Chapter 15

15

"You're hiding from me."

It wasn't a question.

The game of cat-and-mouse I was playing wasn't as subtle as I was going for, but I wasn't prepared to hash this whole thing out while alcohol thrummed in my veins and influenced my decision-making.

I just knew what he was going to say when he mentioned that moment at the river, and panic rose, so I shut it down.

It was a mistake, I knew it was. Just caught up in the moment. But I didn't want to hear that from him. I couldn't hear it from him. It would be the rejection I didn't need.

"I wasn't. I just need some air," I lied.

"You've been in here for like fifteen minutes. I've been waiting for you. Counted too," he emphasised as he glanced down at his watch.

I hadn't realised it had been that long. Even with the booming of music and noise behind the closed door, I had retreated too far inside my head where my fears haunted me to notice.

I sighed. "Look Reece, I already know what you're going to say. That it was a mistake and it could never happen between us. We're friends. Done. Nothing else needs to be discussed. I don't need you to repeat the words I already know."

I watched him frown as he took in my words, eyes flickering over my face. I braced myself for the agreement, to finally put this push and pull that seemed to be happening between us to rest.

I never expected his next words.

"You expected me to agree it was a mistake?"

It was my turn to frown. I had built this idea that he would just agree and that would be the end of it, but his question surprised me.

"I mean, yeah?" Was all I could come up with.

His frown melted, and he chewed his lip, running a hand through his hair. "You know, for the past few days, I haven't been able to go a moment without thinking about it. I haven't been able to close my eyes without seeing the way your eyes fluttered when my lips grazed yours. I haven't gone a moment without feeling the ghost of your fingers fisting my shirt like you wanted to pull me closer." He stepped closer as I released a shaky breath at his confession.

"You know, any room that I walk in, I always find myself searching for you, and tonight wasn't any different. But you just slipped away any time I had a chance to talk to you. It was frustrating as hell. But I knew why. I understood why. And maybe I should have left you alone."

Another step closer. "But, I couldn't help but want to run after you and pull you in. I tried to tell myself that nothing ever happened between us because of everything fighting against us. Our friendship. Nate and Liam. But if lying to myself, and you, has you running away from me, then I don't want that. I can't do that."

He shook his head with one final step until he was inches in front of me, toes touching, chests brushing with every inhale, and his intoxicating cologne invading all my senses, taking control of my mind.

It was hard to find oxygen when he pulled it straight out of my lungs and out of reach with every word he spun. He knew how to reel me in, to sing me the sweetest songs. I was a sucker for his words.

"This could ruin our friendship, though. That isn't something I've ever wanted to do. I almost lost you once before, Reece."

His hand curled around the nape of my neck, and lightning zapped under my skin at his touch, coiling its way around my heart like it had its own direct line of electrical current that could trigger my heart to pump.

"I don't think I could ever live a life without you in it. I want you in any way, I can have you. So this. This will not ruin anything. Because I will not let it. Trust me on that."

"And baseball? You've always said you can't afford distractions during the season."

I may have enquired on one of our many nights spent by the river about his dating life.

After much teasing about it being my subtle way of asking if he was seeing someone, he stated that he didn't have time to date and couldn't afford distractions from his dream in baseball.

Why I didn't connect him and Liam then when he mentioned baseball, I wasn't quite sure. But that was the only night he mentioned baseball.

He shook his head, his frown slotting back into place. "Don't put words in my mouth. Yeah, I've said I don't like distractions during the season, but that never applied to you. You are not a distraction. Every time I'm around you, I feel like myself. I can be myself. I feel like I can breathe easier when I'm with you."

I watched as his throat bobbed, and he took a step closer to me, my back hitting the basin. "In that moment at the river, I did not think about them or baseball or anything on the outside. All I thought about was you. All I saw was you. Exactly what I see in this moment. With this need to kiss you. Because it's all I've ever felt when I'm around you since the first moment I met you."

I couldn't breathe. Once again, he stole all the oxygen out of the room. I felt warmth rush to my cheeks and my head felt fuzzy. I would have palmed it off as just the alcohol running through my veins, but looking into the darkening green of his eyes, I couldn't deny the fact that word by word he was the one seeping through my veins, drawing me in as he leaned closer.

"Now, I should ask you," he started, leaning over me with his hands resting on the basin on either side of my hips. His lips brushed my ear and my eyes fluttered closed. "Do you really think it was a mistake?"

I sucked my bottom lip into my mouth, opening my eyes and watching as he pulled away just a fraction. His eyes tracked the movement of my lips before he lifted his gaze back to mine.

Waiting for my answer. Pleading for it to be the same as his.

There wasn't a universe out there, I believed, where I denied this feeling.

I breathed my answer. "No."

He was so close that I could see the spark in his eyes when he registered what I said. It was like all the barriers between us crumbled to dust in that moment and we threw all consequences to the wind.

It started off slow. The rough callouses of his hands brushed against my cheek, framing my face before he tucked my hair behind my ears. His eyes danced over my face like he was trying to imprint this moment, and the way I looked, into his brain. I knew because I was doing the same thing. It felt like a fever dream. The whole build-up. The anticipation of something I thought had been out of reach, now only a hair's breadth away.

Every sound and thought blurred around us. All I saw was him, and my heart felt like it might have leaped out of my chest.

He tilted my chin up with the press of his thumbs underneath before he trailed one hand behind my neck.

He paused just above my lips, enough to whisper, "I didn't lie when I said I've wanted this for a long time. But if you tell me to stop, I will."

I didn't answer him. I couldn't handle the anticipation anymore. My hand roped around his neck, and I pulled his lips the rest of the way down. The feeling exploded all the way through my body, right down to my toes. The feeling of his lips pressed to mine and the tightening of his hand around the back of my neck. It was all-consuming as his breath came out in one long sigh like his body had expelled all the stress out of his body with a single touch of our lips, and he leaned further into me.

My hands found purchase on either side of his hips, fisting his shirt between my fingers and pulling him closer. I needed to be closer to him, to feel him everywhere. I think he felt the same because the next thing I knew, his hands had travelled down my body to wrap around the backs of my thighs, and then he lifted me onto the basin. He pushed his body between them, and I sighed at how well we fit together. His caresses burned their way through my clothes to my skin, making me yearn for more.

Once our lips touched, we didn't want to come up for air. Lust clouded the room and consumed us. It became us. It was a mess of clumsy hands, bruising kisses, clothes on the floor, and exploring eyes. He peeled every piece of clothing off me, leaving me in my bra and underwear. His hand trailed from my neck, down my collarbone, before making its torturous path between my breast and over my stomach until it skimmed the top of my underwear, lighting my skin on fire in its wake. I nodded my head as his eyes flicked between mine, giving him permission to touch me where I so desperately wanted him.

My underwear was bunched to the side as he slid a finger down the centre of me, drawing a whine from my lips that he captured with his mouth. I trailed my hand down the ridges and curves of his body, feeling the warmth he radiated, the steady beat of his heart, and the way his abdomen flexed when my fingers skimmed over them, reacting to the touch. When my eyes bounced back to his, they were ablaze with lust and urgency. With desire and appreciation.

I had never felt more wanted in my life.

He cupped my jaw and pulled me to him for a desperate kiss before he started to trail his lips down my body. His hands trailed down with them, sliding down the sides of my body to my thighs and squeezing them.

He knelt down, looking up at me with a mischievous grin, before he grabbed my hips and pulled me further forward on the basin. I gasped at the sudden movement but clamped my bottom lip between my teeth to stop the moan from passing my mouth when his lips dragged up my inner thigh, kissing the spot right at the crease. He repeated the other side, and I couldn't help the small whimper that came out with it. He chuckled at that.

"I need you to try and be quiet. Can't have the whole party listening to those pretty little moans meant just for me. Especially with your brother in the other room."

My eyes snapped wide open to meet his, catching the smirk he gave me before he finally flattened his tongue against me. My skin felt alight with his words and tongue as I bit my lip to hold the moan trying to escape. My head hit the mirror behind me, back arching, eyes nearly rolled back with every swirl and flick of his tongue.

It was probably a bad time to think about it, but Liam had been the only other person to go down on me and to be honest, I don't think he knew what he was doing, and I needed it over before he even started. But with Reece, it was like he knew exactly where to roll his tongue, where to kiss, and where to touch to ignite a fire in me and have every nerve in my body strung tight. He knew exactly what triggered me and had me melting right into his touch, begging for more.

His fingers dug into the skin of my thighs as he held them still over his shoulders. I squirmed under his touch, every nerve lighting up in my body as his tongue picked up speed. I looked down at the same time his eyes fluttered open to peer up at me, the green of them molten, making my heart beat faster. My hand flew to the back of his head, threading through his hair. I closed my eyes, tilting my head back again as the thread tethering my nerves together finally snapped. Lightening zipped through my entire body as my legs shook around his head. I couldn't help the low moan that escaped my lips that time, but Reece smothered it by reaching up and closing a hand over my mouth.

My whole body was like jelly, slumped against the mirror behind me. My heart rate was beating out of control, and it didn't help when I felt Reece's hands slightly massage my thighs as I tried to control my breathing.

I had never felt anything like that. A buzz that consumed my whole body. A high that scattered my brain.

It wasn't until I faintly heard my name being called, that the fog from the daze I was in lifted. I looked down at Reece whose eyes were still ablaze with lust and something more. His eyes devoured me and it seemed he hadn't heard what had pulled me from our bubble. I almost let myself be pulled back in by the way he looked at me, but my name sounded again, and he frowned as his hands slid up my thighs.

"Dakota, wherever you're hiding, you better get out here now. It's time for cake."

I rolled my eyes, and Reece chuckled as he kissed my knee and stood from his crouched position. I ran my fingers through my hair and rearranged myself while he did the same. I still felt the heat in my cheeks, and when I looked in the mirror, I saw that the flush had taken over my chest as well. My lips were swollen, lipstick smeared, my eyes glowed, and everything screamed suspicious. I swore under my breath, my eyes flicking to Reece's in the mirror as he came to stand behind me. A small satisfied smile played on his lips when he noticed my smudged lipstick and dishevelled appearance. I took note of the leftover lipstick stains on his lips and how his hair stuck up in every which way, making the blush rise to my cheeks.

He bent his head to kiss the crook of my neck, sending a skitter of goosebumps along my skin, and when he looked up through his lashes, meeting my gaze in the mirror again, my heart pounded.

I carefully wiped the lipstick away as best I could with a cotton tip without ruining the rest of my makeup before turning to Reece and taking a washcloth to wipe around his face, making him grin down at me. He leaned his forehead against mine after I finished.

"You go first," he whispered against my heated skin, his eyes the colour of the deepest forest, molten and burning. "I'll come out a little while after."

I frowned a little, his words clearing the rest of the fog away as I leaned back from him.

"You want to keep this a secret?" I whispered back, a tinge of hurt leaking through my words, no matter how hard I tried to mask it. Of course, he did. I mean, I did, too, if I was thinking logically. My brother was in the other room. But I hadn't thought logically the whole night, especially when I let Reece shut the door behind us. I was in a post-orgasmic bliss I didn't want to end, but the timer was ticking down to the seconds before I rejoined reality.

A crease formed between his brows as he watched me. "Well, yeah," he mumbled as he stood to his full height. "You're brother is right outside. He would kick my ass if he found out what I just did to his little sister. And if I'm being real, I'm betraying one of my longest friendships. Someone I consider like my brother," he paused, my heart breaking a little as he did. "Don't get me wrong, having my hands on you, my tongue, I don't think I could get enough. If I could, I would come back for more and more." His lips twitched at that, sending butterflies roaring through my stomach before his smile dropped along with those butterflies. "But it's a luxury I can only afford once. Especially given our circumstances."

I could not believe it.

"So, what? This was just a one-time, get it out of your systems, type of thing?"

"No! That's not what I meant-" he tried to backtrack but was interrupted by another loud shout from the hallway.

"Dakota! I swear to god, if you've ditched your own party, I will never forgive you," Alex's voice reverberated through the door.

My eyes flicked back to Reece's as I turned to face him, flashing a tight smile.

"Well, it was nice while it lasted, Reece."

I knocked into his shoulder as I passed. When I opened the door, he muttered something in the most desperate tone that I'd heard from him.

"What do you mean?" Was the question, as if I was the one putting the distance between us.

I didn't pay it any mind as I closed the door behind me and joined the party again.

I found Avery in the kitchen as she stood in front of the white box she had been hiding from me all day with everyone gathered around.

"Ah, there you are. I've been calling for you for five minutes. Where were you?" She wrapped her arm around my waist and squeezed me close.

I cleared my throat. "Just went to the balcony upstairs. Needed some air."

She frowned, narrowing her eyes as she assessed me, and I knew she could immediately tell. Especially with the patchy job I tried to do with my lipstick. She met my eyes and softened. "You okay?"

I smiled, but I could tell she didn't believe it. I couldn't find it in me to make it more believable. Even though I knew and agreed to keep quiet, it didn't mean I had to pretend I was okay, either.

It sucked because he was right. We were complicated and really, I didn't want to hurt Liam more than I already had.

God, I had made a mess of things, and now, I had made it even more so. I wished I could have gone back in time and changed it all, but I knew I couldn't. I would have done a lot of things differently if I could.

"Yeah. I will be," I said, then eyed the box on the counter. "Let's have some cake."

Avery's eyes brightened as she smiled widely before flipping the lid open. It was two-tiered with a pink watercolour design and ‘Happy Birthday Dakota' scrawled on top.

Alex appeared through the crowd with candles shaped like the number one and eight, sticking them in the cake and lighting them.

My eyes flicked back to Avery, and I wrapped my arms around her. "It's perfect. Absolutely beautiful."

"I'm glad you like it. Now shut up and let us sing you happy birthday."

I laughed as Alex started singing and got everyone to join. I looked at all the friends who gathered, listening as they wished me a happy birthday. My eyes landed on my brother briefly as he leaned against the wall. He smiled as he sang, and then tapped his chest above his heart, our nonverbal sign for love. I reciprocated, tapping my chest above my heart and smiling.

Then my eyes shifted behind him, to Reece joining in the celebrations. His eyes found mine, and my lips faltered a little, but I kept it in place as best as I could with everyone staring at me. I don't think anyone noticed, but I knew Reece did. His brows furrowed and his eyes filled with guilt and regret. It was easy to spot, seeing as I'd seen it in his eyes before, directed to me for a different reason. I wondered if it would be a recurring thing with him.

I didn't want to think about it but it stuck to the back of my mind. And I hoped the beginning whispers from that far away voice in my mind, begging me to steer clear, was wrong.

That he wasn't a bad decision, heading straight towards a collision course of the most destructive heartbreaks.