Chapter Fifty-Two

Idrop the pizza on the kitchen table.

"Lunch is here!" I shout to the house.

Within seconds, Juliet is downstairs and digging into the box. Dad slowly moseys into the room as I turn to head upstairs.

"You're not going to eat?" Juliet asks through a mouthful of food.

"Nah, I'm not hungry."

She shrugs. "Suit yourself," she mumbles as she reaches for another slice.

"Wait," Dad says as he sets his piece of pizza on a plate. "Can I talk to you for a second?" he asks nodding his head towards the living room.

"Sure." I follow behind him. I turn back to make sure that Juliet is still sitting at the table.

"I'm worried about you," Dad instantly starts.

"I'm fine," I say nonchalantly.

"Arch, you're not. You haven't been yourself since everything with Alison. You barely eat."

"I'm just stressed."

"Arch, it's me. If you can be honest with anyone, it's me."

I finally relinquish control and open the gate. "I'm dying, Dad. It's killing me. I thought it would get easier, but it's not. Seeing her every day rips my heart open over and over again," I say as I pound against my chest where my heart is.

"I can only imagine how hard it is," my dad responds.

"I'm seriously thinking about quitting the tour. It's almost over anyway. And she was doing fine before I joined. I'm just trying to figure out the best way to do it."

My dad steps towards me. "Archer, wait, let's not do anything drastic like that yet. Give it some time. I know you're hurting but touring is something you've dreamed about. Are you really ready to give all of that up?"

"I don't want to, but I don't know what else to do. I'm just tired of feeling this way. I think I just need a break from that constant reminder, you know?" I run my hand through my hair.

Dad nods. "I know what you mean. I know it's totally different but when your mom passed I was torn between wanting to keep everything in the house exactly as it was to serve as reminder of her or put it all away so I'm not constantly reminded of the pain. I'm no stranger to pain, you know. I just want you to take time to think this through."

My heart drops when he brings up Mom. I remember how broken Dad was afterwards but how he kept going for us. I remember thinking that he was the strongest person ever because all I wanted to do was curl up in a corner and make the world disappear. I know what I'm feeling now is nothing compared to what he felt.

"Dad, I'm so sorry. I'm over here complaining about a girl that broke up with me. You lost the love of your life. That doesn't even compare. I'm sorry I'm being so insensitive. God, I'm so sick of this." I slam my fist down on the table.

Dad walks over and guides me down on the couch. "That's not how I feel at all. I know the situations are different, but Arch," he pauses for a second, "you lost the love of your life, too."

I look up at him. I've never called her that out loud, but that's exactly how I feel. I nod my head and clear my throat, trying to stop the tears forming in my eyes. I turn away from him so that he doesn't see.

"Don't be ashamed. When your mother passed, I could fill a whole lake with the tears I shed. It's okay." He pulls me in for a hug and I let him. He softly taps me on the back as I finally let the dam loose. We sit like that for a few minutes.

"Well, that was just lovely," Juliet's voice rings through the room.

I jump back from my dad and glare at her. "You were supposed to be in the kitchen. This was a private conversation."

"Hey, no one actually made that verbally clear. How was I supposed to know?" She shrugs. "Not to mention, you weren't exactly quiet. I thought I was going to come in here and see a broken table or something."

"Juliet . . ." I start but then stop because I know nothing I'm about to say is going to be kind.

"Juliet," Dad says firmly, "Go to your room. And close the door."

"I mean I could do that orrrr . . ." she trails off. She has a twinkle in her eye as she gently rests her hands on her hips.

"What?" I ask, trying to smush down my anger. I know my emotions are just high right now, and I don't want to say something I'll regret later.

"Or, you can turn on the TV to the Este Show and thank me later." She smiles at me.

"Jules, no offense but that's the last thing I want to do right now. Just go. I'll come find you when we're done and maybe we can go to a movie or something."

Juliet rolls her eyes at me. "OMG, I have to do everything myself around here." She picks the remote off the table and changes to the station. Este's smiling face pops up on the screen.

"Hello everyone! Welcome to the Este Show. Today, we have an extra special guest. We are so lucky that she's gracing us with her presence again. This time, she has a special request for us. Let's welcome, Alison Quick to the stage everyone!" The audience starts clapping. My head swivels to Juliet.

"Juliet! Come on!" I shout at her. If she heard my conversation with Dad then she knows that I absolutely don't want to see this.

"Shhhh," she hisses as she holds her finger up to her lips and then points towards the TV. "Just watch."

I reluctantly turn back to the screen.

"Hi, everyone!" Just the sound of her voice and those blue eyes send me into a spiral. I'm so close to walking out of the room but now I'm a little curious. "I was wondering if you would mind if I play you a new song I just wrote." The audience starts cheering. "You'd be the first to hear it." More applause.

"I think they're okay with it," Este laughs.

"Perfect." Alison walks over a few feet and grabs her guitar. She strums it once with a glittery silver pick. "This song is called Mr. Perfectly Mine and it goes out to someone that I love." My jaws drops. "I just hope he can accept my apology." I quickly turn towards Juliet, my eyes wide.

"See, told you you'd want to see this," she says smiling.