19. Roman

"Earth to Roman. Hello?"

Sasha laughs as he waves his hand in front of my face.

"Sorry. I zoned out."

"I know. I was asking if you're happy with the photo setup before we greet the public."

Sasha arranged a launch party for the business in the smallest of time frames, and I'm still in awe. He wasn't even upset that I changed my mind about it and made extra work. After he submitted all the edited images, I got to work uploading everything to the site while he worked magic and called in favours around the globe.

"Yeah, it looks great. I'm not sure how Perry will take this."

After all, it's me splashed around the room in various states of undress and provocative as fuck. Which I'm not ashamed of. It's my job. But we've never discussed it because we've been too busy fucking like rabbits every night when he gets home and sometimes in the morning before he leaves.

"Hmm, when are you going to tell me why you care about his opinion about this?"

Right. That.

"Uh, you probably already guessed, but we're seeing each other. Dating? Is that what it's called still? I've never dated, so I don't really know."

Sasha's eyes twinkle, and he bumps his shoulder to mine.

"I guessed something was up. You two aren't exactly subtle. He almost kissed you goodbye the other morning and don't think I haven't noticed how both of you seem to conveniently be unavailable at the same time."

"Sorry, I didn't tell you right away. It's just fucking odd for me. And it only just occurred to me now we've never really talked about how he feels about me showing myself to the world. Yes, he knows I model, and he's looked me up online himself, but he's never told me how he feels about it."

If he were to say he had an issue with it, I'd have to break my heart myself and let him go. I won't and can't give this part of me up.

"My guess is he's proud as hell to say you're his."

"Do you think so? He's not the jealous type?"

"Perry? No. I mean, he'll stake a claim, I have no doubt, but it's not like he'll be telling you to quit or anything. He'll be your biggest supporter, Ro. I can guarantee it."

"He's not like anyone I've ever met. Or been with."

I've been with many people in a purely sex-only way. There's been no one I've ever shared what I share with Perry. It's a foreign land for me.

"He wears his heart on his sleeve. He won't ever be anything less than honest with you. If he has a problem, he'll tell you."

My lips curl in a smile as I remember how he bitched me out because I cleaned the bathroom for him. Again. He wasn't unhappy. He just doesn't want me to do those things all the time. But then I get to watch him strip and it's kind of win-win.

"I can believe that."

Perry hasn't held back his thoughts at all since I made the choice to try what he said. To let someone love me. Not that Perry loves me yet, but he's so intense I feel like it's just a step away. I don't love him yet either, but what I feel is unlike anything I can describe.

It's as foreign as another language and scary because, like a language, I can get it wrong. I can say the wrong thing and I don't want to be wrong for him.

"You know, I'm going to say this to both of you because it applies. Don't hurt my friend, okay?" Sasha's smile is both happy and wistful. "You're both so much alike in ways you probably can't see yet. I don't want either of you to have a broken heart."

I scoff. "My heart would be the only one at risk. No one is declaring love just yet."

"That's right. Yet. It will be, Ro. I know you. And I know Perry. Neither of you can do anything halfway. But this is still new. Especially for you. How are you feeling about it?"

Walking away from Sasha's gaze, I adjust the samples of a lace tankini and boy shorts on the display. How I'm feeling is a heavy question right now.

"Good. I like what we have so far, and the bonus part is we're both sleeping better."

It's hard not to. Having him wrapped around me at night is the best sleep I've ever had. Even better than when I first moved in. And his nightmares have vanished for now, too.

"Well, I won't pry. But I see you both smiling more and that makes me happy." He pulls out his phone from his pocket. "Now, before we go home to get changed, I have a surprise."

He hands me a phone with a video message. It's his favourite band, Wayward Lane, sending their best wishes and all the success in the world. It's actually quite sweet… until they all moon us and tell us they're going commando until they can try a pair of my designs.

It is kind of cool to think famous rock stars want to wear my lingerie, and now I've seen their asses, so that's a bonus.

"You know all the people don't you, Sash?"

He smiles like it's no big deal and laughs.

"I can't wait for you to meet everyone tonight. It's going to be great!"

I've never turned down a party, but this last week with Perry at home with just us… I like it. And it's weird I'm wishing away my launch party in favour of snuggling on a couch eating spinach dip with a man who's increasingly less annoying.

With a sigh, I follow Sasha to his truck and he drops me off at home, wired and babbling the whole time about tonight. His excitement spreads to me and soon I'm just as excited and race into the house to get ready.

Securing the tie of my corset, I smooth the front and gaze in the mirror. Slim fit black dress pants, crisp white dress shirt and a black and white corset with silver accents and buttons. Before I leave, I'll finish it with my black blazer. It's no tux, but in my opinion, it's a million times better.

No shade to tuxes. On the right man, they're killer. But for me, a corset wins every time. I feel my sexiest and most badass when I wear one. Tonight I've even added a black tie with a pattern of silver flowers on it.

My phone chimes as I dab cologne behind my ear.

Perry:I'm running late. I'm so sorry, but I'll be there. Can you get a ride with Sasha?

Roman:If not, I can drive myself. Is everything okay?

Perry:More than okay. Just took longer than I thought. I'll be there soon.

Replying with a heart which is so not like me, I sigh with disappointment. I wanted for us to arrive together. I just wanted to… I don't know, walk in with a handsome man. It's hokey and all kinds of lame for me to even think shit like that, but Perry has made me believe, just a little, that I might like the thought of having a supportive partner.

It's foolish of me. And I should guard myself better, but it's hard to put off Perry. I really fucking like the guy, as much as I hate to admit it.

Texting Sasha, he answers that he and Leaf will pick me up and I wander out to the living room to wait. To stay busy, I tidy up and fluff the cushions on the couch. Perry left his shirt on the floor. With a head shake, I walk into his room and toss it down the laundry chute, all while wearing a smile on my face. A smile that only grows when I notice he made his bed.

Oh no.

My heart sort of thumps and I feel all floaty and… shit. Either I'm about to pass out because I haven't eaten yet today or that was an enormous wave of feelings.

"Ro! We're here!"

"Be right there!"

I'm saved from examining what the hell just happened here, thank god. It's a night of celebration, not of internal examinations on whether it's good or bad to develop feelings.

"Holy fuck, you look amazing." Sasha's gaze roams over me and he smirks. "Bring a stick. Men are gonna fall at your feet tonight for your attention dressed like that."

Grabbing my jacket, I shrug into it and button the single button.

"Well, you know I don't mind the attention. And you look pretty amazing too, Sash. Green is so hot on you."

His forest-green suit fits him like a glove and his eye makeup is gorgeous. In greens and golds to match his suit, he practically glows with happiness.

"Thank you. I couldn't wait to wear this. Almost didn't make it here. Leaf, he ah…you know. He likes it, too."

Sasha blushes with a laugh and again I feel like I'm in an invisible vise being squeezed so hard I just want to scream. But in a good way.

"Um, before we're surrounded by people tonight, Sasha, I just wanted to say thank you for believing in me. For being here…" My voice cracks and I shake my head.

"Don't make me ruin my makeup, Roman. I love you too and there's no one else I'd rather pursue this dream with. We're a great team."

We pull each other into a hug and I'm relieved he took the words out of my mouth.

"Yeah, what you said."

"C'mon. Let's get the party started. Well, it probably already has, but we should make an appearance."

After Leaf parks in the space saved outside the art gallery, he offers an arm to each of us.

"I am the luckiest guy here tonight, entering with you two. I'll be the envy of all the men."

"You already are, baby. The whole town knows how you won me over."

I chuckle as they tease each other back and forth, and I cast a glance behind us. Clouds have moved in and a nasty storm will be on us soon.

"Did Perry say how late he would be to you, Leaf? I thought he was with you today."

"Oh, he was. He, ah, had to leave for some errands, but he said he'd be here."

Leaf forces a smile and opens his mouth, but Sasha smacks a hand over it.

"He knows you're with Perry. Yes, Perry told him, and if he wants to, he'll talk to you again after Perry arrives. Right, baby?"

Leaf nods and I raise an eyebrow at Sasha.

"He'll be here. Don't worry."

And there's no more time to think or discuss it because we've arrived at the glass doors to our reception room and it's already full of people. Malcolm from the bookstore sees us and rushes over as we step inside.

"I want to be the first to congratulate you both! Roman, your work is amazing. I've never been into lingerie, but wow…I might change my mind. You two have a lot of handshaking and shmoozing to do." He air kisses both of us and shakes Leaf's hand before he fades into the crowd with a promise to keep things running while we just have fun.

"What the hell did you do, Sasha? I was expecting a few dozen people throughout the evening. There's already at least a hundred here."

Malcolm appears again with a glass for each of us. Mine is grapefruit gin and tonic water with pieces of lime and grapefruit floating and Sasha has champagne.

"I told you. I know people and I invited them."

"I didn't know you had so many connections," I whisper as someone calls for attention and Sasha grabs my hand.

"You're about to find out, Ro."

He pulls me up to the microphone, where Leaf is still speaking, and I survey the crowd. I recognize some of the local business owners, which is nice. A familiar face peeks through the crowd and I shake my head.

"Please give a warm welcome to Sasha and Roman. Stay as long as you like and please enjoy the refreshments."

The crowd erupts with clapping, and I lean over to speak in Sasha's ear.

"You asked Bruce to come?"

"He"s a very interested business contact, Ro. And you're friends, aren't you?"

"Yeah, but…"

I don't get to finish the sentence because the first group of well-wishers is in front of us and we're smiling and posing for pictures. Sasha and I are used to this. It's effortless really, just another red carpet walk.

"You came!" He squeals and hands me his empty glass. A group of familiar faces appear and Sasha hugs them all, of course. I didn't recognize them at first without their cowboy hats.

"Ro, you remember Alec and Zane, right?"

The cowboys we spent an eventful weekend with a few years ago. That was a fun time.

"Of course I do. What brings you two here? Surely not just to attend this tiny party."

Alec shakes my hand, his blue eyes bright as he gazes at Zane.

"Well, this one here missed Sasha, and I was down for a fast road trip before the ranch gets too busy." He leans closer. "And Sasha sent me some pics of your stuff. Is there, uh, a way to get some of those in red?"

"Oh yes. Red is a popular colour request. I'll have white, black, red and pink for sure."

"Excellent." He catches Zane's eye again and winks. "I'll tell him. You two enjoy your night and we'll catch up later. Great to see you again, Roman."

Sasha lets go of Zane and allows him to leave with his husband.

"I can't believe they came here. This is exciting! Leaf is fielding questions at the sign-up table. He said someone asked about inviting us to the huge pride festival in Montreal!"

"Wow. This is…more than I expected."

When Leaf appears with fresh drinks for us, I can't help it and tug at his hand.

"Have you heard from Perry?"

He squeezes my arm gently.

"He said he'd be here. Maybe he got stuck in traffic."

"It's a town of 10,000 people. There's no traffic to get stuck in at 7 P.M." Leaf's eyes widen and then it clicks. "Where did he go, Leaf?"

"He'll be here, Roman. I promise. He wouldn't miss this for anything."

Leaf weaves out of the crowd and my mood turns sour. We've been here an hour already, and he promised. He promised! I don't do relationships for this reason. Well, it"s one of the reasons. You just get let down.

"Hey," I lean over to Sasha's ear. "I'm going to step out for a break. I'll be back."

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just need some air."

I walk to the back of the room, where there's a door to a small, covered patio. Since this is the main wedding reception venue in town, the little patio is a perfect cocktail hour gathering place. A light rain patters on the tin roof and I look over the town below.

Now is not a great time for me to unpack the disappointment over Perry being late. I'm not quite ready to accept that it's because I care and there are big feelings growing. Yet here I am, hiding from my party in a mopey mess while it rains. It's a little too cliché, even for me.

Thunder rolls in the distance and serves to match the mess of emotions swirling in me.

The door opens behind me and the chatter from inside spills out into the night quiet.

"I'm fine. Just give me a few more minutes."

"Why would you not be fine?"

Perry's deep, rumbling voice has me spinning around. And then almost fall flat on my face.

My mouth moves, but no words come out and his plush lips tilt in a grin as he watches me.

"You…you're…wow."

He chuckles low and steps closer.

"So, I did good? I'm sorry I was late, but the tux rental place had nothing in my size and if I went to the city, I could pick it up. I wanted this one."

My mouth gapes more. "You went to the city for a tux?"

"Well, I went to the city for you. I wanted to wear something, so I didn't stand out with your crowd. You like it?"

"You look amazing. And you'd stand out no matter what, Perry. It doesn't matter what you wear." I can't take my eyes off him. "You're not wearing any plaid."

He points a shiny black dress shoe forward and pulls up his pant leg to reveal a pair of plaid socks.

"Almost. I couldn't take the whole country boy thing away." He steps closer and places a hand on my hip. "I'm sorry I'm so late. I wanted to be here and walk in with you if you'd let me. But I also didn't want to embarrass you."

"You wouldn't embarrass me. Ever."

He smiles, the mischief twinkling in his eyes. "So it's okay if I get the dress Crocs out of the truck instead?"

"Absolutely not."

He laughs and I've drifted closer on my own. His giant hands hold my hips and mine come up to fiddle with his tie.

"You look absolutely amazing, Roman." One of his hands sneaks under my jacket and slides up my side. "This might be my favourite corset yet."

"Thank you."

And I don't know what else to say. I've run out of snark. I want to melt into a puddle at his feet because he went out of his way to please me. He showed up and all my dark musings disappeared because he was here.

And it all kind of falls into place. Without a doubt, I'm falling in love with Perry.

And I don't know how to handle that.