35. Ben

35

BEN

The shop is an oddity in this modern age. It doesn’t try to hide itself as anything other than what it is—a place of magic and growing things. The air is humid and what shelves don’t house labeled bottles of every shape and size, carry plants. The scent is an unlikely mix of green, sharp citrus, and rot.

The ambiance is more similar to what lore would dictate of a witch’s hut in the woods than a shop just a block off main street, but perhaps there are spells in place to keep humans out.

Or maybe the proprietress doesn’t mind regular people getting a taste of magic. After all, no one would believe the potions for sale actually work.

Many who are in the know about magic wouldn’t suspect that this potion master is the most ingenious I’ve ever known. She wouldn’t want the word to get out. Zena McFee cares little for having accolades or being in demand—that would leave less time for her research.

“We aren’t open today.” The woman’s voice that calls from the back lacks any hospitality that someone who runs a store should have. She’s much too prickly for that.

“It’s me,” I call back, locking the shop door for privacy.

Zena leans into sight from the backroom, her frown clearing when she sees me. “Oh, I didn’t expect you so soon.”

“You said you could have it ready.” I’d made my way here as soon as I could, leaving Stella to her workshop with Connors. Her mood had been dark and snappy after the meeting with her mother. She refuses to talk about it.

I don’t know how to fix the family issue she’s having, but I can put my skill of finding solutions to work in the meantime. I’d messaged Stoneheart a warning about Stella’s state and a hint about my errand.

“It’s ready.” Zena waves me to the back. “I just didn’t anticipate your urgency. If you were anyone else, I wouldn’t hand something over like this so easily.”

“Not even for how much you’re charging?” I try and tease, entering the back of the shop. The clutter here is immense. It would be one thing if it were only supplies, but I see at least three different experiments going under glass. The piece of crusty bread dipped in green is the least offensive, and what looks to be teeth floating in amber the most.

Zena only brings experiments to the shop that need constant attention. The cottage she has in the woods is packed with her full collection. I’d only been there once on an errand for Kalos and have no wish to repeat the experience.

“This potion is a powerful working and rare. Something like this could do some real damage in the wrong hands,” she says, unlocking a small pull drawer in the wall.

Of course it’s rare. The ingredients in the original potion are nearly impossible to get and heinous in nature, but Zena’s focus is on finding working substitutions for things that shouldn’t be available on the black market. Her disgust for the lazy solutions as she calls them is what made Kalos start working with her in the first place.

Her expression is serious when I near. The crow’s feet from sun exposure crinkle in concentration as she writes a clear label on the small blue bottle in her grip.

Fertility Aid: Use with caution .

“What’s the caution mean?” I ask, frowning.

“It means there could be side effects.”

“You didn’t say anything about side effects.”

“All potions have side effects.” Zena glares at me like I’m an idiot. “The most common reaction is for the female to feel like they’re going into heat. Other side effects have been limited to a few days at most and are more run-of-the-mill, like a runny nose.”

I swallow, not liking that this isn’t nearly as risk free as I thought. “But it will work?”

She blinks. Again, doubting my intelligence. “Of course.”

“And the supplies are…ethically sourced?”

Zena looks like she’s going to smack me. “Benjamin Barnes, are you really asking me that?”

There’s a moment of chagrin at that since I’ll never know if Benjamin is my full name or not and Barnes was a surname another street kid gave me, but she’s right to be frustrated. I’ve never doubted her.

But I’ve never needed something for someone who’s been so important to me before.

“I have to be sure,” I say.

“Yes. That’s why it costs so much. If you want details, I can give details.”

I swallow, not wanting to know such things because potions never have palatable ingredients, but nod. “I…care about the recipient.”

I love her. I keep those last words to myself, but some of the emotion must leak through because Zena loses some of her prickliness.

“It will work. If conception can happen, it will happen. My substitutions have been tested thoroughly. Mushrooms have been the most helpful substrate for recipes like this one.” Zena snorts before continuing. “I very much doubt that the lady of the territory wants to ingest pixie flesh, and the lion’s mane alternative suffused in blood works far better.”

This time when my stomach turns, it’s not from hearing about mushrooms. “I don’t know what you’re implying.”

Zena eyes me. “It’s no secret that the two of you are close, and then you call me up asking for a fertility potion? The only other you’d be working for is Kalos, and the gods know the dragon doesn’t seem to need help in that area.”

This was the risk of contracting with someone who lives in Leonid territory, but it’s unavoidable. Stoneheart and Stella need to conceive outside of her natural fertility cycle, and Zena is the only potion maker I trust with this.

“This can’t get out,” I say.

“Don’t insult me.” Zena waves her hand. “I’m discreet.” She stills and the hairs on the back of my neck rise when her sharp green eyes focus on me in consideration. “But there are rumors, and they aren’t hard to hear.”

“What rumors?” I ask, but I can guess, and the lightness in my chest from the last couple of days dims.

“Loud whispers that the lady of the territory is closer to her bodyguard than her husband. Most aren’t saying it in a malicious way. They understand it was an arranged mating…”

“And others?” I ask.

“They’re looking to start trouble. I’ll say a blessing for the three of you that the potion will take. I don’t want to return to the dark days, and Frank taking over would result in that.”

The three of us. As if it’s as simple as that. I drag my hand down my face.

“My thanks,” I say.

Zena may reach out as if in comfort, but the shop is a blur as I make my way out.

Every moment, every touch since the beginning, I knew this had an end date, but it doesn’t make the last grains of sand in the hourglass easier.

The ache in my chest is distracting even as I try to ignore it and sightlessly take in the other people on the street. A couple of women who were laughing together stare at me now. Their gazes knowing.

I duck my head and find the nearest alleyway to teleport away. When I get there, I fall against the brick wall, gasping. The pain is like nothing I’d ever crave, but this is the end.

I don’t want to leave them, but my presence is hurting Stella and Stoneheart, and I will not allow that.

I’ll grant myself one last night with them. That thought allows me to take a breath past the tightness in my body.

One night to enjoy them and to be instrumental in solving their problem.

One night to say goodbye.