18. Trap

18

TRAP

I hate this. I fucking hate this. I hate feeling like I'm coming up short against the other two. I always feel this way no matter what I do.

I knew she had a crush on Dart to begin with, and Grizzly has been a part of her life for a long time because of her friendship with Harlow. I just hate feeling like I'm late to the game, which is exactly what I am in her eyes.

At least, that's what I'm sure she thinks about me. I never bothered to pay much attention to her at first because I knew about her infatuation with Dart, but now I want her. No…I need to fuck her, to feel her under me, and me in her. It's a need.

I want her to be mine and only mine, but I'll have to take what I can get since she doesn't want to choose just one of us. I'll have to share. It's not like I haven't before, but there's just something about her that I can't put my finger on.

I watch as Dart gets close to her by the bathroom door and it's all I can do not to rip my friend's throat out. I know this isn't normal, and for a split second I think about backing off and letting him and Grizzly fight over her, but there's something about Meredith that draws me in, and I need her like my lungs need oxygen.

It's as though she is life-giving force, and I don't have a life to live without her. Fuck the fact that I have this brotherhood and all the bonds that come with it…this girl has a hold on me and I just don't know how to let go.

But do I really have to let go?

As Dart talks to her and asks if she wants to stay after the celebration, I step forward, crowding in beside him. Right now, in the moment, I don't feel like the odd man out because I see the way she's looking at me. Dart too, but me…she is looking at me.

"Yeah, maybe we can have some fun of our own later," I say, feeling bold.

I see the hard swallow and I can tell my words have done something to her. I smirk and wink at her as she agrees to stay. My cock twitches in my pants just thinking about all the things we might be doing later. My thoughts run wild, and it doesn't even matter to me that my club brothers might join in on it. God, how desperate have I become for this girl?

We follow her back to the celebration and I look around to make sure no one noticed we came back in together.

The drinks are flowing, and bodies are melded together, dancing to the music provided by the jukebox in the corner of the bar. There are girls dancing on the bar in next to nothing, and I know the booze is to blame. Ordinarily I would watch, but my eyes have other things to do.

I hang back a bit and watch Meredith as she mingles and talks with some of the other members. She hugs Rap and congratulates him again on being patched, and the sight makes me stiffen. I grab the edge of the bar to keep from breaking both of his arms as they snake around her waist. It's a quick hug and I tell myself I need to get a grip.

No one can know, and if I keep acting like a jealous idiot, the whole club will know something is going on, not to mention Grizzly and Dart will eat me alive. If they knew I was putty…pure putty in her hands, they would never let me live this one down.

She moves on from Rap and I breathe a sigh of relief since I don't feel like tearing out his windpipe anymore…the kid will live past his first night in the club.

My heart thuds in my chest as I watch her give Grizzly a casual hug. This time, I know it means more—I can see it on their faces. My stomach rolls and jealousy fills me. I take a deep breath, trying to calm down, but there's no way I can do that.

I agreed to this. It's the only way to have her.

"Trap! You sexy son of a bitch, why are you all the way over in the corner by yourself? Come join the party," Rap yells at me from his place between Grizzly and Dart.

Meredith is still standing to the right side of Grizzly and I'm not sure I can trust myself not to grab her and take her right here in front of everyone. I lick the beer from my bottom lip and swallow hard as I make my way over to them, relaxing a bit when I see Harlow standing next to Meredith.

I find it easier to control my thoughts and not act on them when Harlow is around. I've never understood why, other than the fact that she's Grizzly's daughter and he'd kill us if we ever did anything disrespectful in front of her. Eventually, we all find seats and sit in a big group together as others dance or play pool.

"I bet you can't wait for it to be your turn can you, Dart?" Rap asks as he takes a swig of his thirteenth beer.

"I can't wait, if I'm being honest." Dart replies. "I've worked hard to earn my spot here. You have too, and I'm proud of you, buddy." He and Rap clink their beer bottles together. I smile at the interaction, knowing Dart will have his time soon.

I look up and catch Meredith's eyes on me. They're soft, with a look of something that I can't identify in them. I wink at her as I take a long gulp of my beer before sitting the bottle back on the table. I can feel myself slipping back into my head when I hear Meredith and Harlow's friend Addy mention something about dancing.

God, no. Please don't let her get up and shake her ass in front of me. I don't know if I'll be able to control myself if she dances in that short black number she has on. I look over at Grizzly and Dart, only to see them both staring at her with a lustful glint in their eyes. I look back at her, and she keeps looking at me as she starts to move.

She's dancing alongside Harlow and Addy, but her eyes are on me the whole time. I start to freak out inside since I know that if she doesn't look away, everyone is gonna catch on to the fact that there's something going on with us.

I breathe a sigh of relief when her eyes flick over in Dart and Grizzly's direction, and she smiles at them. After a few more songs, the girls come back and sit down.

Soon, a soft cooing sound from the baby monitor plays slightly over the loudness of the crowd. Harlow must have that thing turned up to max, and it isn't long before she excuses herself upstairs to check on the twins and the others from the table get up to dance once again.

I stay at the table sipping my beer until I hear a soft voice from beside me. Meredith has come from seemingly out of nowhere since she was on the dance floor next to Addy just moments ago.

"Dance with me," Meredith says as she reaches for my hand to tug me up out of my chair.

This is a bad idea. I know it is, but there is no refusing her, so I stand.

I couldn't refuse her if I tried.

I find myself following her to the dance floor and standing close to her as the music plays something a bit slower. I try to keep a bit of distance, since I can feel Grizzly and Dart staring holes into the back of my head. The song switches, and of course an even slower ones starts up next. I can still feel their gazes on the back of my head as I move closer and wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her flush against my body.

She feels so good against me and I never want to let her go. We sway with the music as she lays her head against my chest and my heart gallops against my rib cage, threatening to explode. The song ends and another one starts. A faster one this time, and instead of stepping away from me like I think she will, Meredith turns around in my arms, wiggling her ass against my crotch.

Fuck my life. This can't be happening.

I can feel Grizzly's eyes boring into my brain at this point, and I'm scared to look at his face. I know that if I don't step away and let her dance with someone else, people are going to figure out that something is up with us. My cock twitches in my jeans as she grazes my crotch with her ass once again, and I have to bite my tongue to keep from groaning.

She turns around to face me again and practically uses my body as a pole to dance on. I'm using every ounce of self-control I have not to throw her over my shoulder and carry her to my room.

I can't do that and I know it. I won't do that unless she asks me to.

I'm trying to respect the fact that she wants all of us, but it's really hard for me to do sometimes when all I want to do is throw her on my bed, pin her legs to the mattress, and fuck her until she forgets her name and screams mine. She runs her hand along my jaw and I feel my dick throb in my jeans.

I breathe a sigh of relief when the song changes, and I step away from her reluctantly. I want nothing more than to keep grinding my painfully hard cock against her while imagining all the ways I can take her, but I know that's just a fantasy. I want to keep being selfish, but I know I can't.

"Baby, I want nothing more than to hold you close all night, but I think I better back off and let someone else have a turn before a fight breaks out," I whisper in her ear as I flick my eyes toward Grizzly and Dart.

"They are looking a little grumpy," she replies with a grin as she moves away from me, putting space between our bodies.

"More than grumpy, they're looking downright murderous. Plus, Addy is looking a little lonely," I say, nodding to her friend who's dancing in circles alone.

Meredith giggles as she twirls her way over to her friend and starts dancing with her. A few minutes after she starts dancing with Addy, Grizzly and Dart make their way over and dance with both of them, taking turns being Meredith's partner.

I take my seat at the table and watch as she laughs and has fun dancing with the other two and a few others. I can't peel my eyes away from Meredith and the group of thrashing bodies on the dance floor. I watch as Dart's hands go where mine were mere minutes ago, and I feel my blood pressure skyrocket. My fists ball at my sides and I know I must have a strange look on my face by the way she's looking at me. I tell myself that I need to calm down, and I look away, taking another drink of the beer in front of me.

Get a grip, asshole. You're gonna blow your cover before anything can even happen with her if you don't get it together.

I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths, trying to tame the jealous rage that's building up in me. I need her in my arms tonight. I need to feel every line and curve of her body under me. I need to feel her writhe and squirm as I pleasure her over and over.

I'm not sure how it's gonna happen yet, but I know one thing—it will.