Chapter 10

A day passedand I didn’t leave.

Two days, and I was still here.

By day four I was able to look Hannah straight in the face again without getting butterflies in my stomach and without being turned on immediately as if someone had pressed a button on me.

The faces of those two men had become part of my dreams since that night I saw them. A billion thoughts ran through my head at any given moment now—it’s wrong, it’s right, it’s okay if it’s consensual, it’s no big deal, people can make their own choices, they’re all adults here, nobody’s getting hurt—on the contrary, people are having a great time—and many, many more things. My brain wouldn’t shut up about it as I tried to come to terms with what I’d seen that night Mama Si took me to her spy rooms. I couldn’t figure out what the hell to do, or what I wanted to do—whether to run away screaming, just like Hannah said that night of the party, or sit tight and swallow this because I knew exactly what it meant to live in the Paradise now, to be treated like royalty, and to make the money I was making while a team of people served me?—

Actually, no. That’s a lie.

I knew very well what I wanted.

I wanted to stay.

The problem was, I had no clue whether I was okay with entertaining people the way the girls here apparently did. The problem was, I had no clue if I could ever do what Mama Si needed me to do, and part of me thought I couldn’t, and an even bigger part of me thought I could—so that terrified me more than anything else.

I could. And there were times I wanted to. Not talking about Melahni or Celia at all—I meant Hannah. Reading children’s books and standing by some strangers while they worked were a definite yes in my book by now. Abso-fucking-lutely if it meant I got to live in this place and secure my future with this money.

But would I agree to do what Hannah had done in that strange room with those gorgeous lights and those gorgeous men on a silver dining table?

That was the most important question I still had no answer for.

On day five,she came to my door again.

I knew it was Mama Si by the knocking alone. Just like last time, I was getting ready for dinner with the girls, constantly trying to guess who wouldn’t be with us tonight, who had clients waiting for them to be entertained. I was constantly trying to guess if Hannah would be away from the evening specifically.

Tonight, though, I wouldn’t be present at dinner because I opened the door and Mama Si stood in front of me proudly, wearing one of those black, broad-brimmed hats with dry flowers on the top, red lipstick and black gloves attached to her dress.

In her colorful eyes I saw what she was going to say even before she moved those lips.

“Are you ready, Fall Doll? Because I have a client for you.”

Dizzy.

I don’t know how I moved, but I was sitting at the edge of the bed, staring at the floor, wondering what the hell I was doing while Mama Si told me to breathe. That it was okay. That I was safe.

I wasn’t, though. Not really.

I turned to her. “Will you be watching?”

The question took both of us off guard, but the thought of being watched from those spy rooms made my insides crawl.

“I can only spy on clients who have signed a written consent—and this client has specifically asked not to be watched. That automatically extends to you, Fall Doll,” she kindly said, raising her gloved hand to touch my chin.

“W-w-what will I be doing? Is it…is it…” I couldn’t even say it.

“Sex?” she said, and every inch of me rose in goose bumps as I nodded. “Sex is part of what we offer here, but this time I’m not sure. This one’s a bit…different. You see, his friends have bought the package for this client, and they’re the ones who’ve given me his requirements. All he said was that he’d want to spend the night with someone new, someone who hadn’t spent as much time in my Paradise as the other dolls. It’s so lucky that you happen to be here at the right time.” She smiled again. “I’m not sure exactly what he’ll ask of you, but I’m sure he’ll be the perfect match. I’ve seen the pictures, doll. I’ve read his report. Safety for my dolls comes first, and he’s one hundred percent safe. Absolutely wonderful. I think you’re going to like him just fine.”

I blinked and blinked and blinked…

“You’re always welcome to walk out, Fall Doll, but I strongly suggest that you don’t. I strongly suggest you try it tonight, meet your client, see how you feel. See what he wants. See what you want,” she told me. “And then you can make a better decision.”

I stood up on shaky legs, her words like cold water on my burning soul. “Deal,” I found myself saying. “That’s exactly what I’ll do.”

“Good. Adam will be here shortly. Good luck, Fall Doll,” Mama Si said, taking my face in her hands for a moment. “Make me proud.” She leaned in and gave me a peck on the lips.

A surge of energy went through me, which was probably the surprise, but I was too shocked to say anything, do anything other than just look at her as she turned around and left the room.

And I could have sworn on my life that when she touched my face just now, her hands were bare.