18. Perry

Call me crazy, but I think Roman might actually be open to the idea of liking me. While I offered him his fave drink, it's true, what he doesn't know is that I spent hours searching the internet for facts about Roman.

I like to come to battle prepared.

I scoured interviews or posts on his socials where he gave something personal away. He mentioned grapefruit slices as a child being a favourite and anything grapefruit flavoured. And he also mentioned his fondness for something most people don't like. Spinach dip with pumpernickel bread. It didn't go unnoticed that in a few photos, he was eating pistachios. I'd never tried them before and thankfully I like them.

After all these observations, sleuthing, and strategic questions with Sasha, I have most of his favourite foods to assemble for a couch picnic. They say a way to a man's heart is through his stomach. I'm willing to try anything to get Roman to open up to me again. The last few weeks we've dodged each other, but not without some genuine reasons. I know he's preparing for the business launch and I've been helping Leaf with the renos, so it's not overly disruptive for guests. Once June hits, the lodge will be fully booked and I'll work more to help as he needs me. I desperately want Roman and me to connect again before we get swept up in our busy working lives.

Finding him cleaning my shower tonight, though, was… odd. Maybe he's a neat freak, but I noticed the folded laundry on my dresser and while he could have done that for me out of politeness, the cleaning of my bathroom seemed a bit overboard.

Although so was me getting naked before he even left the room. I'm not opposed to fighting dirty to get what I want. I just hope it worked.

"Wild Discovery is over, but do you like National Geographic? They have a few episodes back-to-back. Oh! The first one is about ostriches!"

I bite my lip to keep the laugh in. I didn't peg Roman as a documentary nerd at all, but I love it. After assembling all my culinary finds on a tray, complete with tiny cheese spreaders and rose-printed napkins, I set the refilled drink glasses on the tray and return to Roman.

He's piled the blanket on the back of the couch and sits like I was with his feet on the table, but takes them down when he notices I have a tray.

"One new gin and tonic—with lime—and snacks, so you don't get tipsy on me."

"Oh, my god. Is that spinach dip? I love that stuff!" He dunks a cube of bread in the dip and closes his eyes as he chews. "That's delicious. Who made it?"

"The deli in the grocery store. They make a great crab dip, too."

His smile grows as he takes in the snacks and I hold my breath.

"These are all my favourites!" He narrows his eyes. "Did you squeeze Sasha for info?"

"Not really. I mean, he confirmed you prefer pistachios out of the shell for me and also as a gelato, but I couldn't find that. The rest I figured out on my own."

His lips part as he stares at me. Blue eyes soft on me as he drops his hands to his lap.

"How?"

Shifting next to him, I figure now's the time to just put it out there. He'll either think I'm a stalker or maybe see that the right person will walk the distance for him.

"Google. I read every interview you've given for at least six years. Then I looked at every photo and scrolled through…god, at least eight million comments on social media posts. I took a bunch of notes and then I asked Sasha a few questions."

"Why would you do that?"

His hands clasp and unclasp in his lap, and he focuses on the tray of snacks. I'd rather he focus on me.

"Roman." He turns to me and those gorgeous eyes I see every time I close my own carry a cautious hope. "Because you deserve it. And you weren't exactly forthcoming with any information on your own." I swallow and reach over to cup his cheek. "Because I want to know you. I actually like you Roman."

"But why? We're nothing but horrible to each other."

"Do you really think that? I don't. We push each other's buttons, but since the first time I kissed you in my kitchen, I knew that couldn't be all I ever have."

He pulls my hand away and slides as far as possible away. Squishing into the corner of the couch, his eyes now accuse me. How does this man flip his emotions so quickly?

"You told Sasha I slept with that couple at the lodge. You assumed it and told your best friend I was easy."

"I never said that! But you said nothing for me to think otherwise, Roman. You left to go to his room with him. Right in front of me."

That was the moment I knew I was in deep. It physically hurt when he turned his back and walked away with another man.

"Not that you need to know, but we talked. He gave me his business card and could help with the company. I didn't sleep with him and his fiancé—even though they wanted to, I might add."

He takes a drink from his glass with a mutter, and my anger grows.

"That's not fair to be mad at me for assuming what you wanted me to! Are you going to tell me the guy in the bathroom that night at the Maple Festival was all a lie, too?"

He says nothing, but I notice the small flinch and his fingers tighten on the glass.

"Why would you mislead me like that? What purpose did it serve trying to make me think the worst of you? Jesus, Roman. That's extreme, even for you."

"Because of this! That's why! I didn't want you to like me!"

I'm so damn confused. Setting my drink down, I reach for his hand, but he jumps up.

"Don't, Perry." His voice drops to a whisper, and I choose to ignore his request. Stepping into his space, I place my hands on his face, forcing him to listen and he doesn't fight, but I know that look in his eyes.

"Why are you so scared? I'm not a bad guy, Roman."

"Because it hurts when you lose people you love and I don't want to do that. I never want to feel that again."

His gorgeous blues well up, but he blinks away the tears.

"Roman…that's no way to live, baby. You're such a beautiful person. You're funny and kind and fucking talented. Anyone you hold close is so lucky to have you." His lip trembles and I stroke it with my thumb. "I'm sorry you lost your parents like that and I'm sorry it's been hard for you to cope all these years. But I can help you. We can help each other."

"I don't know if I can."

"But you've never tried, have you?"

He inhales a shaky breath. "What if you change your mind? Or something happens to you?"

"I won't feed you a bunch of bullshit and promise you that won't happen. Nobody knows what the future brings. Look at my brother. His husband never came home one night, all because of a freak accident like your parents. Yeah, it hurt all of us to lose him but, Roman…we're all so much better having known his affection. Even me."

He stays silent and I'm willing the gods to let me slide through the crack in the door. Just let me get in. I know once he lets himself accept love from a partner, he'll only grow more beautiful. Because he captured my attention the moment I saw him. Even spitting insults at each other, he was still desirable.

From his beautiful eyes and his sexy-as-hell corsets to his verbal sparring. I was falling.

"You even peeled the grapefruit for me." His voice is soft as one hand grips my wrist.

"I'll peel every grapefruit for you if you want me to."

His eyelids flutter closed, and he blows out a long breath.

"If we try this…this thing. Dating. I don't even know what to call it. But if we try this, Perry, I need one promise from you. Well, two actually."

"Name it."

"Don't break my heart."

His words quiver, but his grip on my wrist tightens.

"I'll wrap it in bubble wrap and keep it safe. I don't want it broken. I want it whole."

He swallows and opens his eyes again. This is the look I always want from him. Trust. Desire. Naked vulnerability that I'll never abuse.

"Second, keep walking around here without a shirt on. I think it inspires my best designs."

He smiles as he steps closer to me, and I huff a small laugh. "Am I your muse?"

"I think so."

"Can I start this dating thing off and kiss you?"

"I sure hope you plan to do more than kiss me."

He bites his lip and steps away from me, blue eyes playful, and again I'm captivated by how much he says with a single glance. "If you can catch me!"

The little imp laughs and runs towards my bedroom and the joy I feel for him showing me the real Roman propels me to chase after him. He hasn't made it very far before I wrap my arms around his waist and pull him to a stop against my chest.

"Dammit, I didn't think you'd be that fast." He laughs as I spin us and push him against the wall in the hallway.

"I'm lightning fast when I'm chasing something I want." My lips trail down his neck and he slumps against the wall. "And I want you Roman. All of you."

His hands slide into my hair as I drag my lips up to his.

"Show me how much."

His breathless words caress my skin and if he wants me to show him instead of talking, I hope he's prepared for what comes next.

Bending, I easily scoop him over my shoulder and, making sure I don't bash his head on the wall, I carry him the rest of the way to my bedroom.

I lay him on my bed gently before making quick work of my pants and the sleepwear Roman has on.

"You should really make your bed in the morning."

"Really? That's what's on your mind right now?"

His eyes sparkle and I chuckle. "You're such a shit."

"If you make your bed, you've started your day successfully. You've completed one task. It sets the mood for your day."

"I can't tell if you're serious or yanking my chain right now. I'm literally about to bury my face in your perfect peach of an ass and make you squirm. But you're going on about making my bed every morning."

His entire chest flushes a delightful pink, and he licks his lips.

"Nervous habit. Sorry. Carry on."

Lowering myself over him, I press my lips to his. Fuck, he feels so good against me, all naked and trembling.

"Relax, gorgeous. You asked me to show you how much I want you. Don't be afraid to ask me to stop, or for more, or anything really. I want you so drunk on the pleasure of what it feels like to be with me you can't think about anything else."

"Oh my god." He breathes as I move back to the end of the bed. After propping him on a pillow, I knead his ass with a groan. I can't wait to have Roman finally.

Neither can he. Roman lifts his legs and grips his thighs, allowing me better access.

"Jesus Christ, that's a sight I'll tattoo on my brain."

Keeping my word, I spread him open. Licking and swirling and fucking him with my tongue. He pants and moans underneath me. Pre-cum puddles on his abs and I internally preen over having been responsible for turning him into a needy mess.

"More."

Roman's voice is breathless and sure.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Opening my nightstand drawer, I get what I need and drop the bottle of lube and condoms next to him.

"That kind of more?"

He nods yes and reaches for me, pulling me closer to his lips.

"No one has topped me in a very long time. But yes. That's what I want." He kisses my throat. "From you."

And I'm left speechless for a moment. He's been so hot and cold and it's taken me so long to even get him to be here like this. Or maybe I'm making too big of a deal out of it.

"You don't have to—"

"I know." He caresses my cheek. "I know…I want you to, okay?"

I can't stop kissing him, and he wraps his arms around my neck, pulling me even closer. Our tongues dance together like they've been partners forever. I pull away briefly to reposition next to him and add lube to… well, everywhere. He hisses at the coolness, but it quickly turns to a moan when I push a finger in.

He rocks against my hand and slowly strokes his dick. This is not a rushed fuck me and get it over with. It's exactly what I wanted to do, and it's me giving him pleasure. Worshipping everything about him. He's absolutely stunning like this.

I tease his hardened nipple as I add another finger, and he gasps, the most beautiful sound.

"Oh…oh…"

"Yeah, gorgeous. Just like that. Let me hear how much you love it."

"Perry…god…" He keens as I slip the third one in and I press my mouth to his.

"Feels so good." He mumbles against my lips. "So good."

Our kisses are fevered as he rocks on my fingers. His gasps of pleasure are what I live for, and I want him to make those same sounds when I'm buried inside him.

"I need to be in you, babe."

His hands slap around the bed for the condoms while he chases after my lips.

"Fuck, yes." While I suit up, we share small smiles that say so much. It's trust, desire, and an unspoken feeling that this is just the beginning.

Taking my time, I ease myself into him. Swallowing all his moans and committing every sigh, every touch to memory. By the time I'm all the way seated, it feels like I might explode with the next movement. Roman's hands pull my face to his and he kisses me, but it's different. It's slow and lazy, like he wants to savour this moment just as much as I do. His hands tremble as they slide down my back, and he wraps his lean legs around me.

"Are you okay, baby?"

"I think so." He bites at my lip before mumbling against mine. "I've never felt like this before."

I rock my hips with an ease I don't feel. I want to make him see stars. To bend him over the side of the bed… but I also want to stay here just like this and wish this moment would never end.

His sighs of pleasure keep me moving at the sedate pace. It's like this weird bubble of time where all I see is Roman and what could happen in the future. Everything flashes in front of me. Dancing in the kitchen, modelling for him when he wants, taking him to the lake, and eating spinach dip while watching animal documentaries late into the night. Maybe we'll get a pet. I don't even know if he likes animals. We'll hang out with Leaf and Sasha, and it won't be awkward.

He can be the centre of my entire world.

"Hey, you drifted away there." He pulls me to him, forcing his heels into my thighs with a grin. "Don't make me think I'm a bore in the sheets."

"Sorry. I was just thinking about what happens after this and how I don't want right now to be over."

Roman lets that loaded statement slide and I'm grateful.

"I only want right now to be over because you've edged me too long and I want to come."

He still grips me tight to him and I interpret that as him not wanting to change positions. It makes it difficult to thrust how I want, but he's clearly enjoying it. And to be honest, I am too. I've always enjoyed face-to-face sex because part of my pleasure is watching my partner. And Roman is too beautiful to look away from.

"Just…yeah…that's the spot…fuck…"

Again, his fingers curl into my hair and his breath puffs across my lips with every snap of my hips.

"Come for me, baby. I'm so close."

"Perry…fuck!"

Roman's body arches and then goes boneless as he shoots his load between us. His legs drop away from my waist and I use the moment to push up and take him harder. Those blue eyes snap open and he clutches my wrists as I come with a shaky groan.

God damn.

Easing out, I tie the condom off and I should toss it right away, but I drop it on the floor and pull him to me. Sweat-slicked and covered in cum is a good look for Roman, and I know I could easily make this a nightly habit.

"Since you cleaned my shower so nicely earlier, would you like to join me there?"

"I did a good job, didn't I?" His eyes drop, and he shifts, but I grip him close.

"What's wrong?"

Several moments pass and I think he won't give me a reply, but he does.

And it shocks the fuck out of me.

"You liked this, right? Did you…" He laughs, but it's not humour-filled. "Like…is this how it always is with you?"

"I loved it. I don't know what you have to compare it to, but yeah, I'm always like this. Although I'm not sure what you're getting at."

He laughs and places a kiss on my forehead.

"That's all I need to know. Let's take that shower."