9. Indy

Chapter 9

Indy

One Week Later

I should have never allowed him to kiss me.

I realize the damn man never gave me much of a choice, but I still could have fought harder to get away. He would never have forced himself on me. I know that. I may not know his past, but I do trust him. If I had pushed him away instead of actively kissing him back, I wouldn’t have spent the last week wishing he would kiss me again. Then, there’s the nighttime when I’m lying in bed remembering his kiss and wanting more. That’s close to torture. I’m pretty sure he is struggling too because he moved in with Jeff a few days ago. They seem to be getting along. I know Jeff is helping him look into his past. He even took it upon himself to stay a little longer to help. They both have dinner in here with me and Tinny. Sometimes Iva and Cooper stay, too. Yet in the past week, Breaker and I haven’t been alone. It’s making me crazy, along with intensifying my need to be around him. I’ve asked quietly if they’ve discovered information about his past yet. Breaker just says no and changes the subject.

Maybe he’s lost interest.

“Hey, Indy.”

I look up at my office door and see Iva. She’s not really an employee, but she does work here and there for spare money. Christmas is coming, so she’s been filling in a little more than normal. They have money, with Cooper’s past and working with Carson, I’d say they have more than I’ll ever see in my lifetime. Yet, Iva says making her own money empowers her. She says it defeats the purpose to use money that Cooper mostly made to buy his Christmas presents. I think she’s wrong, because Iva’s always worked hard whether it’s being a homemaker or here with me.

“I didn’t know you were coming in today,” I respond with a smile.

“I’m bored. Cooper has something planned with Breaker today. So, I thought I’d come over and spend time with you and little Tinny.”

“She’ll appreciate it. She’s a little bored. My tech Lane has her helping bathe some of the animals in the kennel area. You know what that means,” I add with a smirk.

“It means that Tinny will be soaking wet and smell like a dog,” she chuckles.

“Yeah, so feel free to give her a bath. Do you know when the men will be back?” I do my best to sound like I don’t really care. Iva is sharp, and she doesn’t miss anything. I’m pretty sure she’s already aware that I like Breaker more than I should. Still, I don’t want to add fuel to the fire, especially when I’m starting to think the man in question has changed his mind. After the kiss we shared, I thought he would at least talk to me more—maybe even kiss me again. I can admit, I was really hoping he would. The disappointment that he didn’t even try is so big that I don’t even know how to process it.

“He didn’t say. Just said it would be late.”

“Oh,” I reply, and I know Iva can hear that I’m sad. I can’t help it. “Well, I have a roast in a slow cooker for dinner if you want to stay.”

“That sounds good. I’ll get Tinny to help me bake a chocolate chess pie for dessert. She enjoys playing in the kitchen.”

“I could definitely use some chocolate,” I confess, as I stand and walk over toward her.

Iva smiles understandingly. “I thought so,” she murmurs, patting my arm. “It’s going to be okay. I promise.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, playing dumb.

“Oh please. You like that young man you fished out of the creek. It’s as plain as the nose on your face. There’s nothing wrong with that. He may not remember who he is, but I can tell he’s a good man. He’s also the first man you’ve been interested in since moving here. Stop worrying or feeling guilty. After the hell your ex put you through, you deserve to be happy, Indy.”

“I don’t?—”

“Stop trying to lie to an old woman,” she grumbles.

“You’re not old,” I laugh. “Okay, fine. I really like him. I mean, I don’t know him that well, but I’m definitely attracted to him. I haven’t met anyone who makes me feel like this—even my ex. Still, it’s not right. He could have a woman waiting for him back home. He’s started seeing a doctor in town for his amnesia, but how can I allow myself to get closer to him when it’s possible that he’ll return to Kentucky and to the waiting arms of another woman? I mean, look at him. How can a guy that looks the way he does be single? It’s an impossibility.”

“Well, I guess it’s a good thing he’s traveling close to the Tennessee and Kentucky border to check things out and see if anything looks familiar. They’re also talking to a man Cooper knows that is close to the Savage Brothers MC in Kentucky.”

“He is?” I gasp. Her words bring a sense of dread over me. If he goes home, he may not return. I may never see him again.

“I know what you’re thinking and stop that right now. Today, Breaker will find some of his answers, but regardless of what they find out today, I know in my heart that Breaker will come back here to tell you himself. He told Jeff and Cooper that his feelings for you are the reason he’s pushing himself like he is.”

“Breaker said that?” I ask before I can stop myself.

“That he did. So, rare back those shoulders and be the bad bitch that we both know you can be. Let the men do what they do, and we’ll go from there. Okay?”

“Okay,” I murmur, doing my best to sound more confident than I am.

“Good girl. Now, I’m going to go find your darling daughter and make sure you have chocolate for your dinner. I’ll add a few things to go with the roast too. So, you finish up with your patients and paperwork for the day and come over and join us. Deal?”

“Deal,” I tell her with a hug. “Thank you for everything, Iva. I don’t know how I could ever repay you or Cooper.”

“We’re family, Indy. You don’t repay family,” she says, leaning up to kiss my cheek. I didn’t hit the lottery with my parents, but Cooper and Iva have been everything my sperm donors should have been and more.

Once she walks away, I lean back against my desk and close my eyes. Breaker left to go to Kentucky. Is today the day that I lose him forever? Can you lose someone you never truly had? Tears sting my eyes, but I refuse to let them go. I will face this head on. I’ve been through worse. I won’t let it break me.

I can’t.