Chapter 23

23

E lias

Fiona and I were engaged in a deep stare down. Us fucking in Vegas led to her coming to my place, but I still wasn’t ready for her to meet my son. I was cool with her meeting my parents, but EJ was a different story. While I was cool with him seeing me love a woman and be in a healthy relationship, there was something about Fiona that made me want to take my time. Maybe it was the fact that I’d yet to talk to Declan about us. Whatever it was, I was hesitant to move too fast with her.

Shit, it could have been because of how fast I moved with Amanda that had me cautious. Amanda. I hoped she was well. We’d only been talking about EJ, and as weird as that was, I let it be. I was grateful that we could still have him as our priority and get along well for him, but I missed my girl. I missed being able to talk and joke with her, party with her, lay up with her. I just missed her . Regardless of how good things were with Fiona, I missed Mandy.

I kept telling myself missing her didn’t mean I had to have her. Loving her didn’t mean I had to have her. She was my drug. It was for the best if I avoided her like an alcoholic avoided the damn liquor store. Self-control meant not walking by the store. Self-disciple meant being in the store and not taking a bottle and having a sip. I had the self-control to stay away from Amanda, but honestly, I didn’t know if I had the discipline not to touch her just yet.

“Are we just going to sit here looking at each other, or are we going to come to an agreement?” I asked.

“I’m more than willing to come to an agreement, babe. I don’t think asking to meet your family is a big deal. It would make me feel better about the direction this relationship is going in.”

“I’m cool with you meeting my parents, but I’m more cautious about my son. I also need to talk to Mandy about it first. Plus, you haven’t made any plans to introduce me to your family as your man. I feel like you’re putting pressure on me to connect you with my people, but you’re keeping me away from yours.”

With a sigh, she sat up in her seat. “Family is important to both of us, but I would feel more comfortable telling my parents about us after I meet yours and your son. That’s a big step. If things don’t work out with that, nothing else will matter.” She paused and nibbled her bottom lip. “I guess I’m anxious to meet your son because I want to start building a relationship with him. If he’s going to be my stepson one day, I want to make sure we get along. If I present you to my parents as my man and then your family doesn’t like me or your son doesn’t want to be around me, then what?”

I understood where she was coming from. Kids were often a great judge of character. They could be manipulated for sure, but first impressions never lied. If EJ didn’t like her, with him being the age he was, we wouldn’t be together. It would be different if he was an adult and out of my house, but until then, I had to be mindful of what I did around him and who I brought around him.

“Come here, Fi.”

She walked around my desk and sat on my lap.

“Yes?”

“I don’t want you worried about what anyone thinks about us. Shit, we could wait several months before we do the whole family thing. I’m only doing this now because you want to. As far as I’m concerned, we can keep our focus on us.” Gripping her thigh, I told her, “I’ll talk to Mandy about you meeting EJ. In the meantime, you can come to dinner with me and meet my parents this weekend since EJ will be with Mandy’s parents.”

“Okay.” She gushed and played with my beard. “I like the sound of that.”

“Good.” After kissing her neck, I patted her thigh and she stood, then went back out to her desk. I decided to FaceTime Amanda and see where she was at. When she didn’t answer, I pulled up the cameras at her studio to see if she was there. The shit I saw had me popping up out of my seat expeditiously.

The nerve of her ass to have another nigga there dancing in that shit. I didn’t know how I made it to her studio without burning the rubber off my tires, but I barely got the car in park good before I hopped out and charged toward the door. In broad fucking daylight, in the front of the studio, her ass had her leg lifted while she twerked in his face. The nigga wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her pussy, and I damn near broke the motherfucking door off the hinges beating on it.

Her face frowned as she walked over to the door. She called herself keeping me from coming inside, but I shoved my way through anyway.

“Aye, what the fuck is you doing?” I asked, looking from her to him.

“What do you mean? What does it look like? And what are you even doing here?”

Chuckling, I massaged my temples. “You ignoring my calls so you can dance for this nigga? Who the fuck is he anyway?”

“I’m not sure what that has to do with you. Is something wrong with my son? Otherwise, you need to leave.”

“Oh, so it’s like that?”

“ Just like that. Goodbye, Elias.”

I ran my tongue across my teeth before I eyed the nigga she was dancing for. “This your new man?”

“So what if it is?” she asked, putting her hands on her hips.

“I told you he’d better be ready to die about that pussy, didn’t I?”

“Oh God.” She groaned. “You cannot be serious right now. I’m trying to understand why the hell you’re so upset.”

“Quite frankly, I am too.”

We stared at each other for a while before we laughed. I needed the relief. I felt my damn veins popping out of my neck and forehead. Had that man said some shit, I honestly would’ve popped him, so I was glad he sat there and remained silent.

“I’m sorry, Mandy. When you didn’t answer the phone, I checked the camera to see if you were here and saw you on him. That shit triggered me and made me mad as fuck clearly. The thought of you dancing for another man the way you used to do for me…”

Her hand slipped down my chest and voice softened as she said, “Imagine how you’re going to feel thinking about me fucking him and finally getting the love and position in a man’s life that I deserve. You wanted Fiona and now you have her. Let me move on and give my time and attention to someone else.”

“You got me fucked up.”

“Nah, you got me fucked up. I don’t deserve to move on too?”

“With this nigga?” I pointed toward him. “He ain’t bothered to get up and defend you. This the man you expect me to let you replace me with?”

“It doesn’t matter what you think or how you feel, Elias. He and I are not together, but if we were, that’s my business. Now what were you looking for me for?”

Sucking my teeth, I headed toward the door. “It don’t even matter right now. Get this nigga out the studio by the time I get my Glock. If he still in here, I’ma show you just how serious I am.”

“Eli—are you—what the hell!”

Ignoring her, I went to my car. Was it crazy for me to want to kill this man because he’d smelled her pussy and touched her ass? Yes. Did I give a fuck? No. Did this shit seem toxic? Yes. Was I going to let her move on with a nigga while I still had breath in my body? Hell the fuck no.

By the time I closed the door of my car, her friend was jogging toward his. I couldn’t help but laugh and shake my head as I headed back inside the studio. Her hardened expression as she paced with her arms crossed over her chest was cute.

“You see how fast he ran out of here, Amanda? He didn’t deserve you. You need a man that’s willing to fight or die behind you. It ain’t him.”

Her hands slid down her face as she chuckled. “What do you want, Elias?” She enunciated each word like I was getting on her nerves or some shit.

“Fiona would like to meet EJ. You can be present. When would you be comfortable with that happening?”

“So let me get this straight.” She snickered and licked the corner of her mouth. “I can’t even dance for another man, yet you’ve moved on and want my baby to meet your girl?”

I shrugged. “If you find the right man for you, I have no problem approving of your relationship with him.”

“What kind of sense does that make!” she yelled, shoving me.

“You think I’m about to just let you be with any weak ass nigga?” I seethed, gripping her neck and pulling her into my chest. “You didn’t choose me. I’m assuming it was for a damn good reason. So yeah. The man you give yourself to gon’ have to come hard. I’m not about to let you make me question what it was about me that wasn’t worthy of your commitment while you give it to a nigga that’s beneath me.”

My body softened toward hers as realization covered her face. It was the first time I’d ever vocalized that to her or myself. That was the truth. I needed the man she settled down with to be ten times better than me, or my ego wouldn’t be able to handle it.

“I get it,” she whispered.

“Do you?”

Nodding, she wrapped her hand around my waist. “Yes.”

“Do better, Mandy.”

“I will.” The lowered eyes…her heaving chest…parted lips—she was aroused. This was turning her on. Releasing her, I took a step back. I wiped my forehead with the hand my Glock was in as I looked around her studio. I opened my mouth to speak, but I left instead.