Chapter 8

8

We flew home noon the next day, the bliss of the week officially over. I was slightly anxious to return home, knowing my mother would call the second the plane touched down.

I wasn't ready to talk to her, knowing it would be focused on my next steps in life, plans and future goals, and all the things I was scared to think about. But, I knew I couldn't avoid it. I had expected it. She allowed me to go on this trip so long as I met with her to talk about my future after I came back.

She was scared of me having no plan. I was scared of having a plan.

After the boat party ended, Avery, Alex, and I went straight to the hotel and fell asleep. I checked my phone on the way back, and it lit up with several texts from my mother, reminding me of her agreement and to call her tomorrow. I didn't bother replying, I knew she would call regardless.

My brother also texted me to let me know he was coming to pick me up from the airport instead of Dad, so I flicked him the details of my flight.

Reece and his friends had the same flight back as us, but it was awkward as hell. The moment his eyes met mine when we arrived at the gate, I could feel the tension strain between us. There wasn't time for us to talk, and even if there was, I didn't know what I would say. But the distance ate at me.

I was building courage to talk to him as soon as we got out of the loud airport, but my chance fizzled out when Nate was there waiting for me. Leaning against his 4x4 ute, a smug grin stretched across his cheeks as he held a sign against his chest with ‘Kodaline' scrawled across it, an inside joke of ours. I rolled my eyes as my cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

He dropped the sign when his eyes rose to the boys standing behind me, and surprise flickered across his face. I was long forgotten in his mind when he reunited with Reece.

"Dude!" Nate walked past me and clapped Reece on the back. "What the hell are you doing here? I thought you went to the Goldie? What happened to that?" He peppered question after question before moving on to greet Jake and Sage the same.

Nate turned back to Reece for his final question. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Reece's gaze flicked to mine momentarily before focusing back on my brother as he shrugged. "Guess I forgot."

Nate slugged Reece on the shoulder before he started chatting away about Townsville, and all the things he's done. I could slowly feel the distance between Reece and me stretch with every second. The acknowledgement of my brother being his friend. The realisation that whatever had begun on our week away, will never be the same back home. The realisation of how caught up we were when his head tilted towards mine the night before like he was going to kiss me.

While my brother talked animatedly to Jake and Sage, Reece's gaze travelled over my brother's shoulder to where I stood by Nate's ute. I was too far away to read anything by it, but I could still feel the heat of them from this distance. With our gaze locked, everything faded away around us, Alex and Avery's bickering turning into a muffled echo. It was like we were taking in the last moments of that holiday fog as it dwindled away.

"Alright," Nate announced, snapping me from the daze as he started walking back to me. He wrapped me in his arms as his first greeting to me before turning back to his friends, keeping an arm over my shoulder. "I'll see you guys tomorrow, then. Make sure you put on a good performance for me. I expect greatness."

Jake pointed to me. "You better be there, too, Dakota. I want the whole cheering squad there shouting my name."

I smirked as Sage rolled his eyes beside him.

Nate's arm tightened around me. "I'll make sure she's there, right, ‘Kods?"

I pressed my lips together as I forced my lips to curve. "Sure."

"Good." Jake pushed my brother out of the way and wrapped his arms around me. "Nice to meet you, Dakota."

He bumped his fists with mine before disappearing to his ride. Sage wrapped an arm around me in goodbye, then bumped fists with Nate as he left.

Reece stood in front of me and when I looked up at him, he smiled. But it wasn't like the ones I had seen all week. It was restrained. Forced.

One arm slid around my shoulders, while the other held the back of my head, as he whispered two words for only me to hear.

"I'm sorry."

He scrunched up my hair, fizzing up the back, before pulling away. His smile was back to his usual goofy one as he clapped my brother on the back. "Good to see you, dude. I'll be online when I get home."

My brother smiled. "Good. I'm going to smoke your ass in Rocket League."

I rolled my eyes at their mention of video games.

"You wish you were as good as me," Reece shouted as he walked backward towards his ride. He looked at me and gave us a two-finger salute before turning to load his bags into the taxi, feeling a part of me go with him.

I said my goodbyes to my friends as Nate put away my bags. My head was swirling with the words Reece had whispered to me as I got in the passenger seat and leaned my head back against the headrest. Nate took off shortly after.

I'm sorry.

Sorry for what? Sorry for the almost kiss? Sorry for not kissing me? Sorry for… god what?

He had nothing to be sorry for. We almost kissed. Big deal. Did he wish it never happened? Because I definitely had no clue how to feel. I knew it made my heart beat so fast it felt like it could have beat out of my chest. I knew everything had faded around us, and I only saw him and the way his eyes watched me. I knew my brother and ex would always be a big factor for us. I knew I was half relieved and half disappointed when the megaphone broke us apart. I knew his friendship was all I wanted and ever needed. I didn't want anything to ruin that like it had before. But what was he thinking?

"What's wrong with you? Not happy to be back?" I side-eyed Nate, and he pouted. "Not happy to see me?"

I rolled my eyes, and just as my mouth opened to speak, my phone rang. I knew exactly who it was before I even looked. She didn't have a patient bone in her body.

I sighed deeply, catching my brother's attention before it dropped to my phone, then returning his to the road.

He hummed. "I guess that's why you look sour."

I didn't say anything. It wasn't the reason when he asked, but it had definitely turned that way.

"You better answer. It'll only get worse if you don't."

"It already will be," I mumbled.

I hadn't been too quiet with my words though, because he reached over and patted my knee twice, both in support, and encouragement.

I took a deep breath, then answered the call.

"Hey, Mum."

She hummed. "Hello, Dakota." There was a pause before she talked again. "You've been ignoring my texts."

I chewed on the skin around my thumbnail before my brother slapped my hand away, and I glared at him. "Sorry, I didn't mean?—"

"Don't even say you didn't mean to or that you didn't get them. I know full well you got them, and you meant to ignore them. I don't appreciate being ignored, Dakota. I am your mother."

I swallowed down the urge to say Yeah, now you know how I feel.

"I'm sorry," were the words I carefully chose instead. I wasn't brave enough to backchat my mother.

She harrumphed. "Well, now that I've finally got a hold of you, we can organise a time to meet for lunch to discuss your future."

I groan. "Mum?—"

"No. This is what we agreed on. We're doing this now."

I sighed, relenting because it was what we agreed, and it would be less painful to not fight it. "When are you available next?" The sooner the better , I thought, but I knew better than to organise off my schedule. Anything planned would go her way anyway. And, as she reminded me often, her work life was more important than my social one.

"How about two weeks from now? The 7th of December. I have a big case at the moment, but everything should be over by then."

I closed my eyes. Two weeks of waiting. I guessed it would give me enough time to prepare and conjure up some type of plan we would both be satisfied with instead of being forced into following in her footsteps and being a lawyer. Not that it's boring; it just wasn't for me. I would hate every moment of it.

It was also four days before my birthday, but I doubt she would even remember when the day came.

"Sure. That works."

"Good. I'll book a restaurant, and I'll let you know." And then, she hung up. No goodbye. Nothing.

It didn't surprise me, really.

Nate side-eyed me again, watching me as I leaned my head back against the seat.

He knew how it felt. Our mother didn't even send him off when he left for Townsville after he graduated high school. She hardly ever called him, only a few texts a year. She didn't have to worry about him since he was doing something with his life.

But, for me, she was on my back about jobs, degrees, five-year plans, and setting myself up for the future. All it did was make me anxious because I didn't know the answer to any of it.

I just want some peace and a little bit of freedom with no more studying or homework. Like, weren't gap years still a thing?

I felt like I couldn't see past a week in advance. I couldn't picture what I would be doing five years from now. What passions would thrive from me. Where I would be in the world. What my ideal life would look like. And I liked it like that. I liked living in the moment and enjoying what came.

But I had to entertain my mother. I had to keep her pleased because no matter how she treated me, I never wanted her to be disappointed in me. To be the disappointment she wished she never had.

That is the side Nate never saw. The disappointment of our mother when she realised I didn't have a plan. Because even though Nate was pushed into following her and studying law, he seemed to like it. It was easy for him when it came to deciding his future. Law was suggested, and he took it and that was it. It fit him.

But with me, it wasn't that easy. I didn't want to be stuck behind a desk day in and day out, staring at a screen, studying and researching, I had enough of that in high school. I was over it halfway through year eight when high school had barely begun. I can't do that for another four years and then beyond that. That was a terrifying thought for me.

"What if I don't have a passion, Nate? I'm going to die miserable at this point," I finally spoke in the quiet of the ute halfway home.

"You will find it, Dakota. You just have to find middle ground with Mum. Choose something you're both happy with and once you get to Uni, you can explore all you like."

I sighed. He had a good point, but the thought of university freaked me out.

"What if university isn't for me?"

He glanced at me, noting the overwhelmed look on my face, and he smiled sadly. "It's not meant for everyone." He shrugged. "But just don't tell Mum that. She'll freak."

We laughed, but sadly, it was the truth. Mum believed any good job resulted in a good education, which meant getting a tertiary degree right out of high school.

Ten minutes later, Nate pulled the car behind Dad's and I frowned. It confused me because I thought he was busy and that's why Nate had to pick me up.

I saw the smile Nate tried to suppress as I looked over at him, and I narrowed my eyes.

He shrugged. "Don't be so surprised by any of this. You know how Dad is."

But, of course, I was surprised when I opened the door a few minutes later to a banner saying ‘Welcome Home, Dakota' hanging in the hallway leading to the kitchen, and three blue balloons of different shades tied to each side.

My growing smile almost cracked my face when I lugged my suitcase towards the kitchen, seeing Dad bent over the stove and stirring whatever he was cooking. I knew instantly what he had made by the smell wafting through the room.

The noise of my suitcase rolling through the kitchen made him turn around, spoon in hand, dressed in an apron. He smiled, spreading his arms wide, anticipating my hug. I immediately threw my arms around him.

"Welcome home, chook. I've missed you," he mumbled into my hair as he swayed us back and forth.

I chuckled. "It's only been a week."

"Compared to seeing you every day of your entire life, it was way too long." He grinned and pulled back, pointing to the creamy pasta in the pot. "I made your favourite."

Sometimes, he did too much just to see you smile and make you happy. But it made me love him more. He wouldn't be my Dad if he didn't make us celebrate even the smallest of things. Like when I tried out for netball, he celebrated by taking us to dinner and buying a cake even though I didn't make the team. When I did my first presentation and had to speak in front of the class, I had almost backed out and just taken the fail for not doing it, but he had pepped me up and rehearsed with me, and when I finally got through it, he pulled me out of school and took me to Movie World the next day.

All of these things just made me appreciate him more. I threw my arms around him again, squeezing him. "Thank you," I whispered.

He dropped a kiss on my head. "You're welcome, chickadee."

Another pair of arms wrapped around us, and I chuckled.

"I felt left out."

And all felt right in the world at that moment, in my family's embrace.