4. Caleb

Chapter 4

I couldn't stop thinking about Mack Porter. I hated that he was so self-conscious about his milk that he was willing to take the drastic measures to have it surgically stopped. Although it was a surgery that was not uncommon or particularly risky for most patients, it was still extreme for someone who hadn't fully accepted or attempted to live with his condition.

Not that I expected every man to be comfortable with lactation.

Obviously, it was a lifestyle choice that not everyone could wrap their head around. For so many, it truly was a gift in a multitude of ways, and I really hoped he was open to exploring some of them before making a decision.

But if, after due diligence, he still wanted me to perform surgery, I would be happy to do it. Not happy, but I'd prefer to be the one to do it than send him to someone less experienced who would go after him with a scalpel. I was one of the best in the country and probably had the most experience in this procedure. Whether I thought it was his best move, I'd do whatever he chose.

I was ashamed to admit that he had been on my mind a lot. Not just because of his condition but because he was hot as fuck. I saw a lot of attractive men every day, but very few stayed with me the way Mack did. The fact that he was single, and possibly gay, just checked off even more boxes for me. I dropped my little hint, hoping he would pick it up and maybe even give me a morsel of encouragement, but he didn't.

The poor guy was in shock, and it was completely inappropriate for me to even suggest something so out of line.

Which was why I was looking forward to a playdate with one of my Little friends, Andy.

Andy and I met at a fetish club several years back and tried to get together at least once or twice a month. Our schedules didn't always allow for more than that, but our mental health required it.

I was already in a onesie when Andy arrived. When I cracked the door and let him come inside, I could tell he was also dressed to play underneath the oversized hoodie and sweatpants he wore.

"Caleb." He threw his arms around me and gave me a tight hug. "I'm so glad you called. I need this. A lot."

"Me too, Andy. Thanks for coming on short notice. I've got the living room all set up for us."

He shed his sweat clothes by the front door and stood beside me in a black bodysuit with a tail hanging from the back and a hood that had floppy ears built into it.

Andy was into puppy play, and although he didn't fully go nonverbal when he was with me, after we had some snacks and our milk, which he would drink from a special bowl I kept for him, we would curl up on the couch and watch movies till we fell asleep in a mess of stuffed animals and cozy blankets.

Andy and I were both submissive and had a purely platonic relationship, still looking for Daddies who would appreciate all facets of our individuality. For me, that meant sometimes being in the headspace of a young child, while for Andy, it meant pretending to be a playful puppy sometimes.

I couldn't explain why I needed to regress now and then, but my therapist helped me come to terms with the fact that with such a high-pressure job and so many people depending on me for their health and wellness, sometimes I had to shed all my responsibilities and just let go of my grown-up thoughts. Which worked well when there was an actual grown-up around to supervise.

But Andy and I only had each other most of the time, so we kept things playful without getting too lost in our heads to potentially not be safe.

"Okay, Puppy Andy. I have nuggets, french fries, and pudding pie for dessert." I held up the insulated bag my milk delivery came in and grinned. "And fresh milk. Are you ready to eat now or in a little while?"

"Now." He rubbed his tummy dramatically. "I'm so starving."

"Me too." I quickly plated our food in Bluey divided plates because that was Andy's favorite cartoon and carried them to the trays I set up in the living room. With one plate on each tray, I went back to the kitchen to get our milk. Mine was in a sippy cup, and Andy's in a bowl. The first time I first saw him licking milk from the bowl, I thought it was silly. But as I spent more time with him, I came to understand that the puppy was just his own way of shutting down Big thoughts and responsibilities and slipping into a headspace that was just fun and no pressure.

As we ate, we talked about some of our other friends and the beach day we'd been planning forever but still hadn't made happen. When we were done eating, we moved the trays out of the way and built our nest of blankets and cushions from the couch and cuddled up to watch our shows.

Andy had already watched every episode of Bluey, but some of them were new for me, so he got to tell me what was gonna happen just before it did. As Big Caleb, that would have probably been annoying, but when I was Little Caleb, I loved that he knew everything and I didn't have to pay hard attention.

I was just starting to doze off when my phone buzzed with a text. I usually ignored silly things like my phone and computer when I was playing with Andy, especially on a Friday evening, but then I started to worry that maybe a patient was having an emergency. And I had to check. Which really sucked because I didn't want to ruin my fun night by becoming a doctor again.

Andy wasn't happy about it either. "Make it stop, Caleb. I sleepy."

"Sorry, Andy. But I have to check. Could be an emergency."

He curled into a tighter ball and pulled the blanket over his head while I crawled over to the side table where my phone was plugged in.

It was an unknown number, and I almost dropped it back on the table when I saw the preview. This is Mack Porter.

That was enough to snap me out of my hazy head and refocus. "Oh my god, Andy. It's a patient. A guy. Like…a hot guy."

Andy pulled back the blanket just enough for one eyeball to peek out. "How hot?"

"Really hot." I looked up at him and bit my lower lip. "And he makes milk."

Andy and I always teased each other about how I needed to seduce one of my lactating patients. It was a joke and definitely not something I would've ever considered, but… my comment to Mack during his exam made me realize that maybe my ethics were shifting.

"Well, what did he say?" Andy was up on all fours, wiggling his butt so his tail swooshed from side to side. He had his hoodie on and his ears were also flapping in opposite directions with his tail. He was so cute.

"Hold on, pup. I'll check."

This is Mack Porter. I'm sorry to text you outside of business hours, but I just had an appointment with The Lactin Brotherhood, and Steve Walters mentioned that he knows you and you might not mind if I reached out.

Steve knew me alright. I'd had several suckle sessions with him over the years, and he supplied my milk most of the time.

I turned back to Andy, both nervous and excited. "He said he met with Steve at TLB, and Steve told him to call me."

"And?"

"And that's it."

Andy went up on his knees as if standing on them. "Well, what did you say back?"

"I haven't said anything yet." Oops. I hadn't responded yet. "What should I say?"

"Ask him what he wants. Maybe he wants you."

Andy thought that was funny, but that just made my tummy clench up with nerves. I tapped my thumb on the side of my phone for a full minute before hitting any letter keys. "I don't mind at all. What can I do for you?" I looked up at Andy and read my response.

He barked and then chuckled. "What can you do for him? You're not selling him shoes. Ask him out on a date."

Now I was the one to laugh. But he was right, so I deleted the second half of my previous response and went with an old standby. What's up?

Mack responded instantly, and I almost wet my pants when I read it. I've been thinking about what you said. Everything you said. And I'm wondering if you'd like to have dinner with me tomorrow night?

I read it out loud for Andy.

He rolled over on his back and flailed his arms and legs in the air as he squealed. "Yay, you have a milk Daddy. You have to go. Go, go, go." He rolled back onto his hands and knees and looked at me. "You're gonna go, right?"

"I shouldn't. I mean, obviously I am, but I really shouldn't."

"Of course you should. He reached out to you because you have a mutual friend. This isn't a doctor/patient thing. You have to go."

I wasn't sure what the board would think of that, but I went with it. "Yeah, I guess so." I quickly wrote back to Mack. I'd like that. Tell me where to meet you.

Can I pick you up? I mean, if you're comfortable with that.

If Steve gave him my personal phone number, he must have passed at least The Lactin Brotherhood's initial screening protocol, and Steve's own personal Daddy-screening. Sure. How about six tomorrow?

Perfect. Just send your address and I'll be there.

I instinctively reacted to his text with a heart instead of the thumbs up, so I quickly changed it to the thumbs up, hoping he didn't notice.

But then I felt bad that maybe he would think I didn't love the idea, so I changed it back to a heart.

I looked up as the panic started to set in. "Oh my god, Andy. I have a date with a patient, and I have no idea what to wear."