Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Everything in Julian wanted to rush over to Lilith and pull her into his arms. Tell her over and over that she was safe and that no one would hurt her ever again. Yet he didn’t have that right. He’d forfeited it when he’d spent half his life believing the lies of a man his parents had thought the world of.

Irish escorted Lilith out of the hut, leaving Julian alone to look at the space she’d lived in. It was dirty and the lingering smell of body odor hung in the air, but it didn’t detract from the fact that somehow, some way, she’d chosen this existence again.

He still didn’t know how Lilith had ended up here because he hadn’t been able to ask her.

Her hostility toward him wasn’t a surprise. It was what he deserved.

Lilith had caught his attention when he’d been walking around the Freedom and Love compound. She’d been sitting on the porch of the small house she and her family had lived in. She hadn’t seen him, but he’d been captivated by her beauty. He’d wanted to go up to her and talk to her. Find out if her laugh was melodic. If her skin was as soft to touch as it looked. Find out if her hair smelled like summer blossoms.

He’d never had those thoughts before when he’d looked at the women in the commune. Women and girls who had been chosen to become wives. At first, he didn’t understand what was causing him to think that way. Feel that way. Didn’t know that it was sexual attraction he was feeling toward Lilith.

The day he’d turned fifteen, he’d been taught that a woman’s place was to arouse a man using her mouth and tongue, then to lie back while he humped her until he reached his pleasure, then withdraw and tell her to leave him alone. It shamed him now that he'd used women like that. Had believed it was his right to treat them like they were nothing but a vessel for him and the other men to use, until Ralph decreed they were to be married.

He hadn’t known that touches between a man and woman were supposed to be mutual. Pleasurable. That the act of sex meant something, not as a duty or enjoyment and fulfillment for the man alone.

At the time , Julian had kept what he thought about Lilith to himself, but every chance he could, he watched her from afar.

During that time, his perspective had changed, and he knew what was happening to the women and girls around him was wrong. His parents were trying to force his sister back, and strangely, that hadn’t sat well with him. All he’d known was he couldn’t let it happen, so he’d used his privilege of coming and going from to the compound to contact the FBI and started the task of bringing Freedom and Love to its knees.

It was close to when the case with Rose and the FBI was building to a head that he’d found himself standing near Lilith, and he’d done what he never should’ve. He talked to her. At first, she hadn’t wanted to speak to him—she knew the rules—but he’d cajoled her into talking to him. He’d felt at peace, and he hadn’t had to be someone he was learning he wasn’t. At the time, he’d thought they hadn’t been seen, but they had. Ralph had questioned him about the encounter and reminded Julian of his standing in the commune, that Lilith was nothing but a useless woman. To his shame, he’d twisted their interaction so she was to blame for it, not him. Ralph had given him a look Julian hadn’t liked, and then announced that Julian was to be married, and to prove his worth to Freedom and Love, Ralph expected Julian to mete out a suitable punishment to Lilith.

That was when Julian had upped the timeline of bringing Freedom and Love down. He wasn’t going to marry the child that Ralph had picked out for him. Nor was he going to hurt Lilith.

And yet, he’d done just that: ignored her and walked away as she’d tried to talk to him. The devastation shining in her green eyes still haunted him to this day.

Julian sighed. Nothing good would come of standing there staring into space, recalling a past that should remain where it was. There were things he needed to do. Parts of his job that he couldn’t ignore. Irish would make sure that Lilith was taken care of. That she would be safe.

Turning his back on the hut, he trudged back up the hill to the house. Agents swarmed the area. Checking to make sure there were no bunkers or other places where people could hide and not be taken.

He reached the main house and walked to Staunton Rello’s office, where he ensured every ID or evidence was meticulously recorded and placed in folders with each person’s name on it. By the time he left, it was dark, and only a handful of agents remained in the vicinity.

“You did a good job, Bennington. Eliminated another asshole and gave people back their lives.” Mac Porter, the FBI Agent who headed the taskforce he was part of, slapped him on the back. “It was a good, clean raid. I like when that happens.”

“Yes, sir, I’m pleased it went well. Fox and the others from Alliez run a tight ship.”

Julian wanted to give credit where it was due. Sometimes when they didn’t have the guys from Alliez helping them out, things went a little off plan.

“They’re a good outfit. Now you go home and take a couple of days off.”

“Thanks, Mac, but I need to get make sure all this gets to the people it belongs too.” He pointed to the box containing files of information he’d gathered.

One specific file he wanted to deliver personally, but first, he had to find out where Lilith had gone.

“Leave it with me. I’ll drop it off at the area we’ve got set up for them. The team are processing them all now, getting their details. Once that’s completed, they can then pass this information on,” Mac said.

Julian studied his supervisor. This was the first time Mac had suggested Julian pass on the task to someone else. It was one he usually did. “Why?”

“Because you look like shit. I don’t know what went down here, but I saw you follow one of the women, something you don’t do. Do you know her? Is she a friend or family member?”

He wasn’t surprised Mac had seen him follow Lilith as she ran back to her hut. He had done nothing to hide the fact. “Something like that. She was part of Freedom and Love.”

Mac whistled low. “And she got caught up in another one. That’s either dumb luck, or a deliberate action to return to something familiar, like how some former prisoners will keep committing crimes because they feel more comfortable in jail than out in the real world where they have to fend for themselves. Where they have to cook meals, not just head to an area and get food.”

Julian didn’t like what Mac was insinuating, but he couldn’t dismiss it either. As bad as cults were, when they were all a person knew, having those rules and routines snatched away made for a difficult adjustment.

Is that what Lilith had been feeling when he’d dismantled the only home she’d ever known? She’d been with Freedom and Love since she was a toddler. Surviving in such a different world must have been hard.

“It’s a serious matter to consider. Perhaps we should look at programs that provide support to those who have spent their lives in cults. Give them the necessary tools to live in society again.”

Mac clapped him on the shoulder. “Son, I agree with you, but resources are stretched thin for the normal, everyday person. We can give them a list of places to reach out to, but we can’t force them to do it. It doesn’t make us any better than the people who controlled their lives previously.”

Julian blew out a breath. “True.”

“I recommend you head home and get some sleep, but I have a feeling that you’re likely to ignore that. So, all I’m going to say is think carefully about what you’re going to do next.”

With another slap on the shoulder, Mac wandered off, leaving Julian to stare at his retreating back. Through Julian’s time with the FBI, Mac had given him guidance, and when he’d needed it, fatherly advice. Mac had been the person he’d been put in contact with when he’d approached the FBI about trying to bring down Freedom and Love. He’d been Julian’s mentor throughout the whole thing, and when Julian had finally made some peace with his life and was ready to move on, Mac had encouraged him to join the taskforce he was setting in up in LA. Julian had, and he was grateful for the lifeline Mac had given him.

While his mentor may think he didn’t listen to his advice, Julian did. It was just with this case, he needed to make sure Lilith was okay. He wouldn’t let her fall through the cracks and end up caught in another cult again.

Gathering up the box, he made his way over to the vehicle he’d arrived in and dumped it in the back. Time to find where they’d taken all the women. They had a number of locations they used for occasions like this, and the one they had planned to utilize probably wouldn’t be big enough to cater to all the women and children they’d collected.

He caught the eye of an agent who was walking past. “Hey, Banner, where have the women and children been taken?”

“The Bakersfield facility.”

“Great, thanks.”

The agent gave him a chin lift before continuing to walk.

“You good, Julian?”

Julian turned to find Fox, Deal, Hound, and Jag walking toward him. “Yep, just getting ready to give back those women their identities.”

“Fuckers. I don’t get why any man thinks it’s okay to treat women like this. As if they’re nothing better than yesterday’s news. Assholes all need to be hung by their balls , ” Dalton “Jag” Jaeger ground out.

Julian tried not to take offense because he’d been one of those assholes that Jag had talked about. It didn’t matter that he’d turned his life around and had changed the way he thought about a lot of things. For a long time, he’d believed he was a class above the women surrounding him. “Couldn’t agree with you more, and I’m not making excuses, but even the men in the cult are as brainwashed as the women. They’re usually ones who have low self-esteem and can be easily manipulated with a few choice words and praise. Or they’re men who have grown up in the cult and know nothing better.”

“Was it like that for you?” Fox asked.

The guys who worked for Alliez knew his background. Knew what he’d done and how he’d gotten into the position he was now in with the FBI. “In a way. I was still a kid when my dad fell for what Ralph Williamson was sprouting. Even Mom was enamored by it all. It didn’t help that Ralph gave Dad a position in the leadership group. It was easy for me to be swayed to the way of Freedom and Love. I loved my dad. Admired him, so yeah, I believed everything he said, even though initially I thought it was weird. After a while, I forgot why I thought it was wrong and just went with it.”

“What changed your mind?” Deal crossed his arms. Julian had always got the impression that Deal hadn’t liked him much, and his defensive pose would suggest that.

“It’s hard to pinpoint one exact moment where my mind changed. It was a build-up of a lot of things and situations. Freedom and Love were known to the FBI. When I made contact, they were more than happy to help dissolve the group.”

He was saved from having to say more by the buzzing of his phone. He pulled it out to find a text message from Irish.

Lilith’s at our place for the night.

Julian read the message twice, making sure he hadn’t misread it the first time. “Why is she there?” he muttered.

“Problem?” Deal asked.

“No, not at all. Thanks for today. You make these operations so much smoother.” Julian wasn’t saying it to blow smoke up their asses. He meant it.

“Happy to rid the world of yet another asshole,” Fox said.

“Until the next one pops up,” Jag responded.

“Yep, as it’s often said, it’s like playing whack-a-mole with these guys. Get rid of one, and three more pop up.” When he got back to his desk, there would likely be another file waiting for him to investigate. It was how things rolled. “I’ll see you guys later.” Julian gave them a chin lift and climbed into his car.

Julian liked the guys from Alliez, enjoyed spending time with them when they weren’t on a mission, even Deal, when he wasn’t looking at him with mistrust. They worked well together and always went the extra mile to make sure whomever they rescued was okay. In a large group like the one they took down today, it was different, but for whatever reason, Irish had taken Lilith to their house, and Julian was determined to find out why.