31. Trap

31

TRAP

D art walks beside me, looking like he's literally walking on clouds right now. As he should. The most perfect woman just told him she's falling for him.

Then I ruined their sweet moment by panicking when she looked at me, and finding myself at a loss for words. I see one glimpse of those bright green eyes and I'm lost. To be honest, I'm scared of what that might mean. So I backed away.

Besides, there's no way she could feel the same way about me as she does about Dart. And Grizzly. Because I know out of all of us, Grizzly's had strong feelings for her since the beginning. He would burn the world down for her. I half-expected him to do it already.

But she hasn't known me as long as them.

Dart is silent as we walk down the hallway and down to the main clubhouse. I wonder what he's thinking. I know we all agreed to share her, and I'm trying to be fair—I don't expect her to fall head over heels for me immediately. We need more time to get to know each other. But I can't deny that I wish it was me she'd said those words to.

We go and get some breakfast at the bar and eat it, Dart not mentioning anything about the fact that I'm completely silent or about what he said to Meredith.

Before we meet with Grizzly and get an update on the kidnapping and everything else that's going on with the Bratva, Dart pulls me to the side.

"Okay, man, what the hell was that all about up there in her room? I can't sit by and watch somebody hurt her like that," he says through gritted teeth.

Hurt her? My heart skips a beat at those words. Did I really hurt her?

"What do you mean? I just thought the two of you needed some privacy. You seemed to be talking about something pretty intimate…"

He clenches his fists at his sides, and my eyes dart down to them. He's really pissed off.

"Hey, calm the hell down, Dart. Why are you so angry?"

"Seriously?" he asks incredulously, punching the wall next to him. We get a couple of glancing eyes, but luckily the club isn't full of people yet. Only a few prospects and a couple of other early risers.

"After I told her how I felt, she looked at you. She looked at you hoping you would have some form of affection to give her. You gave her literally nothing. I don't expect you to get down on one knee or some shit, but seriously, the hurt on her face was terrible to watch."

I put my hands up in the air in surrender. "Look, I didn't realize that would hurt her. I just didn't know what to say. I didn't want to drag myself into your moment, and I'm just not ready for that kind of thing yet. We're just having fun, you know?"

He gives me a sideways glance. "Bullshit. You wouldn't be sharing her with two other men if you were just having fun. Not like this. I've never seen you this way with another woman."

I sigh and look away, because I know he's right.

"Don't you do that again. Don't you look away like that and avoid this. Because if you keep doing that, Grizzly might come over to kick you out of this thing. We can't have Meredith hurt in all of this. She's better than that."

I pull myself together and look back at Dart. He's my friend, and he understands what it means to feel something for Meredith. If he's not someone I can talk to about this, then who is? "Fine. I'm fucking falling for her. Does that make you happy? I'm scared shitless, Dart. This is not like me. This is nothing like me. I don't know what to do. We could lose her."

I run my hands through my hair. I've been in some pretty fucked-up and dangerous situations, but I've never felt fear like this.

"Fear is nothing new for us and neither is loss. It doesn't mean the risk isn't worth taking. Isn't that the whole point of being in an MC?" Dart lectures me.

I nod in agreement, steeling myself. "I'll figure out something to tell her. And Grizzly should know you said something too. In case he wants to say something as well."

He nods. "Agreed."

He slaps me on the back, and we continue on our way to Grizzly's office. I don't know how he's going to take the fact that Dart's the one who said something to her first. Especially when he's under such stress. But he does deserve a chance to say something. And he deserves our honesty even in this time of trouble.

Just like Meredith deserves honesty from me.

I just hope the three of us will continue to be able to navigate this as we all fall to our knees for this queen of ours.

After our talk with Grizzly, and a few errands for the MC, I find a moment to sneak back up to Meredith's room, telling Mikey to take a break.

I knock on the door, and hear her sweet voice telling me to come in. My heart is beating so loud in my chest as I push open the door.

Meredith is lying on the bed on her stomach, books spread out around her as she takes notes in a notebook. When she sees it's me, she smiles, but it's tentative. It's as if she doesn't know where we stand, like she doesn't want to get her hopes up, and I hate that expression on her face.

I want to kiss it away, so I do, bounding over to the bed and taking her lips in mine.

She responds eagerly, opening to my touch, our tongues tangling together. When we part to take a breath, she looks up at me with a dazed expression. "What was that for, Trap?"

"I just missed you, baby. So much," I admit.

She giggles, and I want to hear that sound forever. "You just saw me a few hours ago." Seeing the dead-serious expression on my face, she adds, "I missed you too. I always do. But what's this really about?"

I take a deep breath. "Well, Dart had a few choice words to say to me this morning, saying I left you hanging. I thought I was giving you and Dart a moment together without intruding, you know? But then…I realized I was also just being a little chickenshit—because I'm falling hard for you. What I feel for you, Meredith? It terrifies me. And I don't know how to put words to that, but I just wanted you to know. I don't want you to ever think I'm not in this for real, that's all." I'm stumbling over my words, but man am I glad Dart gave me the push to say them, because the smile that spreads across her face is worth everything.

Her eyes are tearing up and she beams up at me for a moment before she pulls me down into another kiss. Then she whispers against my mouth, "I'm in this for real too. I'm falling for you, Trap."

And I feel like the luckiest man alive.