3. Mack

Chapter 3

I spent the whole weekend giving real and honest consideration to everything Dr. Billings said to me. I read through all the brochures and tried to be as objective as possible. But it was hard to concentrate on the medical side when all I really wanted to focus on was the personal side.

The very personal side when he'd leaned close and practically whispered in my ear that he thought my milk was sexy.

At first, I wasn't sure I'd heard him right. But there was no denying the heat in his voice and his gentle touch. It was like he was caressing me, begging me to respond to him.

In the moment, I didn't want to embarrass him or myself by outwardly reacting, but I was glad the nurse didn't make me undress from the waist down or he would've seen just how affected I actually was.

And then I did the thing I had basically promised myself I would never do.

I went home and pulled up some lactation porn.

Whenever I came across it in the past, I was too focused on the man who was lactating to think of anything other than how embarrassing the whole thing was. But now I had a new perspective. I looked at the other man with a whole new interest. The person receiving the milk in every video definitely seemed to be happy and deeply aroused by the process of suckling.

When I came across an adult milk bank that offered in-person sessions sold in fifteen-minute increments, I did a quick search to see if there were any in the local area.

It wasn't super local—about forty minutes out of town—but that seemed better than being nearby. The farther out I went, the lower the chance that I'd run into anybody I knew. Then again, if I ran into a familiar face, they'd obviously be there for the same reason I was.

I jotted down the number and then found one last link in my search results that I owed it to myself to pursue. The Lactin Brotherhood sponsored the milk bank and many of the other resources I found, including all the brochures provided by Dr. Billings.

If I was really going to do my due diligence before taking such a drastic measure as surgery, I needed to get all the information, and The Lactin Brotherhood was where I could get it.

Before putting away my computer, I also did some research on Dr. Caleb Billings. I'd looked him up prior to making the appointment with him, but that was purely from a medical standpoint. Checking to make sure there weren't any lawsuits or malpractice claims against him.

This time, I was stalking his social media to see if I could find him.

He had all the standard accounts, but they were set to private, so unless I wanted to request a connection, I was out of luck for any real information. Which meant I had to wait until my next appointment with the cute doctor to find out if he was just messing with me or if he was truly interested in guys like me.

The office looked like any ordinary office I'd been in, with a simple waiting room up front and an older woman at the front desk flashing a big smile as soon as I walked in the door.

"Hello and welcome." She clapped her hands together as if I were her favorite person in the world. "I'm so glad you came to visit us today. I'm Sharon Jones, and I just love meeting new people."

I looked around, not sure if I was in the right spot. Or maybe she thought I was someone else. "Um, hi. I'm Mack Porter. I have a meeting with Steve Walters."

"Yes, we've been expecting you. He'll be out in just a few minutes." She handed me a clipboard with a blank sheet of paper and a pen attached to it. "I have your online intake form ready for him, but if there's any other information you'd like to share, feel free to write it down or you can just tell him when you meet with him."

I cocked my head, not sure I understood what she was asking. "Yeah, I can just tell him, if that's okay."

"Yes, of course it is. Forgive me, I was under the impression you were a bit shy and might prefer to write out your questions, but I'm happy to hear that you're comfortable talking frankly with Steve. He's one of our most trusted board members and has been around since this chapter opened."

"Oh, right. Honestly, I am pretty uncomfortable with the whole topic. But before I make any drastic and permanent decisions, I want to get as much information as possible. So, I'm just gonna lay it all out there."

She nodded and gave me a smile that was warmer than anything I'd ever seen from my own mother. "I understand, dear. When my sons first came into their milk, it was quite a shock for all of us. First the twins and then my younger one." She shrugged her shoulders and sighed. "Genetics and GMOs. But they've all built very successful lives and careers around the industry, which is why I'm so dedicated to helping young men like yourself."

Now it was my turn to chuckle. "Well, I'm not that young. I think that's why I've struggled with the sudden changes. I don't know if it would've been easier if I had to deal with this when I was a kid or not, but it's definitely not ideal in my forties."

"I know, dear. Change is always difficult, but I can promise that if you embrace your gift for what it is, you can bring so much relief and happiness to so many others."

"Relief?" That was an unexpected word choice from a motherly type.

She held her hands over her heart and smiled sadly. "I struggled with milk production, especially with the twins, and if I would have had a service to help me feed them in a nutritious and safe way, I would have felt so much relief as a new mom. The people you can help are often in a desperate situation and at the end of options. You really can make a big difference for a lot of people. Thousands, if you're interested in pursuing it."

"Thousands?" I blew out a low whistle and shook my head. "I'm not even sure I can handle this at all, much less with other people relying on me for nourishment or anything else. But I appreciate what you're saying. And hearing that there's such a significant upside to my condition does make me feel a little better about it."

"I'm glad."

Just then, a man around my age came out to greet me. He was good-looking if slightly short and stocky. It was clear he spent a lot of time in the gym, with muscles bulging from every direction. "Mr. Porter." He held out his hand to shake mine.

"Yes. Hi."

"I'm Steve Walters, one of the founders of this chapter. I understand you have questions about what we do here and how we can help you."

"Yeah, I guess so." I slipped my hands in my pockets, not sure what else to do with them. "I'm not really sure what I want to know but… I have some big decisions to make."

"Well, I'm glad you came." He held out his arm and motioned toward the hallway he'd just come from. "Let's go into my office. and we'll get you all squared away."