Chapter 6

"What about you?"he asked. "Why did you join the Army?"

I chuckled when I thought about my answer. "I was sixteen and fucking stupid."

Lennox snorted.

"Not in the way you would think," I continued, "I was smart, but at some point around my fifteenth birthday I fell into the company of a couple of dickheads in school. Instead of keeping my head down and getting on with my GCSEs, I fucked around and skipped school to smoke and drink cheap cider like a complete waster."

Lennox's brows furrowed like he didn't believe a word I was saying.

"I know, I don't seem the type, right?" I laughed. "My uncle was a policeman; he told me to either get my shit together and make my mother proud or he would kick my ass. I decided that joining the Army and making something of myself was the most sensible way of doing that."

Lennox smirked. "Did your mum approve?"

"Fuck no. She was convinced her only son was going to get himself killed and she would forever be worrying about me. At least until I got my first medal, and my first commendation, and then my first command. Then she sang a whole other story of how amazingly well her son was doing and how he was travelling all over the world." I laughed thinking about a time Mum had been telling her bingo friends all about her officer son and how he was the boss of a group of other soldiers.

"How long have you been out of the Army?"

I sighed thinking about it because it made me feel old. "I was thirty-five when I got out, so seven years, and I've had my business for six years now.

Lennox's eyes widened. "You certainly don't look like a man in your forties!"

I could feel the heat radiating across my cheeks at his compliment. "Thank you. I try to look after myself as best I can. Ditching the cigarettes and booze helped with that."

Lennox looked like he was considering whether to ask his next question or not. I smiled and took a guess at what it was.

"No, I wasn't an alcoholic, but I was damn close the way I was going. Haven't touched either in four years."

He nodded. "I take it with the way your business demands your time there isn't anyone waiting at home for you?"

I snorted. "Nah, Mr Right doesn't even know I exist."

Lennox looked at me in disbelief.

"What? Yes, your bodyguard is gay."

He shook his head. "I guess I just assumed that an ex-Army guy was probably straight."

"As a gay soldier, I let a lot of people assume exactly that, and told no one the truth about it, not really. Sure, I messed around with other gay recruits—we had ways of ending up in each other's company—but it's not something you can openly admit in the Army. I mean, they try to say that you can be honest about how you are, but you and I both know what that's like and how people are bloody quick to tell you that it's better you don't."

Lennox's smile was soft and regretful and didn't quite reach his eyes. He knew only too well how it felt given what he had just told me.

I rarely shared details of my own sexuality. These days it wasn't so much that I hid it, it was just that I was so used to not disclosing it, it was a habit for me now. Something in me craved talking honestly with him though. It felt good to be working on a policy of full disclosure between us.

"These days I'm just too fucking busy. This business has been my baby and my life since I started it. It's finally at a point where I can offer work to fellow ex-Army like me, and I can take a back seat almost. I focus on getting the work in and leave the heavy lifting to the team."

Lennox looks at me with a glimmer of confusion on his face. "You don't usually do the security part of it yourself anymore?"

I sighed. "No, not usually. I will keep my hand in to ensure that I'm not getting old and rusty. I tend to be more behind the scenes these days. I mean, having my own business has to have some perks." I shrugged with a smirk.

"I see." Lennox smiled back, the twinkle in his dark eyes told me he might have a suspicion about something. But for whatever reason, he wasn't ready to voice it for now, and I appreciated that about him.

"So, tell me." I changed the subject. "What made you come back to the music industry after it burned you the first time?"

He laughed, and his whole face relaxed and lit up. It was delightful to watch. "I'm a glutton for punishment?" He sighed and ran his fingers through his loose curls.

"I guess it was like a part of me was missing. I needed to get back to it, and it sounds a bit silly given the music business is what started all my troubles with booze. But I suppose I thought about it for long enough and came to the conclusion that it wasn't the music that was the problem. It was the people from the music business that I had been surrounded by.

"That's why I went with Alex and Johnny, and their team at 45RPM Records. They are true to who they are, and they don't piss around or hide, for better or worse I really respected that about them. I trusted they were the people to trust me enough to be myself too. No more hiding, no more bullshit, just me and the music I wanted to write that tells my story."

He looked so serene when he was talking about his music. There was a passion within him, and he clearly enjoyed what he did. I admired that and recognised it within myself. It was a weird comparison, but I enjoyed my job. I thrived when busy and I ultimately loved the fact that I was helping people.

Without me and my business, people were in danger. It wasn't something I liked to admit, because it made me sound like I was a cocky twat with a bit of a superhero complex, but it was the simple truth of it. Like this assignment now, without me, Lennox might well be in danger because of a woman who never quite got over her childhood crush. My brow furrowed as I thought about it and Lennox noticed.

He tilted his head and fixed me with a stare. "What happened there?"

"Huh?" I tried to deny that I had any idea what he was talking about.

"That look," he said, waving a finger in front of my face. "You were listening and then a thought crossed your mind, and you clearly didn't like it."

In a split second, I decided not to lie to him. We were starting on a bed of truths and might as well keep it that way. "I was just thinking that you clearly love your work, and I thought about how I love mine."

He was studying my face. Part of me wanted to flinch away from his attention, part of me wanted to bask in it.

"Makes me sound like a cock if I say that I like the risky business of personal protection, but I do. Then I thought about the job I have here with you and the danger that might involve, and it brought me back into work mode I guess."

He bit his lips and absently nodded, clearly contemplating what it was I had said. "Do you think she could be that dangerous?"

"I won't let her be." I wasn't sure it was the most appropriate response to someone I was meant to be looking after, and barely knew, but it seemed right to lean and touch his arm. To comfort him, reassure him that I wouldn't let anything happen to him.

Thoughts of how I wanted that to also be the case after the situation with his stalker was over also flooded my brain. My thoughts were interrupted by Lennox's hand coming over mine and giving it a squeeze.

As I looked up at him, there was a moment where neither of us wanted to break the contact between us. Ever the idiot, I moved my hand away first. I cleared my throat, checked my phone, and pretended I needed to nip out into the hallway to make a call.