Chapter 22

22

ALY

T wo thoughts kept running through my head no matter where I was. I was angry with Linc, and I was angry at myself for getting involved with him. Other people had tried to warn me. Gina, for example, had made a point of asking me to take a second look at what he was offering, but I had brushed her off. Worse, I had yelled at her.

Porter had warned me too, when he said, "all men are dogs." I thought he was just exaggerating or being overprotective, but he had been speaking the truth. I remembered that crazy hot moment in the kitchen, leaning over the sink. He had been so aggressive, and I had misinterpreted it to mean that he couldn't keep his hands off me. In reality, he had been taking one more spin around the block before bailing on me.

It was a last-ditch effort to get some tail when he knew he would be in for a dry spell. That logic was what bothered me most, that he had been so calculating. He could have broken it off before breakfast or before we slept together the night before.

It had been abrupt, and I was ashamed. I wondered what I had done to deserve this treatment. I thought things were going well. He had accepted another invitation to Gina's house, and we had been each other's steady lunch date for almost a month. There wasn't any warning before he ripped my heart out and stomped on it. Being used so carelessly only moments before the agony was the final straw. I didn't care if I ever saw him again.

Luckily, we didn't run into each other at work. I was in the office and he was in the barn or out on deliveries. I deleted his contact from my phone and the text thread, as well as the two selfies we had taken together. It was Friday, and I was determined not to spend the night thinking about Linc at all.

I called Gina on my lunch break to fill her in. "Linc broke up with me."

"What?" Her voice broke. "When?"

"This morning, before I drove him to work." I wanted to get the whole story out before I lost my nerve.

"Slow down," she said. "You drove him to work?"

"He spent the night at my place."

"What?"

I sighed. "Can we go out tonight?"

"Of course," she agreed. "Tell Porter I'll call him as soon as I can. I'll pick Seth up and meet him at home."

"Thanks." It was going to take more than a phone call to explain what had happened. At least I had secured a sympathetic ear for the night's festivities, so I had something to look forward to. Why then did I feel worse than ever, as if by talking about it, I was going to make it real?

Porter had found me crying, and before I could wipe my tears away, he planted himself in front of my desk, the picture of concern. "What happened? Was it Linc?"

I nodded helplessly. I had to get a hold of myself. Crying in the office wasn't professional. "He broke up with me."

Porter's face had darkened, and he stormed out of the house. I watched him go, lacking the energy to stop him. Some part of me rejoiced in the tongue lashing that Linc was about to receive. If you couldn't count on your friends to chew out your ex, then what good were they? I hoped that Porter would make Linc feel as bad as I did.

When Porter returned, he had little to say. I didn't ask him how it had gone. I didn't want to know. "I'm going out with Gina tonight."

"Good," he replied. "I'll give her a call."

"She said she would pick up Seth and meet you at home."

"Okay." He made a move to go upstairs and then paused. "I don't feel any loyalty to Linc to keep his secrets, so I'm just going to be honest. He told me he was frightened of commitment."

I sniffed and nodded. I wasn't surprised, though I wasn't sure when I had ever asked him to make a commitment. All that stuff about having his baby was just a fantasy for the future. Sure, he had looked hot when he was holding Seth, but I hadn't said anything about it.

And maybe I had been hoping that we could make a family for ourselves someday, but I wasn't trying to trap him. He did his part only too willingly. I didn't think it was the baby that scared him but the idea of marriage and settling down. If that was the case, then good riddance.

I went home after work and changed into my most bombshell outfit. It was a tight miniskirt with a halter top. I didn't even know why I owned it, except that every woman deserved to have one ensemble that made her feel sexy. Maybe I had bought it in a fit of despair over my last dating disaster.

I found it in the back of my closet and wriggled into it, brushing my hair out in the mirror. I felt better already. If Linc could take advantage of me, then I could damn well find another guy to do the same.

I went to the Lucky Lady early, stepping up to the bar by myself. It was just before seven, and the band was setting up. It was a country cover band, and I knew the guitarist. He had been into the lumberyard to pick up some pieces for a shed he was working on. He was a little bit older than me but still cute.

I grabbed a beer and walked over to inspect their work. The entire band stopped what they were doing when they caught sight of me. The attention was rewarding. I felt like a princess among commoners, like I had something that everyone else wanted. Never mind that I knew exactly what they wanted, and I didn't actually plan on giving it up.

"Aly, right?" the guitarist said.

The rest of the band went back to their instruments, assuming that I was spoken for.

"That's right," I said. "I didn't know you were in a band."

"It's not a big thing," he said, dismissing the compliment. "We play nights and weekends sometimes."

I nodded. "I can't wait to hear it."

"Thanks." He came down off the stage to talk to me. "I thought you were with that soldier."

I shrugged. "Things don't always go as planned."

"Okay." He grinned, sensing an opening. "I'd love to buy you a beer if you stick around till our set's done."

"We'll see." I smiled, not giving an inch.

"Still at the lumberyard?" It seemed he didn't want to let me go.

"Jacob!" the lead singer called.

"Gotta go," Jacob said apologetically.

I nodded without caring, wandering back to the bar. There was another guy leaning up against the brass railing, checking me out. "Hi," I said.

"Hi yourself." He smiled. "You waiting for someone?"

"Just my girlfriend," I answered.

"How come I haven't seen you around here before?"

I shrugged. "I've been around."

"I bet you have." He winked.

Eww. I moved away. It was one thing to dress up and flirt with people, but it was another to dive headfirst into another bad situation. That guy was trouble, and I didn't want trouble. I wanted something to take my mind off Linc. I wanted people to tell me I was pretty, to notice me and not push me away. But I didn't want to jump in the sack with anyone tonight.

I was relieved to see Gina enter the bar moments later. I gave her a hug and we found a seat. "That's some outfit you're wearing," she said.

"Thanks, Mom," I chastised.

"Okay, okay. So, tell me what happened."

I sighed. I had already begun to feel better. The attention and the alcohol were making a difference. I was afraid that if I opened up about the events of the morning, I would start to cry again. There didn't seem to be any way around it, however. Gina wouldn't appreciate being put off. I was determined to get the story out without breaking down.

"Linc broke up with me," I began.

"Porter said that he panicked when he saw you looking at him and Seth—whatever that means." She shrugged.

My jaw dropped. So it was about Seth? It hadn't been anything I had said or done, but a look I had given him? Of all the unfair, chauvinistic, messed-up things for him to do, freaking out over a look was chief among them.

I must have been seething because Gina recoiled slightly. "You didn't know that?"

"No, I didn't know that."

"Tell me what happened," she encouraged.

I swallowed and forced the story out. "He asked if he could spend the night, and everything seemed great. He was all over me. We had sex twice, and he slept on the couch. Then he told me that he couldn't see me anymore, and I drove him to work."

I took a long drink to wash the bitter taste out my mouth.

"Am I allowed to apologize for him?" Gina asked.

"No."

"Do you want me to murder him?" she joked. "He's got military training, but I'm sneaky."

I smiled. "That would be nice."

"Aly, I'm so sorry," she said again. "You don't deserve to be treated that way."

"It's not your fault. You tried to warn me."

"Yeah, but I didn't think he would do this." She seemed at a loss to explain her own brother.

I finished off my beer. "Well, he did. But I'm going to put it all behind me. Let's talk about something else."

"Okay," Gina agreed. "I thought you might be on the prowl tonight, so I wore this." She opened her arms so I could get a good look at the blue satin top she wore.

"Nice," I said.

"Where'd you get that skirt?" she asked. "It looks like something out of the nineties."

"I prefer to call it vintage ." I laughed.

The bar had begun to fill up. Guys and gals were mingling on the dance floor, and the band had stepped up to the mic.

"I'd like to thank you all for coming out tonight!" the lead singer shouted. They opened their first song with a cover of "I Walk the Line" by Johnny Cash.

"They're going classic," I said to Gina, shouting to be heard over the music.

"Get out there and dance!" She pushed me forward.

I jumped into the middle of the dance floor and began rocking out with anyone I could find. A young cowboy with a white shirt and a Stetson hat took up the challenge. He was there with some of his buddies, who cheered him on. In the heat of the moment, I lost track of my determination not to get involved with anyone new.

He put an arm around my waist and held me close, pressing his pelvis to mine. It felt good to have another body so close, as if I could erase Linc's touch just by touching another. We danced for three songs before I called it quits. Pushing my way off the dance floor, the cowboy followed.

"Can I buy you a drink?" he asked.

"Sure," I agreed.

We sat at the bar talking for a while. He was still in school, studying for a business degree. I almost offered to set up a meeting with Mr. Matthews. The boss was always looking for smart young people with degrees. But I didn't want to bring another booty call into the office, so I kept my mouth shut.

"Are you in school?" he asked.

"I work," I answered.

"Where do you work?"

"The lumberyard."

"Oh yeah?" He seemed impressed, as if he hadn't expected it.

"Where did you think I worked?"

"I dunno." He smiled, and all of his college charm came out. "Waitress. Hairstylist. Maybe dental assistant."

"Secretary," I answered over top of my beer mug.

"I might be looking for a secretary before too long." He raised his eyebrows, insinuating the worst.

"I'm not that kind of secretary," I told him.

Gina rescued me, coming off the dance floor and bumping into me, breathless and excited. "Can I talk to you?"

"Yes." I set down my empty mug and followed Gina to the far end of the room.

"I have to go. Do you want to come with me?"

I looked back at the cowboy. He was watching us, hoping that this wasn't the end. He was cute, but he was way too young. And Jacob, the guitarist, had offered me a beer when they were done playing, but that was easily another thirty minutes to an hour from now. If I didn't stop, I would probably end up going home with one of them, and that was something I didn't want to do.

My half-sober mind took control and directed me back to my car. We swung out the door without saying goodbye to any of those guys. I didn't want to think about Linc, but as soon as the eyes of other men were off me, the pain came back. I couldn't stop a little sob from escaping as I stood by my car, trying to fit the key into the lock.

Gina saw me and came around her cherry-red Kia. "Hey. Do you want to sleep on our couch?"

I wiped my eyes. "No." While it would be nice not to be alone, I didn't want to impose. That, and I wasn't sure I was going to be able to sleep. It would be better to go home where everything was familiar, and I could make as much noise as I wanted to.

I realized my mistake as soon as I walked in the door. The sink stared back at me with accusing eyes, and the bed promised nothing but painful memories. I put some comfy pajamas on and closed the bedroom door. Throwing a towel over the sink, I grabbed a tub of ice cream from the freezer and sat down on my couch.

It was going to be a long night.