Chapter Forty

Itry to hold back the tears that are threatening to roll down my cheeks. I want to be strong for Archer. I want to be here for him. But his words. His sadness. The love he has for his family. What he just said about me. It's all so much. His heart is so amazingly beautiful. It hurts me to know that he walks around in this pain. I can't even comprehend how he just carries it with him everyday.

I reach across the table and slide my fingers through his. His eyes finally meet mine and they're glistening with tears. I want to walk over to the other side of this table and wrap my arms around him. I want to kiss him until his sadness is gone. I want to make this man—my man—feel the love that he deserves.

I don't though. I'm worried I'm going to do the wrong thing in this moment and that's the last thing I want. He's been so vulnerable with me. So open. And I don't want to ruin that. So I wait.

"I've been so afraid for so long. I've missed out on things because of it. Even now. I'm finally doing what I've always wanted to do with my music. People are listening to it and enjoying it. They're connecting to it. That's basically what every musician dreams of. But the part that has made me the happiest, which is not what I expected, is doing it with you. I don't want to be afraid anymore."

And at that, I can't hold back anymore. Within seconds, I am on the other side of the table. I wrap my arms around his neck and bend down to kiss him. Without hesitation, he pulls me down into his lap and is meeting me with a passion of his own.

"Don't be afraid then," I say against his lips.

He intensifies the kiss and I let him lead. Matching him kiss for kiss. My hands exploring his hair, his chest, his back, his abs. Anywhere I can get them. His doing the same.

Time feels like it completely stops. It's just him and me in this room. Nothing else matters but us and the fact that we're together. We're safe. We're happy. And we're all we need.

"Um, excuse me?" A voice breaks through our shield somewhere from the side. I quickly pull away from Archer and look towards the waiter. I can feel my face turning a deep shade of maroon.

"Sorry, yes, what is it?" I ask, completely and utterly embarrassed.

"I was just wondering if you were ready for dessert. I know Mr. Stiles had asked for it to come out at this time."

"Oh, that would be great," Archer answers.

"I'll be right back with that." The waiter turns and all but runs back to the kitchen.

I hear laughter behind me. I whip my head back to Archer. He's laughing. Actually laughing. I'm completely mortified. He leans his forehead against mine and snakes his arms around me.

"Archer, that wasn't funny."

"Come on, you have to admit, it was a little funny." He gives me a quick peck on the lips.

"Ok, maybe a little." I slide off his lap and walk back to my chair.

"Hey, wait, I miss you," Archer gives me the puppy dog eyes again.

"I think it's safer for me to stay on this side of the table for the rest of the night." I put my hands together and then lay them on top of the table.

"Fair enough," he laughs as he wraps his foot around my leg under the table completely knocking my breath out of my chest.

"Well, I think it worked perfectly," Archer announces as he holds his laptop in front of me.

We're laying on the couch, my head resting on his stomach. I take the laptop from him and put it in front of me. I scan the pictures and read the captions carefully. There's already an article to go with it.

"At least you look adorable in the pictures," I hear the smile in Archer's voice even though I can't see his face.

"I don't know if that makes my heart melt or makes me want to gag," I say bluntly.

"Oh, does the mushy gushy stuff bother you?" I feel Archer's stomach going up and down with his small chuckles.

"I haven't quite decided yet. I'll get back to you on that." I turn around, resting myself and the laptop on his stomach. "Now, stop distracting me so I can read this." He rubs his fingers up and down my arms as I look back down at the computer and start reading.

Two Popstars go on Tour and Find Love?

"Wow, they really wasted no time. At least we did it and survived to tell the tale." I continue reading the article.

It really is exactly what we wanted it to be. It talks about us making a public appearance together outside of tour stuff. It questions how serious we are. How long this has been going on. If it was before the tour or if it happened during it.

It's just enough to make our relationship public and give us the freedom to go out without hiding but also keep the details private. I know these kinds of questions are now going to be the focus of every interview I have from here on out but oddly enough, I'm okay with it. I'm still on Cloud 9 over what Archer said at dinner and I don't think anything can change that.

But I can't help the small nagging feeling in my stomach. That feeling of dread. That the other shoe will eventually drop. I don't want to be the one that hurts Archer. I don't want to be the one that causes him more pain.

In that moment, I decide that I won't be. I can't be. For his sake and for mine.