17. Kadence

Things calmdown again over the next few days. After my outburst, Rafferty is clearly seeing me and our relationship in a new light. I'm not sure exactly what that is, but it feels less…fraught. I don't know how else to explain it.

I think knowing that he wants to keep me around longer has taken the pressure off. Especially after he came into my room the other morning and clarified that he actually doesn't want a perfect illusion twenty-four seven.

He wants me.

And I'm deceiving him.

In other ways, there's a different kind of pressure, and it's getting worse because it's all on me. Rafferty has no idea that I've been manipulating him from the start. That my intention all along was to humiliate him and his good-for-nothing son.

But he's nothing like Logan. And this stopped being a game quite some time ago.

I try my best not to think about it. Nothing irreversible has happened yet, after all. I haven't even taken any photos or videos. Yes, I know the truth, and when I remember what's really going on, it's getting to the point where it just sickens me.

So I do my best not to dwell on it. I read, I walk, I take naps, and I post on socials. If I didn't have this sword of Damocles hanging over my head, it would be the most epic vacation I've ever had in my life.

When I get really down, I remind myself that Rafferty need never know if I don't tell him. I'm aware that getting revenge on Logan was important to me, but when the time comes, I can just decide to do nothing. This can simply be our little secret. It was only ever meant to be a fling, and if that's going to be for a few weeks or the whole summer instead of a weekend, then that makes me lucky. Perhaps this doesn't have to be revenge. It can just be something for me.

It's not as if I've had a lot of luxuries in my life that didn't come from my rotten parents. Maybe I'm owed a little bit of good fortune and happiness.

It seems unlikely, but I can pretend for a while.

That's another thorny, complicated thought I keep having. What we're sharing is important to Rafferty. It's not like he's rushing out to buy a bisexual flag for the next Pride parade, but he's certainly had a pretty massive revelation about himself.

Thanks to me.

My intentions might have been nefarious, but his attraction has been real. I know sexuality evolves. However, I think this revelation has been quite out of the blue to him. If I hadn't had this vendetta and pursued him without pause, he might never have realized he could be this strongly attracted to a man.

I can't help but be a little proud of that, even if the circumstances are less than ideal.

"We're going out tonight."

I look up from the chaise lounge that I've come to think of as mine. Rafferty's leaning against the doorframe of the study with a smirk on his face.

"We are?" I say as I slide my bookmark into place.

He nods and licks his lips. "We're going to a party."

It's clear he doesn't mean for cocktails and dancing.

My heartbeat picks up as I stand. "Is that right, Daddy?" He nods again. "What shall I wear?"

He reaches out for my hand, and I let him take it. "Let's go get you dressed, hmm? I want to make sure you look absolutely divine when I show you off."

Although the majority of the clothes I've been wearing were ones bought by him and he's made quite a few suggestions since I arrived, this is the first time he's actually come and dressed me. I relax and feel like a real doll as he stands me in front of the closet. For a while, he peruses what's on the hangers as well as in the drawers, obviously taking his time in making up his mind.

I don't ask when the party starts or where it is or anything. That's not my concern. These things usually start late anyway, and it's only early evening still. We'll get there whenever Rafferty wants to. I sink deeper into my relaxed state, comforted by the fact that I don't have to take care of anything.

Normally, I'm meticulous about what I wear out in public. However, knowing that everything in this room is exquisite makes it easier to trust that the man knows what he's doing. Or at least will have the good sense to try a few different items to see which works best.

Ultimately, though, he goes for very little clothing at all.

The skirt he slips over my hips has a thick elastic red waistband threaded with gold. Many layers of red silk fall down to my feet, which he's put in delicate gold heels. He places strings of pearls around my neck and wrists and matches them with my own favorite pearl earring. Finally, he pours a shimmering lotion into his hands that he rubs all over my naked torso and arms. I glimmer like a Christmas ornament and feel like some kind of genie that's been released from his bottle.

He washes his hands before coming back to me. "Perfect," Rafferty murmurs, gently rubbing his thumb against my lower lip. "Would you like to do anything different with your make-up, pretty doll?"

"Yes, Daddy," I say without hesitation. If we're going out, there's no way my regular day face will be good enough.

He smiles warmly and places his hand on my lower back to guide me toward my dressing table. Then he sits on the end of the bed to watch me, but I don't feel rushed. In fact, I preen under his watchful eye as he drinks me in.

Luckily, I had a good neutral base look on today, so it's easy enough for me to update with lots of gold sparkles and hints of dramatic red around my eyes. I add some false eyelashes and a strong crimson gloss that I plan to mess up soon enough, and in no time at all, we're good to go.

I thrum with excitement the entire drive there. Rafferty called his chauffeur, so he's in the back seat with me. We don't talk much, but the quiet is actually pretty soothing. Especially as Rafferty has his hand under my skirt and between my legs, idly caressing my inner thigh as he looks out the window.

Of course I don't have any underwear on. Where would the fun be in that?

I expected another house party like Jason and Markus's, and I'm not disappointed. This place doesn't have the seclusion of their home, but it's still a huge mansion that makes my jaw drop as we approach. From the number of cars outside, I'd guess it's already well attended, but a smaller affair than when Rafferty and I met.

The car stops, but Rafferty doesn't get out right away. Instead, he turns to me, removing his hand from my leg and then touching my chin gently. My heart skips a beat.

"Are you ready to play, Kiki?" he asks directly.

"Yes, Daddy," I say breathlessly.

"You remember your colors?"

"Yes, Daddy."

"And?" He raises his eyebrows. "How do you feel now?"

"Green, Daddy," I say, putting it mildly.

It's not like I've forgotten that our first scene was very public. I'm sure Rafferty trusted those people to be discreet, and if this party is more intimate, that suggests an even tighter circle. But the fact remains that he wants to be seen with me. He wants to play with me…and I assume with others.

In a way, because this is his decision to come out like this, it takes the sting out of anything I was ever planning to do to him. I won't have the chance to make anything scandalous as this is already public to a certain extent. True, it's different from his wife or the board of his company knowing, but it's not a complete secret either. That first encounter could have been brushed off as a wild frenzy of passion.

A repeat is deliberate.

It's a relief. Not that I wanted to humiliate him for a long time now. But it's like he's put the safety catch on and I'm being let off the hook for any responsibility.

I feel free.

And that's before we embark on any mind-blowing sex.

"Good boy," Rafferty says, his eyes roaming over my face like I'm a marvel. "Are you ready to go have some fun?"

"Yes, Daddy," I say.

Our driver opens the door for us, and I slide out first, followed by Rafferty. He keeps his hand on the small of my back as we approach the front door and are let inside. There are people milling around the entranceway, and I try not to act too smug as several heads turn our way.

Yes, I'm stunning. But it's actually a different kind of satisfaction knowing that I'm not here for myself this time.

I'm here to be Rafferty's.

We take our time wandering through the house. There's a bar set up in the living room, and Rafferty gets us both glasses of sparkling apple juice. He ensured we had a decent meal before we left as well as plenty of water. We both know I'll need to be hydrated for what's in store, even if I'm fuzzy on the details.

Rafferty probably doesn't have a plan. I get the feeling he's going to go with the flow and see what opportunities present themselves.

We're not short on inspiration. Plenty of people are already in the thick of it, with lots of partially clothed or just fully naked people finding pleasure in all kinds of ways. It doesn't take long at all for me to feel fully aroused, especially with Rafferty's hand still glued to my lower back.

It also becomes obvious very quickly that he's brought me to an all-male event. Those are the norm, so it's not like I'm uncomfortable. It's just interesting how much I was thinking about the previous party being gender-inclusive when I arrived there. Usually, I'd have to psych myself up to come to an event like this and prepare for any backlash.

But Rafferty is here by my side, literally touching me in a clearly possessive way. Being visibly his helps me to relax. It's unfortunate to admit, but the simple truth is that guys will treat me better because I belong to such a hot, manly Daddy.

It's in that moment I realize the implications of him choosing to come to a party like this. If it was mixed gender, he could brush off his attendance and say he was interested in the women. Coming to an entirely male space is a huge step for him on whatever sexuality journey he's going through.

This is a big deal for both of us, and I can't help but love that we're sharing the experience together.

"What do you like?" he murmurs in my ear, looking around the room.

"Everything," I reply truthfully.

Seeing people get horny makes me horny. I'm a pretty simple creature like that. It's probably why I like being a doll so much and letting people do whatever they want to me. It isn't really about what they do. It's just that they're doing it at all.

I sense his pause and glance over my shoulder to see him licking his lips. "Would you ever fuck a pretty girl for me?" he asks.

I do consider his question for a moment. "Yes, Daddy," I say eventually. "For you, yes."

"You'd enjoy that?" he clarifies.

I half shrug. "I'd enjoy your enjoyment, yes. I'm always going to be attracted to men first and foremost, but I can still appreciate a woman. Although, I'd prefer it if I could still be a doll and she was riding me."

His eyes go wide, and it proves my point. His excitement titillates me. I think we're both a bit surprised by my answer, however. I mean, I've known I was gay since I found out what that word meant. The only struggle I ever faced was being painfully aware of how my parents made it clear that it might be an acceptable lifestyle for cheap ruffians, but it would never be allowed within our family.

Internally, I always knew exactly who I was and was never ashamed.

So I've never really considered having sex with a woman before. In that moment, though, I realize it would be no different to whatever—or whoever—Rafferty has in mind tonight. If he wants to share me, I'll still be pleasuring him. Kiki doesn't really care how she gets used like that. In fact…pushing my boundaries somehow feels even more in tune with the way my kink excites me. Like it's almost verging on humiliation. I am nothing but Rafferty's sex toy, and he can do with me as he pleases.

More to the point…I trust him to do it. That he won't go too far.

That, unlike his son, he'll still respect me afterward. Actually, he might respect me even more. Like me more. Want me more.

I give myself a mental shake. That is way too many thoughts to be rattling around my head. I came here to make everything go quiet. I want to lose myself with my Daddy in physical pleasure. I want to do anything he desires. He owns me. I left all my responsibilities back home.

Back at Rafferty's home, I mean.

Nodding, he looks around the room once more. I can tell he's pleased by the tiny smile that's playing at the corner of his mouth. It's not much, but I like to think I can read him pretty well by now. When he wants me to, of course. There are times when he's a total brick wall, and that's okay if he needs that privacy.

I'll take what little insights I can get.

"Not tonight," he assures me, referring to his desire to see me get fucked by a young lady. That's pretty much a given, considering our company. "But maybe another time."

It's ridiculous how pleased I am by the thought of ‘another time.' This may just be a fling, but I don't think the end is in sight quite yet.

To be honest, it is a relief that he's taking that particular card off the table right now. It would be a big step for me to have sex with a woman, and he's already experiencing so many new things already. I want to ask if this is his first party with someone. Stanley and I did a number of public scenes. I think back to my and Rafferty's first night, but that was different. We were strangers then. Now we care about each other, no matter how much we're trying to deny it.

It's not the sex that causes jealousy, in my experience. Sometimes with Stanley it would be fine, and we'd have a lot of fun. But there were times when he made me feel like shit…like when he wandered off or just flat out ignored me.

It was the lack of jealousy on his part that was the problem. I can see that now.

Suddenly, I worry I've gotten in over my head. I'm confused within myself about what I want. I'm okay to be passed around, but I want my Daddy to still want me. Is that fair? Are we there yet in our ‘relationship'? We're not a couple, after all. What if Rafferty sees another pretty boy he likes and wants to go off and fuck him, leaving me alone? How's that going to make me feel? What if…?

"Hey, hey," Rafferty murmurs in my ear, pulling me closer. "Kadence. What's wrong? Do you need to leave?"

"I…uh…"

I look around, feeling like an idiot. Fuck. How can I really have been so mad at Logan for not understanding my needs? Don't get me wrong. He was still a dick.

But I'm a mess.

Panic is clawing up my throat. However, Rafferty gently presses a kiss to my cheek, and it shocks me into gasping for air.

"Sweet boy," he says softly. "Talk to me."

For a minute, I just breathe. We're by a wall, so enough out of the way not to be disturbed by anyone or really be noticed at all. After several deep breaths, the dizziness subsides. I'm ashamed that I cling to him, but I've been vulnerable so many times in front of him by this point. What's one more humiliation?

"Just…just don't leave me alone," I say. That's it, that's all I need. I don't want to spoil any of his fun. But we came here together, and I don't want to feel abandoned.

His eyes go wide, and he flicks them back and forth over my face. "Of course I'm not going to leave you alone," he says in a firm voice that sends a shiver over my exposed flesh. "You're mine, Kiki doll. I was hoping we could play with some other people, but if you need some privacy, you'll have it. I'm also equally comfortable bending you over the nearest piece of furniture and showing all these strangers exactly who you belong to."

My jaw drops, and my mouth goes dry, and he fixes me with a challenging stare. Like he's almost daring me to tell him that I'm not his or that he doesn't want me.

His words have jumbled up in my brain, and I'm not quite sure how to respond. "Y-yes, Daddy," I tell him shakily.

His expression softens, and he cups the side of my face. "Yes, what, Kiki?"

I take another deep breath and repeat his words. "Yes, I'm yours, Daddy. We can play however you want. I just want to play together."

He swallows as his gaze blazes into mine. "Good boy. I'm really proud of you for telling Daddy what you need, Kiki. I have no interest in leaving you to pursue anyone else. In fact, for tonight at least, the only person I want to fuck is my beautiful boy. If Kiki would enjoy being played with by some other men and pretty boys, I'd like to see how much you can take. I want to watch you be used, knowing that you belong to me and I control your pleasure. Your body is mine. I want to pass you around, knowing that it's me who gets to take you home and only me."

He licks his lips, having barely blinked the entire time he was speaking. He's studying me for every single tiny reaction, I can just feel it. As a doll, I don't emote at all if I can manage it. But I'm not quite there yet.

"What color does that make you feel?" he asks.

"Green," I utter immediately. My body is vibrating, and my breathing is shallow. He gets it. He gets it.

It doesn't matter what I do with whom because it will actually all be for him. My body is his to use however he likes, so long as he's there. My enjoyment comes from knowing he's being turned on. By the power he holds over me.

So long as he doesn't cross over the line and abuse that power.

I feel my throat getting thick and my eyes stinging. As vulnerable as I've been with him, I don't want to cross that line either. I definitely don't want anyone else here to see me crying. But his deep, nuanced understanding of how I tick has unlocked something inside me.

"I love you, Daddy," I say.

It's one of Kiki's pull-string phrases. It's not real. But it goes some way to conveying how I'm feeling right now.

Rafferty opens and closes his mouth once before speaking. "So perfect," he says, stroking my hair. I wonder if he also wanted to say something else but didn't have the best words right now. "Okay. Do you need some time? Or shall we find a space to get settled and see if anyone catches our eye?"

I can't help but adore the way he puts that. As if we're a team with a unified goal rather than him being the one in charge and making all the calls. It makes me feel the opposite of abandoned.

"I'm ready to play, Daddy," I assure him.

He gently caresses my cheekbone with his thumb. He knows not to rub too hard and smudge my make-up because he's amazing.

"Let's go get comfortable, then. Daddy wants to show his perfect Kiki doll off."

I can already feel myself relaxing and slipping away into a light and fuzzy headspace as he leads me by the hand through the house. I get the feeling he might be parading me around, but I keep my gaze unfocused, like a walking sex doll would. So I feel more than see the looks we get, my skin tingling at the attention. But Rafferty's grip is firm and grounding.

After a while, he lowers himself into a plush armchair, pulling me to sit between his open legs, my back leaning against his chest. His stiff cock presses through his clothes against my lower back, where his hand usually sits. He also pulls my legs apart, then he positions my rigid arms at ninety-degree angles and turns my head slightly up and to the left, presenting me to show that I'm not moving. That I'm just an inanimate object, available for others to come and enjoy.

The final step in his preparation is to flick my skirt up and reveal my hard cock, which he wraps his hand around. He rubs his thumb over the slit, encouraging clear precum to bead at the top and leak out.

He kisses my neck, but I don't shiver. I'm just a doll now. I won't move unless he positions me. I won't speak until he expects me to.

"You look so fucking beautiful," he hisses against my ear as he strokes me. "Every single man here wants you. But I get to decide who plays with my toy. I'm the one who gets to take you home and play with you whenever I want, however I want."

"Yes, Daddy," I say tonelessly, fanning his ego. He's getting off on his power over me just as much as I am submitting to his will. His touch makes me want to scream, but I breathe slowly and evenly, sinking farther into my head space.

My gaze is settled on a painting on the opposite wall. But I can't miss when a twink who looks a little older than me skips up, a bear of a man leisurely strolling behind him. They're both completely naked, and I can feel the energy that binds them together. They're at least here together, if not a well-established couple.

"Good evening, sir," the boy says with a mischievous grin. He drops to his knees and clasps his hands together under his chin. "That's a very pretty doll you're playing with there. My Master said it was okay for me to ask if you're sharing it."

The use of the word ‘it' sends makes me want to tremble. I'm just plastic and synthetic hair. I run on batteries. I was made for just one purpose.

To make others feel good.

"Aren't you polite," Rafferty marvels fondly. He's still casually playing with my dick, keeping me rock hard. I feel him look up at the older, bigger man. "What would you and your boy like to do to my doll?"

Suddenly, the bear reaches down and grabs the twink's jaw. "This little slut is a champion cocksucker. It's all he's good for. I want to watch him guzzle down that pretty thing's cream while I fuck his whore hole."

The twink giggles as the bear releases his face. He looks up at the gruff man with adoration. "Yes, Master. I'm so sorry. I just love being fucked so much, and I'm so very good at it."

The bear sneers at him. "You're nothing but a cum bucket who needs filling."

"I'm sorry," the twink apologizes breathlessly, his tone still cheerful and polite. "I just love you so much, Master."

"Stop talking and fill that mouth with this toy's cock, now," the bear says. I catch him looking at Rafferty, giving him a nod.

Asking permission.

This couple's vibe is so different from what Rafferty and I have, and it's not exactly what I'm into. But being drawn into their scene is extremely hot and it hasn't even started yet.

Presumably Rafferty nods back because the next thing I know, he lets me go and the twink launches himself at me, sucking down my cock like his life depends on it.

Dear lord, he's good. He moans as his master yanks his hips up so he's kneeling rather than sitting. They've obviously already prepped as he pushes his chubby cock inside him without hesitation and starts fucking him aggressively.

"Take it," he grunts. "Take it, you fucking trash!"

Rafferty wraps his hand around my throat, his breath tickling my ear.

"God, you look amazing," he whispers so only I can hear. "You love that, don't you? That boy knows how to take care of my toy. He's playing so nicely with him."

"Yes, Daddy," I utter.

It would be so easy to chase the high and come quickly, but I know without being told that's not what anybody wants. I have to wait for permission. This is just the start of the show. I have to pace myself.

As it turns out, though, the bear master isn't interested in taking his time. He pants and grunts as he fucks his boy hard, gnashing his teeth before he juts his chin at Rafferty.

"Tell that pretty doll to fill this good-for-nothing whore with everything he's got."

Rafferty strokes my cheek. "Come for Daddy, Kiki. I know you can do it. You're perfect. You do everything Daddy says."

I try not to blink as I stop fighting and blow my load. The twink doesn't even choke, swallowing every drop like a pro. He's gasping and grinning as he pulls off, winking at me and Rafferty as his master comes in his ass with a roar.

Rafferty gently traces his fingers up and down my arm, giving the other two men time to collect themselves. The bear reaches down and grabs the twink's face again. But this time he pulls him into a filthy kiss.

"I love you," he grunts.

"I know, Master," the twink says happily.

The bear nods at us, and my heart swells. He doesn't say anything, but it feels like he's thanking us. He's telling me that I did good.

As they drift away, I don't need to guess what Rafferty's thinking because he's back to murmuring in my ear. "You were magnificent, Kiki. Daddy loved watching that boy play with your cock. He was so good at it, so hot. You loved it, didn't you?"

"Yes, Daddy," I croak, desperately trying to keep my cool.

This is already so much better than any party Stanley and I ever went to. This is completely the opposite of abandoning me. I feel like Rafferty McKenna and I are fusing together and becoming one being.

The next man who comes to us is a muscular gym rat who asks what Rafferty wants him to do to his doll. Rafferty gets me to move around so my head is in his lap. I expect him to make me suck his cock. But he just strokes my hair and tells me I'm beautiful while the gym rat takes his time eating me out and stretching me with his tongue. Then he fucks me. With a condom, of course, but it still leaves lube and spit dripping down my balls and thighs.

Rafferty asks me my color. I'm floating in a dream, but I tell him green. More men flock to us. He asks me my color after each one fucks me. When two of them want to double-team me, Rafferty is the one to reposition my tired, aching limbs so I can ride one of them while his buddy also penetrates me from behind.

Rafferty watches us, his hand resting just above the bulge in his pants. He hasn't touched himself once.

But he's ready for me now. I'm ready for him.

Unable to physically take much more, when he asks this time, I tell him my color is yellow, and he immediately wraps me in his arms.

"You were so incredibly perfect, Kadence," he says, holding a bottle to my lips and gently tipping cooling water down my throat. The use of my other name helps Kiki fade away. I want to be present now with Rafferty. I want to talk to my Daddy as he coddles me and tells me that I'm gorgeous and hot and better than he ever could have imagined.

I feel more like myself than I ever have before. This complicated kink of mine—the way I have to juggle my needs in my regular life and in scenes—doesn't seem so complicated anymore. Not with Rafferty. I've never felt so cherished and wanted in my life.

I don't care if this is just a summer fling. I don't care if he never comes out of the closet. For now, this thing we have…it's real.

Without speaking, I paw at his zipper. He understands, and within moments he has it open and shoves everything down so I can straddle his lap and ease his gloriously unsheathed length inside my well-stretched hole.

Everything those other men did was all just for my Daddy's pleasure. Everything was only for him. I wrap my arms around his neck, just enough strength in me for one last ride.

I undulate slowly, and he meets every thrust. Our eyes don't waver from each other. I stare into his soul as we move like the waves crashing on the shore.

"I love you, Daddy," I whisper again.

But this time I lean down and kiss him on the mouth to prove that it's really true.