2. Caleb

Chapter 2

After two back-to-back surgeries, the last thing I wanted to do was take a new patient consult, but I didn't have the heart to cancel on someone who might really need my help, so I grabbed a Snickers and a Coke from the vending machine and headed back to my office.

Nancy shook her head when she saw me guzzling the can of sugar and sighed. "I told you I would've ordered in sandwiches or picked up a smoothie for you."

"I'm fine." I had to close my mouth and swallow a bubble before it erupted from my throat obnoxiously. "Just need a bit of sugar before my next appointment." I glanced at my watch. "How much time do I have?"

She looked at her computer screen and then at her watch. "Your next appointment is in twenty minutes, so relax until then, and I'll let you know when he's in the exam room."

"Relax until then" was her code for "take a power nap."

I found myself needing them more and more often because my insomnia was getting worse as I got older. It took me forever to fall asleep at night, and then if I happened to wake up for any reason, it was almost impossible to go back to sleep.

Most days, I was operating on four or five hours of sleep, so the fifteen- or twenty-minute naps when I had downtime were the only thing that got me through the day.

"Thanks, Nancy. You're the best."

She nodded and turned toward her computer as I went straight into my office. I had tons of charts to update and two operative reports to complete from my last surgeries, but all that could wait. After inhaling the candy bar, I lowered the shade over my window, locked the door to my office, and stretched out on the loveseat pressed against the far wall.

It seemed like I'd barely closed my eyes before Nancy's voice came through from the speaker on my desk. "Mr. Porter is waiting for you in exam one."

I yawned and stretched out, patting my cheeks to force myself to wake up. It wasn't fair to my patient to see me looking all bleary-eyed and half asleep.

Before going into the exam room, I stopped by the restroom to wash up and splash some water over my face. I also took the opportunity to run my wet fingers through my hair to knock down my out-of-control cowlick before finally feeling awake enough to greet my new patient.

As per protocol, I compared the name on my tablet to the name on the chart at the door and then knocked. "It's Dr. Billings."

"Come in."

With my head mostly down and reviewing his intake paperwork, I walked inside and introduced myself. "Hi, there, Mr. Porter. I'm Dr. Billings." I finally looked up and locked my gaze on his before casually scanning his body. "It's great to meet you."

He just stared for a moment before he nodded and flashed a half-smile. "Good to meet you too. Thank you for getting me in on such short notice."

"Of course." I waved to the exam table and took a seat on my rolling stool. "Have a seat and tell me what I can do for you."

In my mind, I was imagining all the wonderful things I could do for him… Preferably while both of us were naked and those big muscles were manhandling me a bit. But I kept things professional and did my best not to lean in to get a better whiff of his cologne. Damn, he smelled good.

"Well, I'm not exactly sure. I mean, I know what's wrong, but… I'm not sure how you can help. I mean…"

I held my hand to stop him. "It's just you and me here, Mack. You can tell me anything. So in the most basic terms, what's bothering you?"

His eyes dropped to the floor, and I could tell he was very uncomfortable with the conversation we were about to have. As a doctor, I was trained to help people ease their discomfort, but I needed more information.

"Okay, the thing is…" He took a deep breath and looked up at me. "I need surgery to stop lactating."

I kept the shock off my face and merely nodded as I made a note in his chart. "Okay. Tell me about when you started lactating and how much you're producing."

His eyes bounced between mine, probably making sure I wasn't messing with him, before his shoulders dropped and he relaxed. "I was part of some experimental drug treatment as a kid. My mom worked at the university and… Well, anyway, I began lactating when I was around twelve. Pre-puberty. It was manageable for the most part, and then it stopped for a long time, but over the past ten years, it's started up again. And the flow is much heavier now than ever before."

Well, that was interesting. I'd heard of several hormonal studies performed on children over the past few decades that had produced similar side effects, but I'd never had a patient who started and stopped and then started up again. Usually, once they started, their production never went away. "Okay, and when you say it used to be manageable, how much was that?"

He cocked his head and looked out the window as he thought about it. "Probably less than a few teaspoons per day. Through adolescence and college, my nipples would leak every now and then, usually when I was exercising or…aroused. Eventually, it was so light that I didn't even notice. But now it's gone from a small trickle to pouring out of me. Like, if I were to collect it, it would probably be a few cups' worth every day."

"When did this start again?"

"It's been getting progressively worse over the past few years." He looked up, and I could clearly see the desperation in his eyes. His cry for help. "I don't know what to do anymore. I can't function normally in life because I constantly have to change my clothes and wear tons of layers to absorb the milk."

"I see. Well, I've definitely worked with patients in a similar situation. And I know how upsetting it can be to make the necessary lifestyle changes to accommodate your new situation, especially at this stage in your life."

That was the understatement of the year. "Yeah, I'm too old for this shit. Why is this happening now? When it first started, the doctors said it would get worse after puberty and probably stay consistent for the rest of my life. But when it seemed to dry up, I thought I was good. Why is it a problem now?"

I lowered my tablet to the counter and stood up to approach him. "I can't tell you that with any certainty, but may I take a look?"

His eyes went wide as if I were offering to have sex with him right there on the table, but eventually, he exhaled a low breath and nodded. "Yeah. Of course."

With an expression as stoic as I could muster, I untied the front of his gown and exposed his chest. "I'm just going to feel around, if that's okay with you?" I looked into his eyes, and I could see he was at war with himself, bouncing between humiliation and desperation.

"Yeah. Do whatever you need to do. I need this fixed."

I carefully pressed two fingertips against the top of his pectoral muscle, slowly inching down toward his nipple, so I could feel where he was most sensitive. My eyes were on his face, and as soon as he winced, I knew I had found it. "Sorry, I know this isn't comfortable, but it'll help me determine how much you're producing." I moved in a circular motion around his nipple, slowly working my way toward the center.

Milk immediately started to bubble from his ducts, and when I closed my fingers completely around his nipple and pinched, a heavy spray flowed out onto my hand.

He squeezed his eyes shut and grimaced. "Sorry. See what I mean?"

"No need to apologize. I'm a doctor." I waited for his eyes to open and find my gaze again. "I work with patients like you every single day. There's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, most of my patients are pretty proud of their production and have built entire businesses around their milk supply, so it's truly nothing to be embarrassed about." As far as I was concerned, it was sexy as fuck and something I desperately wanted in a partner of my own. But I kept that to myself.

"I just need it to stop. Even having that much spray out is enough to ruin my day, as you can imagine. And I don't know how to get rid of it."

I tested the texture between my fingertips and smelled it. It was warm and creamy. Perfect. "When you were younger, did you ever have to hand express or pump?"

A look of horror crossed his face. "No. I didn't have enough to need it. It was literally just bubbles. The first time I saw it, my mom thought it was some kind of a skin infection, so we just went to urgent care. Once it was confirmed to be milk, I waited for it to get worse, and it never did. Eventually, it seemed to mostly dry up, or at least, it was minimal enough that I didn't notice it on a daily basis. But now, my chest is always sore and I'm always wet."

Clearly, he had not been well informed about his own healthcare. "I'm sorry you have to deal with this. When most people start to lactate, men or women, there's usually a significant amount of education and learning that comes with it. You seem to have missed all that, so we're gonna start at the beginning." I went into my cabinet and pulled out a specimen jar. "If you're comfortable with it, I'd like to teach you how to hand express the milk, which will relieve the pressure and help you stop leaking at inappropriate times."

He just nodded and swallowed hard like I was about to torture him. "Okay."

"If that's not enough, I can prescribe a pump that you can use as often as necessary. I also have some resources that will be very helpful in getting you more comfortable with your condition."

He huffed in frustration, and his shoulders dropped. "I don't really want to be comfortable with this. I just want it to end."

"Okay, I respect that and will support whatever you choose. We can use some patented techniques to remove your mammary glands. It's relatively safe and permanent, so if that's where you land, we'll do it. It's expensive and not every insurance will cover it, depending on whether there are secondary health risks, which it doesn't sound like you have."

He shook his head vehemently. "I don't care what it costs. I'll sell my house if I have to. I just need relief. I want to live a normal life."

"Understood. And that's what I'll help you with. But even getting approved for surgery will take at least a few weeks." I bit my lip as I thought about my schedule. "Maybe a little sooner if I can move some things around, but until then, I want you to have some tools to help you resume your normal lifestyle."

"Oh." He suddenly looked relieved that we were making a plan. "Yeah, that sounds good. Thank you."

"Okay, then let's get started." I positioned the cup right in front of his right nipple and stepped to the side of him, wrapping my thumb and forefinger around his tender skin and gently squeezing it until milk started to freely flow. "There we go. This isn't the best way to relieve the pressure, but it'll help. If you can manually express it, you'll have less leakage."

His breath hitched, probably from physical relief and maybe from the somewhat erotic sensations of being touched in this way.

But I ignored his reaction and continued to squeeze him in a rhythm that kept his milk flowing. "How does that feel?"

"Really good." He cleared his breath, catching the huskiness of his tone. "I mean, it's better. A lot better."

"Okay, great. I'd suggest doing this first thing in the morning, maybe in the shower, and then if you need to throughout the day, it'll only take a few minutes at a time to feel more comfortable."

"Um, yeah. Okay." He seemed tense, like my proximity was still making him nervous.

When his right pec was only releasing a light drizzle, I stepped back and dumped the milk down the sink. "How about you try doing the other side?"

His eyes went big, and I thought I detected some disappointment there, but this was something he needed to learn to do on his own. "Do I have to?"

"Yes." I grinned at his sarcasm and stepped to his left, holding the jar in place as I put my hand over his and molded my fingers against his to show him the right placement and pressure. "Okay, just squeeze and pull forward. It'll take a minute, but once it starts flowing, just keep going until there's nothing left."

I twisted my hips slightly, so he couldn't glance down and notice I was sporting a boner. That never happened with patients, and I was absolutely mortified that I couldn't keep my own shit together with such a routine procedure. But this man was sexy as hell and had no idea what kind of a gift he could be giving to a potential partner…or the world, if he chose to share it.

It took him a few seconds to get into a comfortable rhythm, but once he did, he was able to quickly empty his left side and breathed a heavy sigh of relief. "Fuck, that's so much better."

I sealed the lid on the jar of milk, almost wishing I could keep it to drink later, and then washed my hands while he stared down at his chest.

"I don't know why I didn't think of trying that sooner. It's so easy and…not so bad once I actually got the hang of it."

"Great. That should be enough, but if you feel like it's not, a pump will help. It can be a bit painful until you get used to it, but it's faster and will empty you out." I didn't mean to push him, but I also wanted to make sure he understood he had some options. "And if you decide against surgery, there are milk banks and organizations you can donate or even sell your milk to. Human milk is extremely valuable and a commodity that's always in demand. I have patients who earn a very nice living selling it to private clients and…there's a lucrative industry around it." I handed him the jar in a paper bag, along with an order for the lab. "I'm gonna send you to the lab to get some blood work done. I'd like them to also test your milk sample to make sure everything is good. After that, we can talk about all your options."

He sucked in a deep breath and exhaled through his mouth. "Sounds great, Doc." Mack closed up his gown and finally had an honest smile on his face. "You have no idea how much I appreciate this. I thought my life was basically over, but I feel a lot better now. About everything."

The way he looked at me made me want to curl into his side and nuzzle into him. He was exactly my type, and fuck, he smelled good. It made my brain think thoughts it shouldn't be thinking…and my mouth say things it definitely shouldn't have been saying.

"I'm happy to hear that." I placed my hand on his shoulder and gave him a soft squeeze. "It's not really appropriate for me to say this, but I happen to find it really sexy, so I hope you'll consider all your options before making a long-term decision."

His eyes were big again, and his mouth dropped open like he was about to say something but didn't know how to respond.

Shit, I shouldn't have said that. It was completely unprofessional and absolutely unethical, but I couldn't help myself. He was so tall and muscular and so damn sexy. A daddy-type like Mack needed to understand that what was happening to him was a good thing…

At least to a Little like me.