11. Victor

Chapter eleven

Victor

A fter doing taste testing with Lee, I decide to go for a ride around town to see if I find any evidence Donovan might be around. I can’t stop thinking about how afraid of him Olivia seems to be. I grit my teeth until my jaw begins to hurt. With a roll of my shoulders, I force myself to relax.

I’m pissed at myself. I’m pissed at Josie. I want to kill Donovan. When I stop at a red light and force myself to take deep breaths. If I had been there for Olivia like I promised Margaret, maybe she’d trust me. Maybe she’d return my call or text. How the hell did I allow this canyon sized fissure to develop between us? How the fuck am I going to fix it?

A car behind me honks their horn, making me realize the light turned green. I take off and drive until I find myself in front of the building Olivia works at. She did say she was busy, but it felt like she was avoiding me. Maybe showing up in person will force her to face me. I know she’s hurting. I have to find out why so I can fix it. Walking into the building, I wave at James.

“Hey, Victor. What are you doing here?” James greets me.

“I came by to see Olivia.” I lean against the counter. “Do I need a visitor pass?”

“She’s not here.” I stand and put my hands in my pocket. I wasn’t expecting him to say that. “She’ll be back on Monday, but I can leave her a message.”

“Yeah, I’d appreciate that.” I rub my hand along my jaw, my beard scraping against my palm. “Is she sick?”

James arches an eyebrow, but shakes his head. “No, she took half a day with one of her other coworkers. They left together.”

“Alright, thanks. Bye,” I say as I head out the front door. Walking to my bike, I grab my helmet and climb on, but don’t start the engine. She did say she was busy, guess she wasn’t avoiding me. I’m pretty sure Olivia works for Lincoln Holloway. His father used to own this building, but there are other businesses located here. I’m tempted to find him and talk to him, but I don’t want to come across as being stalkerish.

I don’t know why she won’t return my call or text, even if she was busy today she could have responded to me asking her about Monday, but I’ll give her some more time. She has invaded all of my thoughts since I saw her at the restaurant. I need to know she’s okay. That she’s safe. I’ll give her a few more days.

By Sunday afternoon, I’m getting impatient. I’m beginning to realize how much I need her and I believe she needs me too. I’m not sure how or why I need her, but I know I do. Maybe I can help ease her mind and assure I’ll keep her safe since she’s obviously scared of Donovan. I pull up Malachi’s name, the president of The Outsiders. He can find anyone, no matter how hard they try to hide. Up to this point I haven’t taken advantage of that, but I’m throwing caution to the wind. I’ll find out where she lives and go see her. I’ll worry about apologizing after.

The need to see her is as visceral as needing to breathe. I see the silky black mane of her hair, her ocean blue eyes that are uniquely hers, and her lovely throat that would look perfect with a piece of jewelry claiming her as mine. Closing my eyes, I shake my head. I cannot be thinking about her like that. Fuck. When did that happen?

My phone rings in my hand and I stare at it for a second, unsure if I’m imagining things. Did I conjure her up? Swiping my phone, I answer it.

“Hello, Olivia.”

“Hi, Victor,” she whispers.

Hearing her voice is like I’ve come up for air after being underwater for too long. This is not good, but I can’t find it in myself to care right now.

Walking onto my back porch, I look out over my property, wondering if she’d like it. I live in this huge house and have no one to enjoy it with. I built this place in hopes Josie and I could settle here one day.

“How are you?” I ask. I sit on one of the rocking chairs as I watch the horses. Would she want to ride them one day? Would she want to ride me one day? Fuck, I need to stop those thoughts.

“I’m okay. I went to Atlanta this weekend to visit one of my friends. Ansley, you met her at the restaurant.”

I cross my foot over my knee. That still doesn’t give me the reason why she hasn’t responded to my call or text, but I don’t say anything. Not yet. But if she had my collar she’d be punished for not answering. Squeezing my eyes shut, I stop that train of thought. “Did you have fun?”

She’s quiet for a moment. “Yes, of course.”

“Olivia.” My voice dips low. “Be honest with me.”

“I really wish you would stop calling me Olivia,” she murmurs. She’s deflecting, I’ll address that later.

“Did you have fun?” I ask her again.

She huffs. “I did, but…”

I wait, but she doesn’t continue. “But?” I encourage her.

“I love my friends. I do, but they have these lives that I don’t relate to. Caroline is pregnant and so happy with Bass. Ansley is pining after Lincoln. And I—I’m happy for them.”

“That’s not what you were going to say. I don’t know your friends, so you can be honest with me.” The sun is beginning to dip in the horizon and I wish she was here, sitting next to me to see its beauty.

“I can’t. Besides, I told you more than I should have.” Her voice is low. I can hear the heartbreak in it and I want to make her feel better, but until she opens up to me, I won’t know how to do that. She will though, especially if she believes she told me more than she should have. She’s obviously not used to opening up; to anyone.

“You can. And one day you will. When you’re ready.”

It’s a promise. I need her to know I’m not going anywhere. After not being present in her life like I should have been, I’m going to have to restore that trust. And I’ll wait as long as I have to. She deserves to have someone that is fully invested in her. I know she hasn’t had that, at least not since her mom died.

“Ask me again. Not now, but sometime in the future.” Her voice is soft. My lips tip up and I rub my palm across my beard.

“You’ve got yourself a deal.” I can tell this is getting heavy for her, so I change the subject. “You never answered my question.”

“Huh? What question?”

I smile. “Are you busy for lunch tomorrow?”

“Oh. You are persistent, aren’t you? You asked me to go to lunch with you Friday and now tomorrow too.”

I laugh. “What if I want all your tomorrows?” I’m met with silence.

What the hell am I saying? She’s too young for me. Jesus. Why am I thinking about her like that at all? I’m about to tell her to forget it, but she speaks up before I do.

“Okay.” Her voice is still quiet like she’s nervous, but I don’t give her time to change her mind.

“That’s settled then.” I don’t know if she’s saying okay to just lunch or all her tomorrows. Somehow I’m going to convince her I do want all her tomorrows. I don’t dwell on that right now especially since my thoughts seem to be at war with each other. I promised myself I wouldn’t go down that road again and here I am. “Tell me about your trip. You went to visit your friend Ansley? Does she live there?”

“Yes, she just moved there.” She tells me about Ansley, Lincoln, Caroline, and Bass. By the time she gets done, it feels like I know them.

“You said Bass owns a gym?” I ask, remembering Connor had a friend named Bass.

“He does. I’m a member.”

“Maybe I can come exercise with you one day,” I offer without thinking. Apparently I’m doing that a lot today.

“That would be okay with me.”

“Okay, we’ll figure out the details tomorrow. Does Bass have a friend named Connor?”

“How did you know that?” The question comes out high pitched. That question bothered her.

“I’ve had some run-ins with him. He doesn’t like me very much. I remember him having a friend named Bass.” I have this need to reassure her and figure out why she’s so guarded. My sweet Olivia. What happened to you?