Chapter 5

Chapter Five

What am I doing here?

The thought bounced around her mind as Lilith stood in a bedroom with an attached bathroom where she could have a shower with hot water, something she hadn’t had in a long time.

The last couple of hours had been a blur. Irish had personally taken her to the facility where all the other women and children were. He hadn’t pushed her onto one of the buses, like she thought he might. Instead, he’d lead her to his car. They hadn’t talked much on the drive to the large warehouse, and since she hadn’t been allowed to talk to men in a long time, Lilith had leaned against the window and watched the scenery as it zoomed by.

The noise when they’d walked into the building had been too much for her. Women wailed that they wanted to go back. Children cried because their mothers were. Other women sobbed in happiness that they were finally free. It had been so overwhelming she’d frozen in the doorway, unable to walk in. From her past experience, she knew that while the authorities tried to do the right thing, they were stretched thin and tired themselves, and after having to deal with all the emotions from the rescued women, eventually their patience ran out and instead of doing what they’d done for the first fifty women, they did the bare minimum so they could get away from it all.

Lilith didn’t blame them, but she didn’t want to be disregarded again. She’d been there, done it once before, and given that she’d been given a second chance to not screw up her life, she was going to take it.

As though Irish had picked up on her calamitous thoughts, he’d cupped her elbow and taken her outside. So frozen in her panic, Lilith didn’t notice that he’d touched her. It wasn’t until he’d called her name for the third time that she snapped out of it, and when he’d asked if she’d wanted to go somewhere else, she’d readily agreed, instinctively trusting he wouldn’t take her somewhere dangerous.

What she hadn’t expected was to be taken to his house. His wife was warm and welcoming, and had shown her to the room she now stood in.

On the queen bed were clothes with price tags. How had Cass managed to get them in the short time between them leaving the facility and arriving? Either way, she was grateful. She vaguely recalled Irish texting furiously before they left, so presumably it was to let his wife know he was bringing home a complete stranger and that she needed clothes. A request Cass had answered without question.

Who did that?

Who immediately opened their home to a woman they’d known for only a few hours? A woman who’d gotten suckered into yet another cult.

A soft tap on the door pulled Lilith from her thoughts, and she turned to Cass standing in the doorway, a gentle smile on her face. “You doing okay?” the woman asked.

Lilith opened her mouth and then closed it again, not sure what to say. For so long, any conversation between her and another woman had been brief. The interactions certainly didn’t have the hint of compassion she could hear in Cass’s voice. “I don’t know.”

The words burst out, and there was nothing but honesty in them, because Lilith didn’t know if she was doing okay. She didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know what to feel.

“Is it okay if I come in?”

Again, someone asking if it was okay to enter Lilith’s space. She couldn’t very well tell Cass that no, she couldn’t come in. No way did she have any control of a house she was a guest in. “It’s your house. You don’t have to ask.”

“Yes, I do.”

Confusion swamped Lilith. “Why are you doing this?” She voiced her thoughts.

“Doing what?”

Lilith waved her hand around the room. “This. Letting me stay here. Buying me clothes. You don’t know me.”

“Because you need help and Irish brought you here, and you know Julian.”

She straightened her spine at the way Cass said Julian’s name. It shouldn’t be a surprise that the woman knew him. After all, her husband worked with the man. Or at least knew him. Irish hadn’t been wearing anything with FBI blazoned all over it. “How do you know Julian?” Lilith fired back.

“We’ve worked together for a while now.”

“You work for the FBI, too?”

“No, I work for Alliez Security.”

“Wait. Who are Alliez, and why are they working with the FBI?” Obviously, Irish must work for this security group. Didn’t the FBI usually work just by themselves, or with another government agency?

It was all too confusing for her. All these companies and agencies. She’d tried to absorb as much as possible during the year she’d been living by herself after Freedom and Love dissolved.

She knew nothing. Her education had been basic, which was why she could only get waitressing jobs. Not having a recognized education had been a major downfall for her, and she was far too old now to go back to school to further her knowledge. By the time she’d finished, she would be too old to be employed by a big company.

Lilith flopped down on the bed as realization sunk in that she had nothing to look forward to. Life was always going to be hard. A yearning she never thought she’d experience threatened to drown her. A yearning to go back to Freedom and Love or The Hopeful Sunshine. At least there, she’d known her place. How she belonged in the grand scheme of things. It may have sucked, but she hadn’t had to worry about paying rent to keep a roof over her head, no matter how awful that roof may be.

“It’s going to be okay, Lilith. Whatever’s going through your mind, we’ll find a solution.”

Cass may have thought her words meant well, but they didn’t. The assertion that “we’ll find a solution” indicated that Lilith had people who would help her.

She didn’t.

She never had anyone looking out for her or helping her. Nearly everyone in her whole life had used her for menial tasks, or expected better of her than she could achieve.

“Why? Why would you want to help me? Someone you’ve never met. Someone you don’t even know. What is it you want from me?!” Lilith was yelling by the time she’d finished. If they kicked her out, it was deserved, but she didn’t know how to deal with all of this.

A bed that was soft.

New clothes.

A house that had wood floors, not sand. Where there weren’t bugs crawling over the walls. Her apartment from before The Hopeful Sunshine had been little better than the hut she’d lived in.

“Everything good here, Alistronia ?”

Lilith looked up and found Irish standing in the doorway, his blue eyes intense as he looked between her and Cass.

“It’s all good.” Cass patted her husband’s arm. She didn’t even looked freaked out at Lilith’s outburst. In fact, she looked as serene as she had been when she’d first appeared at Lilith’s door.

“You got this?” he asked his wife quietly.

“I do. Go, we’ll be fine.”

Again, Lilith couldn’t believe Cass wasn’t grabbing her and throwing her out the front door. She didn’t deserve their kindness. It didn’t matter if they believed Julian knew her. He didn’t. Not really.

“I’m sorry,” Lilith whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

The bed dipped a little as Cass sat next to her. Not touching but letting her know she was nearby. “You have nothing to be sorry for. You’ve been through a lot. And here you are, in a place with people you’ve never met. People who you have no reason to trust. We should’ve done better to prove you’re safe here. That you won’t be hurt. If you don’t want to stay here, then we’ll take you somewhere else. Do you have family here who might be missing you?”

Lilith snorted at the last question. “My family don’t care about me. They wouldn’t even know that I’ve been missing for the last year.”

“Friends then. Is there someone I can contact for you?”

“There’s no one. I’ve lived in cults since I was two. One year I had out in the big wide world, and even then, I couldn’t cope and got sucked back into another cult. So, yeah, no one cares what happens to me. I could die, and no one would even bat an eyelid that Lilith Kenny was no longer breathing.”

“I would.”

Lilith froze when she heard Julian’s voice. How did all these people manage to come to the room without her knowing or hearing their approach?

At The Hopeful Sunshine, she’d tried to be aware of her surroundings. Unawareness could’ve put her in danger. But here, people kept coming up, and she had no idea.

What did that mean?

Nothing! It means nothing.

“I find that very hard to believe,” she responded to Julian’s decree. “I don’t mean to be rude, but can you all leave? I need to be alone.”

She was totally being rude, but she didn’t care. She did need to be alone. She wanted to shower. Wear something new.

“When you’re ready, we’ll be in the kitchen.” Cass got up, pausing in the doorway to give Julian a quick hug before disappearing down the hallway, leaving just the two of them. The second Cass disappeared, Lilith wanted to call her back.

No, she would not be weak. She wouldn’t lean on anyone. She could do this herself. This time, she would not fail. She’d been given a second chance—or was it a third chance?—to make something of her life, and she planned to grasp it with both hands. It didn’t matter that she had no plan. She had time to figure it out—at least a couple of days before she had to make any big decisions.

All Lilith knew was, this time was going to be different.

This time, she wouldn’t be sucked back into a life of servitude.