10. Breaker

Chapter 10

Breaker

I’m nervous as a damn cat. I’ve been this way since we crossed the Tennessee state line, and that only increased as we got closer to our destination. I’m also feeling guilty because I didn’t tell Indy what I was doing today. I’ve actually spoken to her very little. It has had to be that way. I can’t be around her and not want to touch her, kiss her … claim her. My control is hanging on by an unraveling thread. It’s like our kiss ignited something inside of me. My hunger for her has been so bad that I nearly stormed into her bedroom a couple of nights. Moving in with Jeff was the only way I could stop it from happening. The distance I've created between Indy and me has hurt her, I know that. I see it every single time she looks at me. I’ve wanted to explain, but I can’t do that either. If I did, she’d know how desperate I am to have her.

I need to respect her wishes until I find out the truth. I told her I’m certain that no other woman owns my heart. I wasn’t lying, but there is a small doubt deep inside of me that says it’s possible that my memory loss could be clouding my judgment. When I go to Indy, I need to make sure there’s nothing behind me to hold me back. At the same time, I’m not ready to meet a bunch of strangers who are expecting me to be a man that I can’t remember.

After a frank talk with Cooper, we devised a plan. He has a friend who lives just outside of Norton, Tennessee—which is supposedly close to the area I’m from. The man is even a member of the Savage Brothers MC chapter there. It’s risky, but this man should know me and be able to get information easily. Cooper says he wouldn’t divulge the fact that I’m alive either. It’s a lot of maneuvering to just get information. Cooper and Jeff both think I should just show up in Kentucky and demand to know everything from my own club. It would be simpler, but there’s one thing that stops me—well, two actually.

I was shot at. They wanted to kill me. I don’t truly worry about the risk to myself, but those people were after me for a reason. If I wasn’t a good person before, or my club wasn’t, then I sure as fuck don’t want to let any of them know where I am now. I don’t want to bring that to Indy’s door. No one will harm her or Tinny because of me. They are my priorities. Safeguarding them and taking care of them will always be my primary goal. I’m going to make that clear to Indy—just as soon as I know I’m free to do so.

If there is another woman in my past that I’ve made promises to?

I will cut her loose. Maybe that sounds cruel and probably even cold. I don’t really care. I can’t be with someone when Indy is all I can think about and concentrate on. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone.

We’re currently sitting in a small café drinking coffee and waiting for Cooper’s contact.

“What’s the plan here?” I ask, barely keeping my leg from bouncing up and down, betraying my nerves. It feels foreign to me, as if I’ve never been the kind of man to get anxious before. I think I probably haven’t. I sure as hell am now, though. Everything is riding on this. I want to go back to Indy and tell her I want us to start seeing one another. I want to be a part of her and Tinny’s life. I’m praying she wants the same. Before I can do that, however, we have to know the answers to my questions.

“It’s the same as it has been the last ten times you’ve asked. Calm down, Breaker. I trust Logan. He won’t let me down. We’ll find out most, if not all, of your questions today. What he can’t answer, he’ll find out.”

“You’re positive.”

“I am.”

I rub the back of my neck and sigh. “If you really knew this guy all along, why didn’t you contact him before now?” I ask. It’s the one question that has been bothering me since Cooper came up with this idea.

“I actually did reach out initially, but Logan was on a trip with his wife. I planned on calling them back in a couple of weeks.” He shrugs. “I would have gotten around to it. I just kind of forgot. I mean, you didn’t seem to be a threat to Indy. I figured the fewer people that knew you were alive was better for her.”

I nod. “You’re probably right. Do you think he will keep my secret?”

“I do—at least for a while. I don’t know how close he is to the members of your old club.”

I exhale and lean back against my chair. “There’s a lot riding on this, Cooper.”

“I imagine it’s no small thing finding out who you are after having your memory taken away from you.”

“Well, that’s part of it, but …”

He grins at me. “I’m messing with you. It’d take a dumbass not to recognize how much you’ve been eyeing Indy, Breaker. She’s a good woman and as long as everything checks out with you, I’m fine with it.”

“Thanks, but what if Indy is right? What if there is someone in Kentucky waiting for me to come home?”

“Then, you will do your best to get your memory back, which you are doing regardless. It will all work out in the end the way it’s supposed to. I believe that. I’m old, seen a lot of shit,” he says, taking a drink of his coffee. “It always works out in the end. It might not go the way we want it to every time, but it always gets us to where we are meant to be.”

“You sound like a man who has learned that lesson.”

“That’s because I am, Breaker. It brought me to my Iva, and I’d not change a damn thing. Everything pales when it comes to her. She is and always will be the most important person in my life.”

I nod, jealous of what he says. That’s exactly what I want. I feel it deep inside of me. It’s as if his words wake something up inside of me. What he’s describing with Iva is what I instinctively know that I’ve wanted my entire life. I take a deep breath. I can’t feel like that and not see Indy’s face. There’s no one else. There’s only her.

The door to the small café opens up, drawing our attention. There’s a man walking in that’s just a little smaller than I am—maybe two or three inches. He’s leaner, too. His scary appearance is only enhanced by the patch over one of his eyes. He’s got brown hair that has some gray shining in. There are tattoos visible on his fingers. He’s wearing a leather jacket, dark blue jeans, and boots. He looks every inch a biker. I wonder if Indy finds me imposing. I’m thankful that little Tinny has never been intimidated by me. He takes two steps inside, the glass entry door swinging shut behind him. He begins scanning the area as Cooper stands to get his attention. An easy smile moves over the man’s face as he walks toward us. It’s when he gets about five feet away, he freezes. He stares at me, shock written all over his face.

“Holy fuck,” he breathes. “Breaker? You’re alive?”

My heart stops mid-beat. Shit, I hope this wasn’t a mistake.