17

Andre

Watching Mabel crumble right before me and retreat into the shell she'd been in when I'd first met her hurt my heart in a way that I couldn't put into words. That moment would stay with me forever and remind me never to worry about her anger at me for messing up and always, always put her first so she never felt pain like this again.

She couldn't even hear me as I tried to talk to her. She was like a doll, eating and going through the motions as she tried to hide the silent tears that ran down her cheeks. I didn't know what to do. I wanted to leave. I wanted to hug her and just comfort her, but I was worried I would make it worse.

And I couldn't make this any worse.

I handled paying even if I knew she wanted to treat me. She was working off muscle memory and wouldn't raise her head. She even shrank away from people as if she was trapped in her past.

Once we were in her carriage, I tried to hug her to me and she let me, but it was like it didn't register. She was… A doll.

When we reached her house, I helped her out and she quickly pulled her hand away. She went into a formal curtsey. "Thank you for escorting me, Commander Lessa. I bid you a good night and be safe returning home." She turned and went inside without even looking at me.

But all of her guards gave me a lot of looks and most were of death. Luckily, a few of them were my people. I wiped my eyes and focused on one of them. "If Lady Kathy is still awake, I need a moment to explain what happened so she can help the countess. I do not know that I can."

Understanding filled his eyes, probably seeing that I'd inadvertently done something and was just as upset. "I will go get her, sir."

I thanked him and was glad when Kathy came out a few minutes later. Even if it was embarrassing, I had to talk to her for Mabel's sake. We stepped off to the side in the yard where all the guards could still see us.

"What happened?" she demanded when I couldn't seem to get my mouth to work.

"I apologize for the lack of propriety and your brother can punch me later, but I just watched Mabel completely fall into herself and act like the scared, beaten woman I first met. I do not—you have to help her. Please."

"Of course. Just tell me, Andre," she worried.

"The phrases she talked about—warned you about. That's not a thing, My Lady. It was for between us as a couple."

"Oh—oh! Oh dear, and she told you that she… Oh, poor Mabel." She sighed when I nodded. "She is more innocent and childlike than a young girl sometimes. It's so hard to understand but also to know how to act around and protect. This is not your fault."

"It is. I knew she misunderstood but thought it was cute. I thought she'd be mad at me if I did not correct her for teasing her. I did not think—it was…" I wiped my eyes and looked up at the night. "I ruined our first dinner date. She was like a doll, Kathy. A doll moving out of habit and fear. It broke me to watch."

"Well, now you know, and you do better," she said gently. "Mabel's strong and was probably just embarrassed. I will tell her that—I will handle it. I promise. Go be the dashing commander and I would suggest maybe flowers."

"Keep me updated? Please? I cannot function thinking of her back as a doll. That was what she feared most."

"I will."

That was something.

"And my brother will not learn of this. Any of this." She shook her head when I went to argue. "This is just a silly misunderstanding and Colin holds on too tight. Leave it be or you will make me angry and embarrass Mabel more. She told me the wrong thing because she cared. Oh no, I am ruined."

I really liked the young woman, feeling better when she huffed and hurried after Mabel to help her. Yes, it was the right decision to tell her and ask for help. That was for sure.

And she did give me updates. She slipped notes to the guards who were my people and they delivered them to me. She made Mabel understand that it was a silly mistake, but Mabel wanted Ian and me to back off. She was actually upset with Ian and embarrassed with me.

I still sent flowers or something with a note that I missed her and to apologize over the next few days.

While I wanted to do nothing but sit outside Mabel's house and hope she would see me, unfortunately I had other things to do, and they were important too. Especially when it came time for the yearly meeting with all the ministers, the king, and his cabinet. It was the moment Ian had set up and everything was in place.

Which meant it was going to be an absolute shit show because that was how life was, and no matter the planning and effort put in, there was always a wild card or something we couldn't account for. To think otherwise was how fools died.

And I'd survived a lot never being a fool.

I was waiting with two dozen men in the wing nearest where the Minister of Finance was. There were another two dozen below us who would come in from another entrance. A few of his party were already picked up, and he would probably assume that they were late or simply wouldn't even notice them in the packed chamber.

Others weren't scheduled to be there, so it was easy to take them into custody the moment the meeting started. I had faith in the others we were working with that they handled those parts well. My people were well trained and Ian had faith in his knights as well.

When it was the Minister of Finance's turn, I raised my arm to give the signal we were going in soon. The moment Ian interrupted, that was the sign for us to go in and take the people we needed into custody.

And I was going right for the minister.

Simple, right?

Sure it was.

The minister verified everything was in order with his ministry and certified the legitimacy and authenticity of the budgets and finances of the kingdom.

"Well, since we know that your word means nothing, you are under arrest, Minister," Ian said loudly.

I was through the door before he said the second word and heading towards the minister.

And that was when all hell broke loose.

We were met with resistance we didn't expect, knights and guards of other nobles there daring to be so bold and brash to take on the police. Even if they didn't understand what was going on or thought something amuck, the fact they drew swords and came at us was extreme.

But I saw the smirk on the minister's face. He knew. This was leaked somehow and this was now a stunt. I didn't understand the politics of it, but it could get us killed.

"Stand down!" I bellowed at the knights and guards. "This is a legal and official investigation. We have court-ordered warrants." I pulled my weapon and pointed at the chest of the first knight. "And I am well within my rights and duty to shoot you dead for interfering. By the goddess and our king, the ultimate authority of Areca, I will."

Unfortunately, it didn't work. The fool came towards me and I shot him in the leg so he went down.

I also took his sword because that would actually be of better help than a revolver.

"Protect the commander," someone yelled, and two of the knights with us moved in front of me, blocking me from helping.

What was this madness now?

Ian must have realized this was some sort of setup when I did because he was coming from the other side of the group. He must have run over the divider between the sections or something, but he was working through the knights and guards.

I was distracted by him, in awe of how fluid he was. I'd forgotten how he moved, and watching him in action made me feel something. It had been so many years since I'd seen it. It was like watching a dance and magic all in one.

And it turned me on just as it had all those years ago when we were fighting in the war.

He kicked someone in the chest before using the heel of a sword he'd picked up from someone to knock out another knight. Then he stabbed the sword into someone's shoulder and punched another person all before most could make their first move.

Everyone was so busy fighting or protecting people—and apparently, I was someone to be protected—that I was one of the only people simply watching the whole scene play out… Which was why I saw something horrible.

I dropped my sword and pulled out my revolver. "Ian, down!"

He didn't even waste time trying to find me or think, simply dropping to the floor. I aimed and fired, hitting the man who had been about to jump off the riser from the next section up to try to stab Ian.

Enough of this.

I pushed past the knights and a few other people, tripping two who were distracted so our side could handle them. It worked and then I was standing in front of the Minister of Finance with the barrel of my gun pointed at his forehead. "You are under arrest. Call them off or I will pull the trigger for the safety of everyone here, and we both know the king will forgive me."

Luckily, he believed me. "Stop! I yield!"

It took a few more moments for people to realize that it was over and they were being called off, but it worked. Which left me with one worry.

"Ian?"

"I am good," he promised, moving into my view. "I have got the minister. Check on your people."

"Thank you." I gave him a look that we would talk later and turned to do what he said as I holstered my weapon.

"Someone relieve the commander of his weapon and badge this instant!" someone bellowed. "Strip him of his rank and job after he dares to treat a member of the royal family with such disrespect and—"

People all around the large chamber erupted in arguments, the adrenaline and fear of what just happened not having anywhere to go… And apparently, it was time to be idiots about that.

There was a loud gong that wasn't natural, something magical, and we all covered our ears or wished we could. I knew I'd be hearing it for days and my ears might want to bleed it was so loud.

"Enough!" the king bellowed after we could hear anything again. "We are not going to be idiots and even discuss manners and propriety about the hero that just saved my cousin's life. Again." He glanced out at the chamber and around at all the people. "And this is as good of a time as any, so hear me now that I will be granting Commander Andre Lessa the title of marquis."

I couldn't even keep my mouth from falling open.

"It was my mistake that I did not award him a title after his heroic actions in the war when he saved my family back then. It's one I deeply regret as the man has—we might not have had a kingdom without him, and I would have lost my beloved cousin." He looked at me. "And I regret that mistake. I did not know as much as I do now, and the weight of everything was crippling.

"You deserved better from your king and the people you suffered to protect. You also deserve it for the years of service since. You are an honorable man, and I cannot think of anyone more noble than you, sir. No one who works with you has a bad word to say about you and it's clear you care for your country. It is my honor that you are the head of the police in my kingdom."

I bowed to him. "The honor has always been mine, Your Majesty. I have always appreciated the faith you placed in me. Before being your cousin, the grand duke was my comrade in the war and my best friend. The kingdom could not bear the loss of him, not with how much he cares as well."

"Yes, I am starting to see that instead of the lies. Thank you for helping me understand that, Commander. And for protecting us today. My beloved wife was in attendance and clearly our plans were leaked." He sighed when people started whispering. "Of course, I knew! I know more than people ever give me credit for. The commander found me the proof I have needed."

"We can provide the details later, Your Majesty," the queen said gently. "There are wounded to tend to, and we must finish the proceeding."

"Yes, of course. You are always the smartest one present, my love."

I handled what I needed to and luckily our side was better off and had no casualties. One was only seriously wounded, but it wasn't life-threatening.

That was a damn good result when we were led into a trap.

"What was the end goal?" the captain who arrived on the scene to take over asked me. "Was it to take out the grand duke?"

"Maybe? Anything they could make happen in the chaos?" I muttered. "I want all of our people involved questioned with a truth stone immediately. I want to know anyone they told even if a child or spouse. I want to know where they discussed the plans also. We could have something magical at the station or watching us."

"Is that your gut?" he worried.

I thought back to Mabel's magic mirror that she used that Ian had easily gotten for her. I hadn't even thought something like that possible. "Yes, and not just because it would break my heart if we had someone dirty so close to us."

"Mine as well. I will see to it myself, Commander." He clapped my shoulder. "Glad you are okay."

"I will get you the stones."

"I have two locked up in case of emergencies." He shrugged when I gave him a shocked look. "The older you get, the more prudent and prepared you start to become."

"I just seem to get more paranoid."

"I do not see them as different," he quipped before heading out.

Fair enough.

The rest of the mess was cleaned up and everyone carted off to be treated or thrown in a deep ditch.

Not really, but that was my hope for what happened to the traitors.

Ian caught my gaze and gestured with his head to follow him. I excused myself and did, guessing correctly that he would lead me to his office. I walked right through the door and closed it behind me, noting we were really alone.

"How could you be so foolish when I made sure to—" He started to demand, but I interrupted him.

By kissing him.

I grabbed him by the neck of his jacket and pulled him to me so our lips met, kissing him and letting out what I was feeling.

Maybe?

He simply blinked at me when I backed off. "What was that?"

"I do not know," I admitted.

He moved his hands to my chest and put more space between us which I found surprising. "Did we just cheat on Mabel?"

Oh shit. It was my turn to simply blink at him. Oh shit! "No."

"No?"

"I do not know."

"And you do not know what this was?"

"No."

"I do not mean to be an ass—but what do you know right now, Andre?"

"That I thought everything inside of me would die if that man reached you," I admitted, clearing my throat when his eyes went wide. "I sent my most trusted captain to personally interview everyone involved in the planning or enacting of this with truth stones. I want to know if we were the leak, if someone overheard something, or magic is spying on my station."

He seemed to shake himself to be able to jump conversations. "I did not think of that last one."

"It would explain a lot of things that never made sense to me, but I would not have thought of it until you gave Mabel that mirror."

"Smart. That was expensive, ridiculously expensive, but not hard to get with the money. Someone rotten would spend it for spying. Good job."

"Thank you." I turned to leave, but he caught me at the door, moving his body against mine.

"I need to speak to Mabel. I will not hurt her."

"I would never either."

"I know. I am not saying otherwise. I never would." He waited until I nodded. "But after I do, I will come for a better explanation of what that kiss meant and maybe the rest of it."

I didn't know what to say, partially annoyed he was always so fucking pushy, but also turned on by it. Too much was swirling around me with the day's events and what had almost happened, so I simply left.

He could take that as an agreement or not.

I wasn't even sure if it was or wasn't.

But what he said hit me and I realized I needed to see Mabel. I left and went right to her house instead of worrying about reports. More than the kiss, she would have heard about what happened by now and I hadn't told her in advance. Neither had Ian.

We had done what everyone else should have and kept it quiet.

I slowed my horse when I reached her house, but from the looks on the faces there, it was clear that they had received word. "Everyone on our side is fine. Wounds but nothing critical."

"Glad to hear it, Commander," one of the grand duke's knights said, dipping his head to me. He looked surprised, so clearly even Ian's knights had kept some details back and only the people involved were privy to the information.

Good. As it should have been.

"The messenger the count uses for warnings or major news in the capital is paid to be dispatched to Lady Kathy if anything happens," he told me. "That's how they were informed, and from what we know, they didn't learn much. The Minister of Finance was arrested on corruption and there might have been an assassination attempt."

Shit.

I didn't bother explaining and headed for the door. I went right inside and found Kathy and Mabel in the kitchen, all of the people in the house looking worried.

"You have blood on you!" Mabel gasped, rushing to me.

"It's not mine," I promised her. "I came right here so I could finally tell you."

She froze before she reached me. "You knew. You knew and you did not tell me?"

I begged her with my eyes to understand. "It's my job, Mabel. We could not tell anyone, and I certainly could not expect others to do that if I cannot even keep to my own rules."

She pursed her lips at me. "You were in major danger and did not tell me. That is something I feel valid to be upset about."

"It was not supposed to be dangerous at all, but something was leaked, so clearly we were not tight-lipped enough about it," I muttered.

"Let's hear him out and exactly what happened before we decide who we are punishing and for what," Lady Kathy interjected, giving me a knowing look. She was probably used to some of this with her brother and the grand duke.

That might save me right then.

We went to the sitting room and I told them what was supposed to happen and what did… Or what I knew.

"So you do not know who leaked information or even the goal?" Mabel asked, sounding a bit like she wasn't buying it.

"I do not want to poke at something sensitive, but I think you are applying logic to a narcissist with inflated importance," I hedged. "If this was Marquis Matthias and it was him being arrested for—"

"Right, say no more," she agreed, waving me off. "He would take the chance to make a stand against the king and… I understand. I did not think the Minister of Finance was that deluded."

"He might not be," I admitted. "He might have received information that this was not what he thought it was. Someone could have lied to say they would get him out of it and make a scene just to try and get at Ian. We just do not know."

"Colin always says feral animals are the most dangerous when they are trapped," Kathy muttered. "Father as well. It could be his own mind shredding that he was caught. He could not have been all that sane to be so brazen with his crimes."

"But it did work. Four ministers were fooled and for years," I told them, nodding at their shock. "That makes someone brazen and probably crazed with perceived power. He probably hid his insanity well. Not to go back to the Matthiases, but while I never liked David, I always thought him too cowardly to ever be physical with anyone."

"Many had that opinion of him," Mabel agreed, clearly wanting the topic changed.

I understood that, but it was the only real reference to use that we both had any knowledge of. "We never really know what is in someone's heart or mind. We all wear masks, and if someone is willing to go that far in their crimes, setting up an assassination attempt for another deal or maybe marriage for his children would not be the strangest thing I have ever heard."

"Yes, well, if you'll excuse me, I want to write Colin about this matter and send it by magic since I have it from the best source before he starts getting reports about Ian being hurt," Kathy said, glancing between us and realizing that we needed time alone.

I waited until she was gone before letting out a slow breath. "Before I leave you to settle with this and decide how upset you are with me after you were already trying to get over my other mistake."

"I was already—" she tried to say.

"I kissed Ian," I told her.

"Oh," she whispered but then frowned. "Did you cheat then?"

"He asked me the same thing," I admitted. "If we both did or… I do not think we have defined this enough to say that, but I will understand if you feel that I have."

She was quiet several moments. "Why?"

"I do not know," I admitted. "I thought something would break inside of me and would never be okay again if that man reached him and stabbed him. That was all I could think of and then he was okay. He was in front of me and it just happened. I want to say that I am sorry, but that sounds like I…"

"Could ever regret him," she whispered, nodding when I did. "But you would be sorry if it hurt me."

"Of course. Always. And not speaking with you first."

"Yes, well, please speak with me before any more life-threatening situations you do not know will happen," she grumbled.

Clearly, she understood, but that didn't mean I was out of trouble.

And we both knew that.