Chapter Twenty-Seven

"Jesus fucking Christ," Finn whispers beside me, his gaze locked on the house burning half a block up the street.

Fire engines and police cars line the block, parked haphazardly wherever they found space. Hoses and equipment are stretched and scattered all over the place, with firefighters in full gear scrambling to try to contain the blaze. The few neighbors who are home mill around in their driveways in groups, gawking at the sight of my townhouse burning to the ground.

I don"t give a fuck about the house.

"Mila!" I roar, slamming the truck into park and throwing myself out of the driver"s door with the truck still running. My feet hit the concrete hard as I race toward the house. Black smoke and flames billow out, making it hard to breathe. Even from this distance, the intensity of the heat rolling from the fire sears me.

My heart lodges in my throat, terror clawing like razorblades through me as I race down the street, weaving through the fire engines and police cruisers. Several different people shout and run after me, but I pretend not to hear them. All I can think about is her.

Her and those gorgeous green eyes.

Her and that sweet little voice.

Her and the way she smiles at me like I"m the center of her world.

Her and the terror in her voice as she hid in the closet.

Her and the fucking silence on the line when we lost contact while she was still inside.

Please, God, tell me she made it out of there.

Up close, the nightmarish scene is even more horrific. The bottom floor of the townhouse is entirely engulfed in flames, and smoke billows from the top in massive black waves. Half the firefighters on scene work to keep the fire from spreading to neighboring homes. The other half aims their hoses at the townhouse, trying to beat back the flames. The fire burns so fucking hot I feel the heat scorching at my skin.

God, baby, please tell me you aren"t still in there.

A sob builds in my chest at the thought, breaking from my lips in a tortured groan. I push through the line of firefighters attacking the fire, elbowing my way between them.

I fucking promised to keep her safe.

Someone grabs me, rough hands grasping and holding me back as I try to duck underneath the tape stretched across the roadway. I fight, shoving them off me in an attempt to get inside to Mila.

"You can"t go in there, Gregory," Octavio Hernandez, an LAPD detective and close friend, yells in my ear.

I shake him off, flinging him away from me. He lands on his ass on the roadway with a shouted curse.

A ferocious snarl rips from my lips as another LAPD officer grabs for me, trying to contain me. I don"t know who he is or where the fuck he came from, and I don"t really care. I fling him off, too, and slam my elbow into his face. Bone crunches, blood splattering from his broken nose.

"Goddammit, Roman!" Finn shouts from behind me.

Someone else yells something, and then a foot hits the back of my thigh so hard it knocks me to the ground. I land on my knees, and spring back up in an instant, spinning toward the source of that kick.

Hernandez and two LAPD officers I don"t know back away from me with their hands in the air. The other is still on his ass, blood pouring from his broken nose.

"Settle down," Finn snaps, getting right up in my face, and I know he"s the one who kicked me.

"Do not fucking touch me again," I growl at him, taking an offensive stance. He"s damn near the same height I am, and has about sixty pounds on me. I will fucking kill him if that"s what it takes, but I actually respect him enough to know I"ll regret it if this comes to blows between us.

"Think, man," he says quietly. Sweat trickles down his bald head as he stares me down, not intimidated by the fury pumping through me.

Finn is a hard ass. Since the day I met him, he"s been one tough son of a bitch, willing to go toe-to-toe with anyone. He"s survived shootouts, stab wounds, and a hit from the Mafia. He doesn"t take any shit and isn"t scared of anything. That fearlessness isn"t what I see in his gaze as he stares at me, though. The only thing swirling through his brown eyes is sympathy and regret.

And that about brings me to my fucking knees.

"You can"t go in there," he says.

"She needs me," I growl, even though I know he"s right. I can"t fucking go in there.

She trusted me to protect her, to keep her safe, and I fucking failed her. If she"s in there…Fuck. If she"s in there, it"s already too late for her. She"s dead.

Oh God, Mila.

I drop to my knees as the thought breaks me wide open. A strangled sob rips from my lips. My stomach twists and heaves.

I lean forward and vomit right there as pain like I"ve never felt before tears through me, eviscerating me. It"s torture, shredding me apart cell by cell. Every little bit of air in my lungs expels in a rush. My heart fractures, cracking in half.

She trusted me, and I didn"t keep her safe.

Her name erupts from my lips in a broken groan, so fucking loud, it hurts to hear it.

"Shit," Finn curses, and then he"s on his knees beside me, his hand on my shoulder as I fall apart.

One of the other officers standing around says something to him, but I don"t hear him. I don"t hear much of anything. Don"t feel anything but pain. Mila"s name echoes through my head over and over, each recitation decimating another piece of me. Her smile plays through my mind, ripping through me like a wrecking ball.

"Roman," Finn says, his fingers digging into my shoulder. His voice sounds far away, distorted.

I turn my head in his direction, staring blankly.

His mouth moves, but no sound comes out.

And then I hear it.

Her.

"Roman," she whispers, her voice shaking.

My mind spins, trying to make sense of the fact that her voice whispers my name when her body is somewhere inside the house still burning in front of me.

Finn says something else, but I don"t hear that either.

"Roman."

I flick my gaze upward, over Finn"s shoulder.

Mila stands behind him, tears running down her face, leaving streaks in the grime smeared across her cheeks. Soot clings to her hair and clothing. There"s a bandage wrapped around one arm, and someone has draped a blanket across her shoulders. Her green eyes are wide and full of pain, her bottom lip quivering.

"Mila," I whisper her name, fucking terrified that she"s not really standing there, and I"m just imagining her. Terrified that she"s burning up in the house, and I"m too fucking late. Terrified that this is some new hell, conjured up by my mind to punish me for not keeping her safe.

"Roman," she cries and flings herself at my chest.

Her little body hits me hard, knocking me on my ass. Without conscious thought, I catch her, wrapping my arms around her so tightly, I"m crushing her to my chest…fucking terrified she"ll turn to mist and slip away.

She trembles and shakes in my arms, sobbing into my neck.

I bury my face in her hair and pull her closer, trying to crawl inside her. The stench of smoke and soot clings to her, the acrid smell burning my nose. Her familiar peaches scent lingers just below those harsher odors, though. That intoxicating scent hits my system like a shot of adrenaline, jarring me back into reality.

This isn"t a dream. It isn"t a figment of my imagination. She"s real, and she"s in my arms.

She"s safe.

"Mila," I whisper, and then I fucking break down and cry like a baby.

"Ihave to tell you something," she whispers hours later.

We"re in the emergency room, in a tiny fucking bed with sterile white sheets and plain white walls. Wires and monitors run all over the place, stuck to her chest and abdomen. She"s got a blood pressure cuff around one arm and a pulse oximeter on one finger.

She"s safe.

I"m wrapped around her like a blanket. I can"t stop touching her, can"t stop reminding myself that she"s here with me, and not still in that fucking house. Aside from a burn on her left arm and some coughing from smoke inhalation, she"s okay.

She"s safe.

The battle-axe of a nurse keeps glaring at me like I"m in her way as she checks Mila over, but I don"t care. I"m not moving away from her. It"s been three hours since she threw herself into my arms, and I haven"t let her go yet. I fucking can"t. I"m terrified if I do, she"ll disappear.

"What?" I whisper back, running my nose up and down against her throat, breathing her in. They let me put her in the shower a few minutes ago. The stench of smoke still clings to her, but it"s faint. She smells like soap now. It"s not that peaches scent that drives me crazy, but I think I love this one even more. Because it"s proof that she"s really here, safe in my arms.

She flicks her gaze up to the nurse messing with the monitor beside the bed, then to Dwayne Livingston, the LAPD officer stationed right inside the door to her room, and then back to me.

"Can you give us a minute?" I request, catching Livingston"s gaze.

He jerks his chin up in a nod and then asks the nurse to follow him out, his deep voice leaving no room for argument. The old lady huffs and glares at me anyway before stepping out, but I don"t give a shit if she"s mad at me or not. Aside from putting her in the shower, I haven"t been alone with Mila since I left for work almost twenty hours ago.

I need five minutes with her, and I know she needs it too.

She waits until Livingston pulls the door closed behind the nurse and then twists and turns in my arms until she"s facing me. One small hand slides through my hair and then down my face.

"I didn"t think I was ever going to see you again," she whispers, tears filling her eyes as she stares at me.

I press my forehead to hers, and exhale a shaky breath.

"I thought you were dead," I admit, my throat raw as I remember how that felt. When I was on my knees out there, believing she was still in that house, my soul tore in half. I will never forget that pain. Having her in my arms now does little to calm the rage that"s been boiling through me since the second she called me. I"m going to fucking kill Guerrero and the motherfuckers he sent.

Listening to her tell LAPD what she overheard inside the house, I wanted to kill Guerrero right then and there. Feeling the way her body trembled long after she"d given her statement…the only thing that"s kept me from going after them is her and the fear in her eyes anytime anyone but me tries to touch her.

As soon as she"s out of harm"s way, they"re mine. Even if I have to tear the entire fucking city apart to find them, I will.

I think Finn knows it too.

Livingston isn"t here to keep an eye on Mila. He"s here to give Finn a heads up in case I leave. My boss isn"t stupid. He knows damn well the only way he"s going to get Guerrero alive is to beat me to him.

I don"t give a fuck about the house. I can replace everything in it. But his people were planning to kidnap Mila. They damn near killed her when they set the house on fire with her inside.

Finn better pray to God he gets to them before I do.

"I need to tell you something," Mila whispers again, and then bites her lip, worry creeping through her gaze.

"What, baby? You can tell me anything." I run my hands up and down her back, trying to ease her mind and give her a little comfort. She"s been so fucking brave through this entire thing. I"m in awe of her and that strength of hers.

"I forgot to reset the alarm when I got home," she says.

"Fuck the alarm," I mumble. Even if she had set it, that wouldn"t have stopped them, and I don"t want her blaming herself. None of this is her fault. "They still would have burned the house down, baby. Things like alarms and deadbolts don"t stop people like Guerrero. They don"t–"

"That"s not my point. Listen," she says impatiently, pressing her fingers to my lips to silence me.

I bite my tongue and nod.

"I forgot to set the alarm because I was worried about something else." She fidgets above me, her gaze sliding away from mine and then back. She takes a deep breath and then exhales. "I"m late."

"For what?" I feel my eyes narrow and my lips turn down into a frown, not sure where the fuck she planned to go at almost nine o"clock at night on a Tuesday.

She swallows hard, her green eyes dancing away from mine and then back again like she"s afraid to meet my gaze. "I haven"t had a period since before you got to Santa Cruz, Roman," she whispers, her voice so soft, I barely hear her.

"You haven"t―" My breath leaves my lungs in a strangled rush as understanding dawns. She"s late for her period, and not just by a couple of days either. I"ve been inside her damn near every day for the last month straight.

Jesus Christ.

Every thought in my mind vanishes all at once, leaving me completely speechless.

She stares at me like she"s terrified I"m going to flip out.

Part of me wants to do exactly that. Not because I"m pissed at her or because I don"t want this or because she said anything wrong, but because she was minutes away from dying in a fire, and she may be carrying my baby.

My baby.

Jesus Christ, Mila may be pregnant with my baby.

A thousand different emotions roll through me simultaneously—fear, excitement, worry, awe. Hope. I slide my hand down her body, splaying it over her stomach, just imagining my baby growing inside her. As she worries her bottom lip and stares at me, I want her pregnant with my kid so fucking badly, I can taste it.

"You"re pregnant?" I whisper, my voice choked with a swell of emotion.

"I don"t know," she whispers back. "I bought a test, but they broke in before I could take it."

"Jesus," I mumble, trying to slide her off me to get to the call button so we can find out for sure.

"I was going to call you," she says in a rush. "I know Tahani"s mom didn"t tell you about Tahani, and I wanted you to be there with me when I took the test. I thought you"d want to be there. I wasn"t trying to hide it from you."

"Mila–"

"I"m on birth control," she blurts out. "But we haven"t ever used protection, and I was on antibiotics. The timing is right. I promise I was taking my pills."

"Mila, stop talking."

She snaps her mouth closed, tears filling her eyes.

Christ, she"s killing me.

I jerk her back into my arms and kiss her hard. She resists me for a brief moment and then kisses me back, wrapping her arms around my neck and clinging to me. I kiss her until she"s trembling in my arms, and then I pull back.

"I"m not mad," I tell her.

"Okay."

"But you need to pee in a cup, baby."

"Okay."

"I want babies with you."

"You do?" She blinks like she"s surprised, which makes me chuckle and kiss her again.

"Fuck yeah, sweetheart," I breathe against her lips. "The thought of you carrying my baby makes me so fucking hard." I buck my hips upward, letting her feel for herself the truth of my words. "But I need to get to that call button because you need to pee in a cup before I lose it. I need to know if you"re carrying my baby."

"It"s fast," she mumbles.

"I don"t give a fuck." I tilt her head back until her eyes meet mine. "I almost lost you today, Mila. The thought of never seeing you again, of never holding you again, destroyed me. I don"t give a fuck if it"s fast. I don"t give a fuck what anyone thinks. I told you that I want a future with you, and I meant it. I want as many babies with you as you"ll give me."

"We never talked about having kids. I didn"t know," she says, and I can"t help but smile because she sounds pissed off that I didn"t tell her I want kids with her. It"s fucking cute.

Shit. What if she doesn"t want my babies?

"Do you want kids?" I ask, unable to keep the growl from my voice at the thought of her not wanting children.

"Yes."

"Do you want my kids?" I clarify, narrowing my eyes. She better fucking want my kids because no one else is getting her pregnant. I will kill anyone who touches her.

"Yes," she whispers, smiling that sweet little smile that makes my heart race. Her hand slides through my hair again. "I was scared you wouldn"t want babies with me, and I"m still afraid that Tahani is going to be really mad, but if I am pregnant, I"ll be happy about it."

"Good," I grunt, pressing my lips to hers again. "No one else is getting you pregnant but me."

I kiss her again and then make her press the button to call the nurse.

The old bird rushes into the room before the damn thing even finishes beeping and glares at me again, which pisses me off. I know I"ve been a little overbearing since the ambulance brought Mila here, but goddamn. I"m not going to jump out of the fucking window and disappear into the night with her. I"m the one who demanded they bring her here to be checked out.

"She needs a pregnancy test," I tell the nurse.

She completely ignores me and looks at Mila.

"I need a pregnancy test," Mila repeats softly.

The nurse actually smiles at her, her eyes crinkling in the corners. "I believe they"re already running a blood test for you, dear. It"s a standard precaution." She goes back to messing with the monitor Mila"s hooked up to, pointedly ignoring me.

Mila curls up against my chest again, yawning.

"You should sleep, baby," I tell her when Livingston pokes his head into the room and looks at me. I nod to let him know it"s okay for him to come back in.

"What about Tahani?" Mila asks me a few moments later.

"What about her?"

"If I"m pregnant…" She looks up at me, her eyes wide and worried, and swallows hard.

I don"t know how Tahani will feel if Mila"s pregnant, but I"m not that worried about it. After almost losing Mila today, my future is crystal clear to me. This fucking silence with Tahani is ending, and I"m going to marry her best friend. My daughter has gotten all the time I"m going to give her, so she"s going to have to find a way to forgive me.

"If you"re pregnant, we"ll deal," I tell her firmly. "And so will Tahani."

She briefly worries her bottom lip between her teeth and then nods. "Okay," she whispers and settles against my chest again.

I"m not sure if she believes me or if she"s just too tired to worry about it right now, but I mean it. We"ll deal. Once shit is handled here, I will show up on Tahani"s doorstep if that"s what it takes. But one way or another, when I put a ring on Mila"s finger and give her my last name, Tahani"s going to be standing beside us.

I run my hands through Mila"s wet hair, only stopping when Livingston"s phone rings. I don"t even know where my phone is. It"s probably still in the truck where I dropped it after losing connection with Mila while she was still inside the house.

Livingston answers his cell, his gaze moving from the wall to me. He talks quietly to whoever is on the line for a minute and then holds the phone out toward me. "Finn," he mouths.

"Let me up, baby," I mumble to Mila.

She complies with a little grumble, allowing me to slide out from beneath her.

I hesitate as soon as I"m on my feet, not wanting to leave her side. Rationally, I know she"ll be just fine if I step outside for two minutes. But that doesn"t ease the thread of panic that runs through me at the thought of letting her out of my sight for even that long.

"She"ll be fine," the nurse says gruffly, the first nice thing she"s said to me since we"ve been here.

I look up to find her watching me with what might actually be sympathy in her eyes.

"Thanks," I mumble and then run my fingertip down Mila"s cheek. "I"ll be right outside, baby."

"Okay. I love you."

My eyes slide closed as those three little words wind through me. The sweet conviction in her voice cuts through the fear and panic battling inside me like nothing else. Despite everything she went through today, she still trusts me to keep her safe.

"Don"t let anyone near this door," I mutter to Livingston.

"I got you," he says and hands me his phone.

I step outside, turning back to see Mila talking quietly with the nurse. She looks so fucking small and pale in that bed with wires running all over the place. The scrubs we found for her make her look like a little kid playing dress up in clothes too big for her.

The rage I"ve been ignoring all afternoon to focus on her crawls up my throat, sinking claws into me.

"Tell me you found the son of a bitch," I say to Finn, striding a few steps down the hall. I stop with the door to her room still in plain sight. I know Livingston will kill anyone who tries to get through that door, but that"s not good enough for me. Not now. I"m not willing to gamble with her safety.

They came for her in broad daylight. Had she been at work like they expected, they would have taken her by force if necessary. And they made damn sure I was out of the way when they put their plan into motion. They had me miles away, dealing with the dead body they left in the street less than a block from ATF headquarters. The only reason she"s still breathing is because she was in that fucking house and had the sense to hide when she heard them break in.

"How is she?" Finn asks instead of answering me.

"Better than I am," I admit, running a hand down my face. I lean against the wall and sigh, watching as a nurse pushes an empty gurney down the far end of the hallway. I"m so fucking tired, I feel like I"m going to fall over. "I thought I lost her, Finn." The thought still twists like a knife in my chest, right through my heart. "She may be pregnant."

"Jesus," he mutters.

She got out of that house by herself, knowing she might be carrying my baby. I can"t even comprehend the strength that had to take. I"ve called her a warrior for a long time, but that"s never been truer than it was today. I"m so fucking proud of her, and so fucking in love with her, I don"t think it"s possible to fall any deeper. But I will. Because she"s Mila, and that"s just what she does to me. Without even trying, she"s been doing it for four fucking years.

"You need to get her out of town for a few days," Finn says.

"Why?" My body tenses, his tone sending warning bells ringing through my head.

"Fuck. Before I tell you this, remember that you"re a fucking cop."

"Tell me."

"Guerrero is MIA," he says. "We rounded up a few of his people, and they don"t have a clue where he"s at."

"They could be covering for him," I remind him. It wouldn"t be the first time, and it damn sure won"t be the last time. Gangs and cartels don"t like snitches on a good day. When people like Jose Guerrero are involved, snitches don"t survive long. In this game, loyalty is the only thing that keeps you alive.

"They aren"t covering. Brady made damn sure of that," Finn mutters. "He almost fucking killed one of them."

"Good," I say as a savage sense of satisfaction twists through me at the news that Brady Kaplan is out there, cracking skulls. If anyone understands the shit I went through today, he does. He"s been living the same hell for weeks now.

For days, I was furious with him for putting his family in harm"s way. I didn"t understand how he could be so careless, so stupid. I get it now, though, and I"m fucking sorry I didn"t understand earlier.

He could have taken every precaution in the world, and Guerrero still would have come for his family, just like he came for Mila. That"s who he is. That"s what he does. People like Carla and Andres, and Mila are collateral damage to people like Guerrero, acceptable causalities in his fucked-up war. There is no safe place for the innocent to hide, not so long as motherfuckers like that breathe.

"I hope he takes out as many of the bastards as he can," I mutter, meaning every word.

"Roman," Finn warns me, but I don"t really give a shit.

"They held a fucking gun to his two-year-old son"s head," I snap, reminding him exactly why my partner has every right to want to tear Guerrero and his people apart. "They torched my house with Mila inside. So I don"t really give a fuck about your delicate sensibilities right now, Finn. The only reason I"m not out there with him, dismantling Guerrero"s little cartel, member by fucking member, is because of her. Because I"m not leaving her side so long as she"s still in this city."

I pause as another nurse appears in the hall, hurrying past without even glancing in my direction.

"You better pray to God you find him before I do," I tell Finn as soon as she"s out of earshot, my voice deadly quiet. "Because I"m telling you now, I don"t give a fuck if I"m a cop or not. If I find him, I will kill him. And so will Brady."

Finn rattles off a string of curses, and then he shocks the shit out of me. "When you and Brady find him, you better make damn sure he takes the first shot, Roman. You hear me? You make sure he takes the first shot, and then you kill the son of a bitch."

"Already planned on it," I tell him.

"Good. Get her out of town, and then go find Brady."

"Yeah, on it," I mutter, pushing off the wall to head back to her room.

"And Roman?" he says before I can hang up. "You better not fucking die, and you better not get caught. If she"s pregnant, she"s going to need you, and I have a feeling we are too. This shit isn"t going to end just because he"s gone, I can guarantee you that."