22. Perry

Icouldn't just leave the poor cat there.

It was wet and scared and should have been an easy grab. Our crew was on the way back to base. Everyone from the island was out safely, but we thought we should give the abandoned warehouse in the valley a pass since it was a known area for the few homeless people and often some transients on their way across the provincial border.

And the odd time it held teenagers making poor decisions.

The area was clear, thank god, and we were making our way back towards town. We travelled using zodiac boats as the water was now too deep, and the strength of the current was building.

But I heard the meow for help and saw a young cat perched at the edge of a broken window.

"Eddie, hold up. There's a cat."

Our crew leader surveyed the area and pointed to the powerful current pulling a nearby tree.

"Perry, the currents are strong. That tree is leaning and I'm worried it might fall into this house any minute. It's too risky."

But I shook him off. "Three minutes. I'll swim over, drop it in the basket and get right back."

"I don't feel good about it, Perry."

"I can't leave it!"

The moment Eddie reconsiders, I'm in the water before he can change his mind. The rescue tube with a mesh bottom trails behind me as I swim up to the building and find a safe place to grab onto.

"Hey, fella. I'll get you."

The cat makes a pitiful cry that tugs my heart and leaps into my arms.

"Good boy. Now you just need to sit in this biscuit thing and I'll get you back safe, okay?"

Reeling in the tow rope, I place the cat in the basket and swim back to the boat.

I'm only fifty feet from the zodiac when the guys on board shout and a loud boom sounds behind me. The tree has fallen and caught a part of the abandoned warehouse, but now the tree is heading right for me.

With no scuba gear on, I hold my breath and duck under the surface in a move to evade the tree faster underwater. When I surface, I think I'm in the clear until I'm yanked backward and away from the zodiac coming toward me.

A branch of the tree latched onto the tow rope and my rescue cat howls as we float down the river a little too quickly for my liking.

Eddie's boat is gaining on me, and I pull the knife from my belt to cut us free.

"Just hang in there, little dude. I'll get us out of here."

The thunder of blood rushing in my ears makes my hands shake, but I'm not fucking leaving this world today. Not now. Not after finally finding what makes me happy.

The knife cuts the rope, and after jamming it back in my belt, I swim with one hand over to the waiting lifesaver tube. My team reels me in and Eddie orders the boats back to the marina ASAP. After taking the cat, I haul myself in the boat. The team is quiet, concern etched across their brows.

"You said I could go, Eddie."

My team leader nods, his jaw set as he tips his chin towards the water.

"Look behind you, Perry."

Rolling over to survey the area I was in only moments ago, the bottom of my stomach sinks. The building is folding in and the damage the tree did was enough to send it crashing. The wall where the cat was sitting is bowed out and ready to float down the river, creating a chilling sight.

If I'd been there even thirty seconds later, this might have ended differently.

The boats take a wide berth around the tree and building and head towards the marina.

"I'm sorry, Eddie. I should've listened."

"Don't apologize. I'm the one who didn't stand firm. I'm the one who put you in danger."

"It won't happen again, Eddie."

He claps a hand on my shoulder with a curt nod. The silent understanding that we both dodged a bullet and he won't let it happen again.

The rest of the journey is in silence, except for the howls of a wet and scared cat who I tuck against me to shield from the wind as best as I can. When we arrive at the marina, the water completely submerges the docks. Some have dislodged and are now hazards, floating freely anywhere the water takes them. It's dicey to land safely. But we manage because we're professionals and that's what we do.

"What the hell? Why is someone here past the scene tape?"

Looking across the lot, an unmistakable lemon yellow coat and giant green boots call like my own personal lighthouse. With a touch of frustration that he came looking for me when I told him to stay put, I turn to the man beside me.

"Mitch, take the cat for a minute. I got this." Shoving the cat into the man's arms, I jog over through the calf deep water over towards Roman.

He remains still as I lumber towards him. His blue eyes are wide under his yellow hood and his lower lip trembles.

"What are you doing down here, baby? It's not safe to pass the yellow tape. I told you to wait for me."

His hands clench at his sides before he shoves them in his pockets.

"I did! I was! And…and… there was talk about a building collapsing and…and…"

Roman gulps in air before swiping at the wetness on his face. I'm positive those are tears and not raindrops. But we can talk about that later.

"You should've stayed put! Don't you ever come out and put yourself in danger. The water is rising all over and it's not safe. Don't ever risk your life for me like this."

His blue eyes flash, and he stomps closer, sending water flying. One small fist thumps on my chest.

"If I can't risk my life for you, what's the purpose of loving you? Isn't that the point? To search for the people we care about when they're in trouble? To make sure they come home safe even when they spent the day saving others?" He sobs and collapses against me. "I didn't tell you I loved you before you left and I thought I might have missed my chance. I'm sorry."

I'm too stunned to process all that, and this is definitely not the hallmark moment I pictured. There're no hearts and flowers and the glow of candles. No tender kisses and caresses.

But it's gut wrenching just the same as I hold him tight and take a moment to let the words sink in. Leave it to Roman to make a declaration of love confrontational.

"I love you too, Roman."

"I know!" He sobs and I can't help but laugh.

"Okay, Han Solo. Let's get everyone out of here safely and talk about this at home, okay?"

My team member, Mitch, hovers nearby. He hands me the cat when I motion it over and I push the wet and scared animal into Roman's arms.

"Hold this while I help with the boats. And keep standing right here, understand?"

He nods and hugs the cat close.

"I'll wait for you. I promise."

And the conviction in his voice almost breaks me.

After checking in at the shelter and updating everyone that nobody was trapped or injured, I brought Roman and our new furry friend home.

Leo was relieved by someone else to run the shelter overnight and when he hugged me goodbye, he whispered something that made me rethink a lot of things.

Once we got home, our power was back on. Roman silently went to work drying off the cat and finding a can of tuna it could eat. After filling its belly, the cat curled up on the end of the sofa to sleep like it's always lived here.

Roman's face is still pale and without the cat to distract him, he finally gives me his attention. But I know that's how he is. When big things, emotional things especially, need to be dealt with, Roman needs time and space to process. He may randomly blurt out thoughts and feelings sometimes, but he's anything but random.

He plans and overthinks. But I love him like that and I understand why.

"Where do we start with all this, Perry? I don't know what to do here."

He pulls his knees to his chest and leans into me on the couch.

"Well, can we start with you telling me you love me again? I'd really like to hear it without being calf deep in sludgy river water."

A small smile appears, and he laughs softly.

"You know, my sisters always tell me I'm dramatic. There was never anything boring or plain about me. I guess that's really true now, huh?"

"I wouldn't want you any other way."

He nods his head before uncurling his legs and turning to face me.

"I think I've had feelings for a while, but I wasn't sure until…." He bites his lip before huffing a breath. "Until last night. Before we even had sex. When you weren't at the party on time and I saw Leaf with Sasha, it just sort of slammed into me. That I wanted you there so badly my chest ached. And I missed you."

"Aww, you missed me?"

I bump his shoulder with a playful grin, and he shakes his head.

"Yes I did, asshole. I'm baring my heart to you like you asked. Don't make it worse."

"Sorry. Go on."

He winks at me, gaining his confidence to speak about his feelings, and my stomach swoops. How does he always do that to me?

"Against my better judgment, yes, I missed you. And even when we came home, and you took care of me, I…I don't know how to explain it except there was a voice inside me screaming that you were special and I need to look past your obsession with plaid—"

"You'll wear it one day. You'll love it."

"Do you want me to tell you I love you or not?"

"You just did."

He huffs a laugh while his hands twist themselves in his lap.

"Will you promise to always be a bit of an asshole sometimes? I think that's what I love most about you."

"Only sometimes?"

I can't keep my hands to myself any longer and reach over to calm his fidgeting. He stares at my hand on his, giant and rough to his, smooth and small, before raising one to his lips.

"Yes, only sometimes. Because sometimes I need you to put me in my place." He focuses on me, still clutching my hand. "And sometimes I need you to leave me peeled grapefruit in the kitchen and hold me while I sleep."

My eyelids fall closed as I puff a breath. This was not what I expected today, but I can't say I'm not happy about it.

"So when I'm not asshole I'm to be what?"

Roman swallows before kissing the palm of my hand. God. The strength he needs to say all this knocks the breath from me.

"Be the amazing man you are." He leans forward and places a kiss on my cheek. "Because you are and I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you."

"It's not easy to always say the way we feel." My palm slides along his cheek, still pale, but still so beautiful. Always beautiful. "If we're agreeing to do this…this thing, to be something for each other, I need to tell you something."

"If you tell me you're about to move and take a job in Alaska, I'll fucking scream. But I'd pack my bags to follow you after."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, I wouldn't like all the snow and darkness, but they have cool animals there. Wait, no, some are dangerous. Okay, I'd not like that part after all. But you're there and I'd be happy."

Roman just says all that with a certainty that wraps around my heart and catches me off guard.

"Wow. That's…you're serious about this, aren't you?"

"Yeah, Perry. I mean, Sasha is different. He's my best friend. I followed him because I can't live without him in my life. But it's a different love. With you…I can't breathe without knowing you'll still be there. I've never felt that before." He leans in to kiss my lips. "I'm either in love with you or I need to see a doctor."

"Fuck…Ro…"

My voice cracks as I stare at him. He's thrown me so many crumbs over the past few months, and I've waited for this conversation. It almost feels surreal.

"My previous serious relationships couldn't handle the nature of my job. You know, sometimes I was away for three weeks at a time, only to come home for two days and be gone another week." Those were days I don't miss. Losing people I loved while I tried to make a living at a job I loved was a hard pill to swallow. "The last one was especially hard because she cheated on me with another cop. One who didn't travel all the time and was home most nights."

That was my lowest point. I felt like such a failure.

"That's their loss, Perry. My gain, I suppose. But you're retired now, right?"

"I am. Sort of. It's not like I draw a pension yet. I'm only forty-one, but I saved well and made some good investment choices. Mom and Dad left us their estate, too. I work for Leaf when needed, mostly to keep busy. Sometimes I help my friend with his construction business if I need to do something else. But…"

Searching his face, he's just listening to me and taking it all in. There's no dramatics right now, but what about the next time I need to join a rescue effort?

"I still do things you need to be okay with. Like today. I'm a volunteer firefighter and I will be called to a scene. I offer to help in any crisis and that might sometimes mean putting myself in danger. It's who I am, Roman. I can't just turn it off."

He nods but stays silent, and I tilt his chin back up.

"I need to know you're not gonna run on me if something comes up again. If I'm away for an extended time, or—"

"No. I won't and I'll tell you why." He climbs onto my lap and places his hands on my shoulders before sliding them up to hold my cheeks. "I may be skittish of relationships because of how I lost my parents, but one thing I never acknowledge is how grateful I am that someone like you gave our family closure." He swallows and brings his forehead to mine. "I…fuck, Perry…if something happened to you, I'd be a wreck. But if you provided that same thing for a family? I'd be so proud that I once called you mine and knew you in a way nobody else does."

His voice cracks, and he sniffles.

"Look what you've done to me already. And it's only the beginning. I don't cry and do all this…this…kind of shit."

This is as romantic as Roman is likely ever going to get. And I love it because I know even this kind of shit is from the heart.

"That's right, gorgeous. It is the beginning. Buckle up."

"Buckle u—"

I stand with my hands firmly on his ass as he laughs in surprise.

"Buckle up because the ride is about to start."

"I hope you mean your dick is the ride. I like that kind of ride." He nibbles my ear and I almost drop him as I stride to the bedroom. "I didn't know sex could be so good when I let someone else take over."

"Sex with me will always be good." I drop him on the bed with a smirk. "No matter who is in charge."

"You're such an arrogant ass." He laughs as he rips off his shirt and reaches for me.

"And you're a judgemental prick."

He barks another laugh, and his lips smile against mine as I crash my lips to his.

It's not much different from any other time we've made out and pawed at each other like needy animals, but there's this simmering layer of something else now. Like the last barrier he had up has toppled, and he's giving me all of him.

His fears, his snark, his body… his heart. The one thing I've been wishing for is finally mine.

And to have it all unlocks this fucking feral animal in me.

"Come into the shower with me." I pull away and he whines, honest to god whines, and I can't fight the smile.

"Babe…I want you to fuck me." He rubs his bulge through his pants, and I pull him by the ankles down the bed. He squeaks and glares at me.

"I will and you're coming in the shower with me."

I shuck the rest of my clothes and make sure he has a good view of my cock before turning into the bathroom. He'll follow me. I know he will. After I turn the shower on, I rummage in a vanity drawer for what I want. As my hands close on the waterproof lube and plug I hoped I still had his arms wrap around me from behind.

"I hate that I'm so fucking into you I listen so easily."

Turning in his arms, I plant a kiss on his lips and he squeezes me tighter, not letting me pull away.

"I love it when you listen. When you argue." I kiss him slow, deep and he sighs against me. "Right now, I hope you'll listen." I tap the plug against his ass cheek.

"Mr. Attwater, have you been hiding things from me?"

He grabs my hand to see what it is and raises an eyebrow.

"Sometimes I liked to play a little. I was never into bottoming like many are, but now and then I liked to—"

"Stuff yourself up?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"That's so hot. I want to see that."

"Another time, if you ask nicely. Tonight it's you. If that's okay?"

Again he stares at me with those fucking blue eyes of heaven and I'm truly and utterly shocked this man is so different from the one I first met.

"It's more than okay."

Leading him into the shower, I crowd him against the wall and kiss him until I need to stop and gulp in air. "I was going to take this all slow and sensual, but I can't. Turn around."

Roman does immediately, and I coat the plug and my fingers with lube. I press one into him and he arches his back, pressing his ass back into my hand. It's not a huge plug, maybe a medium size, and it's been so long since I felt the desire to use it. It's black with a giant flat crystal on the end and I know it will look so hot against his creamy skin.

He rocks back and moans for more, and I drizzle more lube into his crack. Blocking the shower spray so it doesn't wash it off, I drag the plug through it and press it to his pretty pucker.

"My dick is bigger than this, gorgeous. Breathe. I want to see you take it."

Roman hangs his head and the moment he relaxes, the plug pushes past his rim and he gasps while reaching for his cock. I press it all the way in and he exhales raggedly as he adjusts to it.

I was right. It looks incredible nestled in his cheeks and I wonder if he'd think the same for me?

Stepping to the side, the water now hits his back, and he turns to me, cheeks flushed and eyes glazed, his damp blonde hair sticking to his forehead. Pulling him forward, I make him stand under the water as I hurriedly wash him. I had grand plans of edging him in here, worshipping him and driving him out of his mind before taking him to my bed.

But all those plans are out the window because I'm too fucking horny to care about anything sweet and sentimental. I want to fuck him. Hard and against the damn shower wall.

Tapping at the plug, I whisper those thoughts in his ear.

"I can't wait." I pull it and twist it a little and he moans. It's low, but so damn loud within the confines of the shower.

"Me neither."

Growling, I fucking spin him and press him into the glass before playing with the toy a few more times to make him squirm.

"Perry…" His breathless plea sets me off and I remove the plug, barely giving him time to adjust to it missing before pushing my cock into him.

"That's it, baby. Relax and breathe. You've done it before. Take my cock, Roman."

His breathing picks up as he struggles to focus and I push more, unwilling to wait. My arm snakes around his waist to stroke his dick. He wiggles and squirms, and bucks his ass back on me, burying me inside of him. We both gasp and his hands slap against the shower glass. He looks over his shoulder at me.

"Jesus, Perry. Don't just stand there. Fuck m—"

I snap my hips, and the words die on his tongue as bliss washes over his face.

"Oh, fuck…you're gonna come inside me, right? I fucking want that. Please, please."

He's begging me now? Dear god, I'm glad we're in the shower because that's a direct line to my balls and I'm going to erupt.

"Yes." I bite his earlobe and he moans. "I'm gonna fill you. You want me to plug it back up, gorgeous? Do you want to keep that cum in there longer?"

"Fuck!"

Roman drops his head against the shower doors with a thud. He groans again and shoots his load, coating my hand and the shower glass as he impales himself on my dick. If I thought I was in control here, I got it all wrong. He's braced himself and rides me like he didn't just come all over the shower wall. Like he's still chasing an orgasm and I'm honestly not sure if he's chasing mine or trying to come again himself.

And it just hits me. My balls don't even let me think about it. Just kaboom! It's the orgasm to end all orgasms and I'm emptying into Roman, gripping his hips so hard it's likely to leave bruises.

"Yes, yes…Perry…shit."

Finally, both of us stop moving and I ease out of him. Pulling his back to my front, he leans back for a kiss, resting his head on my shoulder.

"You okay?" I reach for the soap to clean us both up before the hot water runs out.

He nods as I soap his body, and take care when washing his ass. Even this soon after a rough and dirty fuck, he's pushing back for me like he's needy for more. I gently dip a finger inside and he releases a low hum.

"Perry?"

"Yeah."

"I need some rest and you can keep doing that later."

Laughing softly against his neck, I let him rinse his body while I hurry to do the same.

After drying each other and exchanging lazy kisses, we finally agree to crawl into bed.

"You've got to be kidding."

He doesn't sound impressed and when I look to see what has him in such a snit, I laugh out loud.

The kitten has curled up on his pillow.