ya know? And I know for a fact that no other person on this planet compares to you, my beautiful bestie. I missed you.”

“I missed you too.” My heart warmed and I found myself smiling at my windshield. “How was Canada?”

“Absolutely fantastic.” She let out a dreamy sigh. “I just love Canadian men.”

“Ha!” I blurted out. “No, you just love hockey players.”

“Canadian hockey players,” she corrected me. “The US ones are dicks.”

I laughed to myself. I had a feeling she was totally only talking about Kappy when she said that.

“But it was good. Patrick and I have the best ideas for our next program. I can’t wait to get started.”

“Where is Patrick? I thought I was picking up both of you.”

She flipped down the mirror to fix her makeup. “He decided to stay with his family in Montreal another week. I’m a little nervous that he doesn't want to come back, but he wouldn’t do that to me.” She brushed off the idea and went on about the amazing shopping she did in Old Town and the hot hockey player she went on a date with in Laval.

The rest of the day passed like usual, but when the 4:30 session started, there were no signs of the Conovers.

I kept sneaking glances at the rink entrance, hoping they were just running late, but halfway through the lesson, I had to accept that they wouldn’t be coming.

Squaring my shoulders and fixing a smile on my face, I powered through the lesson with Charlotte and Sophia, but I hated how much their absence affected me.

It’d only been a couple of weeks, but I already grew attached to Lucy’s little smile and the way she stuck her tongue out the side of her mouth when she was concentrating hard, and I missed that feeling of having Colt in the stands, watching.

The whole session, my mind kept jumping to the conclusion that this was Colt’s way of firing me. I cursed myself for telling Piper about my interaction with Colt, because it felt like saying it aloud jinxed it or something.

By the time the buzzer went off, I knew what I had to do: I had to woman-up and call Colt to ask why they missed the lesson. If I didn't, I’d just end up worrying until our next lesson on Monday, and I really didn’t want to waste my weekend overthinking the situation. Whatever the reason, it’d be better to know now.

After tracking down his number from the front office– it was different from the one he had years ago– I hit the call button before I could talk myself out of it.

He answered on the third ring. “Hullo?” His voice sounded so groggy that I wondered if I had the wrong number for a second.

“Colt? It’s… me, Mer.” I closed my eyes, hating the awkwardness between us.

He cleared his throat. “Bennett?” He sounded like was only half awake, so maybe they just accidentally slept through the lesson?

“Yeah. Sorry, I got your number from the front office. Lucy missed her lesson, so I was just calling to check in,” I rattled out. “I hope you haven’t changed your mind about me coaching–”

“No.” He bit out a curse. “It’s Friday, isn’t it? I’m sorry. We’re not, uh, doin’ so hot.”

I paused. “What?”

He groaned. “We’re all sick. And we have a game tomorrow.”

I grimaced. There was nothing worse than having to skate when you felt like you were dying. “Who’s all?”

“Me, Lu, Kap, and JP. Lucy got it first. She puked her brains out all night, now the rest of us are losing it. I’m kind of worried I’m not doing such a hot job at being a dad right now.”

My heart wobbled in my chest. “Do you need help?”

“The room’s spinning,” he groaned. A beat of silence filled the line before he said, “How pathetic would it be if I said yes?”

“Not pathetic at all. We all need help sometimes.”

“Shit, I’m gonna…” The call ended.

Anxiety spiked in my chest. Without a second thought, I immediately marched to my locker room, ripped off my skates, then shot off a text to Piper, who was still out in the lobby talking to students, explaining what was going on.

Heading to the store, I made a mental list of all the sick materials I needed, then shopped in record time.

Sitting back in my car, I fished the homemade birthday invitation from my skate bag and plugged the address into my phone. From the looks of it, they lived in the suburbs just north of the city.

As I drove, all the past hurt and anger and guilt completely slipped away. I just wanted to help. And secretly… it was nice to feel needed again.

I remembered back to the last time the boys needed me. They all got sick during a road game and were clueless on how to take care of themselves. I was so worried for them that I skipped practice and drove four hours to help. My coaches had been furious with me when I got back to Centre Ice, but I didn’t care. It was worth it to make sure they were alright.

When I exited the highway, I pulled into an old downtown area that had cute brick buildings and small-town vibes. People were walking around shopping and sitting at the cafe on the corner sipping coffees. Cornstalks were tied around all the lampposts and street signs, and colorful trees and skeletons decorated the sidewalks, adding to the festiveness.

As I continued driving past the downtown area, the surrounding houses all had a Victorian look.

When I finally reached Colt’s house, I parked and sat for a second, studying the home he chose.

It was beautiful and big, but still modest– not a mansion like his parents had. With dark blue side-paneling, white trim, and white window shutters, it had an old farmhouse look to it. His lawn was only half raked, so leaves still littered the ground, and the front of his house was decorated with large fake spider webs and a couple ghosts.

All in all, it was nice, but not much like the dream home we’d always talked about.

We’d always dreamed of buying a log cabin-looking home with a large porch. One overlooking a huge pond or a lake so Colt could clear it in the winter and we could all pond skate whenever we wanted. Colt would build a little shack for a warming area where friends could lace up skates and drink my special hot chocolate. We’d end each night chatting around a fire together and then go to sleep smelling like embers and marshmallows.

My heart swelled at the memory of our teenage dreams.

Hauling up the grocery bags, I made my way to the front porch and rang the doorbell, my shoulders scrunching against the cold. I was still in my coaching clothes– which were warm– but didn’t do much against the Chicago wind.

Kappy answered the door wearing sweatpants and no shirt. Taking in his pale face and weak grin, my eyes widened.

“Mer Bear to the rescue,” he said, opening his muscular arms for a hug.

“Oh God, get back inside.” I pushed him in the house. “The cold isn’t good for you.”

“But I’m hot,” he complained, grabbing the grocery bags from me.

Inside the large hardwood foyer, I reached up on my tip toes to feel his forehead. “I think you have a temperature.”

“Shit.” His shoulders fell. “You think we’ll be able to play tomorrow? I keep almost shitting my pants.”

I cringed against that mental visual and kicked off my shoes. “Let's see how you feel in the morning.”

“Finally, we have an adult in the room,” a voice groaned.

“JP?” I whipped around to view the spacious cream-colored living room which housed a comfy looking sectional. JP’s tall frame was curled up with about three blankets. His hair was still buzzed short, but he now sported facial hair, and he wore the glasses that he always swore he didn’t need as a teen.

“Good to see you Mer. You have soup?” He shivered. “I’m so fucking cold.”

I gaped at him. He talked to me like he just saw me yesterday, not ten years ago.

“Y-yes,” I nodded. “Hi,” I smiled warmly at him. “How long have you guys been like this?”

“Since yesterday,” he said. “I think it’s a stomach flu. Lu’s school sent an email about it.”

Taking in the information, I nodded. “I brought some crackers and liquid IV’s. Where’s Colt and Lucy?”

“Colt’s in his bathroom. Last I checked he was napping on the floor. Poor dude hasn't been able to get away from the toilet. Lu’s in bed sleeping it off because she was barfing all night. I think the two of them got hit worse than us,” JP said.

Oh God . My stomach twisted. Without hesitating, I bolted up the wooden staircase.

“Lucy’s second door on the right, Colt’s is third door,” Kappy called up.

As soon as I opened Lucy’s door, I knew something was wrong. The smell was overpowering. Taking a closer look, I realized she’d barfed in her bed.

Dipping into the hallway again, I searched the closet for some cleaning supplies and extra sheets. Part of me felt a little weird just rummaging through Colt’s house, but at the same time, he admitted that he needed help.

When Lucy woke up and realized what happened, she started crying and kept apologizing. She was weak and shaky, and clearly distraught about the accident. I wanted to comfort her so badly that I hugged her, despite the fact that it got some of the gook on me in the process.

After everything was cleaned and she was tucked in her fresh sheets, I brushed out her washed hair.

“Your hair is so pretty,” I told her. There was a little curl to it, just like Colt’s.

“It used to be more pretty,” she said sleepily. “Like yours.”

My eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean, honey?”

She rubbed her eyes and yawned. “I went to a sleepover and the girls cut my hair off.”

My whole body stiffened as I replayed what she just said. Anger like no other flared up inside my body. I had to force myself to take a breath and keep it cool so I didn’t upset her.

“Well, I love your hair,” I told her. “One of my best friends named Ali keeps her hair even shorter than yours because she says it's high fashion.”

She turned on her side to face me, resting her cheek on her hands. “Really?”

“Yes, she says it’s chic.”

“Chic.” She giggled. “Can I meet her?”

“Of course, if we can get her to visit, that is.” I smiled. “She’s also a figure skater, but she skates on cruise ships.”

Her brown eyes widened. “Really?”

“Really.” I confirmed. “I can show you?”

She nodded eagerly.

Fishing my phone from my pocket, I quickly pulled up a video Ali recently sent me from her latest show. Ali wore a shimmery gold flapper dress with sparkly tassels that splayed out when she pulled into a fast backspin.

Lucy’s eyes brightened. “Woah, she is a fashion girl! Can I watch more?”

“I’ll ask her to send some more videos, just for you.” I smiled. “I can show you my friend Piper’s skating videos?” Piper’s videos were all over the internet. “Wanna know a secret?” I asked.

Lucy nodded hurriedly.

“She might be in the Olympics one day.”

Her mouth dropped open. “She must be really good.”

I nodded and quickly pulled up Piper and Patrick at their last Worlds competition. In the video, Piper was dressed in a white feather dress that made her look like a swan.

“I love her dress!” Lucy squealed.

“She designs all her dresses by herself,” I said proudly.

“Woah,” she breathed out. “Can she come to my birthday party, too?”

I laughed. “How about we ask your dad first?”

Lucy continued watching Piper and Patrick’s skating clips until her eyelids started drooping and she eventually fell asleep.

Before leaving her room, I tucked her in, then marched directly into Colt’s room, absolutely fuming over what she told me about her hair.

I slammed his bathroom door open without thinking, then immediately regretted it.

He was slumped against the tub looking beat up. His long muscular legs stretched out in front of him. He wore only athletic shorts. It was the first time I’d seen him without a shirt on in a decade and the difference was staggering. His tanned muscular chest had a dusting of hair over it and he had a date lettered in roman numerals tattooed on his left peck right over his heart. More tattoos swirled down his entire right arm, stopping at his wrist. I spotted more ink splayed across his ribs, but I couldn't make out what it was. I wanted to trail my fingers over the ink and study the designs. I hated that I didn’t know what they were and what they all meant. They were just more evidence that showed how much I’d missed over the last decade.

I shook my head out to refocus. “Did you press charges?” I asked.

“What?” He sluggishly looked over at me. “Press charges?” He squinted. “Against Andy?”

His words knocked the air clean out of me. I grasped the door handle for some semblance of sturdiness. “What?” my voice was barely audible. “What are you talking about?”

His knees curled up and he held his head. “I should’ve. I fucking should’ve.” He slammed his eyes shut, looking pained. “I was just a kid. You were just a kid. But I should’ve stayed with you.” He was rambling. Was he delirious? “He didn’t hurt you, did he?”

Yeah, he did.

Blowing out a sigh, I bent down next to him and felt his forehead. He was burning up. His dark hair was curled at the edges from sweat. When his eyes fluttered open, they were all glassy.

“I’m not talking about Andy. I never want to talk about him again, okay? He’s in the past.” That was a hard boundary for me, especially with him. “I’m talking about the little bitches that cut Lucy’s hair,” I fumed.

“Oh.” He crouched forward and rubbed his forehead, then looked at me in confusion. “Press charges? Against five-year-olds?”

“Yes, Colt. They caused her bodily harm. They need to learn a lesson.”

“I-I didn’t know… You’re supposed to…?” He couldn’t seem to form full thoughts.

“What did you do about it?” I asked gently.

“I-I signed her up for figure skating.”

“What?” That didn’t make any sense at all. Was his brain okay?

“You said it made you feel pretty and strong,” he explained.

My mouth formed an oh. I couldn’t believe he remembered that.

“I wanted to focus on Lucy.” He shook his pale face. “I didn’t know what to do. What was I supposed to do? Tell her to punch them? Tell her to cut their hair off? I don’t know the girl world.” His eyes darted across my face, trying to read me. “I fucked it, didn’t I?”

My heart sunk. “Colt–”

“Oh shit. I’m gonna be…” He scrambled to bend over the toilet and purged his stomach again.

Moving quickly, I wet a cool washcloth and laid it on the back of his neck. “It’s okay,” I said as soothingly as I could. “You’re okay.”

“I fucked it,” he murmured miserably as soon as his body settled down. Leaning his elbows on the toilet, he held his head. “I’m in over my head, Mer.” His voice sounded strained.

I realized then that while he’d grown into this larger-than-life man, he was still the same Colt that I’d fallen in love with. To the rest of the world, he was a confident hockey star. But to me, he was that same boy who stormed into the wrong locker room, upset because he didn’t want to see anyone get hurt and in need of a little reassurance and comfort.

I slowly bent down behind him and hugged him, leaning my cheek against his bare back– which was burning up. “You’re okay. Everything’s going to be okay. No one knows what they’re doing. You’re trying your best and Lucy knows that.”

His body seemed to relax and my heart squeezed almost painfully in my chest.

It felt so good to comfort him, but I knew I was crossing lines I shouldn’t have been anywhere near. I was opening myself back up to heartbreak, and I wasn’t sure I was strong enough to survive it again.

“I hate being sick,” he muttered.

A pathetic laugh popped out of me, because at least some things didn’t change. “I know.”

“I feel like I'm dying.”

I patted his muscular back. “You’re not.”

“Promise?”

“Yeah, I promise. Why don’t you try to sleep in your bed, c’mon,” I said, guiding him back into his bedroom.

Now that I wasn't storming through, I took the time to study his room. Besides one framed photo of Lucy on the bedside table, it was devoid of all personality. White bedding, white walls, one wooden TV stand pushed against the opposite wall of the bed, and a large TV, that’s it. It looked like he just moved in.

“How long have you lived here?”

“Like… six years? Bought it right before Lucy was born,” he said with a shiver as he pulled the covers over him.

Interesting. I wondered why he wouldn’t have decorated more.

As I exited his room, I flipped on his fan, knowing that’s how he always used to sleep.