Chapter Thirteen

Ella

I'm surrounded by people, still filtering into the main hall. They're jostling me, nudging me out of their way, all desperate to get in before the ceremony starts, while I'm just desperate to escape.

The problem is, I can't leave without Drew. I'm supposed to be taking him back to his apartment in the city before I go home to Newport… and I can hardly abandon him.

I glance at the doors, wishing they'd open, and he'd come out. What on earth can he be doing in there? He won't be talking to Vivian, that's for sure. The look on her face when we arrived was an absolute picture.

"She's definitely the same Vivian," Drew murmured as we sat down, having greeted everyone.

They'd all seemed pleased to see me. To start with, Ruby just glanced at my bump a little pointedly, but then Kennedy offered her congratulations. I could hardly deny the fact that I'm pregnant, so I thanked her, and everyone else, who quickly joined in, although I could tell Kennedy was dying to ask who the father was. That was one of the reasons Drew and I sat down so promptly, even though everyone else was still standing. It avoided awkward questions.

Vivian kept glancing at Drew with daggers in her eyes, and I was wondering whether I might have the opportunity – and the courage – to confront her during the evening, when I noticed Mac approaching the table.

Having convinced myself he wasn't going to attend, I could hardly breathe. He might have looked absolutely God-like in a tux, but I wanted nothing more than to run away. I couldn't, of course… not without revealing my ever so slightly obvious pregnancy. So, I stayed where I was and watched him, reliving all the times we'd been together, recalling his lips on mine, his fingers caressing my skin, his soft words. I could feel his eyes on me, but didn't dare raise my head.

I heard everything he said, though… and when Kennedy revealed she'd been responsible for what happened with the press, I so wanted to get up, to scream at him, "I told you so!" Except I hadn't told him so, had I? Because I'd never for one moment suspected Kennedy of betraying him.

I just knew it wasn't me.

And as she spouted her pathetic excuses for ruining his life – and mine – he realized the truth, too.

I think that was why he told her I'd been the star of the show. It was guilt talking. I know that. Mac was the star, through and through. But just hearing him compliment me, with that familiar softness in his voice… it was all too much, and regardless of my pregnancy, and my wish to keep it from him, I had to get out of there.

I look up as the doors open, Drew's name on my lips, and I gasp when I see Mac stride out. He looks straight at me, and although our eyes lock for an instant, I can't face him.

Drew will have to get back to his apartment by himself… I'm out of here.

I turn and run… again, heading for the main door, but have only gone a few paces, when Mac steps in front of me, blocking my path. There's too much of him to get around, and I stare at his broad chest, taking deep breaths.

"E—Excuse me, please."

"No."

I look up. He's frowning down at me. Is he gonna get mad? After everything he said and did? Is he gonna have the nerve…?

Seeing red, I raise my hand, jabbing him in the chest with my forefinger. "Don't you dare."

He doesn't flinch, but his brow furrows even more. "Dare what?"

"Get mad at me."

His face clears, and he tilts his head slightly. "Why would I get mad at you, Ella?"

I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have given him an opening to quiz me, and I cough to cover my mistake, lowering my hand again. "For running away?" It's the best I can come up with on the spur of the moment, and judging by the surprise on his face, he didn't expect that any more than I did.

"Which time? Tonight? Or when you ran out of my apartment last November?"

I can't believe this. Is he seriously trying to blame me for that? "I had every right to run. Both times, as it happens. But back then, you blamed me for something I hadn't done, even though I told you I was innocent. I chose not to hang around with a man who didn't trust me. I think it's better if we leave things that way, don't you?"

"No, I don't. Are you telling me you're happier like this? Because I'm not. I'm bloody miserable."

Oh… so am I.

I stare up into his face, forgetting my anger for a moment, and taking in the sadness behind his eyes. It's hard not to be drawn to him… but I pull back, shaking my head.

"I'd like to get to the door, please." I step aside, but he grabs my arm, turning me to face him.

"I meant to say… congratulations." He glances down at the bump, and I blush, unable to help myself as his frown returns. "You are pregnant, aren't you?"

"Yes." There's no point in denying it. "But don't get any ideas. It's not yours."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. You're not the only man in the…" He raises his hand, placing his fingers over my lips, and although my body ignites to his touch, I'm too angry to let the flames linger. I grab his wrist, pulling his hand away. "What are you doing?" I say, glaring up at him.

"Preventing you from hurling insults."

I narrow my eyes at him. "I'm sure you haven't forgotten, my insults only follow on from apologies… and I'm damned if I'm apologizing to you."

He shrugs his shoulders. "It's okay. You don't have to apologize to me. But you were going to insult yourself then, as well as me, and us, and what we had together. You were going to suggest you'd slept with someone else, weren't you?"

I raise my chin defiantly. "And? I can do what I like. We split up, if you remember."

"I'm not likely to forget, but I'm not going to let you suggest that you'd sleep around, either."

"Who says I did? How do you know I didn't meet someone else? How do you know I'm not in a relationship?"

He flinches, like that hurt. "I don't, I guess. Although I find it hard to believe you'd have met someone within days of us breaking up and had unprotected sex with him."

"That just goes to show what you know," I say, wondering why I started this, and didn't just tell him the truth.

"Okay…" He tilts his head, like he's thinking. "Assuming I believe you about this other guy and your relationship, why isn't he here with you tonight?"

"He's busy. He's…"

"Stop it!" He raises his voice, just slightly. "Stop pretending, will you? And stop lying to me. You're carrying my baby, and we both know it."

"You're as sure about that as you were about my role in ruining your career, are you?"

He pauses, sucking a breath. "I'm as sure about it as I am that I got it wrong with you." He moves closer, and it's like I'm wrapped up in him, even though he's not touching me. "I got it so wrong, Ella… and I'm sorry."

"You think ‘sorry' is enough, after everything you put us through?" My eyes are stinging and I look down, struggling against my tears. I feel his finger beneath my chin, and the slight upward pressure as he raises my face to his. The pain in his eyes takes my breath away.

"No, it's not enough… for you, or for me. But can you stop pretending there's someone else? We both know I'm the right man for you. I always was. I always will be. Just like you're the only woman for me. Nothing you say is going to change that."

A tear hits my cheek and as he wipes it away with his thumb, I feel myself deflate. I can't deceive him any longer, and I place my hand between us, resting it on the bump.

"Okay… he's yours."

His eyes light up, a smile touching his lips. "He? I—It's a boy?"

"Yes. But, like I said before, don't you dare get mad at me."

"Mad at you for what?"

"Not telling you."

"I'm not mad at you. Although I'd like to know why you didn't get in touch. I called you. I left a message."

"I know. That was one of the reasons I didn't tell you."

His brow furrows. "Really?"

"Yes. I—I didn't want you to feel obligated."

"Obligated?"

"You know? Responsible… committed."

"I know what it means, Ella." He moves closer, lowering his head and his voice. "Did you listen to my message?"

"Yes."

"Then I don't understand. What did I say that made decide against telling me?"

"You reminded me it had been two weeks since Vermont, and you said you'd be there for me. It was about this, not about me," I say, rubbing my hand over the bump.

He shakes his head. "No, Ella. It was entirely about you. I didn't know if you were pregnant or not. All I knew was that the timing was probably right for you to find out. I thought, if you were, you'd tell me… and if you weren't, you might need someone to talk you. You'd seemed to like the idea of not using a condom, even though we never really talked it through… and I guess I let myself believe you kinda liked the idea of having my baby. I thought you might be upset if you found out you weren't, and I wanted to be there for you. For you, Ella. Pregnant or not. Just like I promised."

Another tear drops onto my cheek. "Oh…" I can't think what else to say. I misunderstood his message… spectacularly. Not that it really changes anything. He still didn't trust me.

"I don't deserve anything from you, after what I did, but…"

A group of people come through the door and a man barges into me from behind, pushing me into Mac's arms. He holds me close, protecting me, but the moment they've gone, I pull away, stepping back.

"Please, Ella," he says. "Hear me out."

"I—I'm tired, Mac." And I need to think. He wasn't supposed to be here. I hadn't expected any of this.

"Okay. I'm sorry. Can I come and see you… tomorrow, maybe? I'm due to fly back to London on Monday, but…"

My heart flounders, my stomach spinning, and I feel sick. All the time, I've imagined him in his lovely top-floor apartment, in that enormous living room, the windows overlooking the city… and he's been in London, thousands of miles away, in a place I can't even picture him. "Y—You went back to London? You don't live here anymore?"

He shakes his head. "No. I flew back home two days after you left me."

"Two days?" That soon? "Y—You didn't want to stay?"

"What did I have to stay for? You'd walked out on me, my apartment had too many memories of you, my career was over. I didn't think there was anything left for me here."

"And you're going back again? On Monday?"

He shakes his head. "Not anymore. That's what I was about to say. I'm gonna cancel my flight."

"Why? Like I said, there's no obligation. I didn't ask you…"

"You don't need to ask. I'm staying."

"If you think you need to stick around because of the baby, then think again. I can manage…"

"I'm sure you can. I don't doubt your ability to do anything. Believe it or not, I never did. But I just told you, this is about you… pregnant or not. It's about us. It has nothing to do with our son." He reaches out, placing a hand on my bump, and I stare up at him.

"Did I say you could touch?"

He pulls his hand away, hurt filling his eyes. "Do I need permission? He's mine, Ella."

"Yes, he is. But I'm not." He recoils, shrinking back, but I move closer, needing him to understand. "You can't just walk back into my life like nothing happened, Mac. You hurt me."

He bends his head, his mouth beside my ear. "I know, and I'm sorry. But I'm not walking away, either. If you think I'm gonna fly back to London, or let you leave me a second time, you're wrong. You're very wrong."

"Is everything okay?" I look up to see Drew staring down at me, concern etched on his face.

"Yes, it's fine," I say.

"No, it's not." I glance at Mac, surprised by his words, although he's looking at Drew. "Ella says she's feeling tired. I think she needs to go home."

Drew frowns at me, then turns to Mac. "Oh… okay."

"Can I come and see you?" Mac's talking to me now, but I don't know what to say. "At least let me call," he says, when I don't respond. "We need to talk."

He's not wrong, and I nod my head, although I'm not sure what we're going to say to each other.

I take Drew's arm, and after a moment's hesitation, he leads me out through the main doors and into the dusky evening. I suck in a lungful of air, my heart beating fast, my head spinning.

"I'll take you back to my place," he says. "You can drive yourself back to Newport tomorrow." I'm in no position to argue, and I hand him the keys, letting him escort me to my car, and help me into the passenger seat.

We've been on the road for about ten minutes, when he coughs rather obviously and I look over at him.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"Nothing."

"Yes, there is. You want to say something. I can tell."

He sighs. "Okay. I'm just wondering why you didn't agree to meet up with Mac. I thought you still loved him."

"I do."

"So… you're playing hard to get?"

"No. I'm not playing at anything. This isn't a game. I'd love to be able to fall into his arms and pretend everything is okay. Except it's not, is it? Not when I know how easily he could hurt me."

"You're assuming he's gonna take that risk again? You're thinking the worst of him, without giving the guy a chance?"

"He assumed the worst of me."

"And? That gives you the right to do it back to him? To play with his feelings and hurt him? You're not twelve, Ella," he says, raising his voice. "You've got a chance to be with the man you love… to be a family. Don't blow it because you're too damn proud."

"I'm not!"

"Yeah, you are. Nobody's perfect, but you're punishing him for making a mistake."

"It was a damn big mistake."

"I get that… but are you gonna hold it against him for the rest of his life? Are you gonna punish yourself into the bargain?" I sit in silence, staring through the windshield, listening to Drew breathing hard, calming down. "Does he know the baby's his?"

"Yes."

"You told him?"

"He guessed."

He shakes his head. "How did he react? Was he angry?"

"No. Not really. I thought he would be but… I—I think I might have misunderstood his message."

"Really?" I can hear the sarcasm in his voice. "You mean it wasn't just about the baby, after all?"

"No. He said he'd realized the timing was right for me to find out if I was pregnant, and he called because he wanted to be there for me, in case I was upset at finding out I wasn't."

"So, he assumed you'd have told him if you were?"

"Yes."

"And this is the guy you're not sure about?" He pulls up at a set of lights and turns to look at me. "I can't be with the woman I love, Ella. I'll never be with her. It hurts like fuck, and I'm not sure I'll ever learn to learn to live with that. But I'd give everything I have for one chance… just one chink of light in all this darkness. Mac screwed up. He knows that. But please, don't let his mistake and your unfounded fears ruin your chance of happiness."

"Unfounded? I told you, he could hurt me again, so easily."

"I know, and I'm telling you, it'll never happen."

"You can't know that."

"Yeah, I can. He loves you, Ella. It's written all over his face. There's no way he's gonna risk losing you again."

The lights change, and he drives off, focusing on the road. I stare at him for a moment, wishing I could believe him… wishing it could be that easy…

***

Mac

"What the hell happened to you?"

I glance up as I enter Calvin's apartment, surprised to find him at home. He's standing in the kitchen, clutching a cup of coffee and looking like he needs it almost as much as I do.

"Don't ask." I'm sure I look a wreck. My tie is hanging loose around my neck, and I've pushed my fingers through my hair so many times on my cab ride back here, I'm sure I must look demented.

"Too late. I already did. Here… your need seems to be greater than mine."

He hands me the cup, fixing another for himself, and then leads me into the living room. Once we're seated at opposite ends of his dark grey couch, he turns to face me.

"So? What happened?"

"Ella."

"Your ex?" He knows a little about what happened… as much as I felt like telling, just before I left for London.

"She's not my ex."

"What is she then?"

"I'm not sure yet, but she's not my ex. She's going to be the mother of my son, though."

He's raising his cup to his lips and stops, almost comedically, poised like a statue. "She's what?"

"You heard me."

"She's pregnant?"

"Yes."

"And it's yours?"

I frown at him. "Don't go there."

He puts down his cup and holds up his hand. "Okay. But you went back to London in November, and it's now April…"

"I know. I can do the maths."

"Maybe. But what I mean is, why didn't she tell you?"

"Why didn't you?"

His brow creases. "Me? How could I have told you? I don't know Ella. I've never even met her."

"She's on TV every Wednesday night. You knew that."

"Maybe she is," he says. "But I'm in the theatre every evening. When do I get to watch TV?"

"Oh, yeah. Sorry."

His face clears. "And anyway, even if she is on TV, the shows are recorded in advance, aren't they? So I doubt her pregnancy would have been that obvious."

He has a point, and I nod my head, taking a sip of coffee. "Yeah… you're right." I feel like an idiot, but that's nothing compared to all the other emotions fighting for attention.

There's love… obviously. There's an overwhelming urge to protect her, which is tricky, when she doesn't seem to want to speak to me… and there's fear. Fear that she'll never be able to forgive me for what I've done. I suck in a breath, clenching my fist, struggling for control.

"Are you okay?" Calvin asks and I shake my head.

"Not in the slightest." I put down my cup and get to my feet, pacing the floor, as I push my fingers back through my hair, yet again. "I screwed up, Calvin."

"That much is obvious. Ella's pregnant."

I stop and look down at him. "That's not what I mean. I—I got it wrong… about the studio… about the press."

"You did?"

"Yeah. It wasn't Ella who spoke to them about me. It was Kennedy."

"How did you find that out?"

"She admitted it tonight, in front of everyone."

"Oh… shit."

"Yeah. I—I said some awful things to Ella when we broke up."

"But it was a misunderstanding," he says, trying to be reasonable, in the absence of reason.

"I don't think she sees it that way."

"Is that why she didn't tell you about the baby?"

"I think so… in part. She said it was because she didn't want me to feel obligated."

"And do you?"

I remember Ella's words. "Yes. I feel responsible… and committed, although I'm not sure exactly what it is I'm committed to. I asked if I could see her, and she didn't reply. She's said I can call, but I don't know whether she wants me back."

"But you want her back?"

"God, yes. I always did. I wish I'd never left now," I say, looking down at him. "Speaking of which, would it be okay if I stayed here a little longer?"

"Sure. You can help me run my lines. If today's rehearsal was anything to go by, this show is never going to open on Saturday evening, and if it does, it'll be the first production of Uncle Vanya to be performed as a farce."

I sit beside him again. "Stop fretting. It always used to be like this before an opening night. You'll be fine."

He chuckles. "You didn't see the way Desmond was strutting around the stage. It was like a cross between the Ziegfeld Follies and Hamlet."

"I'm not sure that's possible, Calvin."

"You had to be there to believe it."

"Okay. I'll help where I can, and I'll certainly run lines with you."

"Thanks."

"I'm gonna head off to bed now."

"Yeah… you must be tired." He looks up, smiling. "It's not every day a guy discovers he's gonna be a father."

"No, it's not."

I don't remember when I last slept.

The night before the awards ceremony, I lay awake worrying about seeing Ella again. The night after, I lay awake thinking about how I was going to persuade her to give me a second chance… and last night, I lay awake fretting, because every time I've tried to call her, her phone goes straight to voicemail.

Is she avoiding me?

She must be.

But why?

She said I could call, but it seems she's turned her phone off… and I don't get it.

"Do you think I should go over to her apartment?" I look down at Calvin, who's reading through his lines again. We went over them yesterday, and he was word perfect, so I'm not sure what he hopes to gain by reading them again today.

"No. She said you could call. She didn't say you could turn up on her doorstep and harass her."

"I'm not harassing her."

"You've called her a dozen times."

"Yeah… and I can't get through. What if something's happened to her?"

"Her brother would've let you know."

He's right. I know he is.

"Look…" he says, sitting forward and putting down his script. "You've cancelled your flight, you're not in any hurry. Just give her time."

I let out a sigh. I wish it was that easy.

"I'm gonna call Henry."

I'm restless. I can't even think straight. It's lunchtime here, so it'll be early evening in London, and although it's a Saturday and the gallery will still be open, I doubt it will be busy.

Henry answers promptly, on the third ring, clearly surprised to hear from me… and even more surprised when I break the news that not only did I get it wrong with Ella, but I'm going to be a father… and I'm not coming home.

"Ever?" he says.

"I'll come back to visit, but Ella's here. Our son's going to be here in a few months' time, and that means I belong here, too… assuming she'll give me a second chance."

"She will. Just don't give up."

"I'm not going to."

"Good. If you need me to send your things over, just call, and I'll arrange it."

"Thanks, but I think you're getting ahead of yourself, don't you?"

"No. You shouldn't underestimate yourself, Mac."

His words are very comforting, and give me heart, even where I'm not sure there's much hope.

"I'll call you."

"Yes… please do."

We end our call, and I look up at Calvin. He's gone back to studying his script again, and I decide to take a chance and dial Ella's number… yet again.

It rings… it actually rings, and I leap to my feet.

"Mac?"

"Hi, Ella."

Calvin sits back, looking up, and then gets to his feet, vacating the room… bless him.

"Have you been calling me?" Ella asks.

"Yes, but I didn't leave any messages." I couldn't think what to say, other than ‘I love you', and I wasn't going to say that down the phone to your voicemail.

"Sorry. My phone was turned off."

No kidding . "But I told you I'd call."

"I know, but I got back to Drew's place on Thursday and I had such a headache, I went straight to bed. It was still pretty bad yesterday, so I stayed with him again, resting, and I've only gotten home this morning. I'd forgotten I'd turned my phone off when we got to the ceremony… and I didn't switch it back on until about twenty minutes ago. I—I'm really sorry, Mac."

"Hey… don't be sorry. Are you okay?" She doesn't sound it.

"The headache's a lot better."

"That's not what I asked."

"I'll be fine."

That's still not what I asked. "Can I come over… please? I'm worried about you."

There's a brief pause and I hear her sigh. "Is this about the baby?"

"No. How many times do you need me to say this? I want to see you, Ella. I want you… I want us. Please? I miss you… so damn much." My voice cracks and I hear her gasp. At least I think it's a gasp and not a sigh. This is why I need to see her… so I can gauge her reactions, instead of guessing at them. "Please, let me come over? I can be there in about twenty minutes."

"No, you can't. I—I'm not in Boston."

"But I thought you said you went home."

"Yes… to Newport."

Shit . "Okay. I'll… I'll rent a car and drive down there."

There's another pause, which drags on for a little too long to be comfortable. "O—Okay."

She doesn't sound as enthusiastic as I'd like, but she gives me her address and after I've thanked her, we end our call, and I try to calm my nerves, wandering to Calvin's bedroom and knocking on the door. He calls out, "Come in," and when I do, I find him sitting on the edge of his bed, gazing down at his script.

"I need your help."

He looks up, raising his eyebrows. "What with?"

"I need to rent a car. Quickly."

The house has gates, although why that surprises me, I don't know.

I slow the Toyota Corolla that Calvin helped me to hire, and park in front of them, getting out and approaching the keypad on the gatepost. I press the button at the base and wait, hearing a man's voice, which just says, "Come in," without asking who I am, and I dash back to the car as the gates open, keen to get through before they close again. This must mean I'm expected, which is a relief, although who the man is remains a mystery… one that nags at me as I drive forward.

The driveway stretches before me, with lawns on either side, so wide I can't see where the boundary of the property is, and I suck in a breath. This must be how multi-millionaires live, I guess, and I continue down the driveway until eventually an enormous house comes into sight.

"Jesus…"

I thought Ella's apartment was something else, but this is affluence on a whole different scale… demonstrated not only by the size of the property itself – which has a central section and two wings, around a forecourt – but also by the bright red Ferrari which is parked alongside Ella's Mercedes. It's like a stately home, or a country estate, and I park my hire car and get out, stretching my back, just as the front door of the house opens and I'm faced with a tall, dark-haired man. I'm guessing he's the man who just let me in, but what I'd really like to know is, what the hell is he doing here?

He looks relaxed enough, in jeans and a t-shirt, like he belongs, and he steps forward, holding out his hand to me.

"I'm Hunter Bennett… Ella's brother."

I relax and remind myself not to keep jumping to conclusions. It's cost me dearly in the past, and I need to learn from that before I screw up again. Now he's closer, I can see the similarities between Hunter and his brother, and I shake his hand. "Hi. I'm Mac."

He smiles. "I know. Ella asked me to be here. I hope that's okay?"

I sense it's not an option and nod my head. "If that's what she wants, sure."

I can't help feeling disappointed, but I swallow it down and follow him into the house.

He closes the door, and I just about have time to take in the vast hallway, the wide stairs leading up to the first floor, and the shining wooden floor. Hunter joins me and directs me to my left, through an archway, into an immense living room. The wall opposite is dominated by a fireplace, and there are four brown leather couches, on one of which Ella is sitting with her legs curled up beneath her. She goes to get up, but I move forward, holding up my hand.

"Stay where you are."

She does, looking up at me as I approach and then sit alongside her. She's wearing an oversized pale pink blouse and stonewashed jeans, which I'm guessing have some give in the waistband, to allow for the bump she's currently resting her hand on. Ignoring her brother, who I think has taken a seat on one of the other sofas, I reach out for her hand, holding it in mine, and gaze into her eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Ella. I made a mistake."

"I noticed." She leans forward slightly, although she doesn't pull her hand from mine… not that I'm about to let her. "You judged me."

"I know… but I also begged you to stay. I didn't want it to end. That was the last thing I wanted."

Anger flares in her eyes. "So you thought you could accuse me of ruining your career, and I'd just take it?"

"No, but try to understand… it was the only thing that made sense to me. I know I let you down, but why did you leave? Why didn't you stay and talk it through with me?"

She frowns. "Because you didn't seem to be in the mood for listening, and I couldn't see the point of staying."

"You couldn't see the point? Even when I was pleading with you not to go?"

She stares at me and blinks a few times, then looks down at our joined hands, although she still doesn't pull hers away. It's clear she's not going to answer, and I can't make her. I move a little closer.

"I'm sorry I judged you. It was wrong of me, and I'll never forgive myself for hurting you. I know you had your reasons for leaving, and that most of them were my fault, but can you explain why you didn't tell me about the baby?" Her eyes widen. "You told me the other night that my phone call was one of the reasons, so what were the others?"

"I did it for you."

Her brother shifts in his seat and I glance over at him, noticing the frown on his face, which I'm sure matches my own. "You kept our baby from me, for my benefit? How? Why?"

She rubs her swollen belly and lets out a sigh. "Because, if you must know, our brother's ex-girlfriend is pregnant with his baby, and I've seen what it's doing to him, having to live a double life. He's the father in waiting to a child he'll never get to live with properly, and because of that, he can't be the man he really wants to be. I decided I couldn't do that to you. This… this mistake isn't something you have to live with, Mac. The fact that I'm pregnant is my fault, just as much as it's yours, and you shouldn't have to give up anything or change your life because of it."

I hold her hand a little tighter. "Our situation is completely different."

"How?"

"To start with, you're not my ex-girlfriend."

"What am I then?"

"I—I don't know," I say, taking a breath. "But you're not my ex-girlfriend. I'll never be able to think of you as that. And besides, what happened between us wasn't a mistake. It was intentional… or at least it was calculated. We both knew there were consequences to what we were doing, and I wanted to live with them. I still do. If I could be with you again, I wouldn't consider myself as giving up anything. I'd consider myself as gaining everything I ever wanted."

She shakes her head, seemingly unmoved. "There's no obligation, Mac."

I let go of her hand, pushing my fingers back through my hair, and she stares into my eyes. "Yes, there is. And in any case, it wasn't your decision to make. I told you when we were in Vermont that I wasn't going anywhere."

She leans forward, her eyes alight. "Yeah, you did. I remember it… and then you left."

"No. You left me. You walked out."

"Yes, I did. But what I mean is, you went back to London."

"Of course I did. What did I have to stay here for? I didn't know you were pregnant, and I decided I'd rather be fucking miserable in London than fucking miserable here. Jesus… we're going round in circles."

"I know, but the point is, this isn't your problem." She glances down at the bump, and then looks back at me, raising her chin defiantly. "If you've moved on…"

"Moved on?" I stand, staring down at her. "How the hell could you think I'd move on? I get that I let you down. I get that I hurt you… and I'm sorry for everything I did, for every cross word and false accusation. But move on? How was I supposed to do that when my heart was in pieces?"

"Y—Your heart?" she whispers.

"Yes. I love you, Ella. I've always loved you."

It's like time stops for a moment and then suddenly her face crumples and she bursts into tears.

"No… please don't cry." I sit again and pull her into my arms. She's a little stiff, but she leans against me and I hold her shaking body to mine. "Please, Ella…"

"W—Why did you have to say that now?"

I lean back, looking down into her tear-filled eyes. "Because it's the truth. I was gonna tell you when we were at the cabin, but then I forgot the condom, and I thought if I said it then, you'd think I was just making platitudes… just saying it because it was something you needed to hear. I wanted you to take me seriously, so I decided to wait until we got back to Boston."

"Oh, God. But… but I was going to say it then, too."

My heart stops beating, just for a second, and when it starts again, it's like the entire world begins anew. "Y—You mean you loved me?"

"Yes. I thought I'd tell you how I felt and then ask you to move in with me."

"I can't believe this."

"Why not?"

"Because I was going to do exactly the same thing… except I was going to ask if I could move in with you, rather than the other way around. I wasn't sure…"

I stop speaking as a phone rings, and I tear my eyes away from Ella and look over at her brother as he pulls his mobile from his pocket, looking at the screen.

"Sorry," he says. "I need to take this." He connects the call, holding the device to his ear. "Drew?" He listens, then sits forward in his seat. "Her waters have broken?" I feel Ella tense in my arms and she pulls away, focusing on her brother. "Do you want me to come to the hospital?" We both watch, while Hunter listens avidly, his face a picture of concern and concentration. "Okay. Call if you need me."

He hangs up, putting his phone down beside him, and turns to Ella. "Lexi?" she says, that one word obviously meaning something to both of them as he simply nods his head in reply. Ella puts her hand on the bump again, her protective instincts coming to the fore, as I guess they're talking about her brother's ex-girlfriend, and the fact that she must have gone into labour.

"She's still in Boston, isn't she?" Ella asks. "Drew wasn't gonna take her home until tomorrow."

"No, she's still in Boston. He got a call from her sister."

"Oh, God… that must have been hard for him."

"It was. I think that's why he called. Lexi's sister is gonna be there at the birth, evidently."

Ella shakes her head and then turns to me. "I'm sorry. This probably doesn't make much sense to you. Our brother Drew was seeing Lexi for a while, and they split up shortly after he met her sister and fell in love with her."

"Was that the reason they split up?" I ask.

"No. It wasn't working out between them, anyway. Drew knew he couldn't ask Lexi's sister out straight away, so he was biding his time, and then Lexi got in touch and told him she was pregnant. That's what I meant when I said he couldn't be the man he wanted to be."

"Maybe not, but I can… can't I?"