17. Meredith

17

MEREDITH

M y stomach swims with thoughts of what I might find once we get to the clubhouse, and even more thoughts of what I might not. Do I want attention from the guys or do I not? Either way, I've dressed nice enough to be noticed, but not so over-the-top as to be mistaken for something I'm not.

As I drive us over, Addy lets me know her approval of my dress about five times. I'm the designated driver because she insists she's going to get really wasted tonight and make her move on Match once and for all. I'll believe it when I see it. She's a lot of talk, but not as much action.

I can't fault her for it—it's one of the things I like most about her.

Eventually, we pull up to the club and get out of the car. They park the car for us, so once we're out of it, I hand the keys over to a man I've seen a few times but don't know the name of. Once we're finally inside, the place is loud and packed as usual...well, to be honest, it seems way more packed than usual. My stomach twists at how many people are here, but instead of showing the discomfort on my face, I take Addy's arm and we move toward the massive group of people congregating just inside the door.

I see people I've never seen in here before, and it makes me even more stressed. Not only do I have to worry about my feelings for the guys who saved my ass, but I have to worry about the sex-crazed emotions of half the guys in here.

"I say we split up and get a feel for what's going on in here…maybe increase our chances of finding Harlow," Addy says, and I nod, letting her know I'm fine with the separation.

It won't be too hard to find one another again once we do spot Harlow.

I begin to walk through the crowd, bumping elbows with men who are dancing with women in the most provocative ways. They might as well be fucking right here in this room with how hard some of them are bumping and grinding.

In what seems like no time, I spot Harlow over by the bar and walk up to her.

"Harlow, what the hell is going on here?" I ask her as I wrap my arms around her in a hug.

She smiles and pulls away, looking me up and down. "Damn…you look hot," she says, as if she hasn't seen me in a dress before.

It's just about the sexiest dress I own—a black, sleek and strappy number, a take on the little black dress that's a bit more Bohemian and a bit less traditional, but it does come above the knee and show my cleavage well enough to work for the situation at hand.

"Thank you," I say, perhaps a little too shy for current company.

"Look who's coming out of her shell for once, ladies and gentlemen," Harlow says as if she's announcing to the crowd. "Or is this Addy's doing?"

She has to almost scream for me to hear. There's music and cheering all around us, and my cheeks flush at the thought of the number of people who just heard that I'm not dressed like this most of the time.

"This one's on me," I finally say when the embarrassment dies down. "But seriously, what is all this about? I mean…we've been here before, but this is something else."

Before she can say anything else, Addy comes up to us. She's fanning herself and I wonder if she's hot or if she's just seen some hot guy doing some hot guy shit.

"With all these people, it's bound to be fucking hot in here." Addy smiles as she continues to fan herself, and I know now that she means that both literally and figuratively.

I smile as I see her eyes scanning over all the men in the crowd.

Harlow finally nods as if putting a pin in my answer as she orders us a round of drinks. Once the three of us have drinks in hand despite me protesting that I am the DD, we find a place to sit for a bit that's a little more quiet and a little less…hot.

"You know Rap?" Harlow asks, pointing.

Rap is more dressed up than I've seen him, with tight dark-wash jeans, a dress shirt, and a leather vest. His hair is slicked back, but not in a greasy way, just like he paid more attention to it than usual.

"I think I know who that is," Addy says, making it irrelevant for me to say anything.

I'm happy for that, since I haven't exactly figured out how I'm going to tell Harlow about everything that's happened, including the reason her dad has sent Rap to be my guard dog for a few days.

"What about him?" I ask, seeing that both of them have noticed me getting lost in my own thoughts.

"He's getting patched in today," Harlow says.

"Oh yeah…is that all he's getting?" Addy asks with a smirk.

"Oh yeah," Harlow says, sarcastically. "Patched, cut, tatted, and everything…and slutted out to a club whore most likely."

"Aw, he's finally going to be a member," Addy says, and I laugh, enjoying their banter.

"It's a big celebration," I admit as I sip my drink again. I smile, knowing he deserves it. All the guys who finally get patched in do.

"I'll have to be sure to find him and give him my congratulations," Addy says, and I giggle.

"You do that." I smile at her as I take a drink again, realizing I'm getting drunk a lot faster than I should.

"Isn't he the guy with all of the…" Addy asks, circling a finger around her face to represent all the piercings he has.

Harlow laughs. "Yeah, that would be him. But he's a sweetheart."

I still have to talk to Harlow about what happened. She still doesn't know, mostly because I've been too busy with class and texting to get a hold of her, and she's too busy being a mother so I just haven't wanted to bother her. Addy is right—it's weird not to see or hear from Harlow every day.

Not when we've been so used to talking every day.

I smile when an older woman approaches with three shots on a tray. "Guy over at the bar bought these for you three girls," she says as she holds them out to us.

I reach behind me and grab my tequila shot, and all of us drown one down with a silent cheers.

"Well, ladies," Harlow says, and it sounds as if she's trying to leave.

"No…" Addy whines. "Is your party over for the night?" I don't say anything—I know Harlow has other responsibilities.

"It's really loud down here, and I need to relieve a couple of my guys from baby duty. It's not fair for them to stay up there with the twins and not get to celebrate," she adds, and I stand to hug her.

"We understand," I say, but in truth, I'd love to go up with her rather than stay down here in the bump and grind.

Harlow must read that in my features. "Do you want to come up with me, or stay down here at the party?"

I skim my eyes around the place, wondering if I might see Dart or Trap. I catch Dart over by the pool table, but neither Trap nor Grizzly appear in my line of sight. I half wonder if the shots were from one of them, but I don't want to assume.

It's probably best I don't run into them in front of Harlow, especially before I get to tell her what happened. She deserves to know.

"I'll come up with you," I say.

"What about you, Adds?" Harlow asks, and Addy nods.

"Yeah, for a little bit. I can come back down and party later. I'd love to see my best friend for a while longer." She squeezes Harlow dramatically, and Harlow rolls her eyes and laughs.

"Well, let's congratulate the new member, then, and head up to the twins," Harlow says.

We each take one of Harlow's hands, and she leads us through the crowd in search of the newly patched member. The sea of people easily parts for her, and I know it's a perk of being the president's daughter and all.

I instantly regret coming with her, though, because standing right next to Rap as he pulls himself off of a keg, is Grizzly. Our eyes meet, and I have to look down shyly at my boots to shut down the heat that's climbing through me.

Every memory of what happened between us comes rushing back, and I know I have to calm down. Shit. Is Harlow going to notice? And what about Addy?

"Hey, ladies," Rap says, coming over to us and offering a handshake. I'm happy for the distraction.

Despite how much Rap's just had to drink, and I'm sure he's already had more tonight, he's pretty steady on his feet. "To what do I owe this honor?" he asks, as if he has no idea we're there to celebrate him.

He makes me laugh, and I give him a hug. "Congratulations are in order here," I say, noticing that Grizzly is watching my every move.

I just hope his daughter doesn't notice him ogling me before I can tell her what's happened, and might still be happening, between her father and me.

"Oh yeah, you heard, they patched me…there just so happens to be a party going on at the same time," he jokes as he puts one arm around my neck and the other around Addy's.

He turns around and wiggles to show us his cut as if it's the best thing since sliced bread. I guess for him, it kind of is.

The three of us clap and laugh as Grizzly comes up to us. He's standing super close to me, and I can feel the warmth coming from him. I wish he would touch me, or say anything to me, but he seems to be avoiding even looking at me. Which makes total sense considering Harlow's to my left.

"You headed upstairs to the twins?" he asks in a loving tone meant for his daughter.

She nods. "Yeah, and I'm taking these girls with me. I think your VP should be down here celebrating with you and not up there with the twins right now."

"Well, you girls have fun and don't forget to drop in when the twins are down for a nap." Grizzly waves to us, but I swear he saves a smirk for me that I pray was lost on Harlow.

Before I can choke on my own spit, I turn around and follow Addy and Harlow back up to Harlow's room. Sure enough, two of her men are there, rocking the babies, one of them with a half-empty bottle in his hand.

"He doesn't seem to want any more," Bane grumbles as he hands the bottle over to Harlow.

Harlow laughs. "That's okay. I already fed them earlier. Must've just been a bit of a hungry boy."

She reaches for Declan, and Addy goes up to take Daisy from Colt.

"Love you both, I've got this. You need to get down there. Rap's already had way too much to drink, and shit's going to hit the fan. I'd love for him to see you two there before he forgets his own name."

They chuckle and then leave the room with a kiss to her cheek and a smile to each of their children.

The exchange sends shivers down my spine. I never paid that much attention in the past, but now I can't stop seeing myself and the three guys I'm now involved with in the picture instead. Is that even something that could be in my future?

It's all so new, and I don't know how I feel about it. So, why the hell am I even thinking about this?

Both of the twins get burped and then Harlow sets them down on the carpet with some of their toys. I sink down against the bed cross-legged, and Daisy tries to walk toward me.

"No way she's walking already."

Harlow shakes her head. "She can stand on little wobbly legs, but she falls back down almost instantly."

Sure enough, she tries to take a step and does exactly that. Her diaper thumps when she lands on the ground, but she laughs as if it's some kind of game or ride.

I giggle at her cuteness.

"Look guys, I love my life, but tell me about life on campus. I'm here missing everything, and you guys are out there experiencing a different kind of life," Harlow finally says, and I can't help but wonder if it's all as great as she makes it out to be.

Addy shares a look with me, and I know she's wondering if I'll speak up first. When I don't...she answers, "For me, it's the same old same old." She shrugs her shoulders as if she doesn't have a life.

"Um…" I begin, not knowing how to even broach the subject I have to talk to her about. I know it's going to be sore for her still. She acts like she's completely moved on from it, but I know it still bothers her. She's spoken many times about how she can't wait for the MC to get revenge, and her experience was much worse than mine.

"Well, I might as well come out with it. Harlow, I tried to find you the morning after it happened and couldn't, but…I ended up getting kidnapped last weekend by the same people who hurt you," I blurt out, like it isn't going to just rip a bandage off.

The moment I say it, I wish I could take it away. She was playing with a rattle with one of the twins, but then she looks up at me, horrified, frozen in fear.

"You mean…the Russians? Like, the same weekend that my father, Trap, and Dart went to go check out some secret auction? You mean that same weekend?" she asks, but none of it is accusatory.

I slowly nod as the picture probably forms in her head, including all her memories and fears.

"They found you there, didn't they? Do you know if they knew you were there? Because if they knew and they didn't tell me?—"

I put my hand up. "It was a total coincidence. It has to do with my dad. He got in some trouble—a lot of trouble. Like, he owes them money," I begin, hoping I can explain it all without getting too upset. "I really don't want to rehash the whole thing again, but long story short, to settle the debt, they were going to sell my virginity."

"Holy fucking shit," Harlow says, clearly influenced by how much more time she spends with the MC now.

Even though she's been involved her whole life, she's always been kind of a good girl like me. Not quite as much as me, but close. Just less quiet.

"Are you okay?" she finally asks.

I nod quickly to reassure her. She reaches over and grabs my hand, squeezing it tightly.

"I'm okay, thanks to your dad and the other two. That's all that matters," I say as I caress the head of the baby in my arms. "I hate to think what the other girls are enduring now, since they didn't have heroes to rescue them like I did."

I shudder as I think about it, and Harlow looks at me with an expression of sympathy on her face. I can tell there are a million questions rolling around in her mind and she doesn't know how to ask them. Addy clears her throat and takes Daisy from me, getting her turn to cuddle. I move to help Harlow get Declan down in his crib and we stay silent for a few minutes.

Once both babies are in their own cribs, Harlow turns to look at me. "Well, it sounds like you're very much deserving of a night of fun. Why don't we go back downstairs and watch the festivities?" She tugs my hand and reaches for the baby monitor on the dresser to take the receiving end with her.

All three of us head down the stairs, back to the main area of the club where everyone is gathered, celebrating the patching of the new member. Rap is three sheets to the wind, and I laugh as I watch him. I catch the gazes of both Dart and Trap from across the room, and heat floods my body. I look away as fast as possible, and try to focus on the conversation with the girls.

A little while later, I excuse myself to the ladies' room to get a break from the crazy party. When I come out, Trap and Dart are waiting for me by the door.

"Well, to what do I owe the pleasure?" I tease them, realizing how much they're looking me up and down.

"Pleasure, you say? I can give you pleasure," Dart teases with a smile, taking a step closer to me.

I watch as Trap's jaw clenches and I can tell he's trying to hold back what he's feeling for me. I kind of want to see how far they would go to get me, but now is not the time or the place.

"We were just wondering if you wanted to stay a while longer tonight," Dart says softly as he gets closer to me, forcing me to back up against the wall.

"Yeah, maybe we could have some fun of our own later," Trap says as he crowds in beside Dart.

Heat shoots through my body and pools between my legs as the reality of what Trap has said sinks in. I swallow hard and my heart pounds against my rib cage.

All I can think about is Grizzly. Will he be joining in the fun? Why do I even care? Why do I want all three of these men at the same time? What the fuck is wrong with me? The questions swirl around in my mind as I look back and forth between the deliciously handsome men in front of me.

"I'd love to stay," I reply as I smile at them.

I'm not sure what I'm getting myself into, but I don't think I can stop.

I'm not sure I want to.