32. Meredith

32

MEREDITH

E ven as I shut the door, leaving Harlow alone for the rest of the night to get some rest, the stress pours over me. I've been here for almost three weeks now. I've done as much schoolwork as I can away from campus, but I don't know that my teachers believe me anymore about my father having an illness. I've been so vague, and there's been no proof. I can't do this for much longer.

Not to mention the sneaking around. It has to end. I have to find a way to get everyone on the same page, because we're either going to have to tell Harlow or we're going to have to end this.

My heart aches at the very idea of doing that. But I'll do it for Harlow. She's practically my sister. And Addy keeps shooting me these looks, every time I make an excuse or get a phone call or text message. She knows something is going on, and she's close to blowing the top on all of this.

And now, I've just heard the news that Harlow will be coming back to school next semester. I'm not going to be able to hide the fact that Dart, Trap, and Grizzly are coming to visit me constantly in my dorm. Even if I get a new place off campus and Harlow doesn't live with me, it's going to get too obvious. We need to resolve this now.

I burst through my door, ready to do some heavy thinking, only to find both Trap and Dart waiting for me. Trap is lying across the end of my bed, his legs crossed and his expression mischievous.

Dart sits in a chair on the other side of the room, half frozen as if he doesn't come to life until I show up.

I practically melt at the sight of them, but I need to keep my resolve. Both of the guys in this room have confessed feelings for me. That they're falling for me. I haven't heard anything from Grizzly yet, but I know he knows that it's come to this. He's just been too busy to see me much.

But it's been a nearly nightly routine for these two to show up and for some kind of shenanigans to take place. I don't know how I haven't gotten caught yet. Some of the MC members must know.

"Well, what happened? You look really stressed, and you're back later than I thought you would be." Trap stands up and walks over to me, caressing my face and running his hands through my hair.

I close my eyes and savor the sensation for a moment before I ruin all of it. I love it like this. Just peaceful and loving. It's not just about the sex anymore.

I force myself to open my eyes and look at him with seriousness. "We need to talk about something." I keep my voice calm and neutral, but I see the obvious worry on both of their faces.

I brush past Trap and sit at the edge of my bed, pulling my shoes off and letting the top of my body fall against the mattress. I stare at the ceiling, willing the moment to just pass by on its own. But nothing will happen until I speak.

I can feel their eyes on me, though they don't rush me. I can't look at them when I say it.

"Harlow is coming back to school next semester. And I need to catch up. I'm going to have to find a way to make visits to the campus, and we can't keep this a secret anymore. She's going to know if we continue things."

I leave the heaviness in the air for a moment. Sometimes it's good to sit in discomfort and think about things for a bit. You can't always solve everything easily, so getting used to the fact that things won't always go your way is a healthy habit.

"So, what the hell are you saying?" Dart breaks the silence angrily. I know it's just fear. He hears the possibility of a breakup in my words. He's panicking, and I can't blame him. He was the first to speak his feelings for me. The first one who I even noticed from across the room. He and I were headed on a collision course either way. The other two were just happenstance.

"I'm saying that either we get okay with being out in the open somehow, and we find a way to tell Harlow and everyone else, or this is over. I can't keep lying and hiding. I won't do that when she's coming to class on campus with me again. I mean, she'll still be living here with her babies and her men, but she'll be commuting to campus a lot more often. I'll see her all the time. I won't let her find out by accident. That would hurt too much."

I feel the sinking of the bed next to me, letting me know one of them has sat down next to me. I shift my gaze just enough to recognize Trap's jeans. But I still don't look anyone in the face. I half expect both of them to just leave me here. An unspoken breakup, and that would be that. It would be so easy.

At least on the surface.

But then Trap grabs my hand. "I can't speak for anyone else, but I'm not going anywhere. If we need to make this thing public, that's fine. No offense to Harlow or anyone else, but you're it for me. I'd be happy if you shouted it from the rooftops right now."

I hear Dart's possessive growl before the bed sinks on the other side of me. His face comes into view as he leans over me, his hand stroking my forehead and the tendrils of my hair that swing back behind me splayed on the bed.

"Sweetheart, we're not going anywhere. The only thing is, as far as when and how to tell everyone, I don't think it's our place. I know he's busy, but you need to talk to Grizzly. Harlow is his daughter. This impacts him the most. We'll be losing a friend over this, but he'd be losing basically the love of his life."

My heart skips a beat at the idea. And they're right. The stakes for Grizzly are different. If we confess, he's confessing to keeping a secret from his daughter. And she's been his only ray of sunshine since he lost his wife years ago. She's his whole life. If he loses Harlow, he'll lose himself.

I sit up straight, not liking where this is going. "I'm sorry, I'd like to spend some time with you guys, but I have to go talk to Grizzly now. While it's still fresh. You understand, don't you?"

I look back and forth between them both, and they nod.

"We'll be waiting here when you get back. Whatever time that is," Dart says reassuringly. I look over all of their tattoos and their biker jackets, wondering how their sweet hearts are hiding underneath there. I feel so incredibly lucky right now. But I also know there's a chance that Grizzly's response could bring this all crashing down tonight. It's why I have to go now. I can't wait another moment. The deeper it gets, the harder it will hurt if I lose them.

Assuming that even this late at night he's in his office, I quietly make my way through the halls and down the stairs. There are still a few members hanging around near the bar and playing pool, but I'm in the shadows out of sight. And Harlow and her guys are nowhere to be seen. I'm sure they're asleep cuddled up together by now.

I softly knock on the door to Grizzly's office. There's an affirmative grunt as if to tell me to come in, but it doesn't form an actual word.

I crack the door open and slip in, quickly shutting it behind me. I reach behind me and lock it, flattening myself against the door as he doesn't even look up at me. I'm sure he's assuming I'm one of his members coming to talk about whatever is making him look so stressed.

I almost turn around and dart out. He doesn't look like he's in the mood to talk about this right now. And I can't blame him. He's going through a lot. He keeps rubbing his face as if he can rub the wrinkles out. I want to just go to him and comfort him.

When I don't say anything for a while, he looks up at me from under his lashes. Such a beautiful man for his age and everything he's been through in his life. He's like a work of art. My body melts just looking at him.

"Meredith, what are you doing?—"

I walk over to him. I can't help myself as I place my finger over his lips to shut him up. If this could end tonight, I want one more time with him. One more explosive moment. Then I can let it all go.

I trail my finger down his lips and face, lingering in his beard for a moment before continuing down to his zipper.

"Meredith," he groans as I unzip his jeans and unbutton them.

"Shh, you're stressed. Let me make you feel better," I whisper.

He groans again but stands up and lets me tug his pants and boxers down.

"Don't worry," I tell him. "The door's locked and Harlow's asleep."

I walk him into the wall behind his desk, and he looks at me with a gaze full of lust, though I swear there's something more. My body aches for him, and I want him to make me feel good too. But I want to do this for him first. He protects and serves everyone, so it's his turn to be catered to.

I slide my hand up under his shirt, feeling his hard chest as he breathes heavily in and out. Then, I seal the heat between us with a kiss. His hand slides behind my neck and rubs it with his thumb in a way that makes me soak my panties.

I sear him with a look as he grabs a fistful of hair while I slide down his body until I reach his fully erect cock. It's standing at attention just for me, and after all this time it's still hard to believe I can do this to him.

He pulls my hair in a satisfying way and releases a soft moan as I wrap my lips around the head and give it a little lick to tease him.

I gaze up at him from where I kneel and watch him close his eyes and lean his head back in ecstasy while I take more of him into my mouth. My lips stretch, surrounding him, and as I reach the back of my throat to accommodate his size, my eyes tear a little. But I won't stop.

He growls possessively as I begin to pull him in and out of my mouth, swirling my tongue expertly and letting his reactions guide me. It's not long before his hips start pumping, forcing his cock to fuck my mouth. I don't mind as my core tightens, thinking of the power I have over him.

I let him use me like his little sex doll.

His balls tighten, and I suck harder, ready to take all he has to give me. "Meredith," he groans. "God, I fucking love you."

I go harder for him, pushing myself to my limits as my heart swells. I don't know if he means it or if he was caught up in the moment, but right now I don't care.

He releases into me, and I drink him down until every last drop is gone.

He pulls out, breathing hard before pulling me up by my neck. He kisses me, tasting himself on me before his hand finds my center, soaking through my tight yoga pants.

"You're so fucking wet from pleasing me. Such a dirty girl for me," he tells me. I nearly cream at the thought.

He flips me around and pushes his chair out of the way so he can bend me over the table. Without any other foreplay, he pulls my pants down and slams into me, his cock still hard even though I drained him dry.

I bite my tongue until I taste blood to stop myself from screaming. Someone will surely come running and figure out what the hell is going on in here. They'll never let it go until they find out who the Prez is making come all over his cock.

He stretches me wide and fucks me hard, my tits bouncing as he reaches around to cup them and play with the nipples. I've never felt so much stimulation at once from one man. My head goes blank, and I see stars, my body shaking far too soon. But if this all ends tonight, it'll go out with pleasure and a bang.

"Fuck, Grizzly. God, I don't want you to stop."

That spurs him on, and he finishes in me again as I pulse around him. Too soon, he's pulling out and helping me with my pants.

As Grizzly zips his pants back up, I dare ask the question, "Did you mean what you said?" It comes out in a whisper. My voice is so timid, and I'm scared to get the answer to the question. I know things can just slip out while people are in the throes of passion. But it felt so real.

He looks me dead in the eye with that piercing gaze of his, and tells me, "Yes." Just one word, and I nearly have a heart attack.

"You love me?"

He nods. "I didn't stutter."

I let the words come out like vomit. "Then we have to tell her. I can't live like this anymore. I'm falling in love with all of you. I want to be with you out in the open. And Harlow's coming back to school next semester. You must know that."

He sits back down in his chair and gives a nod. "I was hoping an idea would come to me. But yes, I know."

I sigh, letting my head drop into my hands on his desk. It's late, and I'm more than exhausted.

"I know what you're thinking. You don't want me to lose her. You think you would have to choose."

I don't even have to answer him. He's basically reading my mind.

"But I don't think it'll be like that. Sure, she might be upset, mostly at me considering how I treated her and my officers when she told me about them. But she'll never deny love from anyone. And I'll face whatever happens for you. But she's your best friend. I want you to decide how this goes, darlin'. I'm going to let you have control. Is that okay?"

I look up at him, my jaw popping open in surprise. I never thought I would hear such a thing from Grizzly. Me? In control?

"I need a few days to think about it. Can I go finish up at campus, get my study guides for the exams, and then let you know?"

He sighs. "I suppose you need to go back sooner or later, since we're not making any headway on this Bratva problem—as much as I'd love to tie you to my bed and never let you leave." He smirks at me, and my thighs clench together involuntarily at the image. "I'll send Dart and Mikey with you. They'll be with you pretty much twenty-four seven. I need Trap here, though. And please come back for your break."

"Of course." I stand up and go to him, squeezing him hard and giving him one last passionate kiss before I leave the room. I have a lot to think about.

Thank goodness, it's the last day of exams. I don't know if I've caught a cold or some kind of stomach bug. There have been a few people sick during the exam just like me. Or maybe it's just all the late nights and the terrible fast food while I've been preparing for all of this.

Dart has been with me every step of the way, though Grizzly and Trap visit they can. But Dart is the one who helped me with all of my study guides and tested me with flashcards. I have never done well in exams. I had to fill myself up with Pepto and cold medicine in order to get through these.

As I circle the last answer on the last test before the end of the semester, I pick up the paper and drag it to the front. My feet scuffle across the floor like a zombie as I leave the room and head back to my bed. It's the only thing I've been able to think about all day.

Sleep.

Dart must be so bored with me at this point. I did all that studying, and now I'm just going to go and sleep. He kept telling me he wanted to celebrate the end of my semester, but I made him agree to wait for one day. Just one day for me to get better. So, he's planning a big thing at the clubhouse for tomorrow, and Mikey and two other prospects are around campus to make sure I'm safe.

And Addy hasn't said anything, probably because of the change of guards here. So, I'll have the time to finally figure out how we're going to tell Harlow about this.

As I get inside, my stomach begins to grumble and this pushing sensation hits my throat. My purse still in hand, I run to the bathroom.

I lean over the toilet and puke out the little bit of food that I've had today. I've tried to keep it simple. Some toast and a single egg. But apparently, I can't even keep those down.

I ran to the toilet so fast that I dropped my purse on the ground, and the little calendar I keep with me falls out. I usually use it to track my cycle, but I haven't been doing that with all the chaos. And it makes me think.

No, it can't be.

I pick it up and start sifting through it. I know this can't be right. This can't be happening.

I'm normally a bit irregular, but not like this. I'm nearly two months late. In all the excitement of the last few months, I didn't even think… How could I have been so careless? I remember the day all three of my men took me for the first time, how their cum filled me to the point it was dripping out onto the pool table.

I know what I need to do next. Feeling this ill and all alone, I don't know how I'm going to do it, but there's nobody to tell. So many thoughts swirl through my head at the possibilities. I need to know the truth before I go to anyone else about it. I'm not going to be able to hide it if it's true. Not forever. But I don't want to cause unnecessary drama either.

I force myself up off the floor and go to shared kitchen in my dormitory. I'll have a cup of ginger green tea first, to calm my stomach, and then I'll head to the nearest convenience store. I'll have to make sure to buy some junk food and maybe some gum. That way it doesn't look like I've gone for something suspicious. I don't know how much attention my guards will pay to my purchases, and I don't want Mikey to go spread rumors with Dart when they see each other again.

It takes me about an hour to be ready to go, and I'm fighting nausea still on the way there. But I think this nausea is about nervousness. What is everyone going to think?

I can't have that line of thinking. One moment at a time.

I go and pick out some wintergreen gum, a bag of chips, some ice cream, and I get a beer for both of my guards. Maybe a good present will keep them hushed. Then, I grab the dreaded pack of three pregnancy tests. Just to be sure.

I feel so weird as I go to check all these things out, and I'm glad my guards wait outside on their bikes instead of coming inside with me. I shove everything down into the bag so they can't see everything I have and head back out, offering them the beers.

I give them the beers once we get back to my dorm, and they sit down on the steps of the building and get to shooting the shit. Good, that means they'll leave me alone for a bit.

I pee on the sticks and set them across the bathroom counter before starting a ten-minute timer on my phone. I tap my knee as I sit there and wait for the answer. Though, I know in my bones what the answer is going to be. And it's going to change so many things in a way that I never wanted.

Sure enough, as the timer goes off and I slowly look at them, they all say positive.

I'm pregnant. And I don't know how I'm going to tell anyone.