8. Breaker

Chapter 8

Breaker

“Fuck,” I moan as I lay back on the bed.

How in the hell am I supposed to go back to Kentucky when walking to the barn and back makes me feel like I’m going to fall over? Today has been a clusterfuck of issues. The lone bright spot was working puzzles with little Tinny. She always makes me smile. She’s a handful, but I can’t stop smiling around her. Just like her mother, she is special.

And that’s another problem.

Everything that Indy said makes complete sense. I’m insane for being obsessed with a woman when I don’t even know my own fucking name. I know that. It’s just that I don’t give a fuck. I spent days listening to her talk. It hurt to hear how tender her voice was when she spoke with her daughter. I heard her laughter, felt her soft touch, and most of all, I heard her cry when she thought there was no one in the room but an unconscious man.

Indy is carrying so much on her shoulders. I don’t know why that hits me so hard, but it does. I want to be the man to help lighten her load. There’s something inside me that believes I was destined to do that for her. Realistically, I know Indy had legitimate concerns. I also know I should try to find out about my old life. Hell, it should probably be the first thing on my mind.

I don’t know how to explain it to her. I can’t even make myself fully understand. The moment I heard her voice, I felt like I had found home. It sounds bizarre, but I don’t really give a damn either. The first time I saw her, there was something about her that was familiar. I just don’t believe all of this is coincidence. There’s a reason I’m here with her and no one will be able to convince me otherwise.

Now if I could just convince Indy.

She is right about one thing. I need to find out who I am and why someone tried to kill me. I won’t risk bringing trouble to Indy’s door. She has no idea that I heard her cry. I know that letting me hear her so vulnerable is not something she’d want.

Before I can do anything, I’m going to have to get stronger. Right now, I couldn’t defend myself, much less her and Tinny. I also need to address her fears about me having another woman. She could be right. I still think if there was someone serious in my life, I’d know it somehow.

“You, okay?”

I turn my head to look toward the door. Indy is staring at me, and I can see the concern on her face.

“Yeah,” I lie. “Just a lot on my mind.”

“You’re hurting,” she counters.

“Not bad. I’ll survive. I’ve had worse.”

“Stop lying. You can’t remember what you’ve had in the past.”

My lips twitch. “Got me there, Doc.”

“Jeff said you helped him in the barn today,” she adds, walking into the room. Her arms are crossed at her chest, as if daring me to lie to her.

“I swept about a three by four area and had to sit down. I don’t think you can call that helping.”

“Are you trying to kill yourself?” she huffs.

“I’m just trying to get better. I can’t figure out who I am and make sure I don’t bring anything to your front door if something as simple as taking a piss wears me out.”

“I thought the sweeping did that,” she returns, not bothering to hide her smile.

“It started when I had to hold my dick to take a wiz,” I grumble, and the sad part is I’m not entirely joking.

“Is this some weird pickup line you’re trying to use by dragging on about the size of your dick?”

A chuckle escapes despite being worn out. “Well, it is quite impressive,” I taunt.

“I bet,” she laughs, rolling her eyes at me.

“We’re talking massive, really.”

“God, give it up,” she chastises, shaking her head, while her voice is dripping in humor. Somehow, just the sound makes a weight lift from me.

“Were you needing something, Doc?”

“What did I tell you about calling me that?”

“Well, my memory is kind of fuzzy …”

“Breaker …”

“I just found a new reason to find out what my name is.”

“What would that be?”

“So I can hear you say it.”

“Are you always such a flirt?” she chastises, sitting on the edge of my bed.

“Not sure. No memory and all.”

“Breaker—”

“What I can say,” I add, interrupting her. “Is that I wasn’t flirting just then. I was telling you the God’s honest truth.”

“Breaker, we’ve had this discussion. Besides that, we don’t really know each other. We probably wouldn’t even like one another if we started spending time together.”

“That’s a dare I’ll take you up on, Doc.”

“It wasn’t a dare!” she huffs.

“It was. Say whatever you want, but you came in here because you wanted to see me.”

“I’m starting to understand now. It isn’t your dick that’s massive, it’s your ego.”

“It can be both. Maybe you’ll help me figure it all out.”

“Breaker—”

“Doc, we both know you wouldn’t have come in here unless you wanted to see me as bad as I wanted to see you.”

“I needed to check on you. Jeff said you were in pretty rough shape.”

On instinct, I reach out and touch her hand that is resting on the mattress. I feel her tense, but there’s a tremor that moves through her body. I lock my fingers with hers. She jerks but doesn’t try to pull away.

“I wouldn’t hurt you or your daughter, Indy.”

“Maybe not on purpose. I can admit that you’re right. I do feel something when I’m around you. I’m attracted to you. There’s a powerful pull to spend time with you?—”

“Then—”

“ But ,” she grumbles when I try to interrupt her. “We don’t know one another. You have a lot to figure out and if we just ignore whatever this is, it will pass. We just don’t feed into it.”

I blink. “You think this electricity between us will just fade away if we ignore it?” I laugh, but there’s no humor in it.

“I think we can control it. We’re not animals.”

“Speak for yourself, Doc. You make me feel like an animal.”

“Then, maybe it’s best if I get Jeff and Cooper to take you to Kentucky now,” she whispers.

It’s odd. I don’t know my own name. I have no memory of my past and my mind is mush for the most part. Yet I’ve not truly been afraid. I panicked at first, but that pales in comparison to having Indy tell me I should go back to Kentucky now. I force my exhaustion away. Sitting up, I pull Indy to me just by the hold on her hand. She tries to escape my hold, but I don’t let her. Her eyes are dilated, filled with trepidation as she looks at me.

“You can’t get rid of me that easy, Doc.”

“Breaker, I’m not trying to get rid of you. We may not know what it is, but you do have a life in Kentucky. You need to return and sort it out. At the very least, you need to see if it jogs your memories. Perhaps find a doctor to help find the proper way to let your brain heal and bring them back. The truth is you don’t belong here. You can’t change that.”

“You think you have this all planned out, don’t you?”

She exhales, shaking her head. “I’m just telling the truth.”

“Bullshit. You know there is such a thing as fate. What if I was meant to be in North Carolina? What if this is fate’s way of bringing us together, Doc? Did you ever think of that?”

“I’m not a big believer in fate. I think people make their own decisions and reap the consequences of those choices, be it good or bad.”

“You think it’s my fault I was shot? Hell, what kind of person do you think I am? It’s a wonder that you trust me to work puzzles with your daughter. Although, that might explain why Jeff is always close by, right?” I ask, suddenly pissed.

“Breaker—”

“Never mind. I think I have my answer. I believe it’d be best if I go ahead and move into the ranch hand quarters tonight,” I mutter, forcing my legs to brace so they can take my weight as I move to rise off the bed.

“Will you stop!” she snaps. Indy moves so quickly that before I even realize it, she’s leaning over my lap, using her body as extra weight to keep me from standing. “You are not going outside tonight. You would probably fall flat on your face before you took three steps.”

“What does it matter anyway? If I drop dead, you will at least know your daughter is safe.”

“You cannot seriously be mad that I would have someone watch over my daughter when I don’t really know you. You were just gunned down a week ago. This is my daughter, Breaker. She comes before anything and anyone else. Of course, I’m going to have her monitored while she is with you. Her father was a big enough dick. There’s no way in hell I will expose her to someone else that might hurt her.”

“I’d never hurt Tinny! I love that little girl.”

“You don’t know her!”

“Yeah, well, I don’t know her mother either, but I’m pretty sure that I could love her if she’d let me.”

I see the minute my words hit her. Her entire body jerks like it just suffered a hard blow. Her gaze locks on mine and I’m almost positive that I see panic brewing in those bright blue depths.

“You’re talking insane. Despite this crazy attraction between us, we don’t know one another.”

“Maybe I am insane, but I feel this need to have you in my life so deep inside of me that I know it’s useless to try to stop it. Everything about you calls to me. I may not know my past, Indy, but I know I want more of you in my present and in my future.”

“And if you happen to have a woman you love hidden away in your past? What happens then, Breaker? Take what we feel out of the equation. If I allow you to kiss me—if I allow this to go any further—how are you going to feel if there’s a woman back home grieving your death? A woman who loves you with everything in her. How are you going to feel then?”

“What if I never get my memory back, Doc? Am I supposed to be with a woman I can’t remember? Will she even want a man who can’t love her like the man she remembers?”

“That’s something you won’t know until you return to see what’s waiting in Kentucky for you.”

“Okay, I’ll make a deal with you.”

“A deal?”

“Jeff had the local news on today when I was trying to help him. They were dragging the lake. The police would only say there was an ongoing investigation concerning a tourist who had disappeared on a hiking trail. They didn’t even release a picture.”

“That’s kind of odd, isn’t it? I mean, I have to admit, I wondered why they aren’t plastering pictures of you all over town.”

“It is. Although Jeff has a theory,” I respond.

I don’t think she realizes that she’s still draped over my lap. It’s all I can do not to haul her up so that I can take her mouth and claim her as mine. I carefully let my fingers move to the ends of her hair and just the feel of it relaxes me.

“What’s that?” she asks. Is it my imagination, or did her body tremble against me?

“The people who shot me are still out there. They don’t know if I’m dead or alive, but just in case, he figures they don’t want my picture plastered everywhere, making it hard for me to hide.”

“They’d have to be pretty powerful to pull those kinds of strings.”

“Apparently this Savage Brothers MC is pretty big. They own a lot of custom garages across the US, although the most famous and lucrative one is in Kentucky. So, it is definitely possible. Plus, Jeff said the Feral Kings MC mostly own this town through violence and intimidation. It’s possible that my family—if it is them—don’t truly trust the government and police here either.”

“Okay, so what’s this deal you want from me, Breaker?”

“Jeff’s going to research the Savage Brothers MC. He’s going to reach out to some contact that his boss, Carson, has in Kentucky. I will find out who I am from here. I will see what family I have and when I’m ready, I’ll make my way back to Kentucky. If I have a wife or even a serious girlfriend, I’ll walk away from you, even though it will kill me. But if I don’t …”

“That’s not truly being fair to your family. They’re probably worried sick about you, Breaker.”

“It’s probably not, but I’m not sure I can handle much more right now. You and Tinny can go to Kentucky with me when I’m ready.”

“You’re that positive you’re not married or in a relationship,” she murmurs, clearly not believing the same.

“I believe I’m right. I don’t think my reaction to you would be this strong if there was another woman out there who held even the smallest piece of my heart.”

“Until you find out, we don’t act on this attraction between us, Breaker.”

“Except for one small kiss.”

“What? No,” she says, trying to pull away. I refuse to let her. “We aren’t doing this?—”

“But we are. If I’m going to stay away from you until we find out who I am, then you’re going to give me one small kiss to hold on to.”

“Breaker, we?—”

“Shh … Let me have this, Indy. It’s just a kiss. Give me a small taste of you to remember while we clear the way for more.”

“We shouldn’t,” she whispers, unconsciously leaning her head toward me.

“Oh, but we should. We fucking should,” I nearly growl, as I take her mouth. She groans and I hungrily swallow the sound down as our tongues fight for dominance. I ravage her sweet depths, doing my best to ensure that Indy will always remember me. The woman may not believe me yet, but I am her future.

And she is mine.