CHAPTER 9

nick

So, Ajay now knew everything about me. He knew I liked guys and he knew I'd been in a relationship with one of my best friends. The one who was currently sending me some seriously mixed messages as he glared over the fire at me sitting beside Ajay. If I didn't know better I would think he was jealous. And yet he was the one standing there trying to hold a chick's hand and convince himself he could be with her.

Either way, not my problem anymore. Unlike the seriously gorgeous, oh-so sexy guy sitting beside me, so close his shoulder was grazing mine as I stole another sip from his bottle of beer. Something about sharing a bottle with Ajay was making my insides flare with heat. Especially when mixed with the look of sheer surprise on his pretty face when I'd casually mentioned my sexuality to him.

I was trying to ignore the little hint of something else I'd seen on his face. Something that might have looked a bit like interest. Maybe I'd imagined it. Either way I was pretty sure I'd planted a few other ideas in his sweet little innocent head, and who was I to stop him from undertaking a little soul searching.

I was just thinking of a way to offer up the full suite of my friendship services to him when the object of my deepest, darkest repulsion suddenly appeared in front of him.

"There you are," Kira stated, a little tipsy already as she swayed on her feet. She was looking at Ajay like he was her favourite dessert and I felt a growing wave of hostility bubbling up inside me towards this unworthy girl.

Especially when her eyes flung my way, taking an overly obvious eyeful of my chest and biceps before landing on my face. It wasn't anything her boyfriend hadn't already looked at a hundred times before but I didn't like it when she looked at me that way. I knew girls like her, had had my fair share of batting away their unwelcome interest over the years. What I did resent though, was having this particular girl's eyes on me when they should be focused on the gorgeous, sexy boy she already had. The one she clearly did not deserve.

"Hello," she fluttered coquettishly at me as she lowered herself onto Ajay, straddling his waist in a manner I assumed she thought would interest me.

"Kira," I replied with as much acid as I could muster. She did some flirty thing with her tongue grazing over her teeth, looking me over while pawing at Ajay's chest. This chick was lucky looks didn't actually kill because I was pretty sure she might be dead by now.

"Dane didn't tell me he had an older brother," Kira purred, emphasis on the older, like my additional years was some prize.

"We don't like to talk about it," I replied, sharing a glance with Ajay when he huffed out a laugh.

"Are you going to come dance with me," she said to Ajay instead, a little pout on her face, her long fingers rubbing down his chest in a way that had me wanting to growl at her. Geez, calm down, Nick.

He's not yours.

"Nope," Ajay returned. "I'm perfectly happy sitting here watching."

"Fine. Be like that," Kira pouted, eyes back on me as she leaned forward to plant a kiss on Ajay's lips. How I had ever thought she was beautiful was beyond me. Hate wasn't a word I spent much time in company with but I was feeling all sorts of nasty emotions towards this girl who was blatantly flirting with me right in front of her boyfriend. The boy I so happened to be having a few of my own slightly complicated emotions towards.

Kira climbed back to her feet, flicked her long hair over her shoulder and sauntered back towards where the girls were still dancing to the music. Rob and Kat were there too, him with his hands on her waist and I hoped he got lucky tonight. He'd had his eye on Kat for ages now.

Ajay had gone quiet beside me and I sieved through some random thoughts about what to say.

"Sometimes I really thank the universe that I'm gay," I stated instead, trying to lighten the mood.

Ajay just glanced at me, a smile on his face before he burst out with one of those laughs I wanted to bottle and keep. "You may be onto something there."

"Far less drama," I returned with a smug little grin. "Not to mention no unwanted pregnancies."

"Not all girls are drama," Ajay had to go and rationally add, head knocked in Dee's way.

"Okay, you have me there," I conceded.

"You ever tried it?" Ajay asked quietly, eyes flicked my way. "Being with a girl?"

"Once," I told him, a little inward grimace at the awkward teenage memory. "I think I just wanted to make doubly sure I was as gay as I already knew I was."

"And? Did she convince you?"

"Absolutely solidified it," I grinned. "It might have been the fact I could hardly get it up for her that did it too. Had to close my eyes and picture Henry Cavill the whole time."

"Serious?" Ajay asked, amusement crossing his face.

"A hundred percent," I conceded, watching as the fire danced in his deep brown eyes, making them look like a fathomless pool. And oh look, now I was waxing poetic. Maybe I'd had a few too many of those beers. Or maybe it was just this guy and his hypnotic company sending me insane.

"What was her name?" he asked.

"Selena Arlington. Tenth grade. She'd had a crush on me for years. We had a party here at my parents' house and I just kind of had to know, I guess. She was a more than willing participant in the act but I think she was expecting something more like an engagement ring rather than walking in on me and the year twelve sports captain later that week."

"Your life sounds so much more interesting than mine," Ajay smiled, a hint of something crossing his face.

"I doubt that. You and whats-her-face look like the high school prom king and queen." Yeah I was being immature but I couldn't bring myself to say her name.

Ajay huffed a soft laugh. "I guess."

"So how did that happen?" I asked, always the glutton for punishment.

A puzzled expression crossed Ajay's face and I found myself leaning in even closer, shoulder pressed to his. "I don't even really know for sure," he admitted. "I told you I only moved to the same school as them for year twelve. Kira was best friends with Dee and those three had known each other forever. Kira had made some fairly obvious hints to me but it wasn't until our big end of year celebrations at a friend's house. I had way too much to drink and woke up the next morning beside Kira. Both of us naked. So I could only draw my own conclusions about what had happened. And then it just sort of became this thing that we were together."

"Aw, so romantic," I returned, biting on my bottom lip as I pretended to swoon. Ajay laughed and knocked me with his knee.

"Not all of us can be smooth operators like you."

"Hardly," I scoffed. "Is that what you like though? A bit of romance?"

Ajay stopped and looked at me, a shadow crossing his face. Dangerous territory here. A little flirting he seemed to tolerate but maybe I was treading into murky waters with that question.

"I don't know," he shrugged. "Never really thought about it."

"Well think about it now," I pressed, in for a penny.

"It's not romance I need," he finally replied, eyes locked onto the flames dancing in the fire. "I just want something that feels real. Everything just seems so surface level, you know? All about the looks and the way it will photograph for the socials. I just want real."

He looked back at me then and I almost said it. Almost offered that I could give him as real as he could ever wish for. But I didn't, self-preservation kicking in and stopping me from talking. We'd barely known each other a week although that was more than enough time for me to know how absolutely amazing he was. But he was straight or at least he thought he was. I needed to keep reminding myself of that because the way he was looking at me right now seemed somehow slightly less than straight.

Of course, that was also the moment Kira stumbled back onto the scene, almost tumbling onto Ajay as she swayed on her feet.

"Steady there," Ajay said, eyes breaking away from mine as he reached out to hold his girlfriend steady. His girlfriend, Nick.

"I've had too much to drink, Ajay," Kira moaned, dropping to her knees in the sand.

"Yep. Come on, I'll take you back to the house," Ajay offered. Because of course he did. He was that kind of guy. Sweet and selfless and concerned about his girlfriend even though she was a piece of work with a wandering eye.

He stood and helped her to her feet, arm going around her waist as she clung onto him. His eyes came back to mine, some kind of mutual understanding passing between us, like he knew we had half a conversation to finish.

"Night, Nick," he said, eyes holding mine for a moment too long.

"Night, Tassie boy," I nodded, watching him head back up towards the house with his girl tucked under his arm.

The party lost all interest for me after I'd had to sit and watch Ajay walk Kira back up to the house. But I waited it out impatiently, mind half way back at the house, until the party petered out of its own accord. Dee and Dane had gone already. I hadn't even noticed them leave.

I gave Rob a little extra time to shoot his shot with Kat but it wasn't long before she eventually waved goodbye too and I guess that was that.

"Bad luck, mate," I consoled, planting a heavy arm over Rob's shoulders.

"Ah that's okay," he replied with a wistful grin, his short brown hair blowing in the sea breeze. "Pretty sure I'm slowly wearing her down."

"That's the spirit," I grinned, patting his chest.

"Looks like we're both down on our luck tonight," Rob returned with a cheeky grin. "You want to take me home to bed seeing as your pretty young boy seems to have disappeared with his girl?"

"We'll just have to make do with each other as our consolation prizes," I said with a shrug.

"As long as you don't take that as invitation to get all handsy with me."

"Stop pretending like you don't love it," I chided back.

Rob helped me kick sand over the dying embers of the fire and cart the eskies back up to the house. We'd get the rest of the stuff tomorrow but I was too tired to deal with it all right now.

I hadn't seen Mateo and Tate for a while and I assumed they must have left already. Of course, that made me wonder if Mateo was taking Tate home. And that of course made me wonder how he was managing that whole side of things. I hadn't felt like I could ask and Rob had been remarkably silent about the whole debacle too.

Rob and I had just made it to the back deck when Mateo called out and we turned to find him making his way up the back lawn.

"Hey, man. We thought you'd headed off for the night," Rob said.

"Just saying goodnight to Tate," Mateo answered, eyes avoiding mine as we made our way inside.

"And how is Tate?" Rob asked politely.

"She's … good," Mateo muttered. We all ignored the falsity in our friend's words as we made our way upstairs. I signalled for them to be quiet as we passed by the bedroom door where Ajay was in bed with his girlfriend, my heart mourning out a sad note as I closed my bedroom door behind us.

As usual, Rob and Mateo immediately commandeered my ensuite, fighting out for prime position while they brushed their teeth with the toothbrushes we all left at each other's houses. I shook my head with a smile before heading back out into the hallway to the bathroom I now thought of as Ajay's.

I had just started brushing my teeth when a sound from the hallway made me look up. Kira was standing in the doorway, her hair slightly mussed, hopefully from sleep and not any other nocturnal activities while a look of surprise crossed her face. She was wearing a silky green robe that only just covered her but I stilled when I saw the look in her eyes.

She bit into her bottom lip which I knew she thought was a sexy little move but all I felt was a zing of repulsion at the slow, languorous way her eyes trailed over every inch of my body. I kind of wished I'd kept my top on now.

"Didn't expect to see you here," she said, taking an artful step into the room. Her hands moved to play suggestively with the tie around her robe, every move designed to tempt. Sorry, love. Wrong tree to bark up over here.

"Where's Ajay?" I asked, pausing to spit in the sink.

"Out to it," Kira replied, head cocked to the side as she moved right up into my space. "I saw the way you were looking at me tonight," she added. Like actually had the audacity to say.

"Sorry, I think you may have misread that," I replied as succinctly as I could. "I wasn't looking at you."

"Oh, you don't have to be coy about it now," Kira purred, stepping a set of long nailed fingers down my pec. "It's just us here. You can be honest."

"I can honestly tell you I was not looking at you in any way, shape or form tonight, Kira," I told her. Your boyfriend, on the other hand.

"You can play hard to get if you want," Kira pressed, not deterred by my words one bit. "But I'll make it easy for the both of us." And with that she promptly tugged at the tie around her robe, letting it fall open so that it was just the two of us and her bare tits and a little pair of lacey knickers for all the world to see.

I did not give her the satisfaction of looking. I turned back to the sink, ignoring her as she parked her ass on the vanity right alongside me while I finished rinsing my toothbrush. She wasn't going to drive me out of my own home with her behaviour.

"Good night, Kira," I said, attempting to step around her. She stepped into my path, a manicured hand pressed to my pec, sending chills down my spine. And not the good kind.

"Ajay's asleep. He'll never have to know," she pressed, hand skating down my chest, clearly not one to be hindered. I wondered if she'd ever heard the word no before in her life. Well, there was always a first time for everything.

"There's two problems with that, Kira," I returned, shifting her aside and stepping around her, ensuring there was nothing between me and my escape route to the doorway. "One – I like and respect Ajay far too much to cheat with his girl."

Still not deterred, Kira stepped straight back into my space, pressing her nipples up against my chest. Seriously, when would this woman get the hint?

"And the other?" she asked, glancing up at me from under her eyelashes.

I grinned back at her, a false smile tinged with my repulsion as I leaned down to say into her ear, "If I was going to cheat with anyone, it would be with Ajay. Not you."

I didn't wait to see her reaction as I turned and escaped to the hallway. I'd never been gladder to have Rob and Mateo in my bed even though the three of us were way too much for my queen. I wasn't entirely sure Kira wouldn't have continued to wantonly misread my obvious uninterest and barge her way in here otherwise.

"You okay?" Rob asked, noting my obvious unease.

"Ah, yeah," I replied, deciding to keep my mouth shut as I crawled into the space in the middle of the bed that my friends had so kindly left for me. Mateo was watching me, that look on his face that told me he knew something was up.

But I didn't want to tell them about what had just happened with Kira. I didn't want to tell them anything that would be so obviously hurtful and upsetting to Ajay. And that left me with my next moral dilemma, one I knew I would have to ponder out carefully in order to separate out my emotions from my motives.

Did I tell Ajay?