CHAPTER TEN

IFERINHAD been impressed by his parents' villa, this one was on another level entirely. Apparently it was owned by another Greek billionaire, who was currently renting it out rather than living in it.

It was a soaring, white modern edifice on about three levels. It had been taken over by an events team and decorated with lanterns and fairy-lights. Uniformed staff in black and white moved through the guests—of which Erin counted about two hundred—with trays of sparkling wine and canapés that looked too good to eat. So she didn't. Anyway, she was terrified of getting anything on her evening dress.

She'd thought it was over the top, but Georgiana had convinced her and she was glad she'd listened now because she did blend in. The dress was cream silk with a halter-neck design, leaving her back bare, and slashed from her throat to navel where a jewel detail pulled the slinky fabric together before it fell in folds to the ground. She'd teamed it with high-heeled silver sandals.

Damia had helped her with her hair and make-up while Ashling had played with all the new toys that they'd found in the nursery—a nice touch, Erin had thought.

She'd nearly fainted when Ajax had told them they were taking a helicopter to the other island. Her adrenaline was still pumping and Ajax's hand was on her bare back, which wasn't helping. She would have asked him to remove it, but she remembered that they were supposed to be together.

Maybe she could convince him that now would be an appropriately public time to have a spat. But he was steering her towards people, and she soon got used to nodding and smiling inanely as he introduced her to distant relatives and acquaintances.

Everyone was perfectly civil, but there was a distinct lack of warmth, or fun. And since when had Erin been into fun?

Since you started making love with practical strangers in elevators and jumping into swimming pools fully clothed, whispered a sly voice.

She shook her head to get rid of it.

Ajax looked at her during a break in the never-ending stream of people. ‘Okay?'

She forced a smile. ‘Fine.'

Then she felt Ajax tense beside her. A couple were approaching. Probably in their sixties. Handsome. Not unlike his parents. He greeted them with the same kind of dry air-kiss as he had his mother and then said, ‘Erin, I'd like you to meet Sofia's parents—Mr and Mrs Karakis.'

Erin's insides plummeted. She shook their hands, and couldn't help blurting out, ‘I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how devastating it has been for you.'

Sofia's mother looked at Erin as if she had two heads. As if she'd said something completely incomprehensible. Then they moved away again.

Erin felt bewildered. ‘What just happened? Should I not have sympathised with them?'

Ajax was shaking his head. ‘No—I mean, yes, of course. Because you are from the normal world, where people experience emotions and are compassionate. But in their world it was a loss, yes, but as you can see it didn't end their world.'

Ajax sounded a little bitter.

‘You feel the loss more keenly than they do,' Erin observed. ‘Probably for Sofia too.'

‘I visit their graves,' Ajax confided. ‘Mainly to see Theo, I'll admit, but he's buried with Sofia. There's never any evidence of anyone else visiting.'

‘That's really sad.'

At that moment they were interrupted by someone else, and the endless round of introductions started again. At some point the sound of soft jazz music came over the lawn and Erin swayed on the spot. She'd always enjoyed dancing.

As another couple headed their way Ajax took her hand and said, ‘Want to dance?'

Erin said gratefully, ‘Yes, please—if it means we can avoid more meaningless conversations with people trying to impress you.'

But as soon as Ajax had taken her into his arms on the dance floor, where some other couples were moving in slow circles, she realised her mistake. She was pressed against Ajax, who was obviously taking full advantage of the situation.

She looked up at him and he smiled. It was wicked.

‘You were the one who wanted to dance.'

Erin tried to put some distance between them, but it was impossible. So she gave in and let her body do exactly what it wanted: cleave itself to Ajax's like a magnet. The thin material of her dress was no barrier to his body, sheathed in a black tuxedo. She swore she could feel every taut muscle and sinew... And then, when he moved a certain way, one muscle in particular.

She glared at him and he shrugged. ‘I can't help it. With other women I can control myself, but not with you.'

The fire in Erin sizzled, as much as she wished it wouldn't. He couldn't control himself around her...?

Almost accusingly, she hissed, ‘You said this chemistry would fade.'

‘That's been my experience with other women. But you have proved to be unique. It doesn't feel like it's fading to you, does it?'

She could feel the very tantalising evidence of his non-fading desire right now. She shook her head.

‘So why deny yourself?' he whispered in her ear, his mouth almost close enough to touch her skin.

Erin tingled all over. Her mind was beginning to get blurry, but she forced herself to stay focused. ‘Because, unlike you, I do have self-control.'

She smiled sweetly at him and saw his eyes flash.

This was a dangerous game they were playing, and she knew it. At that moment, though, she caught Andromeda's eye over Ajax's shoulder. She was dancing with her husband, and they couldn't have looked more stiff and unhappy.

She nodded her head slightly at Erin, acknowledging her, and Erin nodded back. But she shivered inwardly—not from desire, this time, but at the reminder of what lay ahead of her if she gave in to Ajax's version of a future for them. A sterile, sad life.

She looked away and forced ice into her veins.

‘What's wrong?' Ajax asked.

Erin shook her head. ‘Nothing—just someone walking over my grave.'

She somehow managed to get through the rest of the evening, staying as rigid as she could by Ajax's side. And then, mercifully, they were heading back to his parents' villa.

The helicopter landed at a far enough distance from the villa not to disturb Damia and Ashling, and they were driven to the house in two cars. Erin and Ajax in one, his parents in the other.

When they got out at the villa Andromeda was already there. She stopped Erin on the way in, when Ajax was already inside.

Andromeda looked at her and said, ‘You're in love with him, aren't you? I saw you dancing. I saw the way you looked at him.'

Erin tried to suck in a breath, but she couldn't. She shook her head, desperately negating the tight feeling in her chest and the pounding of her blood at such an audacious suggestion. ‘No, of course I'm not. I know what this is. We both do. It's not love.'

Andromeda smiled faintly, but it wasn't kind. It was sad. ‘I'm sure he's told you what it was like for him and his brother. I'd hate for you to get hurt. You seem like a nice woman, Erin. You deserve more.'

Andromeda walked away, leaving Erin reeling, her words revolving sickeningly in her head.

‘You're in love with him, aren't you?'

No. She wasn't. She couldn't be. To love a man like Ajax would be the worst form of self-harm. He'd already dumped her once. And while he was offering to spend his life with her, create a family, the offer wasn't born out of love. He might not dump her again, but he would gradually fade away—which would be worse than any kind of abandonment or outright rejection.

Even the prospect of loving Ajax and allowing him that much power to hurt her, as she'd only been hurt once before in her life—by her mother—made her feel dizzy.

‘Erin? Are you okay?'

Ajax. When she least wanted to see him. He was at her side, holding her elbow. He looked angry.

‘What did she say to you?'

‘N-nothing, honestly. I'm just tired—and hungry, I think. We didn't really eat.'

Ajax took her hand in his before she could stop him, and it was easier to just leave it there. He led her into the kitchen, silent at this hour of the night apart from the humming fridge.

He said, ‘Sit down,' and all but pushed her gently into a seat at the table.

Erin sat, and watched, bemused, as Ajax spent an inordinate amount of time opening and closing doors.

Eventually she said, ‘What are you looking for?'

He looked at her. ‘Eggs.'

She pointed to the pantry door. ‘Try in there.'

He did, and said, ‘Ah!' and came out with a tray of eggs, triumphant. Erin moved to stand up, but he put up a hand. ‘No, stay there. I'm making you something to eat.'

‘But you don't know how to cook.'

Ajax looked a little embarrassed, and Erin was gobsmacked to see him efficiently cracking eggs over a bowl.

Eventually he said, ‘Since that night when you were in my apartment...'

The second night they'd been together, when they'd skipped dinner and gone into his kitchen at midnight, looking for food. Ajax hadn't had a clue where anything was, but he'd managed to find a chicken salad and some bread. Erin had teased him about his lack of culinary skills.

Ajax continued, ‘Something you said stuck with me...about how could I be self-sufficient if I couldn't even boil an egg?'

Erin winced. Sometimes she was too straight. ‘I'm sorry... I didn't mean it as an insult.'

He looked at her over the bowl, where he was now whisking the eggs like a professional. ‘No, you did me a huge favour. I taught myself how to boil an egg and then I kept going. I make a mean omelette now. I can't say I've added too much to my repertoire, but I'm hoping to master a decent roast chicken at some point.'

‘The easiest thing in the world,' said Erin, trying to ignore the way her insides felt as if they were melting and somersaulting at the same time.

Ajax was now transferring the eggs to a warmed pan and adding in some things she couldn't see. But it smelled delicious. After a few minutes he came over and put a plate down in front of her. A perfectly fluffy omelette, garnished with fresh herbs and some bread.

She looked up at him, mouth agape. And then she shut it again. She was starving. She tasted the omelette and closed her eyes in appreciation.

Ajax poured wine into two glasses and put one down for her. He took another seat.

When she'd swallowed some more food and a sip of wine she said, ‘Not hungry?'

His eyes were hooded and the gleam in them was wicked. He said, ‘Oh, I am—but not for food.'

Erin refused to let him see how that affected her. Like a match to dry tinder. She was very conscious of her dress and the amount of skin she was showing. She forced herself to finish the omelette and eat some bread, even though her appetite had suddenly diminished.

She took another sip of wine and said, ‘That was delicious, thank you. I should go up now...check on Ashling.'

‘She's fine. I checked when I came in.'

Another tummy somersault. She ignored it. ‘I'm still going to bed.'

She stood up, the silk folds of her dress falling to the floor. She must look ridiculous. Ajax didn't stand up. He sat in a louche sprawl in the chair, his bow tie undone, jacket gone. Stubble on his jaw.

He said, ‘You know where I am, Erin.'

She refrained from saying anything and swept out of the kitchen with as much grace as she could muster, all but running to her bedroom as soon as she was out of his eyeline.

She got inside her room and kicked off her sandals, then went silently to the nursery. Her heart expanded when she saw Ashling asleep, lashes long on her cheeks. She pulled up the thin blanket and put her hand on her belly for a minute, feeling the rise and fall of her breath.

Once again she was struck by how protective she felt. She would never do anything to harm this child. In moments like this the betrayal of her mother was as acute as it had been almost twenty-five years ago. She would do anything to spare Ashling the same pain, and if that meant ensuring they kept Ajax at a distance then so be it.

The door to Damia's room was ajar. Erin took the spare baby monitor into her own room and changed into sleeping shorts and a singlet top, washed her face and got into bed.

But an hour later she was still lying there. Wide awake. Restless. Eventually she fell into a fitful sleep and a disturbing dream, in which she was at a party but was encased in ice and couldn't move. No one was looking at her. They couldn't see her. She was trying to grab their attention. And then Ajax was there, but not looking at her. He was with another woman. Erin was sobbing and calling out, begging for him to notice her—

And then she woke up, sitting straight up in bed, heart pounding, skin slick with perspiration. Still that awful icy cold lingered, reaching all the way into her heart.

She didn't think—she acted on instinct. She got out of bed and took the baby monitor with her. She left her room and walked down the corridor to Ajax's room, pushed open the door. He lay in a sprawl on the bed. Naked.

As she approached he woke up and came up on an elbow. His voice was rough. ‘Erin...?'

She put down the baby monitor and lifted her arms, taking off the singlet top. She pulled down the shorts and climbed into his bed beside him. He looked stunned. She might have appreciated it more if she hadn't had the overwhelming lingering dread of that dream in her blood.

He touched her jaw. ‘Am I dreaming?'

She shook her head. ‘No, I'm real. Make love to me, Ajax.'

There was no triumph in his gaze, just pure desire as he pulled her over him and speared his hands in her hair, drawing her face down to his so he could kiss her. She revelled in feeling his body under hers, so strong and warm. His heart beat against hers. Her breasts were crushed to his chest. She opened her legs and he moved her subtly, so she was lined up with where his body was hardening.

There was practically no sound apart from their laboured breathing as he joined their bodies with one thrust. Erin sat back, putting her hands on his chest as she rode him, moving up and down. Ajax put his hands on her hips, holding her as he pumped into her, making her gasp out loud.

The orgasm broke over Erin almost before she had time to register it was coming. Ajax flipped them over, so he was on top, and just before he came he pulled free of Erin's embrace, so she felt the hot warmth of his climax on her belly.

After a few long moments of letting the world come back to its centre, Ajax got up and picked Erin up from the bed as if she weighed no more than a bag of sugar and took her into the shower. Under the hot spray he washed her, and himself, then wrapped them both in towels and took her back to bed, where she finally fell into a dreamless sleep.

When Erin stole out of the bed the next morning, she resolutely refused to look at why she'd gravitated to Ajax so desperately the previous night. Without even thinking about it. Following an instinct she hadn't been able to ignore. For her survival.

She was still wearing the robe he'd put on her after the shower, and she picked up her night clothes and left his room. Back in her own room, after quickly checking Ashling, she had a shower and got dressed.

Ashling was just waking up, and Erin changed her and took her downstairs to give her some breakfast. She noticed that Ajax had washed the plate and pan from the previous night and left them drying on the sideboard. She almost wanted to curse him for being so...unexpected.

She took her and Ashling's breakfast out to the terrace and enjoyed the quiet before others emerged. She would put last night down to an urge to make the most of her chemistry with Ajax before it went away. He was right—why deny themselves? It was just sex.

But what about that dream?

Erin shut it down. The memory of how cold she'd felt was still vivid in the morning light. Of how she'd needed him.

Ashling was cranky, in spite of her good night's sleep, and Erin could see that her cheeks were red. She was teething.

After breakfast, Erin took Ashling down to the beach, to try and distract her, but she was soon working herself up into a state—she'd given her some medication, but it didn't seem to be working.

So Erin brought her back inside to try and find something else to alleviate the pain.

There was no sign of Ajax—which Erin was grateful for. She was sure he'd be mocking and arrogant after her spectacular capitulation last night.

Damia was on the terrace, and offered to take Ashling, but Erin said, ‘No, you have the day off. You were working until late and we'll be out again this evening.'

Erin took the baby upstairs. Ashling's wails were now reverberating all through the villa.

To her surprise, Andromeda appeared, holding a teething ring. She said, ‘It belonged to Theo. I kept it. Can I try?'

She held out her arms and Erin realised she meant to take Ashling.

Against her better instincts, Erin handed Ashling over, fully prepared for the little girl's wails to increase in crescendo, but to her shock the surprise of being in a stranger's arms silenced Ashling for a moment, and Andromeda put the teething ring against Ashling's lips. She latched on to it immediately, chewing down on it and holding it with both hands.

Andromeda was saying, ‘There, there...that's not so bad, now, is it?'

Erin just gaped at her.

Andromeda looked at her a little sheepishly. ‘I could never do this with Demetriou or Ajax. I wasn't encouraged to hold them.'

‘I... I heard,' Erin said faintly.

Andromeda jiggled Ashling up and down a little and walked with her out to the terrace. Then the tiny hairs went up on the back of Erin's neck.

Ajax.

She turned around, saw he was looking past her to his mother. ‘Is that...?'

Erin nodded. ‘I know... I can't believe it either.'

Then Ajax looked at her. ‘You left my bed again.'

Erin pushed aside the way he made her feel...confused and excited and scared all at once.

His expression was stark. He opened his mouth to speak again, but his mother came back with a now much more peaceful Ashling. She handed her to Erin and said, ‘I'd like to see her sometimes, if that's possible... I mean, after this is over.'

‘Of course,' Erin said, trying to hide her shock, ‘you're her grandmother.'

The older woman touched the baby's cheek and then looked at Ajax. With a suspicious brightness in her eyes she said, ‘I'm sorry that I wasn't able to be there for you and your brother in a more meaningful way. I wanted to be... But...' She shook her head and left the small room quickly, before Ajax could respond.

He looked at Erin, stunned. ‘Did you see that?'

Erin nodded. She felt a little sad. ‘I think she's realising, since losing your brother and your nephew, that maybe she's been given a second chance. It's a good thing, Ajax.'

‘If she means what she says,' he said tautly.

Erin appreciated the irony that Ajax now felt the same fears she had regarding him.

‘Maybe you should go and talk to your mother. I'm going to try and put Ashling down for a nap, or else she'll be crabby for Damia later.'

Ajax said, ‘Last night—'

She cut him off. ‘It was just sex, Ajax. Nothing more. I agree—we need to let this run its course.'

He looked at her for a long moment and then said, ‘This conversation isn't over.'

He left the nursery.

Hours later, Ajax waited for Erin in the hall. He felt restless and irritable. She'd managed to successfully avoid him all day—taking Ashling on an excursion to the village, according to Damia.

He would have gone after her, but his mother had waylaid him and said, ‘Don't do what we did, Ajax, live half-lives. You deserve more, and you can have that with Erin. I've seen the way she looks at you...'

Ajax still couldn't understand what his mother meant. Erin only ever looked at him warily, or with barely concealed amusement. Like when he'd been exhibiting his pathetic range of culinary skills last night. Culinary skills inspired by her, even though he'd let her go.

Erin's voice came back to him. ‘You dumped me.' He winced. He had dumped her—unceremoniously. Because she'd got too close.

‘I've seen the way she looks at you.'

Ajax shook his head at himself. His mother was obviously going through some sort of life crisis and was seeing things all over the place.

Erin wanted him at a distance, but she would kill him in the process if last night was anything to go by.

A question formed in his head. If Erin had got too close for comfort before, then where was she now? After all, he'd been prepared to make a lifetime commitment to her. Obviously both being aware that it would be based on companionability and chemistry. Nothing more.

‘You deserve more.'

But he didn't want more. He didn't want to risk that awful devastation all over again. The loss of someone he—

He heard a sound and turned to see Erin at the top of the stairs. And in that moment—in a heartbeat—he knew that it was all too late.

He'd been fooling himself...living in denial. The one thing he'd promised would never happen again had crept up on him and happened before he could stop it, and he realised now that it had happened even before that second night with Erin.

It was the reason he hadn't slept with anyone else.

It was the reason it had taken him so long to go after her.

Because he'd known. Deep down.

Erin looked worried. ‘Is the dress okay? It's too short, isn't it? Maybe it's meant to be evening-length, but you did say cocktail.'

Ajax barely took in the dress—it fell to mid-calf and it was strapless and figure-hugging. Not that he needed a reminder of Erin's figure. All he had to do was close his eyes and he was there, under her, as she slid on top of him.

‘It's fine. You look amazing... We should go.'

She still looked a bit concerned, but she came down the stairs towards him and panic rose up, making his skin feel tight. He swallowed it down. When Erin got to him her scent tickled his nostrils. Fresh and light. Nothing complicated. Like her. Straight. When what he was feeling right now was anything but straight. It was a maelstrom.

She frowned. ‘What is it? You're looking at me like I've done something wrong.'

She had—and she had no idea. She'd upended Ajax's world and it would never be the same again. She'd made a mockery of his notion that he could control everything. That he could protect himself.

But now was not the time or the place to spill his guts.

He lied through his teeth. ‘Nothing is wrong. We should go.'

That evening's event was on yet another nearby island—an open-air art exhibition of some of the world's most famous modern artists. All of Ajax's family were there again, but there were other people too, and it was nice to have a sense of the normal world around her. People laughing and chatting.

Erin was delighted to see Leo and Angel Parnassus, and only too happy to let Angel spirit her away from Ajax temporarily. He was in a funny mood. She kept catching him looking at her as if she was someone he didn't know. Suspicious. Accusing.

But if it kept some sort of distance between them then she welcomed it. Because increasingly around him she felt as if she was losing sight of what was important. To keep herself and Ashling safe from harm. From betrayal. From being rejected. Dumped again.

So how does that explain how you gravitated into his bed like a wanton last night?

Erin ignored that and let Angel distract her. She was telling her how this whole social scene was a circuit, which happened every summer for members of Greek's high society, when they decamped from humid Athens to their various island boltholes and then spent a couple of months island-hopping on planes, helicopters or yachts.

It made Erin's mind boggle...the sheer wealth.

Leo and Ajax joined them, and Ajax put an arm around Erin's waist. She tried to stiffen against the inevitable urge to relax into him, but once again it was easier just to...cleave.

Ajax's parents hadn't come with them to this event. Andromeda had actually said that she would help Damia with Ashling. So when they got back to the villa that night it was just them, and a silent villa.

Wordlessly, Erin read Ajax's intent. He took her hand and waited for her to take off her shoes, then led her upstairs to her room. They both went in and checked on Ashling, who was asleep.

Erin was torn between wanting an excuse not to go where they were inevitably headed, and wanting to drag all of Ajax's clothes off him there and then.

He led her out, down to his room. He shut the door behind them and Erin stood with her back to it. He put his hands either side of her head and just looked at her.

Erin said, ‘What is it? You've been glaring at me all evening.'

Ajax shook his head. He fingers traced her jaw, his touch gentle, belying the fierceness of his expression.

He said, ‘You. You're killing me. I—'

Erin reached up and put her hands on his face, touching her mouth to his, cutting off his words, as if she knew he was going to say something she didn't want to hear.

She broke away after a long moment and said, ‘No words. We don't need to talk.'

Ajax was mocking. ‘I forgot...this is just sex.'

Erin nodded as she pushed Ajax's jacket off his shoulders to the floor, then tackled his bow tie and shirt. ‘Yes, it's just sex.'

For the next couple of hours it was just sex—and Erin pushed away every internal voice or twinge of conscience and tried to convince herself of that.