Chapter Four | Jamal

I'd never enjoyed the museum as much as I had today. Having Liam with me made every single exhibit better. He hadn't rushed me when I wanted to take my time; and hadn't been frustrated when I read every exhibit information card. And, most surprisingly, he had put up with my inability to stop myself from spouting random facts. He seemed truly interested in what I had to say.

Now, I was seated across from him in a restaurant about to share a meal. We'd ordered and were talking about what we'd seen when he fell silent, studying my face, his gaze wandering everywhere while he fiddled with his napkin. For a few seconds, he became fixated on my lips.

I fought back the desire to lick them.

The day had begun to feel like a date.

"I live with my family," I said to steer the conversation.

That broke his intense gaze. His brow furrowed. "Your parents?"

"More like immediate family. We have a large six-bedroom house. My sister, her husband, and their son live in a two-bedroom suite on the main floor. My one-room suite is down there as well. Our parents and two of our grandparents live upstairs. My dad's parents. My cousin has a room up there too. He moved in after I had my accident. He'll be the one to head our household one day. That would've fallen on me … but the accident. I can't be what my family needs."

I was rambling.

"So, they brought in your cousin to fill your place? "

"He comes from a family of multiple sons. He was the youngest."

Liam furrowed his brow. "Huh."

"It's a cultural thing. My parents will have someone to take care of them when they get old."

He looked confused, but that was to be expected.

"That's a lot of people," he said.

"It doesn't feel like it. Multi-generational family living is what I've always known."

"Do you find it difficult to get any privacy?"

"I spend most of my time in my room, but we all eat dinner together."

"Who cooks? That's a lot of food."

"My mom and my dadi … my grandma."

"The most number of people I've cooked for are the Salish Sea Society guys. We typically go to Owen's for dinner but sometimes I have them over to my place. I like to cook."

I loved food. I was a card-carrying foodie. "What are your favourite foods?"

Liam hummed, making my heart patter. "I'm partial to Thai food. A good Tom Yum Goong can cure all that ails you. Or a Khao Soi. And I wouldn't say no to sampling someone's Pad Thai."

"You like your soups."

"Soups and salads make up a large part of my diet."

"That's how you stay so lean?" I hadn't planned on commenting on his body. But the conversation had naturally landed on it. I was curious how he achieved such beauty.

"Yeah. Carbs are my nemesis, and I eat so much blanched chicken breast that I should have sprouted wings by now. I allow myself to eat as many vegetables as I want."

"That's very restrictive."

"I'm used to it. "

I sat back as my linguine with cream sauce and grilled chicken was set in front of me. Liam was given a massive salad. I suppose it was possible to fill up on something like that.

I began dividing up my meal, pasta on one side, and chicken on the other. I looked up. Liam was staring at my plate. He raised his gaze and looked at me.

"You eat one thing at a time?" he asked.

"I know. It's a peculiar habit. I've been doing it for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, I didn't even like when different foods touched. I drove my parents a little crazy at mealtimes."

"I do that too," Liam said. "Eat one thing at a time."

I raised my eyebrows. "Seriously?"

"Since I was a kid."

"I've never met anyone else who does it."

"Me neither."

I looked at his salad. He'd already moved the chicken to one side. He currently had his fork stuck in a cucumber slice. They'd be the next to be moved. He was telling the truth. No wonder he'd been so particular about what they put on his salad. He'd turned down the crumbly toppings.

"Such a strange thing to have in common," I said.

"I'm sure we could find more things." Liam winked at me, then appeared to regret it. His eyes grew wide before he looked down at his plate. He stayed focused on arranging his food.

I set in on my linguine. "Noah says you've all known each other since high school."

"Yup." He nodded his head as he poured a vinaigrette over the lettuce portion of his salad. "At first it was just Noah and me. Ethan barged in and started hanging out with us. Then he dragged Owen into the mix. We became inseparable over the summer holidays."

"Did you know you were all gay? "

"Individually to ourselves, I'm pretty sure, yeah. We weren't out to each other."

"You were lucky to find one another."

"Those guys are my found family."

"What about your birth family?"

Liam wrinkled his nose. "They don't deserve a mention."

Okay, we're dropping that subject.

"Noah says you're into surfing and a bunch of other sports."

"I love surfing and snowboarding. Plus, I run every morning."

"I've tried skiing. And I've been wanting to try kayaking." I twirled some pasta on my fork. "Before my accident, I was an avid cyclist. Even took part in the Tour de France."

Liam's eyebrows peaked. "That's pretty intense. Cycling in something like that."

"It was an experience. I'm glad I did it."

"Do you miss it? Cycling?"

Wow, an honest question. I hated when people tip-toed around me and how my accident had left me paralyzed. Liam was unique. He was making an effort to know me.

"I do. I have a bike I can pedal with my arms, but it's not the same."

"I have a bike. We should go cycling together sometime."

Spoken like it was the most natural suggestion in the world. He'd skipped right over my disability. He was treating me like any other able-bodied guy.

I smiled at him. "I'd love that."

God, he's perfect.

Not taking a chance on straying from the friend zone was going to be difficult. Which left me wondering what the drag queen, Charlotte Dubois, meant to him.

"How long have you known Charlie?" I asked.

Liam tipped his head. "You know him? "

"Just by reputation. I follow Charlotte on social media."

"We've known each other for a while." Liam furrowed his brow at me. "It's a tumultuous association." He stabbed one of the cherry tomatoes on the edge of his plate. "Do you want to come to the house and see the kids? I know they haven't been coming to the centre as much."

Guess we're not talking about Charlie.

There was one problem with going to Noah's. I'd been there before. There were four stairs leading to their front door. And the backdoor wasn't wheelchair accessible at all. I could get up and down a few steps with my wheelchair if there was a sturdy railing, but they didn't have one.

When I visited, Brody had hauled me up the stairs. I didn't want to have Liam do that for me. I felt too self-conscious around him. He hadn't given me any indication that he saw my wheelchair but fighting my wheelchair into Noah's house would break what might be an illusion.

"Maybe some other time. I have to get back to the centre. I have paperwork to do."

Liam sighed and nodded, making me wonder where his head was at. This was simply two friends spending a few hours together. Why had Liam wanted to extend our day?

My mind formulated all sorts of scenarios.

Most involved kissing Liam's full pouty lips.

I wasn't hungry after the large meal I'd eaten at lunch with Liam. Because my grandparents were out for their weekly dinner at my aunt's, tonight was Taco Tuesday. Not my favourite dish. Pretty much impossible to separate food items and eat them one at a time. It would be kind of missing the point to avoid piling the soft taco shells full of fillings.

I picked and chose which foods I didn't mind touching and put together one taco.

"Are you not hungry?" my mom asked .

"I had a large lunch, Mamma. I had pasta after going to the museum with a friend."

"Which friend?" Zahir, my cousin, asked.

"A new friend."

Meera straightened in her chair. "Liam?"

My cheeks heated. I still couldn't believe what a good time we'd had today. Like a cliché, we had absolutely clicked. "Yes, I went with Liam. We had a fun day."

"How much fun?" Meera teased.

I glared at her. "He's obsessed with the museum as much as I am."

"I find that hard to believe," my dad said, smiling.

"Thanks a lot, Pappa. We're not the only two out there who are."

"Did you bore him with your fact obsession?" This question was posed by Meera's husband, David. He and Meera had been high school sweethearts. I'd known him for as long as she had.

"He didn't mind," I answered. "He found what I had to say interesting."

Meera laughed. "Then he's a saint."

"Why don't you invite him over for dinner sometime?" Mamma suggested.

Maybe.

"I'll think about it."

"What does this Liam do for a living?" Pappa asked, which didn't surprise me. He was obsessed with what people did for work.

"He's a bartender at Noah's pub." My family knew Noah well. He'd been over to dinner many times during the years I'd known him. Now Brody had been welcomed into our home. I loved my family. They were naturally warm and inviting and accepted everyone.

"Does he work days or nights?" Pappa continued .

"He works at night, but he's also the bar manager."

It was kind of strange how much I knew about Liam, but Noah had a habit of talking about him to me. They were best friends. That's how I knew Liam was a decent guy.

I picked at my taco, deciding the ground beef would be better on its own. My family was going to love Liam. Meera had seen pictures of him, but I knew for a fact, she was going to swoon when she saw him in person. And he smelled so good. I'd been close enough to him to identify the scent of coconuts that clung to him like a fragrant pi?a colada.

He was so much more than his gorgeous looks, though. Judging by the language of his posts, he appeared oblivious to that. He was a man who didn't know his self-worth.

I'd told Noah as much several times.

Inviting Liam into my life, I potentially stood to gain a man who might look past my disability. From the start, he had treated me as if he didn't see the wheelchair. The laughs and teasing we had shared at the museum made me feel as though he only saw what lay beneath my skin.

I prayed that was the case.

David carried my wheelchair down the stairs after dinner as I rode the chair lift to the ground floor. When I got back to my room, I phoned my good friend Warren. He'd introduced me to a group for queer people with disabilities. Queerabilities . Warren had cerebral palsy and used crutches to get around. I'd spent many an hour at Warren's watching sports on television.

"Hey, buddy," he answered.

"How's your night treating you?"

"Been a painful day. How about you?"

"We had tacos."

"Unfortunate for you. I would love tacos right about now. "

"I survived. The rest of the day was good. I went to the museum with a friend."

"Brave friend," he replied.

"He's as much a museum geek as I am." I put my phone on speaker and tossed it onto the bed. "Just a sec." I transferred onto my bed and got comfortable at the head with a pillow behind my back. "His name is Liam and I'm seriously crushing on him. Not sure what to do about it."

"Is he gay?"

"In the extreme. He's got a bit of a reputation in the community."

"Explain to me why you're attracted to him."

"Liam is a bit of an enigma. The way he acts in his everyday life … let's just say, he gets around. But spending time with him, I feel like he might be looking for a place to settle."

"And you think that might be with you."

"I wouldn't object. He's kind and loyal, intelligent … and beautiful in every way."

"But he likes to sleep around. Does he even do relationships?"

I sighed. According to Noah, the answer to that question was no . Liam had only had one relationship and that had been in university. A lifetime ago.

"No, he doesn't." I sighed. "To be honest, I'm not seriously considering going after him."

"Might be better to keep it that way. I don't want to see you get hurt."

Warren was right. Liam was out of my reach. He had his pick of any man he wanted. I couldn't imagine anyone turning him down. That in mind, he wasn't what I was looking for. I needed a committed man who would accept my limitations and meet me where I was on an emotional level.

I wanted a dedicated monogamous life partner .

"I'm off to have a shower," I said.

"See you at the meeting?"

"Always."

I ended the call and set about removing my clothes. After some manoeuvring, I was undressed. I threw a cover onto the cushion of my wheelchair and transferred onto it.

After I dealt with my bladder, I wheeled partway into my shower. I placed a soft washcloth on my shower bench, lifted my legs into place with my hands, and moved onto the bench, then pushed the wheelchair a short distance away. Enough that it wouldn't get wet but where I could still reach it. I lifted the handheld showerhead from an attachment on the wall, turned it away from me, and started the water, testing it until the temperature was right.

The hot water felt good on my skin.

After shampooing and washing, I sprayed the forceful water into my lap as I thought of Liam. My cock showed some interest. In all the years I'd been seeing his pictures, I had never jerked off to visions of him. It had taken spending time with him to start a stampede of yearning for him.

My cock thickened so I wrapped my hand around it and stroked it to see if it was going to cooperate. I closed my eyes and imagined kissing Liam. Feeling his hands on me. Caressing me. In my imagination, both of us were on my bed … and I was able to move my legs.

He turned and knelt before me, his hole pink and perfect, begging for me to fill it. My cock twitched and swelled further. In my mind, I bent forward and kissed the back of Liam's shoulders. He sighed and reached behind him for me. I exhaled his name into his ear as I penetrated him.

I rode the ebb and flow of the wave building within me, pumping my dick for what felt like forever. It was never quick. No matter how wound up I was … it was never quick .

I pounded Liam's ass, both of us sweating and swearing until the coil let loose in my groin. I shuddered as my orgasm rippled through me. Even my legs managed some movement.

My cock softened as I sprayed down my thighs. There was nothing to wash away. On rare occasions, I might produce one small bead of cum. Most times not. My body could no longer switch over to release it. The entirety ended up in my bladder where no one could taste or play with it. Surely, even someone as kind as Liam would be put off by something like that.

Not that he'd ever find out.

It would be a miracle if we ever got to that place.