Chapter 24

24

A manda

“Okay, wait.” Felicity chuckled and took a sip of her margarita. “You’re telling me his crazy ass actually went out to his car to get a gun?”

“Girl, yes.” Though I could laugh about it now, I was pissed when it happened. “Demarcus dumb ass ran clean out the studio. I can’t stand him, man. He begged me for a dance since I retired, saved for all these years, paid me more than his car was worth, just to dip behind Elias.”

“Man, say. Demarcus said he wanted to see you dance, not the devil. Ain’t no pussy poppin’ on a handstand worth his life.”

We cackled like two old hens. My eyes watered as I lifted my glass and took a sip of my lemonade. I definitely needed this laugh. What happened with Elias left me all discombobulated. I wanted to be upset with him for the way he showed his ass. More than that, I was hurt over his hurt and turned the hell on. If he wasn’t in a relationship, I would have tried to suck the skin off his dick.

As if we’d talked him up, Elias called me. I started not to answer, but he would just call again.

“Hold on, cuz. This him.” I ignored her telling me to put him on speaker as I answered. “Yes, Elias?”

“I apologize.”

I wasn’t expecting that, so it took me a while to respond as I smiled. “For?”

He huffed like a child. “You know what the fuck for, Mandy.”

“I want to hear you say it.”

I sniggled and he groaned. “You about to make me change my mind.”

That made me laugh harder. “Elias…”

“I’m sorry for blowing up your spot and threatening to shoot your little friend. Even though I meant what I said, my delivery was aggressive. For that, I apologize.”

“Thank you, baby. Now when did your girl want to meet EJ?”

Elias sighed into the receiver. “Soon, but I’on know, to be honest.”

Sitting up in my seat, my expression turned serious. “Are you guys having issues already?”

“Nah, it’s not that.” He paused for a beat, and I hung on to the silence. “It’s just…something feels…off. Not even with us. Just her specifically. I feel like she’s holding something back, and she’s using meeting the family to cover it up.”

“Hmm…I don’t know, E. Why don’t you just ask her about it straight up?”

“Because I could just be paranoid, you know? I haven’t been in a healthy relationship in—” It was like he realized what he was saying and who he was saying it to.

“If you’re doubting her because of me—”

“Amanda, stop. That’s…not what I meant. I just meant that I can tell when a woman is hiding something from me, and she is. Until I find out, I don’t think I want her to meet EJ just yet. I was hoping you’d say no so I could use you as an excuse.”

I laughed. “Why would I say no? I told you she’s cool. As long as you trust her around our son, I don’t mind her meeting him at all. I do get where you’re coming from though. Until you feel secure and that you can trust her fully, don’t let her pressure you into that. That’s a big step, E.”

He released a hard breath. “Yeah, it is. I think that’s a part of it too. When they meet, this will really be official.”

“Are you ready for that?”

I held my breath, waiting for him to respond. “No…I’m not. She’s meeting Mama and Pops this weekend, and I’m more than okay with that, but EJ? That’s…He’s me and you.”

My eyes watered as I looked down into my lap. “He is,” I mumbled. “But…we can share him with other people too. We have to. Right? That’s…How else are you going to have that family you want?”

“This is crazy, Mandy. I was supposed to be with you.”

“You could’ve been.”

“How? The fuck you wanted me to do? Hold together pieces of you because I couldn’t have all of you? What was I supposed to do with that?”

“I tried to give you all of me!” I seethed quietly, standing from my seat. “You didn’t want it.”

“Want what? The trauma and pain that has had you closed off to everything I’ve been trying to give you for over a decade?”

“I’m not that woman anymore, Elias.”

His laugh infuriated me. “How am I supposed to know that? It’s my fault you haven’t shown me anything new?”

“No, but it is your fault for making me feel like I didn’t have a reason to. There’s so many layers to me and so much I’ve wanted to share with you but I…”

“You what?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore. I have to go.”

“Mandy, what the fu—”

After disconnecting the call, I temporarily turned his notifications off. My head shook as I stared into the distance.

“You wanna talk about it?” Felicity asked softly.

My head shook again. “After all these years, things are finally going to shit between us. I don’t know if we’ll be able to make it through this, cuz. I’m trying to do the right thing and be happy that he’s moving on but…” The tears started to fall, and I wiped them away. “I love him. I don’t want to let him go.”

Felicity scooted her chair over to mine. “If you want him,” she took my hand into hers, “have him.”

“He’s with—”

“That don’t matter. It’s not going to last. Focus on yourself and your son. Love on you so much that he’ll drown in the overflow when he comes back to you. Because he’s going to come back to you, and when he does, you need to be ready…”