Chapter 12

“Can you take me on a tour?”

Staci sounded like a little kid excited for Christmas and it made Reese laugh. They were face-timing while the tour bus headed toward Houston. She was lounging in her tiny bunk and could hear voices in the front room. Sterling and a few of the guys were playing some sports video game, which is what sent her back to the bunk area. She hadn’t seen Morgan in a bit, which probably meant she was in the back lounge.

“You want a tour of the tour bus?”

“Yes, please. When else am I going to get a chance to see one? I need to see how it compares to our apartment.”

Reese snorted. “It’s way better than our apartment.”

“Really?”

“Yes, because it has wheels.” Staci laughed and Reese contorted to get out of the tiny bunk. “You asked for it.”

It was amazing how quickly the tour bus and the tour itself felt like Reese’s new normal. After staying the night in the Atlanta hotel, they drove the next day to New Orleans, stayed in another hotel, then had the second concert the next night. Maybe this would change after time, but the second concert was just as amazing as the first. Sterling shared a special smile with her after his encore (another acoustic mini-set of new songs) and she knew this time that he was smiling at her, not Morgan. That look from Sterling made Reese feel lit up inside, proud of the work she was doing for him. It also warmed her to feel like they had shared something private.

After their conversation in his suite and the intimate moment on the balcony, things had shifted between them. Sterling was more comfortable around her and sought Reese out for conversation. Sometimes they talked about personal things and sometimes issues related to his work.

“Do you think that I can make a push for my label to let me change my sound?” he had asked her yesterday.

“Not yet,” Reese had answered. “The last thing you want is a fight with your label. Kelly Clarkson’s best album was overlooked because she battled Clive Davis over it and he made sure it tanked. What you need is what you’re already doing: getting the fans on board. When the label sees that the people are on board, they’ll get on board too. Keep doing what you’re doing and we’ll focus on drawing in the fans, especially if you continue the encore set showcasing your new sound.”

She loved that Sterling respected her advice. Where most women reveled in knowing men thought they were beautiful, Reese never felt so beautiful as when a guy thought she was smart. Sterling made her feel that way. He had also told her she was beautiful the night they shared pizza in his suite.

What she didn’t know is what all this meant. Or how she should feel about it. They had grown closer, but he hadn’t said whether or not he bought her a ticket to California. He didn’t declare his feelings for her and hadn’t asked her on a date. Not that there was much opportunity, but there were pockets of time here and there. Reese’s insecurities often rose up like a swarm of critical voices in her head, reminding her that he had said she wasn’t his type. The last thing she wanted was to hope for something romantic when all Sterling wanted was friendship.

“Are you in the bunk room now?” Staci asked.

“Yep, and you saw my bunk. But I’ll start in the front and work my way back so you can see it all.”

Reese pushed open the door and the guys got louder. All four of them were sprawled on the couch and floor with game controllers. Sterling didn’t usually play video games and she was a little surprised to see him looking so relaxed.

If he had been hard to resist without knowing him, spending more time with him and getting to know more of who he was made it totally worse. Plus seeing him play almost every night …yeah. The more space, the better.

Reese pushed the button to turn the camera outward and scanned it over the room. A chorus of shouts broke out. Chuck and Moby started wrestling over something. She passed them and went to the driver.

“This is Brett, the driver. Brett, don’t you dare look up from the road. But say hi to my best friend, Staci.”

“Hi, Staci,” Brett said. Reese could see his smile in the way his cheeks lifted.

“You finish that book of crossword puzzles I got you yet?”

“Not yet,” Brett said. “But over halfway.”

Reese had gotten it on a whim when she was checking out at Ross with Morgan back in Atlanta. The book of crosswords was right by the registers in that death trap area meant to get you buying things you didn’t need. But Reese had a feeling that not many people thought much about Brett. Based on the way his face lit up when she gave it to him, she had guessed right.

Turning back to the main lounge area, she had to raise her voice. Chuck and Moby were still wrestling. “Hey! Can you boys say hi to my best friend, Staci? And maybe stop beating each other up?”

They straightened up and Moby stopped trying to punch Chuck’s arms, running a hand over his hair. “Hi, Staci,” they chorused. Except for David, who just waved.

Staci laughed. “Is this the man cave part of the bus?”

“Not always,” Reese said. “Just at this very moment.”

Moby hopped up and came around to stand with his face close to Reese. She could smell his cologne, a little too strong. He broke out in a grin. “Well, hello, Reese’s friend Staci.”

“She can’t see you. Hang on.”

Reese pushed the button again so that the camera flipped, showing her face and Moby’s smushed together. Staci laughed again and put a hand over her mouth. Moby pulled the phone out of Reese’s hand and sat down in one of the chairs under the big screen, tossing his controller back to the couch.

“Reese did not mention her hot best friend back home. Did she tell you about me?”

“Absolutely nothing at all. Who are you?” Which was a lie. Since Reese had told Staci just about every detail, mundane or not.

“Ouch!” Moby said. “I’m not important enough to tell your best friend about, Reese?”

Reese shrugged. The guys had paused the game and Moby waved them on. “Play without me. I’ll finish up the bus tour. Can I?”

Reese didn’t protest because she knew it was a losing battle. Moby, still grinning, disappeared into the bunk room. Such a flirt.

“It’s a four-person game, dummy,” Chuck said, calling after him.

“I’m out too,” Sterling said. “Now you’re even.”

He stood, setting his controller on the table and stretching his arms above his head. Reese tried to ignore how his T-shirt rose just above the waistband of his jeans.

“You should probably chase him down or you might never get your phone back,” Sterling said. “Is that your friend who was with you when we first met?”

Reese groaned, starting to head back through the bus with Sterling on her heels. “Didn’t I put it in my contract that we weren’t going to ever talk about that night again?”

“We definitely did not. What would I have to tease you about otherwise?”

When they moved through the bunk room and into Sterling’s room, Reese’s smile disappeared. Blonde and pink hair cascaded over Sterling’s pillow. She couldn’t see Morgan’s face because the covers were pulled up mostly over it.

Morgan was sleeping in Sterling’s bed?

Quietly, Reese made her way to the back lounge, where she could hear the low rumble of Moby’s voice. She felt Sterling behind her, but he was quiet too.

So what if Morgan was napping in Sterling’s bed? It should not have made jealousy feel like a rabid animal clawing its way through her chest.

Reese focused on making her face neutral as they moved into the back lounge, Sterling closing the door behind them. Moby hardly glanced up, totally focused on the phone in his hand as he sprawled on the couch.

Sterling touched Reese’s arm. His eyes were serious and intense, all the joking from before gone. “Hey. Morgan has back issues. I told her she could take a nap in my bed since it’s bigger and more comfortable.”

Reese gave him a smile and shrug that she hoped looked casual. “Whatever. You don’t need to explain it to me. Moby! I need my best friend back.”

Moby pulled the phone to his chest as Reese stepped away from Sterling, feeling a release at the separation. Being near him right now was doing awful things to the pit of her stomach, despite his explanation.

“I don’t want to give her back.”

“I’ll give you her number. You can call her later. I want my phone.”

Moby wiggled his eyebrows at the screen. “You hear that? Reese sold you out. She’s going to give me your number. I hope it’s okay that I call you. Because I am definitely calling you.”

Reese rolled her eyes as Staci’s giggle fluttered out into the room. Pulling the phone from Moby, she shoved him over so she could sit on the couch. “Did you get enough of a tour?”

Sterling stood by the door still, hands stuffed into his pockets. Moby clapped a hand over his arm and tugged him toward the door. Sterling tossed a look over his shoulder at Reese, but she did not look at him before he left. She could not look at him, afraid her ridiculous and unwarranted jealousy was all over her face.

“That bus is sick. Now tell me about Moby. Are you really giving him my number?”

“Do you want me to?”

“What’s he like?”

Reese sighed. “Total flirt. But very nice. I mean, he seems nice. How has it only been three days? I feel like I’ve been on tour for like three years.”

“That bad, huh? Boohoo, girl on the biggest tour in North America right now. By the way, fantastic job so far with the videos. You have been killing it with his social media presence.”

“You’ve been watching?” Reese grinned.

“Not the whole videos. I like Sterling’s music, but not that much. I mean I’ve been watching what you’ve been doing. Kevin is happy. Did you know that the tour has practically sold out in the last day?”

“What?” Reese felt that same stupid smile spreading over her face.

“You should probably pay more attention. This is your job, right?”

“I need to go check. That’s amazing. I’ve been linking to the tour page in the two videos I did. I guess people are taking notice.”

“They are. How’s it going on a more personal level? Is your heart girded?”

Reese made a face. “Uh, I’m working on it.”

“That look tells me that you’re failing.”

Reese dropped her voice. “I like him way too much. I mean, you’ve seen how charismatic he is. And how attractive. But getting to know him, he’s just really great. It’s hard. I can’t like him. Nothing can come of it.”

“Why not?”

“I’ll lose my job for one. I can’t date a client.”

“He won’t always be your client. Sounds like an excuse.”

“It’s just not … realistic. New subject. I don’t want to talk anymore about that.”

Staci nodded. “Noted. How is it being on a bus with a bunch of smelly dudes?”

“Cramped. We’ll be in hotels some nights, so I’m making the most of that. Oh, and there’s another girl here, Morgan. She’s not you, but she’s really great.”

Reese’s words felt flat and she knew that it was because of the fact that she had just seen Morgan in Sterling’s bed. That visual was hard to unsee. No matter how much she wanted to not care or not think of him that way, the immediate gut punch made it hard to deny. She was jealous. Pure, unadulterated jealousy. It was a very ugly emotion and she felt ashamed of feeling it when she had no right to.

“As long as you don’t replace me. Or run off with a rock star and never return,” Staci said.

“Ha ha. Anyway, he lives in Nashville, so if I ran off, it would be like in town.”

“So, you are thinking of running off with him?”

Reese wished that they weren’t face-timing but just talking so that Staci couldn’t see her face. Looking at Staci’s smirk didn’t help.

“Curtain.” Reese moved her open hand in front of her face from her forehead to her neck, mimicking the movement a theater curtain would make. Staci rolled her eyes.

This was their thing. A sort of personal joke that brought a close to any conversation that felt too personal or that they weren’t ready to have yet. They would call curtain, like it was the finale to a performance. The end.

“Fine,” Staci said. “Will you at least text me more? If anything changes, I want to know. Remember the little people. I miss you, girl.”

Reese thought about how much had already changed. Or, at least, shifted. The schoolgirl crush she’d had on Sterling had bloomed into real feelings for him. Her jealousy over Morgan being in his bed told her that. But Reese also felt it in the moments she shared with Sterling, both large and small.

Every time they had a conversation, he peeled back a little more of his layers, letting her know him more. She did the same, trying to remind herself that vulnerability meant strength. She believed that. But it also meant trusting someone. And she didn’t know that she could trust Sterling not to break her heart.

Physically, nothing had happened since the night in Atlanta when he put his foot on hers under the table and they had hugged on the balcony. It had taken Reese hours to fall asleep the night before when she left his room. She couldn’t stop thinking about the way his arms felt, wrapped around her. His scent had gotten caught on her shirt. As she had rolled over in bed, it would rise up to meet her, making her heart thud again and sending her thoughts down a maddening road.

“You’ll never be the little people. And I’ll try to be better about calling or texting. Okay?”

Reese wanted to tell her about the potential trip to California with Sterling. But he hadn’t said anything about it after bringing it up. Maybe he didn’t want her to come. He seemed to appreciate the offer, but that didn’t mean anything. And it would probably be weird to show up to an intervention for his little sister she had never met, right?

After she hung up, Reese curled up onto the couch. She felt like her life was hurtling forward at a speed rivaling the bus. It had to be something about traveling in close quarters with people for an extended period of time.

She didn’t realize she had fallen asleep until the door closing had her jolting up. Sterling froze just by the door. “Sorry! I didn’t realize you were sleeping.”

“That makes two of us,” Reese said, yawning.

“Can I sit?” Sterling asked.

Reese nodded and shifted so that her legs were pulled closer into her body, giving him room on the small couch. She wondered if Morgan was still sleeping in Sterling’s room. And how far they were from New Orleans. She wanted nothing more than to be off the bus.

“I wanted to ask if you were serious about coming to L.A. with me.” Sterling’s face looked impassive, but Reese could see a faint sheen of sweat on his forehead. His fingers had that gray pick out again, flipping over his knuckles.

“I meant it. But you don’t have to take me. No pressure. Especially if you’d rather take someone else.”

She met his eyes. Hopefully he couldn’t see the way her pulse had become erratic just thinking about taking a trip with him. She waited for him to say that he wanted to take Morgan instead. He didn’t.

“Okay,” he said.

That didn’t tell her whether he meant okay, they were going to go to L.A. together or okay, she had given a satisfactory answer. Reese didn’t want to ask. She realized it was because she would be disappointed if he didn’t say he was planning to take her with him.

“I also wanted you to know that I wasn’t sleeping with Morgan. I meant what I said. I offered her my bed for a nap because her back was hurting.”

“Okay,” Reese said, feeling a small satisfaction that she was giving him the same frustrating non-answer that he had just given her.

“I didn’t want you to think that it was something that it wasn’t.”

“Sterling, who you have in your bed is not my business. I’m here for a job. I work for you. What you choose to do personally isn’t something I need to worry about unless it impacts your public image.”

These words were all true. Reese should have stopped with this. But her hurt forced out more words that she immediately wished she could reel back into her mouth.

“Anyway, she does seem to be more your type.”

A tension flooded the room almost immediately. His jaw clenched as he stood, crossing the room to the door. Reese did not look up at him.

“Thanks for clearing that up and reminding me of my place. See you later.”

As he closed the door behind him, leaving her alone in the lounge, a heaviness descended in Reese’s chest and her eyes burned.

What she said was a good reminder to herself as much as it was to him. So why did she feel so incredibly sad and guilty?