Chapter 33

33

A manda

A Week Later

As EJ lay against me, I caressed his head. He’d fallen asleep, reminding me of the days when he was a little baby. He was getting so tall now, and I finally felt like those mothers who said their child would always be their baby.

Since Elias and Fiona broke up and Ryan left, we’d been spending more time together as a family. For us both, I think it was healing parts of our hearts that were in desperate need of love and acceptance. It was his week to have EJ, but he told me to pack a bag and come too. I didn’t mind since the only thing I planned on doing was finishing a few lessons for the coaching program I’d started. I loved that it was something I’d not only be able to use to help women but the girls on my dance team too. The year was nearing its end, which meant I’d be back with my girls in March.

At the sound of Elias’s low rumble of laughter, I looked up. His head shook at the sight of EJ. Instead of waking him up and telling him to go get in bed, Elias picked him up and carried him to his room.

When Elias returned, he sat next to me on the couch, taking his son’s place. It made me chuckle because they were so much alike, and I ended up rubbing his head the same way.

“You look beautiful,” he said, catching me off guard. “I like this studious look on you. Passion on you. Purpose on you. Is there anything I can do to help? You said you wanted me to be your mentor, but you haven’t really given me an in. Is that intentional?”

That was true. I meant it when I’d asked him for help, but it was hard for me to actually take it. We were great partners with EJ, and I allowed him to do whatever he wanted for me when it came to raising our son, but when it involved anything else, my independence took over. I set the papers on the coffee table, and we turned slightly to face each other. As soon as I looked at him, he smiled, and that made me blush. I wasn’t sure what it was about men and women with glasses and buns, but the attraction was insane.

“Do I need to take these off so you can pay attention to what I say?” I teased.

“You take them glasses off and it’s gon’ be a problem.”

I covered my face for a moment as I sniggled and composed myself. Elias had always been attracted to me, but it was different when it went beyond my body and sex. When he expressed attraction or even appreciation for my mind, heart, dreams, or character, it hit me in a different place.

“I meant it when I asked you to be my mentor and coach, but you know I’m hyper-independent. It’s hard for me to actually let you in to help, even though I want to.”

“I can take the initiative if you’re going to be able to receive my help.”

The way he worded that made me really pause and consider his words before I answered.

“I believe I can. I want this endeavor to be successful, and with you involved, I know it will be.”

“First…give yourself credit. I know I used to joke with you about it, but you had goals when you were stripping, and you came up with a plan to execute them. You didn’t want to do that forever, so you came up with your target audience and the clientele you would need to reach your financial goal. It’s the literal same thing as that. All you need is a blueprint, and there’s no doubt in my mind that you will succeed.”

“Thank you.” My tone was modest, but I truly appreciated his words. I told him a bit more about my plans, which led to him saying…

“Aight, so from the sound of it, we need to come up with a business plan. You already have a rough mission statement and target audience, but we’ll need to define both. After that, we can come up with actionable steps that will help you meet your goals. I think the first thing you need to put on the top of that list is getting an assistant and social media manager. You’ll have a lot on your plate, and time management will be essential.”

I nodded my agreement as I wrote down everything he said.

“What did you plan on doing with the studio?”

“I want to keep it until I have a bigger building. Ideally, I want something with several rooms so I can have classes and events there. I was also thinking about keeping a room empty that can be rented for events and dance classes that other people wanted to host.”

“That’s a good idea. You know my broker license is still active, so I can help you find a building.”

“That would be great. I was thinking about going to the Tate brothers in Memphis for the loan. That was actually why I went to Memphis a while back.”

The twisted-up expression he gave me made me laugh.

“The fuck you need a loan for?”

“I got money, but I can’t afford to get a building. Plus, I don’t want to use my own money for any of this.”

“Nor do I expect you to. I’m going to invest in you and give you the money.”

My head and heart dropped immediately. When I came up with the idea for him to help me, I wasn’t including financially. This was my dream, and I wanted to do as much of it as I could myself. I wasn’t a fool though. I knew there was only so much I could do, especially with my baby, my team, and going back to school. If I burned myself out too much, I wouldn’t be able to truly enjoy the journey to my dream destination.

“Elias, I never meant for you to fund any of this.”

“Can we have a sidebar on why it’s so hard for you to take money from me unless it’s for EJ, your house, or dancing?”

With a sigh, I nodded as I twiddled my thumbs. “I was raised to see money as control unless it was earned. Mama used to always say, regardless of how much money a man made, I needed to always have my own. She said men were stingy and used money as control. I never wanted to be in a situation where a man felt I owed him or would stay with him longer than I needed to because of the money he gave me.

“When I would randomly dance for you and you gave me money, I was cool with that because I earned it. And EJ is just as much your responsibility as mine. But just randomly giving me money for the hell of it?” My head shook. “I’ve never felt comfortable with that.”

The low scoff he released turned into a hum. “The damage your mama did to you.” His hand wrapped around my neck, and he used it to pull me close. After kissing my forehead three times, he released me. “First, I would never use money to control you. Money to me is a resource. I use it to get what I need and what those I love or care about need. Hell, anyone in need. When it comes to you, you’re like a gift from God to me. That makes you my responsibility. So just like you expect me to take care of EJ, I need you to expect me to take care of you too.

“As a man, it’s truly my pleasure and nature to provide for you. The more I can do for you, the better I can treat you, the better I feel about myself. So, if you want to look at it as you helping me out, do that, but please…let me care for you.”

“You know I’ve taken care of myself since I was eighteen,” I muttered, catching a tear before it could fall.

“And I know you have to be tired too. Let me take some of that weight off your shoulders, Mandy. Let me take care of you.”

That only made me cry harder as I nodded. Elias pulled me into his arms, giving me the care and comfort my tired soul needed. Yes, I had no problem being independent and taking care of myself. That was safe, because I knew if I couldn’t depend on anyone else—I could always take care of myself. But I couldn’t lie and say Elias hadn’t been a formidable, trustworthy, dependable staple in my life since he bombarded his way into it. I also couldn’t lie and say it didn’t feel good to have him offer to take care of me. I was going to try my very hardest to let him do just that.