36. Remy

36

REMY

I lift my chin at Connors when I enter Stella’s workshop, and he leaves to stand guard on the outside of the closed door.

Stella doesn’t register any of it and mutters angrily at the metal she’s hunched over.

“Wife,” I greet, but other than a single glance up, she doesn’t say anything. “How did the conversation with your mother go?”

Her shoulders come down, but she keeps her gaze on what’s she working on. The metal piece would fit in the palm of her hand and has intricate designs around the centerpiece.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” she says.

I nod, unsurprised. Ben had told me as much. “I think you should.”

The look she casts me is caustic. “Excuse me if I don’t want to talk about my feelings with you.”

Her eyes drop back to her work as if ashamed for lashing out, but I’m unbothered. She’s right. I’m hardly the one to talk to about emotions, but I can’t ignore what is troubling her.

My lips twitch, and I bring my hands to rest on the table on either side of her, my breath brushing her fiery hair as she stills.

“There is only room for one stubborn stoic in this relationship,” I say.

Stella chuffs a laugh, before falling silent. After a moment, she places the charm she’s working on away from her and leans back into me.

“She doesn’t believe I can do this.” Her voice is soft.

“Do what?”

She shrugs. “ This . Manage the politics, gain acceptance from the shifters. She doesn’t think I can be the leader they need.”

And that hurts the woman in front of me more than she cares to admit.

I frown. “She said that specifically?”

“Not all of it, but if my own mother doesn’t think I can succeed?—”

“Stop,” I growl without meaning to, but she halts with a sniff.

I turn her on the stool to face me. Her brows are furrowed with the insecurities she shrugged off early in this marriage.

I tilt her chin up so our eyes meet. “Her doubts have nothing to do with your abilities. Elena Elderflower entered into an arranged marriage with a dangerous territory leader. The similarities are too much for her to handle, but you are not her.”

Stella swallows, and I lean forward, brushing a kiss to her lips before continuing, “She’s afraid, and that fear makes it impossible for her to see the leader you are.”

Her arms come to wrap around my waist, taking the hug I’m not offering.

“Thank you,” she says. Time will tell if my words make a bigger impact than her mother’s worries. Stella clears her throat, looking away. “I didn’t get pregnant.”

Moving from one insecurity to another.

“No, you didn’t,” I say, because I would scent the change in her if she were. “Ben said he had an idea to help with that before he left, but he’s been mysterious about it.”

She bites her lip, and I want to swoop in and steal another taste for myself.

“What if that doesn’t work?” she asks.

“Then we continue with the charms and hope for the best.”

“You are not a hope-for-the-best type of creature,” she says, placing her hand on my chest. The warmth of it eases a tightness I’d been unaware that was building. I want my wife to be happy. Seeing her in this state is distressing.

“Our situation isn’t dire. The people here recognize the good in you,” I assure her.

She sighs with a nod, but now that we’re facing each other, I can see her weariness. It’s in her eyes and the slight tremble of her hand that runs over my chest. A different concern takes the forefront in my mind. “You’re pushing too hard.”

“I think I could make four a day if I can keep pace.”

That’s too many. These are challenging charms, and even at the height of her business when I’d spy on her work, she’d do at most one a day.

“Exhausting yourself will serve no one,” I say.

“It will serve the families who will be safer, and every family helped is a point of goodwill for when the vote occurs.” She frowns. “It was a Council member who told my mom about the marriage and caused her to come home early. They probably wanted her to be loud about it, but she’s too familiar with politics to have played into that.”

“That tracks with some other things we’ve dealt with.” I don’t expand on that because it helps nothing to worry her about such details, like the people gossiping about Stella’s attachment to Ben.

The ones we’ve apprehended who are spreading that and the more malicious accusation that I’m the one behind the disappearances have been individuals who worked for Lorenzo in the past and are following Frank’s orders.

There aren’t many, but their voices carry.

I’m stern with what I say next. “None of that changes the fact that you are an asset and can’t work yourself into a depleted state. You must be ready to act if the worst happens.”

If something happens to me, she is the last defense this territory has against people like her uncle. She will be responsible for their safety.

I cup her cheek in my palm and stroke her chin in reassurance, melting some of her tension.

She sighs. “I could use a nap.”

It’s harder than it should be to make myself pull from the circle of her arms, but I do. “I wish you a good rest then.”

A hurt expression passes over her face as she interprets the distance I’m putting between us. It’s too easy to want to be the person who can support her heart and ensure her happiness, but the distance is safer.

Her next smile is wry, and I know this witch has the power to destroy me even with how hands-off I behave.

“Sometimes I think this would all be easier if I hated you,” she says softly.

“I’ve tried my hardest.” Every moment I pulled away to hurt her didn’t leave me unscathed.

Her lips turn up like she’s keeping a sweet but sad secret. “It wasn’t hard enough.”

My swallow is tight at the truth on her face.

She loves me. The words remain unspoken, but it doesn’t stop them from stabbing me. A warmth in my chest fights with regret that loving one-sided will cause her pain.

I distract myself from the marvel of it by clearing my throat and purring. “Maybe you have a masochistic streak yourself.”

She huffs a laugh. “That’s surely true.” But she doesn’t let the joke drop, instead her eyes grow serious, and I want to stop her from saying whatever she’s going to, but I cause her enough trouble without being someone who attempts to silence her. “This is mine to keep. And I’m not running from it. Not with Ben either. Even when he leaves?—”

“I’ll tether him to the bed before I let him leave you.”

She arches a brow, and we both know that no matter my influence, whether he chooses to stay is ultimately not in my power.

I’m hoping there’s something else that keeps him here, but only time will tell if that scheme pans out. As we all have more moments together, the casual hope for that solution has turned into something bigger that I didn’t expect.

I don’t want him to leave.

And it frustrates me that I’ve become as drawn to him as I am to my wife. Each detail their souls display makes me want to dig deeper and take what I cannot give in return.

“Be that as it may,” she says, “I’m not going to hide my feelings or try not to feel them.”

Then she’s a braver soul than I.