Chapter 7

7

On our last day, we spent the whole day on the water, balancing and gliding on paddleboards. I was aware my skin would be raw by the time the sun set, but I didn't care about those chances. I was absorbed in the last moments of freedom I had.

That freedom washed over me like a calm breeze, with salt in the air and the lapping water against my ankles. I could feel my muscles loosen with every deep breath of the ocean air and the tightness in my chest loosening with every touch of cool water. It was a moment where the realisation that I was just one in a billion people living in this world sank into my bones, and here I was, living in the moment, and I was happy. So happy.

I reopened my eyes with my head tilted back towards the sky. A smile pulled at my lips as I continued to soak up the sun no matter how much it started to sting my skin.

"Kody? You good?" I looked over to Reece as he paddled up next to me with an amused smile on his face.

It had been two nights since he disappeared on us. And like it was merely a dream, he had been back to his old self the next day, chipper as can be and not a single mention of it.

Like the night before, when it was an all-eighties disco, he was singing obnoxiously loud to ABBA songs and dancing without a care in the world. It was when Dancing Queen came on that he pointed to me and dragged me to dance with him while singing the lyrics to me with my face in his hands. He dipped me and the widest smile had stretched across our faces while his arm held me tight around my waist. Not a single hint of sadness glinted in his gaze, making me wonder how he could slip that mask on so easily.

I swallowed my thoughts down. "Yeah, I'm good. Why?"

He pointed with his paddle towards our group who had strayed a fair distance away from us. I mumbled a "shit" and started paddling to catch up, but was careful not to throw myself off the board.

Reece chuckled to himself as he paddled along next to me. "I mean, I almost didn't want to disturb you. You looked very content."

I chuckled. "I'm just soaking up our last moments here."

I felt like I hadn't ever smiled as much as I had in that week. It felt like the weight had lifted off my shoulders.

He hummed. "I know what you mean. This week has been…" He paused as he searched for the words before looking at me. "One to remember, that's for sure."

I beamed before looking back to our friends as we caught up to them.

"You are going to be so red tomorrow," he said, eyes gliding over my shoulders and over my face.

"Yeah," I laughed. "I'm going to hate myself tomorrow."

He tsked. "Need to learn how to slip slop slap. That wouldn't happen then."

I chuckled again. "I know. I forgot to reapply."

"Bad mistake, Summers."

It was another hour before we made our way back to the mainland and I could finally put sunscreen back on, albeit a little late.

We spent the rest of the afternoon on the beach, picking up a game of volleyball. Reece was finally on my team for our last game. We all did our rounds to serve the ball, and once it came to me, he stepped up beside me and gave a quick lesson on getting it over the net. I couldn't remember anything he said since my entire focus was on the gentle hold he had on my waist and arm.

Even with his pointers, I failed, so they let me step closer to serve it. My cheeks heated in embarrassment at how bad I was. Even Avery was able to get it over the net from the back of the drawn-out court, and she's a few inches shorter than me. I was just terrible at sports.

That didn't stop me from having fun, though, especially with Reece's encouragement and celebration whenever I eventually hit the ball over the net. He would sneak a high-five and smile before bringing his eyes back to the game.

I swallowed down the tiny swarm of butterflies that had taken flight at those little moments.

When the sun started to set, we got ready for the last night. It was the most excited I'd been the whole trip.

It was like a burst of colour. Literally. We were all dressed in white for the theme and as we entered the closed-off area of the park, we were handed balls of fluorescent coloured powder to throw around. We were instantly covered in different colours as soon as we walked in, standing out against our white clothing.

The sun was starting to set in the sky, but the view was obscured by the coloured powder whirling in the air as the music started to vibrate the sand beneath our feet.

As soon as I saw Reece, coloured powder exploded on his chest and drenched him in fluorescent pink, stopping him midstep a few metres away from us.

I hummed. "I thought so," I started, lips twitching at his shocked face. "Pink looks good on you."

His eyes narrowed on me, although they shone with amusement rather than the annoyance he tried to feign. "You're going to regret that."

He stalked towards me, and my face dropped as I watched him.

"Reece," I breathed before I turned and started running away with a squeal escaping my lips. But he was faster than me, clearly. I only took about six steps before he wrapped an arm around my waist and spun us around once.

Blue exploded in front of my eyes, sprinkling down from the top of my head. I shielded my eyes quickly as his chest started to rumble against my back.

"You can't run away from me, Kody." His voice was low, right next to my ear, as he placed me back on the ground and spun me around to face him.

I ignored, once again, the unwanted butterflies at his words. Swiping my hands over my face, making sure not to get any powder in my eyes, I looked at him and shoved his shoulder gently with amusement. Blue powder speckled across his face, and a whole blob covering his cheek.

I could just picture how I probably looked: my hair no longer blonde but blue and a stupid grin I could never get rid of around him.

"Jerk," I muttered, narrowing my eyes.

His lips widened before he stepped forward, and I was frozen in place when he gently took my face between his hands. It was hard not to lean into his touch as his thumbs swiped under my eyes. They fluttered closed at his touch, and then he brushed gently over my lids. The callous pads of his thumbs were rough from playing baseball, but they were the gentlest thing I had ever felt.

And just as quickly as it was there, his touch disappeared, and I swear I tried to follow them as they retreated. My eyes snapped open and up to Reece. His smile was softer, a curious glint in his eyes. It was gone in the next moment, replaced with his usual amusement.

He hummed. "Blue really does looks good on you."

And I knew I was screwed.

I had believed the attraction I felt for Reece faded out the moment he disappeared from my life. But the truth was, it was living dormant inside me, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce. And that made me feel sick with betrayal when I thought about Liam.

I'd known Liam since we were kids, having been in the same classes together since we were in year 3. We were never really anything more than acquaintances, though. Until he started walking with me to classes and sitting next to me, sneaking notes to me. I liked his shyness, so when he asked me out, I said yes.

Liam was good to me. He was gentle and caring and he felt so safe. But something deep within me hated that. When his arms wrapped around me, it felt foreign. When he kissed me, it didn't feel right. And when we had sex, it felt too robotic.

He looked at me like I hung the moon, but I was merely an impostor in disguise. I felt like I should have felt something. Like I should have felt my heart soften or pump harder. But I didn't feel connected to him in the way I should have. It just felt like we were friends who occasionally hooked up.

He tried so hard to make it work, but I knew when he got bored of my indifference. I saw it when his eyes started to wander other places, to other people, and I felt nothing. I just felt guilty that I was clinging to the idea of not being alone.

I was scared to break things off with him, though. Scared of losing the familiarity of him.

But I was unable to help the instinct to run when he confessed he loved me. And it made me sick to my stomach.

I couldn't keep stringing him along. I just knew I didn't want safe and easy. I wanted something wild and crazy. I wanted someone who challenged me and someone who could pull out the truest side of me. Where I can live freely myself and not care about being judged.

And with Reece, I had started to feel that.

I could feel it with every moment I spent with him, sitting by the river as we talked. I could feel it start to flutter back to life throughout the week with every smile, every touch and every laugh. It was all creeping back slowly, one butterfly at a time, with the warning of spreading more.

I didn't see Reece after our moment until later that night. If I was being truthful, I was kind of avoiding him. The realisation, mixed with guilt and fear, made me want to run. I was scared of a lot of things then. But Reece… he was the one thing that scared me the most which is why I never sought an answer from him all those months ago. I avoided him as much as he did me.

We were aboard a large boat that held a huge dance floor on the main level, with a DJ stage, and strobe lights flickering around. It sailed past the nearby islands like Hamilton Island. But not a lot of people paid attention to the islands when the music was pounding and we were all squished together.

Avery, Alex and I danced, sang, laughed and screamed the whole night away. It was the most fun of all the nights the past week, surrounded by the people that care about me.

It felt like time was moving too quickly, and it was midnight before I knew it.

I was exhausted, but Avery and Alex kept dancing and singing. We drifted towards the outside of the dancefloor to make it easier for me to find them while I escaped to the balcony for some much-needed fresh air. The cool wind crashed into my heated skin, and I sighed in relief as my body relaxed against the railing.

The boat was on its way back to the docks, so I didn't have much time until I had to go back to them and we'd be crashing in our hotel with heavy exhaustion.

My thoughts started to wander to the reality I would have to face when we got back home with my mother and my nonexistent future when I felt his presence beside me. I think I could always tell when he was near. His energy and his warmth was an odd comfort and familiar already. Just like that, all of those overwhelming thoughts disappeared.

"Mind if I join you?" His voice was just heard over the music and the water slapping against the boat. He had a sombre look on his face as his eyes flicked to mine, waiting for an answer. I smiled and nodded. The nonverbal response was enough for his shoulders to relax as he returned his gaze to the water, like he was relieved he didn't have to be alone.

It was quiet for a long moment, the two of us just enjoying the presence of each other. Our shoulders almost pressed together. Our hand's mere centimetres from each other on the railing. There was so much room on the balcony, but still, I didn't pull away to make room, and he didn't move either. My heart felt like it was beating double time against my rib cage.

"I heard your brother was back in town." He broke the silence, dampening the butterflies that had started to flutter around my stomach.

The mention of my brother brought reality crashing further on me. Of the metaphorical wedge driven between us.

"Yeah, he came for my graduation and he's leaving on January 4th," I mentioned.

"Remind him to come to our games before he leaves. We've got four more before Christmas break," he told me as he turned to face me. I glanced up at him before he spoke again. "You'll be there too, won't you?"

I shrugged. "I don't know. I'd feel weird going after everything."

He squeezed one of my hands that still held onto the bar in front. "You'll be fine. He may not want to talk to you though, but we're friends." He brushed his thumb over my hand as his usual grin slid into place. "And I'm inviting you so that means you have to come."

Those flutters grew as he kept his gaze on me with that stupid grin that I had to look away from, aiming my gaze over his shoulder. "I'll think about it."

I saw his lips growing from the corner of my eye, and I couldn't stop my eyes from dragging back to him just to see it stretch across his face. "Good, because I don't want anything we've built this week ruined again. I'll always be your friend, Summers."

I smiled and his eyes flicked down to watch it grow on my face the same way I had before. His eyes seemed to brighten with happiness at the sight. And I just wished that none of it had to end.

I voiced my thoughts. "I wish I could just stay here and all of this never had to end. No more real life. Just this."

He flicked his gaze back to mine, eyes bouncing over every feature of my face. I couldn't read what he was thinking. I could see something in his eyes, but it was like it was hidden behind a frosted glass window. Because my focus was more drawn to the blends of green and flecks of brown in his eyes. Even in the dimmed light that was around us, it was the clearest I'd seen them.

It was like a magnet was pulling us together. I didn't realise we had taken a step towards each other until he tucked a blonde flyaway piece of hair behind my ear and whispered words that only I could hear. "I wish I didn't have to leave either. This is the most I've enjoyed life in a really long time. And I don't think that would have been possible without you."

He stepped closer and I felt his breath dance across my lips. His hand was holding the back of my neck with his thumb sweeping across my jaw and I felt weakened by his touch.

I had thought about how it would feel to have his lips on mine a lot since I met him, but never did I think it would become real. Because it was him and I. And I was one of his friends' sisters and one of his best friends' exes. Not a good mix for any fantasy I'd had of the possibility of us.

"Reece." My words came out as a breath and sounded like a mix of a plea and warning. A ‘please' and a ‘don't start something you'll regret'.

But even I could hear the plea louder than the warning, and I think he could too because his eyes darkened. So many emotions swirled in his eyes that I couldn't even pick one.

"Kody," he whispered back.

Our breaths mixed and I was consumed in the moment.

Then the spell was broken, the speakerphone of the boat crackling to life, announcing the end of the night and to prepare to disembark from the boat. I jumped away from him, blinking out of the daze I had been in. It was like glass shattered and the fog disappeared, making me realise the people around us, my friend's mere metres away, but none were paying attention.

It seemed to click for him, too because he was frowning as he combed his fingers through his hair, lacing them behind his neck as he stepped away from me.

He hooked a thumb over his shoulder and cleared his throat, not meeting my eyes. "I should get back to Jake and Sage."

I nodded as I swallowed, feeling everything we just said about not wanting to leave here fray apart. Because we couldn't wait to get away from the tension we had created in our desperate need to cling to this time.

He turned and left down the stairs without another word, and I tilted my head back, closing my eyes and wishing I could dive into the water and sink until no one could hear me scream.

Because somehow I always happen to mess up every good thing in my life.