Chapter 6

6

My toes dug into the sand as I made my way down the empty beach with my shoes dangling from my fingers. It was past two in the morning, and not a soul was on the beach this far out save for him and I.

The sound of the crashing waves and the sand squeezing between my toes broke through the silence. The party was just about to wind down when I left and the muffled boom of the music still echoed in the air, but the waves drowned out most of it. I dragged my feet through the shoreline as the water lapped at my ankles and I stared up at the darkened sky. Stars littered the sky without as much light pollution around, and I marvelled at the beauty I wasn't used to seeing, surrounding the full moon.

I followed blindly down the beach with the location on my maps, squinting every now and then through the darkness hoping to find him. I had terrible eyesight at night, but with the combination of the moonlight and the dim glow of the street lights a few metres away helped me in my search.

It was another minute of wandering before I finally looked up and saw his shadowy figure lying in the sand with his hands propped behind him and his gaze lost in the darkness above. He hadn't noticed my approach, seemingly deep in thought with his pinched brows and lips in a hard line.

It was only when I took a seat beside him that he blinked down at me with a look that almost brought me to my knees. I could only describe the look as… broken. He tried to cover it with a lopsided grin as soon as he took me in, but it was the downcast of his eyes and the redness rimming them that shattered that facade. He didn't have time to build those walls to prevent me from seeing him like that.

I hesitated a little, wondering if I should have come at all. It felt like I was intruding. Like this was something I wasn't meant to see. This was something bigger than random thoughts or silly little secrets like I was used to by the riverside. Bigger than I was prepared for when Jake came to me in panic or when I got Reece's reply. But my chest ached at seeing him like that, and I couldn't see it in myself to leave him like this. It only made my chest ache more, knowing that he was alone, left to stew in his own thoughts before I got there.

"Hi," I whispered just a breath above the sound of the waves. It was like the bubble he had surrounded himself in had pulled me into its atmosphere and my voice couldn't bear to utter any louder than that, scared to shatter the confinement.

I wondered for a split second if he even heard me.

"Hi," he whispered back.

He watched me for a moment before returning his gaze up to the sky, leaning back against his hands again.

I watched him as his features pulled down, and he lost himself in his thoughts once again.

My feet were buried under the sand while my arms hugged my knees. "Are you okay?"

He never removed his gaze from the sky. The only tell that I knew he heard me was how he pressed his lips together and the furrow of his brows. He didn't utter a single word as he mulled the question over before squinting and tilting his head from side to side as an answer.

I sighed, the urge to push more to find out what was going on with him too strong to ignore. "Why did you disappear and ignore everyone's text? We were worried."

The question finally brought his gaze to me.

Reece was the type of person to hide behind his charming smile and wit, yet in that fleeting moment, he laid bare this raw pain that I had never seen — a rare vulnerability just for me to see, whether intentional or not.

He didn't even try to hide it with a smile this time and that made my heart break for him. His eyes were filling with unshed tears and the skin around pulled taut with restraint. Whatever was going on inside his head distressed him so much he was ready to break. It made me want to uncover whatever darkness and pain he was consumed by and help lift the heaviness that sagged his shoulders. To wrap him in my arms and protect him from whatever hurt him. I wanted to protect him from whatever made him feel so depleted and broken.

His brows bunched together. "Well, I texted you, didn't I?"

I shot him a pointed look and he sighed.

"Today is already hard for me. It was getting too much and I just needed someone. That's why I texted you. I just wanted to sit in silence and not talk about it. Can we do that please?"

It was something about his tone – pleading with an undertone of exhaustion – that had me reaching for his hand. I smiled and obliged him, mimicking his position before raising my gaze up to the stars and breathing in the cool air that brushed our skin.

It was like he had this wall guarded around any and all of his thoughts and emotions. I don't think he had shown this side to anyone and that's what made me want to shake him and scream at him to let it out. To stop bottling it all up and to scream at the ocean or at me. I didn't care. I would have held him through it. I would have been the shoulder to cry on or the verbal punching bag he needed. I just didn't want him to deal with it on his own.

But I conceded, knowing that the hint of pain that he allowed me to see was hard enough for him. He let me take his hand, which seemed to be enough to hold him through the inner turmoil he seemed to be going through, to take even just the tiniest bit of pressure off him by my presence and our interconnected hands.

It was silent for a while between us. I didn't know how much time had passed. But every so often, I felt his hand squeeze a little tighter and I held it back just as tight in those moments as he fought through his thoughts with a furrow of his brows.

His voice finally broke through the silence, tight and gravel, like he was fighting to hold back all his emotions. "Do you ever wish you could go back in time and change things that have happened in your life? Like stop yourself from doing something stupid, do something you should have done, or even…" He stopped himself on a swallow as his face pinched in pain.

My eyes flickered over his face, like I could somehow transport myself into his head and see all he could see. But I couldn't, so I clamped tighter around his hand.

"All the time," I admitted.

I wished I had been better prepared for my future and decided what I wanted to do. I would have stood up to my mother and not let her try to control me for so long. I wouldn't have gotten involved with Liam if I had realised before that I was too scared of having something real.

He sighed with a deep breath as he looked at me, the pain still so evident in his. "I would change so much." His last word cracked as he whipped his eyes away from mine and wiped furiously at them with the back of his wrist.

I swallowed, my brows pinching as I turned toward him. "I'm right here, Reece," I whispered desperately, begging for him to trust me enough to be real with me. To let me see the raw him. Let it out .

There was a long moment where our gaze never left each other. There was a war fighting in his eyes and I willed him to push those words through his lips. But he just let out a deep breath before leaning forward to tuck his head into my neck.

It was then I realised his hair was wet, with speckles of sand throughout it as I dragged my fingers through it. I held him as he breathed out a shuddered sigh against my skin.

I wanted to fix whatever was broken inside him, but it was silly to think that when I knew I couldn't do it on my own. I wanted to be the strength he needed. But I did have some sense to draw a mental line between us, knowing I could never cross that friendship line. I knew it would just be too messy between us.

He lifted his head off my shoulder after a while and let out a deep breath as a hand dove through his hair. "Wow, that got real deep."

I laughed, even though it felt as though there was a fist-sized lump in my throat. "Yeah."

He shook his hands out and stood as he did the same with his legs as if shaking off the emotions that had overcome him, letting it fall to the ground like the clumps of sand that he had just shook off. I knew that I wasn't getting any more from him, and I wouldn't force it out of him. I would only be there for him when he decided to talk or just be there for him like he had for me many times before. Even in those times by the river, it was hard for him to open up. But he was my friend and I would show him he could trust me with anything.

He reached an arm out towards me, offering help to stand up. I took it and his teeth showed with a grin as he pulled me up, no trace of anything I had seen in the last thirty minutes we were there.

"Come on, I'll walk you back to your hotel."

A strained smile took place on my lips. "Thank you."

It was mostly quiet as we made our way through the streets apart from the buzzing of the street lights above and the odd couple of cars that zoomed past us.

I hadn't realised how far away he had strayed when I had made my way to him, but walking back felt like the longest seven minutes of my life.

We were about halfway there when Reece spoke with the crease back between his brows and he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry I worried everyone. I didn't mean to just disappear. I was just lost in my head and needed space. It's been a really tough day."

Hesitantly, I peeled back the lid he had slammed shut before on the beach. "What happened? You seemed okay this morning."

He scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess I just didn't want to think about it. I wanted to distract myself. But then I had a call from my dad and I guess I just—" He cut himself off as he scrubbed his face with both hands before turning to me with a smile that hid everything that was just about to peek through. "Anyway, I'm sorry." He paused, eyes flicking over my face for a moment as a smirk rose on his face as if he remembered something. "I especially didn't mean to worry you, Kody."

The nickname came as a shock to me. Only my mother had called me that. I hated it when I was younger because it sounded like a boy's name. I never heard it again after the divorce was filed.

But with him and the way it came from his lips… well, I didn't really mind it at all. I wasn't sure I even hated it anymore.

But I didn't let him know that as I wrinkled my nose. "I'm not a fan of that nickname."

He wrapped an arm around my shoulders just like he always had. "Well, all the more to call you that."

I glared at him playfully but didn't say anything more about it.

A couple of moments passed before I spoke again. "And I wasn't that worried."

He chuckled. "You definitely were. I have texts to prove otherwise."

I scoffed, but I knew he had me there. I brushed it off nonchalantly as sarcasm laced my words. "Okay."

"See? You admit it."

I pushed him off me as he cackled.

We got to my hotel about five minutes later. With the silence broken, we joked and pushed and made fun of each other. Well, mostly he made fun of me, my text, and the new nickname.

I almost wished the trip back was longer but I was tired. It was quarter to three and I was ready to collapse into bed.

Just as I was about to say goodnight, his soft voice pierced through the night with a soft caress against my arm that was gone before I could even register it. "Hey."

My eyes bounced between his and gone was his playful grin, just a mix of solemnity and gratitude in his stare as a crease formed in his forehead. "Thank you for being there for me. I needed it."

I reached over to squeeze his bicep. "Always. It's what friends are for."

He smiled. "You're a good friend." He turned around and started to walk away before throwing over his shoulder, "Goodnight, Kody."

A burst of laughter escaped my lips. "I hate you."

"No you don't," he sang.

"Goodnight, Reece."

He turned to me, continuing to walk backward as he saluted me.

"So, you came back late," were the first words that came out of Avery's mouth during breakfast the morning after. I sat there still half asleep as the observation rolled from her lips as nonchalantly as she could muster.

I had about three hours of restless sleep before Avery was impatiently shaking me awake after her morning run. Surprisingly, Alex was already bright and awake right next to Avery as I blinked the sleep from my eyes, innocently smiling at me with a bag of food in his arms. I should have known Avery would have been impatient to get answers to what happened when I parted ways with them.

Half-lidded and blurry-eyed, I stuffed a mouthful of the breakfast burger in my mouth to avoid the question for as long as I could. But they both sat patiently across from me on the bed, waiting with bated breaths for my answers.

"It wasn't that late," I mumbled into my breakfast burger.

"I was almost falling asleep when I heard you open the door. And you know how long it takes me to fall asleep," Avery stated, an eyebrow raised.

I narrowed my eyes. "I came home just over an hour after you."

She shrugged. "Still."

Alex shoved a forkful of food in his mouth before pointing it towards me. "You're deflecting. Give us the details."

"I don't know what you want me to tell you." I shrugged. "We talked. He walked me back to the hotel. Then he left. That's it."

"Did he say why he suddenly disappeared?"

"No," I half-lied. He told me it was a tough day for him and that he took a phone call with his dad before disappearing which felt too vulnerable to tell Avery and Alex. But then it also sounded very vague when I thought about it. I didn't know anything about what was going on with him.

He lifted a brow. "That's it?" I nodded and he slumped into his chair. "You're no fun."

I chuckled. "What do you mean? I'm loads of fun."

He pouted, shoving another forkful into his mouth. "You could have kissed him. Give me something juicy at least."

I sobered, dropping my burger to take a sip of my coffee. Or more like gulped it down. "That won't ever be happening."

He frowned. "Are you okay?"

Yes. No.

I had no clue if anything was okay. God, my life was such a mess. But it didn't feel as lonely, not after the night before. Reece had his own mess and I wanted so badly to know what was going on with him so I could be there for him and understand him. But he would not have that. A brick wall about ten feet high stopped me from that.

I put on a smile to hide all the thoughts swirling in my head and picked my burger back up. "We hung out, talked, and then he walked me back here. Nothing juicy happened. Sorry to disappoint."

Alex huffed as he slouched back in his chair. "That's not exactly what I asked but I'll let it slide," he muttered.

That pulled a real smile out of me, but I could still feel Avery burning holes through the side of my head letting me know she had definitely not let it go. I knew later on she would corner me to pry.

"So, I'm thinking we do something together. Just the three of us. Something relaxing." She flipped her phone towards me, showing me a booking confirmation. "So I booked us a spa day." Then she narrowed her eyes on Alex beside her. "Don't even give me that eye roll Alex, I think you will like it. I have been dying to do this all week. I've already covered the cost so you have to come. No excuses."

His hand did a little ‘gimme' gesture towards Avery's phone. She handed it over and he scrolled through with a narrowed gaze.

He finally hummed. "Okay, fine. I'll go. As long as I get a little nap beforehand. You woke me way too early for no reason. This isn't even until ten o'clock."

Both Avery and I laughed but agreed to let him have his nap, even though we explained he could nap during the massage included in our package. But he didn't care, saying two naps in a day was an ideal day for him.

It rolled over to ten o'clock quickly, and our day from then on consisted of saunas, facials, hot stone and head massages, body scrubs, and manicures and pedicures. We thought Alex would grumble about the mani-pedis but he was way too relaxed to even speak a word. He just laid there the whole five hours, letting the therapist pull him every which way.

We were on the beds side by side, with Alex snoozing on my left and Avery on my right, when she decided to interrogate me again.

"So, just talking huh?" Her voice was just a mere whisper.

"What do you mean?" I whispered back.

"You and Reece last night."

"Ah. Then yes, just talking."

"What did you guys talk about that made you look so…" She waved her hand in the air like she was trying to grasp the words. "… resigned and drained this morning."

"I don't think I was resigned."

"But you looked it."

I paused at that because I guess she was right. I realised a lot about how similar Reece and I were and I wasn't sure that was a good thing. How it seemed like he would open up to me but he shut himself off and I knew he would do it again and again. And I had been so quick to want to fix him. To help him. To be there for him.

But I didn't tell Avery that. I didn't even know how to, except for how I had already told them.

"I guess with Reece being upset, I took a lot of that on and I didn't know what to do to help him because I didn't know what was going on. I just held his hand and that was that."

She smiled and held out her hand for me to grab. "I get that. That little shit over there cried to me for almost an hour straight a few weeks ago and I didn't know what to do or why he was upset. And then he wiped his tears and stood up and said ‘I'm good now'." She laughed and the face mask she wore cracked. Her eyes widened immediately after as she sobered and turned her head. "Shit. Don't tell him I said that. He told me to keep it between us. I think he was a little embarrassed."

I zipped my lips, although it hurt a little that he would keep something from me like that. But I guessed it was the same way with me talking to Avery then.

Alex startled himself out of his sleep as he leaned up on his elbows.

"How long was I out?" His voice was groggy with sleep.

"About ten minutes," Avery responded.

"Cool. Ten more minutes." And then he laid back down and went back to sleep while Avery and I snickered.

It was the perfect day and I felt like I was just floating on air. I almost collapsed in bed when we arrived back that evening. But with all that sleep Alex had, it just energized him and he did not let us even step near the bed, only hauled us into the bathroom to get ready for the night.

And when we walked through the streets on night five of our week, I threaded my arms through theirs and dropped my head on Avery's. "Thank you for today. It was the absolute best."

Alex hummed in agreement. "The best."