Chapter 19

19

A manda

As I paced, my doorbell rang. I wasn’t expecting anyone, so I hesitantly made my way to the door. With the headspace I was in, I wasn’t in the mood for any random visits. When I saw Elias standing on the other side of the door, I almost cried. I hated the way things ended between us. It was hard for me to process what I felt, regardless of how hard I’d tried to prepare for that moment.

“I don’t want things to end that way, Mandy,” he said quietly, and I couldn’t ignore the sadness in his eyes or tone.

Nodding my agreement, I opened the door wider so he could come in. “Me either. I’m sorry for the way I exploded. It just…felt like someone was taking something from me. It felt like a violation. So I got upset. But I didn’t mean to blow up on you like that.”

After locking the door, we went to the living room.

“How can I make this right?” he asked as we sat on the couch.

“There’s nothing to make right, E. You’re doing what’s best for you, and I wouldn’t dare stand in the way of that. Like I said, it felt like a violation, but that was a me thing. I’m good now. Even better since you came over. I want us to end this on good terms. We deserve that, and our son does too.”

I watched his body relax as he smiled. Elias took my hand into his and kissed it.

“If I would have known the last time was the last time, I would have made love to you like it was the last time.”

“You still can,” I almost whispered, pulling him closer.

“That pussy still mine?”

“Just one last time.”

He smiled before kissing me—deeply. Passionately. Tenderly.

“I want you to know it was never just about sex, Mandy. I took it because it was all you offered me. I would have just as actively pursued your heart if you would have made it available to me. You know that, right?”

There was an urgency in his voice and a need in his eyes for me to agree. So much so that even if I didn’t, I would have. But I knew that was the truth. Sex was all there had been between us for a while because that was the way I’d designed things from the beginning. That was why I couldn’t be upset over the turn of events.

“I know, bookie.” Cupping his cheek, I gave him a soft kiss. His lips returned to mine for a deeper one. One that led to him picking me up and carrying me to my room.

We wasted no time ripping off each other’s clothing. As he tossed me onto my bed, he told me, “I’m cumming in every hole you got tonight.”

“Look at you trying to mark what’s no longer your territory.”

A part of me yearned for him to say I’d always be his like he used to do. Instead, our smiles slowly fell, and his eyes saddened before he kissed me.

Elias took his time devouring every inch of me. From my head to my toes, he left no part of me untouched, unlicked, or unkissed. By the time he returned to my pussy, it was soaking wet. I held my legs wide as he sucked my pierced clit. His hands went from my nipples to my neck, squeezing with just the right amount of pressure as he licked me.

I didn’t even have it in me to talk any shit. Honestly, I couldn’t. Every time my lips parted, it was to moan, curse, or ask for more. Each time his tongue swiped against my asshole as he stroked my clit and walls, I hummed. It wasn’t long before I was cumming all over his beard. My orgasm didn’t stop him. It only made him work harder to make me cum again…and again…and again.

Pushing him away, I got on unsteady knees so I could make him feel just as good as he’d made me feel. My mouth literally watered in anticipation of having him inside it for the last time. I needed my throat to be utterly boneless to make sure he never forgot how easy it was for me to snatch every drop of his cum.

“Mm,” he moaned, gripping my hair and winding his hips to fuck my mouth. Our eyes locked as mine watered. Working my wrists, I alternated between palming his shaft and balls. His stomach clenched and head tilted as he moaned my name. When I felt him throb, I sped up slightly and tightened the suction. “Mhm. You ’bout to make me cum, bae.” The shaky breath he released before moaning made me leak. I gripped his hips and widened my mouth, ready for his load. “Fuuuck.” His body jerked as he came. I tapped his dick against my tongue, emptying him completely before swallowing him whole. “Suck that dick with your nasty ass.”

I laughed, but it turned into a moan as I swallowed his seeds and sucked his still hard dick. He cursed and gripped my cheeks, trying to pull out of me.

“Aight, Mandy. Shit!”

I released him as a confident smile spread my lips. As I wiped the slob that had dripped down my chin, I patted my pussy for him to come inside.

The Next Morning

I was sore in the best way when I woke up. True to his word, Elias came in every one of my holes. We fucked in every position possible and didn’t stop until well into the morning. The moment was bittersweet. Even though I would miss this type of intimacy with him, I was genuinely happy he was moving on. I knew how important it was for him to extend his family, so I hoped he got what he wanted.

At my door, it felt like déjà vu. Neither of us wanted him to leave, but we both knew he had to.

“Are you okay?” he asked quietly. “Are we okay?”

Taking his hand into mine, I smiled softly. “I am, and we are.”

“That shit you said at your studio…about not being worthy and all that.”

“We don’t have to go there. I’d actually prefer not to.”

“If your mama ever made you feel like I didn’t really want to be with you, that means I didn’t do a good enough job proving otherwise.”

There went the tears again, but I wasn’t going to let them fall. “It wasn’t you, E. It was me and my fucked-up conversations with her. My mentality…But it’s fine. Really.”

I could tell by the way he looked at me that he didn’t want to let it go, but he accepted defeat.

“I wish we would have had this conversation sooner. I would have helped you learn how to be in a healthy relationship with me. I love you, Amanda.”

“I love you too. You deserve everything you desire, and I really am happy for you.”

Clenching his jaw, his head bobbed once. “Would’ve been perfect if it came from you, but I think she’s probably the closest version of a happily ever after I can get, you know?”

Nodding, I blinked away tears. “Go and um…love and be loved, okay? With no regrets and no restrictions. Give it your all, E.”

He looked over my head and used the back of my neck to pull me into his chest. We held each other for a while before he gave me a kiss that lingered on my forehead for what felt like forever.

“Bye, Mandy.”

I didn’t respond, afraid my voice would break. Instead, I opened the door and looked down as he walked out of it. As soon as he closed the door, I slid down the wall and sobbed. This shit was harder than I thought it would be.