Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

The sounds of people moving through the house had Lilith tossing back the covers and standing. Sleep had been elusive. The bed was firm and comfortable. The sheets soft against her skin. The low hum of the air conditioner. All sensations and sounds she wasn’t used to. The bed she’d laid on at the compound had been hard, and all she’d had to cover her was a scratchy blanket and a sheet that would be better off burned than covering a person’s body.

Her stomach grumbled, reminding her she’d refused Cass’s offer of food the previous evening. After she’d taken a shower and washed her hair three times, she hadn’t wanted to face the people who’d opened their home to her.

It was extremely rude of her, but she hoped they’d understand that she needed time to get used to being in a house that had glass in the windows. Air conditioning. A place that didn’t have the lingering scent of her body odor clinging to the air.

She couldn’t hide in her room all day. She was used to staying busy. But today was the start of her new life, and Lilith had nothing to do. But she couldn’t stay here and impose on Cass and Irish’s generosity.

Walking over to the pile of clothes, she rummaged through, until she picked out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Whoever had told Cass her size had been pretty spot on. They fit her well, if not a little loose around the waist. Women like her hadn’t been allowed big servings of food on the compound. After a while, her body had gotten used to the minimal amount she ate, and the extra weight she’d gained while living by herself fell away. Now that she was out, she should learn to cook. Another reason money had been tight was because her skills in the kitchen were non-existent, so she’d survived by ordering out most nights. She would buy enough to last her a few nights, but it all added up. Or the cook at the diner she’d worked at would save her a plate of the day’s special on the nights she worked there.

Did anyone question her whereabouts when she hadn’t turned up for her shifts at her jobs? Or did they just think she’d decided she wouldn’t work there anymore?

“What does it matter?” she muttered out loud. “This time will be different.”

If she kept saying those five words enough , she may believe it herself.

Satisfied with her appearance, she opened the door and followed her nose to the kitchen, where Irish stood at the stove. He turned to her when she paused in the doorway.

“Morning. How do you like your eggs? Sunny side up, over easy, or over hard?”

Lilith stared at him, words lodged in her throat. In her whole life, she’d never seen a man cooking in his own home. She’d gone from a cult where women did everything, to living by herself where she did everything, to living in another cult where—you guessed it—women did everything.

“Umm, I don’t know.”

Irish’s brow furrowed, and she stepped back a little. This was a man you didn’t mess with. “You don’t like eggs?”

Lilith shook her head. “It’s not that. It’s just, I don’t know what you mean when you say that. The only eggs I’ve ever had are scrambled. And then they were always watery and disgusting, so I never ate them.”

“I can do scrambled for you if you’d prefer. And I promise you they won’t be watery.” He smiled, and his entire demeanor changed. Gone was the fierce man, and in its place was someone she felt she could trust. Which was totally unusual because she didn’t trust easily.

“No, I don’t want you to go to any trouble. I’ll have whatever style of egg you eat.”

“Trust me, Irish will give you whatever you want. He loves to cook.” Cass walked into the room, straight to her husband, who hooked an arm around her waist and kissed her on the lips. The kiss was gentle and sweet, and Lilith looked away. Again, she’d never seen this open affection between a man and a woman. Her parents hadn’t acted that way toward each other. She could count on one hand the amount of times they kissed each other. Unless they did it when she wasn’t near them.

“I don’t love to cook. I do it because I have to eat, and breakfast is the only meal I cook,” he grumbled.

Cass laughed and sat down at the table. “Come sit, Lilith. Can I get you something to drink? Orange juice? Coffee? Water? Milk?”

Were these people for real? Yes, she was being a little cynical, but after what she’d been through, could she be blamed if she didn’t trust what she was seeing?

“Umm, water will be fine,” she said after a moment, still standing in the doorway.

“Okay.” Cass stood and walked to the fridge, brushing her hand across Irish’s shoulder as she passed him.

An unexpected yearning flared to life inside of Lilith. She wanted that. Wanted someone who was happy to see her. Wanted to touch her with affection, not anger. She was tired of being treated as if she were worthless. Then again, she hadn’t done herself any favors with the decisions she’d made, so it wasn’t a surprise that she had been treated badly.

“Here you go.” Cass held out a bottle of water for her.

“Thanks.” Lilith took and twisted the cap off before taking a couple of swallows. The cool liquid slid down her throat, and she relished the taste of non-boiled water. That had been all she’d been allowed to drink in the last year.

Irish placed a plate on the table. There was some bacon and two eggs on the plate. “I made your eggs over hard. That means the yolk is cooked all the way through. Seeing as you’ve only ever had scrambled eggs, I figured this was probably the best way to cook them for you.”

“Thanks.” If she wanted to eat, she had to walk into the sunny, welcoming room and sit down. Something she’d been avoiding doing, and she wasn’t sure why. Eating around people wasn’t what she was used to. But she wasn’t at the commune anymore. She was free. Free to do whatever she wanted. If she wanted to sit on the floor and eat, she could—even though that idea didn’t appeal. Because she’d done that so many times in the past, it would be the norm for her. Not something new like sitting down at a table she’d been invited to.

Neither Cass nor Irish said anything. Thankfully, they let her move at her own pace.

Why couldn’t she be normal? Why couldn’t she accept this hospitality?

Because she was so used to everything having strings attached. Nothing had been given to her freely. Even during the short time she’d been out in the big world, there had been opportunities she could’ve had, if only she’d given more of herself.

But that was in the past. She wouldn’t allow anything to intimidate her now, especially not a plate of food.

With that determination firing through her, she pulled out the chair and sat down. No one spoke while they ate. Although she imagined neither Cass nor Irish were normally this quiet during meals, so she appreciated their consideration.

“Those eggs were good.” She finally broke the silence because the least she could do was thank Irish for taking the trouble to cook for her. “Can I help clean up?” she asked as she stood and picked up her plate.

“It’s not necessary. You’re a guest,” Cass responded.

“An unexpected and possibly unwanted one,” Lilith said.”

Cass stood and came over to where she still stood, holding her plate. “You can stop thinking like that right now. Yes, having you is unexpected, but not unwanted. After what you’ve been through, you need a safe place, and this is it for you. You can stay as long as you want.”

The vehemence in Cass’s tone convinced Lilith she meant it. “Thank you.”

She wanted to say more, but knew if she did, she could offend them, because right now, she feared she would say words she couldn’t take back.

The next few minutes passed without conversation as she kept her word and cleaned up, even though Cass said she didn’t have to. She planned to contribute as much as she could.

While she was stacking the dishwasher, Irish was on his phone, glancing up occasionally. It should’ve made her uncomfortable having his attention on her, but strangely it didn’t because he wasn’t leering at her like one of the men from the cult, even though they hadn’t acted on those looks—which she had been extremely happy about.

“What are your plans for the day?” Irish asked, as he placed his phone on the table in front of him.

It hit her then that she didn’t have to rush outside and tend to the garden. Didn’t have to worry about getting on the bad side of men like Micah or Staunton. If she wanted to do nothing, she could. “I’m not sure. I should go to the bank and see if my account is still active. There’s not much in there, but I might have enough to have a deposit for an apartment. Not that it would be a fancy place, but it would be my own. Then I should look at trying to get a job to pay for it.”

Lilith clamped her mouth shut when Irish’s brow furrowed deeper the more she spoke. “There’s no rush,” he said gruffly. “Cass can check your bank account, save you a trip. Which bank has your account?”

“First National, but how can she do that? She doesn’t work there. She works at Alliez, right?” Lilith shifted her attention to Cass, who was tapping on her phone screen.

“I do work there, and your bank account is still active.”

“What? How do you know that?” Fear flowed through Lilith. Had she jumped from one controlling person to another? Although that didn’t seem right, but the fact that Cass could find out about her bank account scared her. What else could she do?

“Shit,” Cass came up and placed her hand on her arm. “I’m so sorry, Lilith. I didn’t have any right to delve into your private matters without asking your permission first. It’s no excuse, but I made an error of judgment. I work intensively with computers and could access the bank’s database and find your name.”

“She’s a computer genius,” Irish interrupted.

Cass smiled softly at Irish before turning her attention back to Lilith, her expression becoming intense. “Seriously, though, what I did was wrong. You’ve had so many choices taken away from you, and I just took another one away. I saw your account was still active. Still, it was wrong of me to do that. I apologize again.”

Lilith’s mind whirled at all the information given to her. It was a lot to process, but what struck her the most was how quickly Cass could get her details. What else could she find out?

Did that mean the things Alliez did were illegal? Although, if that were the case, did Julian and the FBI know? It seemed unlikely that a government agency would be happy with illegal practices. Then again, what did she really know? Her whole life, she’d lived under a rock when it came to things like that , and even though she’d tried to learn as much as she could the brief time she lived by herself, it was impossible to learn everything.

“Lilith? Are you okay?” Cass’s voice broke through her running thoughts.

“I don’t know. It’s all a bit much,” she said truthfully.

“I’m sorry. I really shouldn’t have done that.” The sadness in Cass’s eyes hit Lilith. It wasn’t fake. Cass wasn’t playing with Lilith. She genuinely felt bad for what she’d done.

“You didn’t happen to see if someone deposited a butt load of money in my account so I don’t have to work now, did you?” Lilith surprised herself with her light-hearted response.

Cass blinked twice before she laughed. “I wish I could say yes, but . . .” She shrugged, and Lilith got the message that her bank account balance was as pathetic as the thought it was.

The doorbell rang, and Lilith stilled. Her instinct was to run and hide because what if the police were on the other side of the door and wanted to take her back? What if one of the men had escaped the FBI and had followed her and now were making their move?

“It’s okay. It’s Julian,” Irish stated, as if he could read her mind.

Julian! Is that any better?

She wanted to yell, but kept the words locked down.

“I don’t know everything that happened between you and Julian in the past, but if we didn’t think you’d be safe around him, we wouldn’t let him in.”

Lilith nodded and smiled, hoping that it didn’t look as strained as it felt. She had to remember that these people knew a different Julian than the one she’d known. It was possible he could’ve changed over the years. After all, he had been part of the team that had brought down Staunton Rello and his sick cult.

A second later, Julian appeared in the kitchen doorway. He had a folder in his hand and dark bags under his eyes.

Had sleep been elusive for him, like it had been for her last night?

“Hey, Lilith, you good?” His voice was gravelly and sent a shiver rippling down her spine, and she didn’t know what to make of it. She shouldn’t be reacting to him. Not after everything she’d been through and what he’d done to her in the past.

Yet she was.

“I’m okay. What are you doing here?”

Julian held the folder out he was holding. “I came to give you these.”

Lilith stared at the folder as if he were holding out a jar of venomous spiders, who, with one bite, could render a person paralyzed, or worse—dead. “What is it?”

Julian, as if sensing she wouldn’t take it from him, placed the folder on the kitchen table. “It’s who you are.”

Well, if that wasn’t cryptic, she didn’t know what was. Remembering her edict from earlier, the one where she was going to take this new opportunity and push it in her own direction, she sat at the table and pulled it toward her. It took her a couple of seconds to open, but when she did, she stared at the contents.

In front of her were the things she believed she’d never see again. The items that identified her as more than just a sister in the eyes of Staunton Rello and the members of The Hopeful Sunshine.

Without thinking, she picked up her driver’s license. One thing she had achieved during her short time out in the world. She hadn’t had it for long before she’d landed at the cult, but she had thought it would be the start of new things for her.

She put it down and then looked at the debit card from her bank. There was nothing else in the folder, just those two things.

The total sum of her life.