30. Sage

CHAPTER 30

Sage

"The Garden?" I asked, trying not to look too eager for his answer even though my pulse pounded so hard I was sure Lewin could hear it.

"It's a fae thing," Grefin said dismissively.

"It's not just a fae thing." Payne shot Grefin a frustrated glare.

"It's our everything," Kit said. "It's the most sacred place in our realm, the heart of our people and our goddess. We go there for our most sacred rituals, but also to find mates and to mate. Because any adult can go to the Garden physically but also spiritually, it's also become a place to be social. We could be scattered among the two realms, but we can still close our eyes and manifest our spirits in the Garden."

"Have you seen it?" I asked Lewin who snorted and ended up choking on his ale.

"No," he sputtered between coughs. "Humans aren't allowed. Even if you go to the fae realm, the Garden's magic won't let a human inside."

"Ever?" Well, there went my theory that everyone in the Guard ended up in that garden because of the fae magic binding us to the Tower. Still, there had to be a time when a human had gone there.

"Jeez, that's what he said." Grefin rolled his eyes at me as if I'd just confirmed to him how stupid I really was. "I hope you're at lease half decent with a sword because teaching you is going to be tedious."

He drained his ale in one long gulp then picked up his tray and headed to the back of the hall to get rid of his dirty dishes.

"He'll warm up to you," Kit said, digging in to his stew.

"Unless, of course, you really are terrible with a sword," Payne added.

Swell. I didn't think my swordsmanship was terrible, but I also wasn't strong compared to everyone else here. And while I was fast, it only took one good strike from an opponent to lose a bout. That and my whole body was starting to hurt from the work I'd done that morning, so I had no doubt I wasn't going to be able to do my best that afternoon and that was just going to prove to Grefin how hopeless I was.

"Cheer up," Lewin said. "We don't think you're stupid."

"Yeah." Payne ripped off another chunk of bread and set it on my tray to replace the piece Lewin had stolen. "Humans can't go to the Garden, so most humans don't know about it. The only reason the human Guardsmen know is because half of the Guard is fae and at least half of us are hoping to be bound to a female mate."

Except I'd been there.

It must have been a mistake. The fae magic binding me to the Tower had still been new and a little hot in my arm when I'd gone to sleep. It had to have somehow mixed with my strange ability to have premonitions and I'd ended up there last night.

But now that the burn was gone — I hadn't even noticed it waking up in the morning — I'd be fine. When I went to bed tonight, I'd stay in my bed and I wouldn't have to worry about embarrassing myself in front of that mystery man or the Lord Commander or Talon.

"Are you two hoping for a female mate?" I wasn't sure why I asked and as soon as the words slipped out, I realized how rude the question probably was.

"No," Payne said unoffended as he glanced at Kit, his amethyst eyes filled with a fierce love that warmed my heart while also making me a little jealous. He was truly in love with Kit. The kind of love talked about in the minstrels' tales. The kind of love that as a noblewoman I'd never have. "Even if I had magic and was eligible, I wouldn't."

"I have magic, so I'd have been eligible before we took our vows," Kit said, "but no one's soul, woman's or man's, has ever called to me like Payne's."

"It's all so romantically disgusting," Lewin said, his tone playful, clearly not upset that his teammates were in a relationship. "Fae in love are the worst."

Lewin teased Kit and Payne a bit more about being too sappy for Guardsmen then the conversation shifted to talk about the increased number of shadow monsters, especially during the daytime, and how this year was the largest number of novices the Tower had ever seen.

The bell rang five times and Kit, Payne, and Lewin grabbed their dirty trays — Payne grabbing mine as well — and they left me sitting on the bench waiting for my official assessment to begin.

The great hall cleared out and soon there were only five groups sitting at various tables and me. The group closest to me was all fae. There were nine of them, all big, all muscular, all armed, and all looked like they knew what to do with their weapons. They weren't, however, in black, so I could only assume they were the fae novices.

The other four groups consisted of humans of a variety of ages — although none of them looked to be as young as Sawyer — and, from the quality of their clothes, all walks of life as well. There were twenty — so twenty-one human sacrifices if I included myself — and five of them looked just as dangerous and skilled as the nine fae. They must have been the humans Lord Quill had mentioned, the ones who saw joining the Guard as an honor and a duty and prepared for it.

They all had numerous weapons strapped to their bodies and all looked at the rest of us as if we were lesser than they were. And in truth we probably were. They were already warriors. We weren't.

Three of them sat together in their own small group, and talked quietly amongst themself and I got the impression they knew each other, while the other two sat in different groups. The rest of the groups were a mix of possibly skilled and possibly hopeless men. A few of them had weapons but mostly didn't.

Two of the humans — a man who looked to be a little older than the real me, and a boy probably a year or two younger — were too plump to have been in a physical profession before their names had been drawn and were likely going to struggle with whatever initial training we were going to get. While another man who looked to be older than everyone else, probably twenty-six, sat at the edge of one of the groups, his expression desolate. He'd probably thought he'd made it, probably had a life before his name had been drawn. There were probably children who were going to be without a father now.

The Lord Commander, along with Talon and Lord Quill, marched through the same doorway the Lord Commander had come through at the morning meal. They were breathtaking, the most achingly beautiful men in the room and something soft shivered through me.

What was it with the fae men?

No, not all fae. My pulse didn't stutter when Kit or Payne looked at me.

There was something about Lord Quill and Talon — and Lord Rider if I was being honest with myself — that made it hard to look away.

I tried to not stare at them, but just like the last few times I'd run into them, I couldn't seem to help myself. There was something about them, something compelling, and it wasn't just Talon with his magic. All three of them tugged at something within me.

They stopped at the closest — and empty — table and swept their gazes over the room.

"I don't want to yell," The Lord Commander said, pointing to the empty table in front of him even though I was sure he was perfectly capable of yelling.

Everyone got up and moved and the Lord Commander watched us, his gaze appraising, assessing us by how we hurried or didn't hurry to our new seats. And when his gaze fell on me, I could tell by the way his eyes narrowed, that he'd already made up his mind about me and that I was lacking.