23. Roman

My classical music plays softly, the perfect accompaniment to the constant whirring of my sewing machine. My lingerie is a hit, and for the last two months, all I've been doing is sewing. And cutting. And more sewing.

Sasha kept up on the email enquiries and organizing the orders so I could do what I needed and Perry, well… he's just about the most helpful boyfriend on the planet. I knew the way I wanted to run this business would be an immense strain on my time, and he understood.

He asked how he could help and ran packages to the courier for me. I even showed him how to press the fine laces and silks. Thankfully, he's an excellent student, and he became invaluable to me more than he already was.

And he reminded me when I needed to eat and sleep. Which I sort of forgot about the first week and when I almost blacked out in the kitchen one day, he went all stern daddy on me. While I hated him scolding me like a child and yelled back at him like one, he just stepped up. And again, I hated it, but it also made my heart so full for him to just do this for me. He took care of me whether or not I wanted him to. I hate asking for help. Perry doesn't wait for me to ask. He just does it and I couldn't be more grateful.

"Ouch! What the fuck!"

Abandoning the sewing, I push back to stare at the offending source of pain.

Duke, the kitten Perry saved during the flood, sits under my sewing machine, proud as hell that he attacked my toes. Honestly, the cat wasn't even supposed to be here still. After he slept on my pillow and my side of the bed that night, I knew Perry wouldn't go through with it and adopt him out. He's too much of a softie.

But right now Duke is a pain in the… well, in the foot, and he should be upstairs.

"Come here, mister. I have deadlines and you're not helping."

He tries to bat at my hand and run away, but I'm too fast for him and scoop him into my arms. Marching up the stairs, I find Perry in the kitchen and pause for a moment to stare at this man who holds my heart.

In a pair of plaid lounge pants and those hideous Crocs he wears inside, he sings along to the music playing on his phone. About beautiful things and never letting them go. And my heart lodges in my throat.

He grabs a wooden spoon from the holder on the counter and uses it as a microphone, no longer singing, but lip-synching and god… I love him. Outrageous fashion choices and all. When he finally notices me standing there, he blushes and drops the spoon to the counter.

"Hey, how long have you been watching?"

"Right before the spoon microphone kitchen rockstar bit." I thrust Duke into his arms and the cat snuggles into him. I can't blame him. "You need to keep him up here today. He bit my foot while I was sewing."

He frowns at Duke, who does his best innocent kitten face.

"I can't believe something this cute would be a pain in the ass, Roman. Look at him!"

He scratches Duke's chin with a huge dopey grin on his face and I swear if I had ovaries, they'd be bursting right now.

"I am looking and he's a devil with me. Just keep him here or I'm shutting him in the spare room."

He gasps at the cat before snuggling him closer. "Don't listen to your other daddy. You don't have to go into the room. Just hang out with me and be good."

Other daddy.

Jesus. My heart can't take this man.

He smiles at me and I kiss him softly. Why do I have so much work when this man is on the floor above me, acting like a domestic god?

"There's a snack for you in the fridge. I was just about to bring it down."

"Oh?" Opening the fridge, I can't miss it. Slices of grapefruit, pretzel crackers, and a tiny bit of goat cheese. He arranged the grapefruit slices in a smiley face, and while the pretzels are the hair, I'm not sure what the cheese is supposed to be.

"I like your artistic presentation. What's the cheese supposed to be?"

He pours a mountain of cat treats on the floor and Duke immediately chows down.

"Jizz."

I cough. "Um…what?"

"I don't have white crackers for hair and pretzels are your favourite, so it doesn't even look like you."

"I doubt white crackers would have helped with that." I deadpan and his eyes drop to my lips.

"But the little pieces of goat cheese I imagined painting your face with my cum while you smile."

Honestly. Goat cheese and cum shouldn't be in the same sentence together, but Perry makes it work.

"Jesus, Perry. You can't…fuck…how am I supposed to work when you say shit like that?" He presses me into the fridge and rocks his hips into mine.

"You're a professional. You can do it. And now you have something to look forward to when you're done." His fingers flex at my hip and I bare my throat to him. He dips lower, knowing I love his marks, but not always visible, and he sucks a red spot above my right nipple.

"You should work naked, not just shirtless."

Laughing, I gently extract myself from his hold, and he adjusts himself.

"A dick out where there are tonnes of pins and needles is not a smart idea, babe."

"Oh! That reminds me. Neither are bare feet." He raises a serious eyebrow. "I worry about you stepping on them. I got you something."

He rushes to the hall closet and pulls out a brown paper shopping bag. There's a glint in his eye as he hands it to me. I look inside and immediately shake my head.

"No, fucking way am I wearing those."

"Roman, don't be so snotty. You shouldn't be barefoot with all that stuff."

"Then I'll wear a pair of stilettos!"

Perry pauses. "Do you have those? Cuz that would be hot: heels and your corset with the roses." He bites his lip and his gaze is like a brand on my skin, drawing a flush without trying.

"I do, and that's not the point. I'm not wearing—" I pull out one of the black Crocs. The hideous footwear I despise and I'm about to launch into a million reasons why I won't wear them when I look closer. There are those stupid Croc charm things on the front, and the one I focus on has me clamping my teeth together.

It's a sparkling charm. Likely those rhinestone abominations, but a sparkle dots the eye in the word boyfriend. I fish out the other Croc and it reads ‘I love'. So if I wear them, it says ‘I love my boyfriend' with a tiny pink rhinestone and I'd be the biggest dick in the world if I didn't wear them.

"You need to stop doing these sweet things for me." I sniff and drop the shoes on the floor. Sliding my feet in them, I find him watching with a crooked smile and I wag a finger at him. "No pictures."

"Too late." He snaps his phone off the counter and clicks. "I'm only sending it to Sasha."

Grumbling, I take my snacks and give him the finger as I head backstairs. And once I'm out of sight, I set the plate down and test the Crocs. And they're actually pretty comfortable, but it's the charms that make me smile.

With Duke out of the way and a snack in my belly, I power through two more orders before my phone lights up with a call from my sister.

"Hey, Josie! How's the—"

"It's me, Ro. She's in labour."

My sister-in-law Violet's voice quivers and I'm in immediate panic mode.

"Is everything okay? It's only two weeks early, and that's okay, right?"

"Yeah, that's okay, but the baby was breech at her last ultrasound and that was only a few days ago and…It'll still be fine, but it might not be, you know?"

"I'm coming home."

"Roman you don't need—"

"I do need, Vi. She's like my mother most days, but if there's…I'm gonna be an uncle and I want to be there. Keep me posted, please, and I'll let you know when I'll be there."

We had planned to drive up in two more weeks. The busy time at the lodge would be over and Sasha was going to come along, too. I wanted my sisters to meet Perry and him to meet the new baby. But now the baby is premature and possibly in danger.

I make a note of the order I'm working on and leave it on the machine. After shutting everything down and double-checking there's nothing for Duke to destroy, I race up the stairs.

Duke is asleep on his cat tree and Perry flips through the channels while reclining on the sofa. When he sees me, the smile drops and he's at my side.

"What happened?"

"The baby is coming. My sister. It might be breech, and I really need to get there."

Perry nods, calm and oblivious to me spiralling.

"I'll arrange a cat sitter and let Leaf know. You call Sasha so he can do whatever you need for the business." He kisses me on the forehead. "Then we'll pack and I'll drive you there."

"It's…I can't ask you to do that. I can get a flight."

"You're not asking me, love. I'm telling you. Go make your call and we'll get this done."

He picks up his phone from the coffee table and, after he puts it to his ear, he cocks his head while I still stand there.

"Roman. Call Sasha."

"Right."

Putting my phone on speaker, I head back to the spare room. Which is technically still my room. I sleep with Perry every night, but all my clothes are still here. It's a little odd, but there's still one part of me keeping a separate space as a ‘just in case.' Of what, I'm not entirely sure. Thankfully, Perry doesn't question it and calls it my dressing room.

"Hey, Ro!"

"Sasha, Josie is in labour and I have to go."

"Shit. That"s early. Is it okay that she's early?"

"Vi says it is, but they're worried the baby is breech and I'm…mildly freaking out."

"What do you need me to do?"

"I don't know how long I'll be gone. I finished a few orders today, and they need to be packaged and shipped. Could you drop by and do that? Oh, and could you pause orders online so I don't get swamped?"

"Of course I can. Perry is going with you, right?"

"I told him I could fly, but he said no."

"Roman. That man would do anything for you. Don't you dare be an asshole right now."

"I'm not! I wore the damn Crocs he bought me."

"He gave them to you already? Awww, he was supposed to wait for me."

Rolling my eyes, I pull out a small suitcase and toss it on the bed.

"Was it your idea too?"

"Not even a little. So when are you leaving?"

"He's getting someone to watch Duke and we're packing and heading out. I hope this doesn't cause too much trouble with the lodge. I know you're about to have a busy few weeks and we weren't supposed to leave until after. And now you'll have to visit another time."

"We'll take care of it, Ro. I'm sad I'll miss out. Don't forget to take the gift with you and let me know when you're there."

"She would've loved to see you. Next time then."

After a bit more chatter with Sasha over business plans and the baby, I end the call with a promise to keep him in the loop.

I'm not that good at packing on short notice. My brain keeps going to scary thoughts and when Perry comes to check on me, all I've accomplished is a pile of clothing on the bed.

"Hey, do you…Roman? What's wrong?"

My chest feels tight and maybe I might want to throw up and I can't breathe.

Sinking to the floor, I struggle to draw in breaths and fight the urge to scream.

Perry drops beside me, his large hand on my back.

"In through your nose, babe. Great job, and out through your mouth. Let's do that some more."

His gentle murmurs near my ear are more help than the breathing I think.

"I haven't had a panic attack for years. Years. Like…I think I was still in high school the last time."

"They can sneak up on you. But you recognized it and you dealt with it." His hand still smooths circles on my back and I inhale more deep breaths, feeling the grip of the anxiety seep away. "Be proud of yourself for recognizing it."

I smile. "Leave it to you to find something positive about me having a meltdown."

"Roman," He chastises, but his voice is like a hug and I turn to let him give me a real one. "You work so hard and so much. Don't be like that. You're human, and we all have tipping points." He kisses the top of my head and holds me closer. "You never let people help, I noticed. Maybe it's time to allow people to help you more."

"I let you help."

"You do, and I always will. But…"

Pulling away, I look up into his concerned face. "But?"

"It's nothing bad, but once we get back, I'd like for us to talk about how we can make your life easier."

I place a soft kiss on his lips.

"You're amazing, you know that? And sometimes I think you're far too good for me."

"I could say the same about you." He taps me to stand and after I'm up, he follows me.

"Let's get packed and on the road." He surveys the mess on the bed and tries not to smile. "If you need help with choosing, I can pick your outfits."

He plucks a pair of silk lounge pants off the pile. "These are my favourite when you wear one of my T-shirts with it." He holds up a pair of black dress pants. "These make your ass look so good and when you roll up your sleeves?" He bites his lip. "Damn."

"That's, uh, helpful. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now finish up so we can get on the road and stop at that burger joint I love on the highway before they close."

Perry smacks me on the ass with a grin and leaves me to the task. But I take several minutes to compose myself.

But he's right. Maybe I should make my life easier.