16. Rafferty

It was perhaps tooearly to put Kadence to bed, but I know how exhausted I am and figure it would do us both good to have some space for the night.

I take some time clearing the dining room table. We didn't eat as much as I would have liked—especially Kadence—so I'll be sure and make up for that in the morning. I'd been easing off the big breakfasts as we settled into a more regular routine, but tomorrow I feel like I might make us omelets and sausages.

For now, though, I scrape the plates clean and load the dishwasher. Then I pour myself a measure of whiskey and go to sit out in the quiet nighttime of the patio.

So much for this being a simple sex-fueled affair. I should have known better. But I've never tried to pursue anything longer than one night with anyone since I got married. I foolishly thought I had this under control.

Nothing could be further from the truth.

God, I'm such a fucking cliché. Is this a mid-life crisis? Is that what's happening right now? I'm risking my marriage and my business for a young man—a man—I only met less than two weeks ago?

There are some hard facts I need to face, though. And funnily enough, I'm starting to see they don't necessarily involve Kadence, even if he's inspiring me right now.

This sham with Charleen has to end. I don't know if I want to come out—and I'm certainly not thinking of committing to anything with Kadence. But being with him has really shown me how trapped and unhappy I am. I'd rather be divorced and free to fuck any tasty minx I want than continue lying like we are.

And as for my company…trust my spicy little doll to say what no one on my board has had the guts to. I have dropped the ball when it comes to Paddle Creek. I've been listless, drifting. Sticking to a plan I made over a decade ago and now trying to abandon ship rather than fix all the damage I've caused.

When was the last time I truly built anything? I make investments all the time, but I've gotten so used to delegating all the details. I saw Paddle Creek as an easy coup—I wanted to sweep in and buy it out from under people's noses so I could reimagine it in my own image and make something bigger and better than Albertson.

All I've done is let people down. Stifled them. Choked them.

Perhaps it would be easier to sell it on to someone who could start over. But I'm beginning to feel quite strongly that this is my mess, and I need to fix it. That actually the idea of doing a one-eighty excites me.

I can invest capital from other ventures. I don't need to sell off the real estate I own at a premium, especially as Kadence is right. The town does have a reputation as being down on its luck. Why am I waiting to raze it all to the ground when I could just be expanding on what's already there?

We don't need another Albertson to appeal to straight, white, married couples with kids. Paddle Creek is exactly what it always has been and what it always should be. Eccentric. Bold. Audacious. It should be a queer haven and a tourist attraction.

In other words, exactly the kind of low-brow investment my board is going to hate.

They've always been one hundred percent behind my long-term goal of gentrifying the area. I've told them I'm basically giving up and going to sell what we've got for a profit. If I do this, I'll be lucky if they don't riot.

Tough. I'm the boss. I'm the Daddy. And I've got a hot young thing asleep in my house who's talking the most sense I've heard in years.

We don't need more of the same. We need to celebrate being different. Because I'm different, and there's no point in denying it any further.

This pretty doll, this kinky little brat, has rocked my world in more ways than I can count. So if this is some sort of mental breakdown…so be it. I'm done with the bullshit. I've been saying so for a long time now. Perhaps this is the catalyst I needed to start living that authentic life I've been yearning for.

But I don't have to make any big decisions right now. Tonight, I can just sip my whiskey and watch the stars. In the morning, Kadence and I will try again.

We've still got time.

By the third time I knock on the door, I start to get worried. "Kadence?" I call through the wood. Still nothing.

I promised myself that I would respect his boundaries, and despite saying on the first day that he better be prepared for me to barge in here and fuck him whenever I feel like it, that's not how our arrangement has worked out at all.

His lack of response is sending a chill down my spine. I thought we were okay after our blow-up last night. But could he have slipped out in the night without me noticing? I feel like I would have noticed. However, I'm not omnipotent.

"Kadence, please let me in," I try one last time. When he doesn't respond, I decide that it's my duty to check on him.

Pushing my way through the opened door into his room…I pause. My heart flips in my chest.

My boy is adorable.

He's asleep in a tangle of bedsheets, his curls sticking in all directions, his nightie slipping down his shoulder. I lick my lips and take in the peaceful tableau, feeling incredibly lucky that I'm privileged enough to get to see such an intimate sight.

He stirs, and I inhale sharply. I didn't mean to be a creep and spy on him while he was sleeping. "You didn't answer," I say as he blinks sleepily at me. "I'm so sorry. I was concerned."

More blinking, then a frown. "Oh, no," he says, his voice rough. "I didn't set my alarm. I'm so sorry, Rafferty. I'll get ready right now. You weren't mean to see this. I?—"

"Hey, hey," I interrupt, going to sit by his side. I rest my hand on his bare shoulder, his skin warm against mine. "You don't have to go anywhere, sleepy head. My only concern was your well-being. I didn't mean to intrude."

He's still frowning. "But…that's not the deal. I'm always supposed to be perfect for you."

There goes my heart again, doing somersaults. "You're perfect right now," I assure him. "I think we might have to change the rules a little if you're going to stay here longer. When it was just a couple of days, it seemed fun to have you be a doll all the time. But I don't want Kiki every waking moment. I want Kadence as well."

While he's staring at me, I take the opportunity to cup my hand against the side of his face and rub my thumb against his cheekbone.

"What's the new rule, then?" he asks uncertainly.

I chuckle softly. "Be Kiki whenever you want. But you're allowed to be comfortable as Kadence, too. We can talk about it, or you can decide. I just want you to be happy."

He bites his lip. "So you really don't want me to leave?" he asks quietly.

As I hug him to me, he tucks his face against my neck, and I rub his back. "I want you to stay as long as we're both having fun. For as long as this is working for us."

I know that's a pretty terrible answer, but I can't admit to him that I don't have all the answers. I just know that right now, everything in me is screaming that he has to stay. I need him by my side.

He doesn't answer me for a few moments, but then he nods against me. I sigh and hold him a little tighter.

"Can we just stay here for a while?" he asks.

Even though he can't see it, I grin and stroke his hair. "I'd love that," I admit truthfully. "Let's just take it easy, then I'll make us breakfast whenever you're ready."

"Don't you have meetings?" he asks.

I shrug. "Nothing important."

That's not entirely accurate, but after three decades of always putting the company first, they can deal with me taking a bit of a back seat for a few days. Especially while I work on dropping the bombshell on them regarding Paddle Creek.

I rearrange us so I'm sitting with my back against the pillows and headboard. Then I pull Kadence so he's snuggled against me, drape the covers over my legs and his body, and rest his head on my chest.

"Why don't you go back to sleep for a while, pretty doll."

He fiddles with the material of my Henley. "You're not mad about last night?" he asks. In that moment, he sounds so young and vulnerable.

Lifting his hand, I kiss the backs of his fingers. "I'm extremely glad you were honest with me," I tell him. "I listened to what you had to say, I promise. And if you don't want to leave, then I would very much like you to stay for as long as possible."

He exhales, his cheeks puffing out. "Okay, Daddy," he says eventually, his words soft and fragile.

"Good boy," I say, satisfied that the matter is closed.

When people get up in each other's business this much and this fast, there's bound to be friction. In fact, it would be incongruous if we didn't butt heads or have opinions about things.

It just goes to show that what we have is real. And that's what I wanted all along.

There might be a countdown looming over our heads, but for the time we do have together, I'm glad that it's genuine. I'm showing Kadence Hughes parts of myself I've never shown anyone before. We're sharing something deep and raw.

Whether he's Kadence or Kiki, I wouldn't want to be spending my time this summer with anyone else. I'll treasure every moment we can steal together.

As he drifts off in my arms, I refuse to think about how it's going to feel when he's gone.