CHAPTER 23

mateo

I woke up the next morning to a changed world. It was a world in which my parents finally, finally knew about me, a world where I had no more reasons to hide, no more shackles tying me down, no more heavy weights on my soul, no more secrets, no more lies.

No more reasons to expect any love from my parents.

It was also a world in which I had voluntarily allowed a man to hold me all through the night and I wasn't sure how I was feeling about that. Only that it had been nice, so very, very nice falling asleep in Jamie's arms and have him hold me together the way he had done since I'd rocked up on his doorstep last night like a lost puppy.

And whilst my mind was still processing a million different things including the very real prospect I had lost my parents forever, it was also revelling in waking up to a sense of freedom and liberty that I had never known in all my life before. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Both probably.

"Good morning," Jamie murmured, voice still husky as he lay on his stomach, those gentle hands of his smoothing the hair from my forehead. I don't know why that gesture was hitting me in the feels so badly this morning. Probably I was still raw and emotional but it just felt so affectionate I didn't know what to do. I also knew I didn't want him to stop playing with my hair like that because it sure felt nice.

"Morning," I replied. Jamie's eyes traced my face while mine drifted down that spectacular back of his which was on full display for my greedy eyes, all the way down to the sheet covering his equally spectacular ass. I had really not been in the mood for sex last night with all those emotions pouring through me and had been so grateful just to fall asleep in his arms. But this morning, well, this morning was another matter entirely.

"What?" he asked, the laugh ringing in his voice.

"Just admiring the view," I told him.

"Hard same, Mateo. Always hard same for me," he replied, making that part of me that craved attention and admiration perk up.

Neither of us moved from where we still lay partially entwined, his fingers still in my hair and me purring like a cat inside.

"Do you have a shift today?" I asked at length.

"No," he smiled, shifting to lean on his elbow. The sheet moved with him and his eyes suddenly tracked down my chest to those loose shorts that I had a strong feeling were not doing a great job at covering what they were supposed to be covering.

"Bloody hell, those shorts," Jamie groaned, confirming my suspicion as a smile lifted my mouth. "I'm not sure whether I like you in those better or those sexy purple briefs."

"I thought purple was your favourite," I teased.

"Oh it is, but these shorts are really testing my fortitude," he groaned.

"How about we test that fortitude out some more," I suggested, sliding closer towards him.

"Is that what you really want, Mateo?" Jamie asked, always the gentleman.

"Can you stop being a gentleman for the moment," I groaned, shifting ever closer until I was pressed up against his equally hard dick. "I want you to fuck me. I want your beautiful, thick cock inside me. I want you to fill me up until it's all I can feel. I want to feel where you've been inside me for days and days on end. Is that clear enough for you?"

Jamie loosed a breath, eyes pinned on mine to make sure I was fully on board with my suggestion as though my body wasn't enough of a hint.

"I'd love that too," he finally said, surprising me even more.

"Come and get me then, Jamie," I teased, shifting onto my back, spreading myself out for his eyes to peruse. "And seeing as you have nowhere important to be today, maybe we can spend the entire day in bed having sex. What do you think?"

"I think you are going to absolutely destroy me," Jamie groaned, eyes closed as though he was in agony as he bent his head to kiss me.

Jamie sent me for a shower with a twinge so deep inside of me that I swore I'd be feeling him into the next week. Which was, strictly speaking, what I had asked for but I hadn't really thought this through so well. Maybe my suggestion of having sex all day was a little ambitious but there were plenty of other things we could do that didn't involve inflicting permanent damage on my ass. He really was so very good at getting in there and finding all those spots that made me sing. But he also left me with an ache that I was definitely feeling right now.

The bathroom was steamy when I finally stepped out of the shower. I wrapped a towel around my waist and prepared to join Jamie in the kitchen where he was making breakfast when I paused with my fingers on the handle. I could hear voices in the living room so I hastily retreated, moving back into Jamie's bedroom instead.

I pulled on my jeans and then rifled through Jamie's wardrobe until I found a nice grey henley that I pulled on over my head. It swamped my smaller frame but it smelled just like Jamie and I found I quite liked that.

I stepped out into the living room, stopping short when my eyes alighted on the unexpected sight of Dante and Giulia as they hovered in the kitchen with Jamie at their side. Their eyes found me and I saw their sadness as they both moved straight towards me. Giulia got to me first, pulling me into one of her beautiful, warm hugs as a feeling of joy and relief swept over me.

"My beautiful, Mateo," Giulia wept, tears in her eyes. I felt Dante move to my side, his arm coming around my shoulder and I leaned into him too as he put his other arm around me.

"We are so sorry about your parents," he said, the same sadness in his eyes. But I wasn't feeling sad right then, I was feeling so much love and happiness I was at risk of being overwhelmed by it.

"It's okay, aunty, uncle," I assured them.

"It's not okay, tesoro ," Giulia said, stepping back from me and swiping at her eyes. "You deserve so much better than that."

"And I am getting everything I deserve from the both of you. My family where it counts most," I told them, emotions clogging my throat. I felt Jamie's eyes on me and I glanced up, seeing the smirk on his face as his eyes trailed down over me standing there in his top.

"I am so angry at them both I can hardly speak," Dante almost vibrated, his anger a palpable thing.

"How did you both know?" I asked, eyes moving between my adopted aunty and uncle who I loved so dearly.

"They called us this morning," Giulia explained. "Told us about you and expected us to join them in their disgust and sorrow."

"They quickly realised that we would never be disgusted by you," Dante added, "And then they realised we already knew."

"That set them off even more especially after I told them we'd met Jamie," Giulia added, a sparkle in her eye.

"And then we got in our car and drove straight to your house after you didn't answer our calls," Dante told me. "We saw Rob and told him what had happened. He expected you were here and gave us Jamie's address. I hope that was okay."

"It's absolutely okay," Jamie told them from the kitchen.

"I'm so thankful for you both," I added, those annoying tears pricking at my eyes again.

"You know we love you, Mateo," Giulia told me, her words healing over a few of those broken parts inside of me and stitching them back together. "And I'm just so sorry that your parents cannot see the wonderful man you are."

"Thank you," I said again, that tear breaking loose as they wrapped me up again in that hug. I felt so much of their love as I stood there, held up by the family I had chosen instead of the one that should have stood by me. But maybe that didn't matter. Maybe all that mattered was that I had found my family for myself, even when my real one couldn't be that for me.

"Coffee?" Jamie asked from the kitchen.

Giulia and Dante pulled away from me, their faces shining with so much of the love and affection they had always held for me and I knew I was going to be all right. That I was going to get through this with them at my side.

"We'd love a coffee," Giulia smiled.

My family sat on the lounge while I went into the kitchen to help Jamie with the coffees, trying to ignore him as he grinned at me while leaning up against the bench, arms crossed and delicious biceps bulging.

"What?" I finally asked.

"I really like you in my clothes," he chuffed with a shake of his head.

"Yeah? You like this oversized look on me?" I asked, holding out my arms.

"I'm pretty sure you could wear a sack and make it look like high fashion," he said. "It's more the fact that it's my top and it makes me feel a little … possessive is all."

"Is that so?" I asked, liking those words more than I probably should.

"Sometimes I think you turn me into nothing but a mindless beast," he returned, still shaking his head as he finished making the coffees.

"I don't mind when the mindless beast comes out to play," I replied, dropping my voice so as not to scandalise my family.

"I know, Mateo," he groaned, voice half pained, half turned on.

Giulia and Dante stayed with us for over an hour, drinking Jamie's coffee and then eating the bacon and eggs he made for us all. I felt so complete and put back together again by the time they stood to leave and I hugged them again at the door.

"Thank you for coming to see me," I told them.

"Anything for you, Mateo," Giulia replied, patting my cheek.

"You know you're our favourite," Dante grinned, hand on my shoulder.

"I'll be forever grateful that I have you in my life," I told them. My statement was greeted with more tears from Giulia as she hugged me again until Dante had to extract her from me and gently push her towards the elevator, a smile on his face as Jamie stood at my side.

We closed the door on them and I turned towards Jamie, seeing the soft smile on his face as I leaned against the door.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing. Only that I'm pretty sure I was promised a full day of sex," he said, eyes turning predatory as he pushed me back against the door with nothing but a look. His hand landed on the door beside my head while the other traced a sharp fingernail down my chest to circle my pec.

"I did promise sex," I admitted, trying to grin but feeling a little breathless by the look in his eye. "Got a bit of a sore ass though so we might need to change things up a little."

"Really?" he replied, weirdly delighted by that little fact. Like it was a badge of honour for him that he had wrecked my ass.

"Yes you really are that amazing," I deadpanned, smiling inwardly at the grin tugging at his lips.

"How about we put that smart mouth to work then. I'm sure we can both be creative," he returned, mouth grazing my neck as the hand circling my pec dropped down to take my hand. "Come with me, Mateo. The mindless beast wants to come out and play with you."

" Dio santo ," was all I could say, letting him take my hand as he led me towards my fate, the one that was entirely of my own making.

I stayed the whole weekend at Jamie's. Contrary to my earlier suggestion, we didn't actually spend the whole time having sex. Although that was more Jamie's doing than mine but he seemed to have this way of planting ideas in my head and making me think I was the one who came up with them.

That would explain the long walk we'd taken on the beach late Saturday afternoon, his hand threaded through mine again and me really not minding all that much. It might also explain how we ended up at the little grocery store near his apartment where I pulled together ingredients for an Italian pasta dish that my nonna used to make back in Italy that I knew would blow his mind.

And blow his mind I certainly did whilst simultaneously blowing a few other parts of each other's bodies.

All in all I would admit it was a very nice weekend and that was saying something considering how terribly it had started.

Jamie had an early shift on Monday morning so I drove home late on Sunday afternoon, feeling a little weird and empty inside as I pulled up outside my house. Nick's red Jeep was in the driveway but I didn't feel the usual zing I usually felt whenever he was around. But I couldn't say I minded the thought of my best friend's company tonight what with all this weirdness still churning around inside me.

"M!" was the first thing I heard as I stepped through the door, swiftly followed by Rob's arms barrelling tightly around me. My vision was blinded by his broad shoulders so I didn't even notice when Nick stepped up alongside me and threw his arms around the two of us.

"Just so you know, we hate your parents and have vowed to do any petty acts of revenge that you so desire on your behalf," Rob said.

"At least any petty acts that have a maximum prison sentence of two years," Nick chimed in. "We are all way too pretty for jail."

"Speak for yourself," Rob chided. "I'd have no trouble asserting my dominance in the slammer."

"Well you can do the criminal acts of revenge then," Nick returned. "Mateo and I will stick with the petty acts. Although maybe that should just be me. Mateo would be eaten alive in the system."

"Too right," Rob shuddered. "A pretty face like his would not survive a day in incarceration."

"Neither would his ass," Nick added.

I laughed then, laughed as I pushed them away from me with tears pricking the backs of my eyes.

"I love you both but nobody needs to risk a prison sentence for me," I told them. "No revenge will be necessary."

"Really? Not even teeny, tiny little acts of revenge?" Rob pouted.

"Not even egging their house?" Nick added, adding his own dramatic pout.

"Weeell, maybe that would be okay," I laughed, grinning as they pulled me back into another group hug. "Thanks, guys. I really appreciate you."

"We got your back, M," Rob said, squeezing my shoulders.

"And we're really proud of you," Nick added, a seriousness to his words that had us sharing a glance. He of all people knew how hard this had been for me. He'd lived through it with me for the past ten years. Had encouraged me and guided me when I'd needed him. Had given me the acceptance from not only himself but his whole family and given me a place to be myself. I would always value him for that.

But it had also been one of the major reasons why he and I had not lasted and I wasn't sure how I was feeling about that right now.

"We need a boys night," Rob announced, breaking away from us until we stood in a slightly too-close circle. "What do you think, Mateo? A drink at Paddy's or a night on the sofa?"

"I think I'd rather just stay in tonight if that's okay with you," I said, feeling that little well of happiness fill up inside me with their offer of friendship.

"Beer, pizza and Netflix it is," Nick grinned. "We'll even let you choose the movie."

"What's this?" I gasped. "Never in our entire years of friendship have I ever been granted this kind of power over the remote control."

"Yeah, well don't let it go to your head," Rob returned. "The offer expires at midnight tonight."

"Figures," I grumped, leading the way to the sofa which we all climbed onto. "I don't know why I ever thought I'd be treated as an equal in this friendship circle."

"It's not that you're not equal," Rob returned. "It's just that your taste in movies and television shows is literally shit."

"Hey, it's not my fault I'm actually cultured," I returned, shoving him lightly with my elbow.

"You say cultured, others might say boring," Nick teased from my other side. "Not me of course," he added after I sent him a glare. "Just sharing opinions I might have heard others express."

"You both suck," I said. But that didn't stop me from reaching for the remote control and scrolling through the options while my two best friends on the entire planet remained silent and encouraging when I finally found what I was looking for. Which I knew would be something they would both like too. I was just that kind of guy.

"We love you, M," Rob replied, kissing my cheek and grinning at me. Nick didn't offer the same words or the same kiss on my cheek but we shared a smile and I took it for what it was, his statement that our friendship would always come first no matter how difficult our recent history had been.

And that right there spoke volumes to me, the fact I had these two at my back, my ride or die, the true brothers I had never had, right when I needed them most.