Chapter 5

By the timewe arrived at the hotel in Birmingham, I was exhausted and then some. Tom took care of everything. He checked us in, he took our bags himself, scoped out everything in the rooms before he let me go in and get settled.

"I have a meeting with the hotel manager and some more members of my security team in about five minutes. I'll introduce you to them all later. You need to be familiar with the faces that you're going to be able to trust for a while. You get yourself settled and I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Can I order room service?" I wasn't sure of the rules yet, or what would be deemed as safe.

Tom smiled. "Yes, call and get food. When I get downstairs, I'll arrange for one of my guys to bring it up to you. His name is Levi, he's about four inches shorter than you, blonde hair, green eyes, looks totally unassuming, average build. If the person bringing your food doesn't look like that, don't open the door. You ask them to leave it outside and you call me. Give me your phone."

I didn't hesitate for a second in handing over my phone to him. He was strong and forceful, and there was something about him which made me feel safer than I had done in weeks.

He handed it back to me and held it for a second longer than necessary to ensure he had my attention. "Close the door tight after me and lock it. I'll be back as soon as I can."

I nodded, following him to the door and bolted it behind him. Flopping back down on the bed, I had a browse of the menu to try and decide what it was I wanted, but the layers of tension that had accumulated were hard to ignore. I decided to relax in the bath first.

Sitting on the edge of the tub, I turned the taps on and watched as the water poured into the bath. I grabbed the tiny complimentary bottle of bubble bath from the countertop around the sink and poured it all into the warm water.

I went back into the room to dig through my bag, grabbing some fresh underwear and joggers which I left to the side of the sink. I put my phone onto charge by the bed and went back into the bathroom. Stripping off I turned off the taps, tested the water temperature, and slowly lowered my exhausted frame into the soothing warm bubbles.

My whole being was grateful I was finally getting some much needed rest. After washing my hair and body, I allowed myself to sink back into the bubbles and close my eyes.

I remembernothing else until there was a loud bang and I was vaguely aware of someone calling my name. The door of the bathroom flew open, and Tom bounced around the door. "Lennox?"

My mouth and nose slipped under the water, and I coughed myself back to full consciousness.

"Lennox? Are you okay?"

I nodded, sitting myself up straighter in the tub, rubbing my hands over my face before realising I was still naked and dropping my hands to my lap to cover my modesty.

"Sorry, I must have fallen asleep," I admitted sheepishly, feeling heat starting to rise in my cheeks.

"I did call but you didn't answer. I needed to check you were okay," he explained.

I nodded, swallowing my embarrassment and thinking about my stupidity; I could have easily accidentally drowned myself in the bath, simply by falling asleep. "I'm sorry for panicking you."

Tom held up his hands in surrender. "No, it's okay, it's not surprising you're exhausted after everything. I'm sorry for bursting in on you. I'll just be..." His voice trailed off and he gestured back out of the bathroom before leaving and closing the door behind him without another word.

I sighed and drew in another breath, holding it before I allowed myself to immerse completely under the water. Christ, I was a fucking moron. Once I felt my lungs burning with a need for air, I pulled myself back up and wiped the water from my face with my hand.

Dried off and clothed,I shook my head and left the bathroom. Tom was setting out the food that had been delivered. It was pretty much a selection of most items on their small room service menu.

"I assumed you still wouldn't have eaten anything, so I got them to bring up a bit of everything they did," he explained. "For what it's worth, a bath while you're that exhausted might not be the smartest move. At least not without someone else in the room to keep checking on you."

My cheeks felt like they were starting to burn all over again. "Sorry, I just wanted to finally relax."

Tom grinned. "If you can relax, then I'm doing my job right. That's a good thing, don't apologise for that. Just tell me next time, so I can be here to check on you in case you fall asleep."

I nodded.

"Now, can I interest you in anything here?" He gestured at the selection of hot and cold food spread out across the table in my room.

My stomach growled in reply, and I bit my bottom lip thinking about what it was I had last eaten. Properly before the concert. Carl had attempted to get me to eat last night after the room invasion, but I had barely picked over what was there. Right now, I was starving, and the fact Tom had been courteous enough to order a bit of everything and made sure I was eating was comforting to say the least.

I grabbed the empty plate he held out for me, and I lifted a bit of everything that looked delicious until I had a full platter. Tom did the same and sat at the small table with two chairs arranged in front of the window.

The first bite sent me into foodgasmic heaven. "Oh, mmmmm!"

Tom wiped his thumb across his mouth with a grin at my reaction. "Sounds like you needed that as much as you needed the bath."

With my mouth full of delicious food, all I could do was nod in agreement. I didn't know if the food was actually that good, or if it was just that after so long without anything sensible in my stomach, my body was delighted I was feeding it. Either way, I was enjoying the feast in front of us, and I wasn't ashamed to admit it.

After a few mouthfuls, Tom's gaze in my direction started to feel like heat on my skin. "Sorry, I'm stuffing my face; I haven't eaten properly since before last night's concert."

He wiped his mouth with a napkin and sat back with a smirk. "I'm happy to see you enjoying your food. It's all good with me."

"Thank you for all this."

He shrugged. "Not a problem."

"Next time I'm taking a bath I'll make sure I tell you first, and I'll take my phone with me."

"Thank you, that'd make life easier. I know this process is going to be quite intrusive, but it's a necessary evil. I don't mean to sound like I'm being a bossy bastard."

I shook my head and put up a hand. "No, it's fine, honestly. I totally understand what makes it a necessity. I promise to keep you informed of everything I'm doing when I'm not in your sight in future to make sure there are no misunderstandings or scares like this evening. I'm not here to try and make your job more difficult."

He smiled, seemingly satisfied with my response. "So, now is as good a time as ever to go over the rules of this situation, I guess. If that's okay with you?"

I gestured for him to continue.

"If you're going anywhere, I would like to know ahead of time, and I will insist that I go with you. If you are taking a bath, going to bed, or whatever it happens to be, and I'm somewhere else in the building, I would ask that you tell me, and if it's that you're in the bath or shower, you take your phone with you in case anything comes up and I need to contact you."

"All sounds sensible so far," I agreed.

"If I'm not available, Levi will be instead. You met him earlier, and in London, remember?"

Taking another bite of food, I nodded.

"I will always be in the same suite or in an adjoining room, and I ask you not to lock any doors between us for your own safety."

"Does that include the bathroom door?" I ask around a mouthful of food.

"Only if you're going to make a habit of falling asleep in the bath." He grinned back at me and for the first time that day I noticed he had a particularly nice smile. It was warm and genuine and something cheeky sparkled in the corner of his eyes when he did it.

I sat back in my chair, rubbing my bare stomach, stuffed with all the food I had feasted on. "Scouts honour." I grinned back at him, attempting a terrible Scout salute to go with it.

He laughed. "Why do I feel like you were never in the Scouts?"

I feigned innocence and shrugged my shoulders.

His smile faded a little and his brows furrowed. "Why did you leave the boy band, if you don't mind me asking?"

I shook my head. It wasn't something that I hid from anyone. "Long story short, they didn't allow me to be who I really was and it drove me to self-medicate with alcohol."

"They?"

"The record label, the management team." I sighed. "I'm bisexual, and even before I was in the band, I had had a boyfriend and a girlfriend or two, but they believed it was better for the band not to say that. They thought they could make more money if I was this straight guy who all the girls could fawn over. Only problem with that idea was the older I got, the more and more I was attracted to other men.

"I wanted to be a normal guy in my late teens and early twenties. I wanted to date, to experience life and be with whoever I wanted to. Not being able to do that really started to get to me. I started to not like myself. I started to not like the life I was living, and the secrets I was keeping. To compensate for that I started to drink. And then it was me drinking too much, but it wasn't a problem, right? I mean I was just a social drinker; it wasn't like I was an alcoholic, and at least it wasn't drugs, right?"

Tom's expression was one of simple compassion. There was no judgement or pity. It was refreshing to tell someone my truth and not have them look at me differently because of it. The ease with which I could talk to Tom about all this surprised me a little. It felt comforting, and yet at the same time bizarre to trust someone without hesitation like I could with him.

"Obviously, in reality, it was a big fucking problem. Something needed to change before it killed me, and I checked myself into rehab to try and get my life back to being my own."

"I take it from the very fact that you're here and back out in the music business you did exactly that?" he asked unobtrusively.

I ran my tongue over my lips to wet them before I continued, and I felt his eyes tracking the movement. "Well, I've been sober for twelve years now. When I quit the band, I lost four guys I thought were my best friends, but they dismissed me at the time as being a selfish wanker. The management team was more worried about the fans than me, and the label dropped me like a stone. But I was free, and for the first time since before I went to that bloody audition my life was my own again. It felt damn good. Looking back on it all, who knows what the hell the guys in the band were told about the situation. I'm just saddened that not once did one of them ever reach out to me and ask about it."

His smile made me feel like he was proud of my actions. I knew that I was these days – of all the progress I had made in my life and now with my music again. I used to be so unsure of myself, to worry that I'd made the biggest mistake of my life. Maturity and distance from those events were always showing me that it wasn't necessary; I was doing well. I was thriving, and aside from the hiccup of the stalker, I was hoping that would continue.