Chapter 20

20

It was Christmas day, which always seemed to turn out disastrous.

Dad always had a soft, caring heart, which unfortunately caused him to invite Mum to our Christmas dinners.

Mum didn't have any family around here to celebrate with. Her parents – my Gran and Pop – had passed a few years earlier and her uncles and aunts lived in other states, so she resorted to working through the Christmas holidays. Dad didn't like that idea. He thought Christmas was a time to relax and enjoy being in the presence of family. I agreed, to some degree, but my mother didn't have a relaxing bone in her body.

Although their divorce was pretty neutral, they always ended up fighting and Mum storming out of the house.

So Christmas wasn't really a happy time for me.

"Can't we have dinner with just the three of us this year? I mean Mum would prefer to work anyway, why make her feel obliged to join us?" I complained.

Dad narrowed his eyes at me, which looked very unserious. He was wearing an apron that read ‘The man, The myth, The legend', topped with the chef's hat Nate and I had bought him for his Christmas gift. He opted for that apron rather than the retro polka-dotted apron we also got him, although I knew he would put it to good use equally as much as the one he wore.

He continued to mix the mince and spices in a bowl for the rissoles as he spoke to me. "She is your mother, Dakota. Christmas should be spent with family and her family is us. We may not be a complete family anymore, but she still deserves to take some time off and spend it with us."

I sighed as I rested my elbow on the bench in front of me from the bar stool opposite Dad and propped my head up with my hand. "But it never ends well, and you know it. Remember how our dinner ended? She'll no doubt take this opportunity to attack me for it."

He sighed and stopped kneading the rissole mix before going over to the sink and washing his hands. "I talked to her about that and she agreed to keep the peace this year. No putting pressure on you or Nate about your degrees or careers. We just have a nice, quiet dinner and catch up."

I grumbled. "Hopefully, she keeps her end of the deal."

"She will. I told her she wasn't welcome if she didn't. Now, will you help me with the pasta salad or are you going to sit there being no help and grumbling the whole day?"

He lifted an eyebrow as he sprinkled flour over the bench.

One side of my lip lifted as I watched him. "I don't know, watching you in your whole get-up is quite amusing."

He grinned back as he stepped away from the bench and wiped his hands on the apron causing flour handprints to dust over it. "What? You don't think I look pretty?"

I laughed and so did Nate as he walked in right at that time. "So pretty, Dad. Though I think the other one would suit you better."

Dad chuckled. "You think?" He hummed, going back to rolling the rissoles in perfect balls and pressing them flat on a tray. "Maybe next time I'll have to wear it."

"Yeah? That'll be New Year's, remember?" Nate reminded him with a grin.

Dad had organised a New Year's party and invited his work friends, bar friends, and even some of our neighbours. He allowed both Nate and I to invite our friends as well.

Dad swore under his breath, making Nate and I chuckle. "Nevermind. I'm not going to be seen by the public in that."

"Oh, no," I said, my eyes widened as I shook my head. "Now you have to wear it. You've put the words out in the universe so you can't back out. It's the rules. You can't wear the same apron all the time, anyway."

Nate nodded with me. "It's true. Can't mess with the universe."

Dad pressed a hand to Nate's head and pushed it away playfully. "Get out of here with that and stop encouraging each other. It's not going to work."

It was totally working.

"You know how many people would love seeing you in that apron? You would be the life of the party."

He pointed to me, trying to appear stern but I could see him fighting the rise in his lips. "You, get to work. I can't do all this myself."

I saluted him which made him roll his eyes.

I hoped that energy would continue into the night. That we could laugh and joke and actually have a good Christmas together for a change.

I giggled and danced around the kitchen like I was a little girl again, helping Dad prep and cook dinner while his 80s music favourites played in the background. Nate poked his head in a few times right as we began the desserts, trying to steal little tastes of the custard and chocolate but Dad and I always beat him to it with a slap on the hand before shooing him out of the kitchen. It was unfair, I had to admit because Dad and I had been sneaking little tastes as well when we thought the other wasn't looking, but it was fun nonetheless.

Dad was cooking the rissoles while we had just put the mini chocolate lava cakes in the oven and Nate strolled into the kitchen once again, but this time he walked straight to the portable speaker and turned the volume to its maximum just as the first guitar notes of The Clash's Should I Stay or Should I Go started to play. He started playing the air guitar in time with the strings and pointed to Dad before he shouted over the music, "Come on, Dad, I know you want to." And then he was back plucking the air like he knew what he was doing, even though he didn't have a single musical bone in his body.

Dad shook his head at him and I didn't think he was going to join him but then he tilted his head back and shouted the first ‘woo' of the song, making me jump and throw my head back in laughter.

He grew up with a family big on music and he once told me he went to his first concert at the age of two. He was definitely a big rock ‘n' roll head.

He started to bop his head in time with the music as he sang the words while flipping the rissoles. It was only a matter of time before he turned to me, grabbed my hand, and started to spin me around like we were in a spin class. In the blur, I saw Nate dancing next to us and I was in a fit of laughter, almost doubling over with tears in my eyes. It was when the music cut off, followed by the clearing of someone's throat that I knew the fun had ended and every muscle in my body tensed.

Dad cleared his throat. "Laura, I didn't know you were here yet."

"Clearly, Tim. I was out there knocking for quite a while, but it's obvious no one heard. Don't you think you should be able to hear if they're knocking? The noise from here could be heard from down the street. I wouldn't be surprised by a noise complaint arriving in your mail." She rolled her eyes.

Dad released a slow breath. "It's good to see you, too."

She waved him off. "Yeah, you too." Then, she looked at Nate and surprise flickered in her eyes. "I didn't know you were still here, Nathan."

Nate cringed at the use of his full name. "Of course I would be, Mum. It's Christmas."

Mum made a non-committal noise. "I thought you would have been getting started on your studies for the next semester."

"Laura," Dad warned.

Her eyes flicked to his for a moment and I swore I saw a moment of softness enter her eyes, but it was gone too quickly for me to be sure.

"Right," she corrected, smiling tightly at my brother. "It's good to see you again, Nathan." Nate looked surprised when he glanced at me but then Mum turned her attention to me all too quickly. "You too, Dakota. Merry Christmas to you all."

It was silent between us for a moment before Dad clapped his hands together.

"Well," he started. "Everyone, go sit at the table and I'll bring the food over."

We did, with Nate beside me and Mum deciding to sit right in front of me. I saw Nate glance at me from the corner of my eye and plucked an eyebrow up. I could read his glance immediately with just a short look. It read Good luck, soldier . Because, by the seating arrangements, it was right within the firing range of my mother. Whoever was in front of her was the first to be dealt her blows.

Dad started piling the food on the table. The rissoles, sausages, buttered buns, pasta salad, potato bake, cream broccoli, corn on the cob, honey carrots, and, of course, in the centre of the table, a leg of ham that dad had already shaved bits from.

As soon as he sat down, we immediately started piling food on our plates. We had already had our fair share of prawns before Mum arrived since she didn't like seafood, but that didn't stop Dad and Nate from filling their plates with way too much food , more than I could ever handle.

It was quiet for a while, the only noise coming from the scraping of forks against plates and my brother's noisy munching which I glared at him for. He just grinned and to annoy me even further, he chewed louder before Dad reprimanded him.

Mum cleared her throat for the third time tonight and I grasped my knife and fork a little harder. Here we go.

"So, Dakota, how was your little week away after you graduated? Where was it again?"

I relaxed a little with her question. It was a simple question without any bite.

"Airlie Beach. And it was good. Really fun. I got a nice sun tan there and took a lot of photos on the digital camera Nate gave me. But now he got me a bigger one, like a real professional one, so I'm excited to take it for a test run."

"More like sunburn," Nate muttered under his breath and I kicked him under the table. He kicked me back and I threw him a glare.

"You two," Dad interrupted our fight, a smile fighting against his frown.

Mum smiled, but it always seemed off when she did. Like she wasn't used to smiling. "He got you a camera?"

"Yeah. I mentioned a few times that I loved taking photos but was sick of filling up my phone then having to delete them because I was running out of storage. Who knows, something could come out of photography for me," I joked, throwing around the idea since Reece had planted it in my head.

I wanted to keep the memories I captured, to store them in film reels, albums, or photo frames. It felt freeing.

And most of all it made me smile.

Dad started to smile. "That's amazing, chook. And if photography makes you happy, you should go for it."

My lips rose at his words of encouragement but a scoff came from in front of me, dimming the light that started to spark.

"Photography is not a stable career. Be smart, Dakota. You cannot survive in this world living a dream." Mum cut my spirits like a knife to the heart.

"Laura, don't," Dad warned.

"No, Tim. I cannot sit here and support my daughter living a fairytale. She needs to know the only way she's going to be able to live is a stable, sturdy career like law, or psychology, or hell even nursing is stable these days."

I knew Mum wouldn't be able to stay civil. She could never let anything go without her almighty input.

Dad started to open his mouth to argue back, but I interrupted. As I stood, my chair screeched against the floorboards.

"You know what, Mum? I am so sick of you thinking you know what's best for me when you don't even know me. You don't know what makes me happy. You don't even know half of what I've done throughout high school, only my grades. That's all you cared about. Actually no, you just never cared at all. All you cared about was your little corporate world and how perfect you looked to complete strangers. So stop acting like you do care. You know what, maybe just pretend I don't exist because god knows I do with you. My life would be so much better if you weren't my mother."

After my outburst, silence fell over my family. I don't know when I started to cry, but I was just so frustrated and fed up. I angrily wiped them away as I stepped away from the table.

I laughed bitterly. "Just a usual Christmas day for us, huh?"

I stormed my way upstairs to my room with the echoes of my Dad and Nate calling for me.

I let the tears fall with the click of my door shutting. I wanted to scream in frustration. To throw something at the wall.

I was so tired of my Mum telling me how I should be and what I should be doing. How I needed stability and that there was no time for dreams. I was so sick of being treated like I needed to grow up faster than I needed to. It wasn't fair.

I sat on my bed and soon the muffled yelling started downstairs and I wished it didn't have to be like this. That what Dad promised had come true and we were able to have a nice and normal dinner for once.

My phone vibrated from its place on my nightstand.

Dad had us put away our phones for the evening so we were present and didn't have any distractions. My phone had been sitting there for almost three hours untouched and to be honest, it was oddly peaceful. Until obviously, the dinner.

When I picked up my phone, I saw Reece's recent text and my heart almost slipped over itself.

I hadn't heard from Reece all week. I texted him a few times to see if he was okay but there was no response. Even Nate said he hadn't been online to play video games that week when I asked before receiving a very odd look from him.

I was worried about him. Especially with how I had last seen him being yelled at by his Dad.

Merry Christmas, Kody. Hope all your wishes come true.

I didn't give it a second thought. I pressed the call button and nervously fiddled with the button of my blouse as I listened to the phone ring. It rang three times before he picked up.

"Hello?" His graveled voice dragged through the receiver.

"Hey, Reece."

There was shuffling before he spoke again. "Hey, Kody. What's up?"

And suddenly I wasn't sure why I even called. I didn't have a reason. I just wanted to hear his voice. The realisation punched me in the gut and I wanted to hang up just as quickly as I had rung.

I swallowed down the rock in my throat to answer. "Nothing, I, uh," I paused. "Merry Christmas."

He chuckled. "Merry Christmas, Kody."

I smiled and grabbed my pillow to sit on my lap, needing something to do with my hands. "Are you doing okay? I mean, like, after what happened last Sunday."

He was quiet for a while and I thought he had hung up, but then I heard his deep inhale followed by an empty chuckle. "I'm fine. Just the usual, you know."

"I'm sorry."

He sighed. "Please don't be sorry. You've got nothing to apologise for."

"I know, but I'm still sorry you have to deal with that."

"Yeah, well—" A loud slam of our front door interrupted him before I heard Mum's car start. "What was that?" Reece inquired.

I sighed. "My mum. She came over for Christmas, and well, as usual, it didn't turn out quite well."

"Are you okay?" Reece asked, and I melted in the genuine concern I heard in his voice.

"I'll be okay. I'm just glad it's over now."

I laid down in bed and we both stayed on the phone for what felt like mere seconds but was probably hours as we made small talk but mostly just sat in silence, soaking in each other's presence over the phone.

It wasn't until I started yawning that Reece chuckled and his voice was a soft whispered rumble. "Maybe you should go to sleep."

I hummed, glancing at the digital clock on my bedside table that read it was just past midnight. "Maybe I will."

"Okay. Good night, Kody."

"Good night, Reece."

I don't think he hung up after that like I expected. I drifted off to sleep with the sound of his breathing in my ear as he stayed on the phone.

And when I woke up, well, my phone was drained of life.