Chapter 33

Madden

I can't believe it's happening. Damien and I have narrowed down our list of what we need to start organizing first for Peach Acres, and our next step is to get a full-scale design of the site and start on engineering. This is the main reason he wanted Penn on board. Without him, we're going to have to find someone we can hire for the job, but I've asked Damien to give me one last attempt at convincing him.

He might end up pissed off with me, especially when I tell him I'm thinking of taking a permanent role at Peach Acres once it's done, but it's a conversation we need to have anyway.

I texted Penn earlier to let him know we'd be hanging out this afternoon, and I stop to grab sandwiches on my way to pick him up. He brings towels, and I love that he can read my mind.

We pull up at Howell Beach, where it's a little busier with people stopping by after work and the heat of the day still lingering. Penn and I strip off before heading down to find a spot just for us. He lays out the towels, and I open the sandwiches, swapping his tomato for my pickles.

"Cheers," he says, taking his and tapping it against my own.

We eat, and it's peaceful, a familiar place that gives me all the vibes of home. I wonder if Peach Acres will ever feel like this for me.

"You're thinking really loud, by the way," Penn says. "That's usually my job."

I dust the crumbs off my hands. "So …"

His long inhale tells me he's preparing for the worst. I want to reassure him, but he actually might be.

I take his warm hand in mine. "I've been thinking a lot. When it comes to work and what I want out of life."

"Uh-oh."

I realize a second too late how that might sound. "It's nothing to do with us. We're solid. Still love you, and I'm not letting you go anywhere."

He laughs. "Okay, then anything else we can deal with. What is it?"

"Peach Acres will need someone to run it when it's done."

There's a split second before the implication of that sinks in. His eyebrows inch subtly higher, and his gaze leaves mine. "It will."

I know it's not a question, but I treat it like it is. "Yeah, and I thought that person could maybe be me."

"So … I mean …" He tugs his hand from mine and runs his fingers back over his hair. "I'm … how will that work?"

"The job?"

"With our business."

Of course he's going to make me spell it out for him. "Well, if I'm working there full-time, I … I wouldn't be able to keep working at Leaf It to Us."

Penn doesn't say anything.

"You can buy me out, obviously, or I'll do more with the admin side of things and stop drawing a wage. Plus, Lawns is going well, and …" I've run out of things to say. I can't keep listing positives when none of those make up for the fact that we agreed to do this together, and now I've decided to jump ship.

He doesn't take it easy on me and say anything, so I force myself to keep talking through the awkward tension.

"We need a landscape engineer. Someone who can create designs of the site and make sure it will all work before we get the approval reports ready to submit. There's a lot going on, and it's such a huge job that outsourcing something like that doesn't sit right with either of us." I hate that I'm pushing this when he already said no, but getting this next part done properly and quickly is important to me. There's no one I trust like Penn.

"And what? We both forget the years of hard work ever happened? We let Leaf It to Us close, and then once this thing is up and running, you'll disappear off to your current job, and I'll be part-time with Dryden forever?"

"There are going to be so many jobs at Peach Acres. Maybe you could work there."

His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows thickly and turns to look out at the water. He doesn't look happy, and guilt is taking over because I'm the one who made him look like that.

"I guess … I guess if you're not coming back, then holding on to the business doesn't make sense."

"What do you mean?"

"I was only doing it for you, Madden. So that once you were done planning with Damien, you'd be able to come right back and we'd be working together again. It's my favorite part of the day."

"We can still have that," I push, a flicker of hope sparking in my gut. "It might not be what we planned, but it could still work."