Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

BARRETT

"Baby, I know you were scared. It's okay."

Owen clung to me, and his nails bit into my hand.

"C'mere, and bring your kitty."

I maneuvered Owen onto my lap and encircled him with my arms. He wasn't conventionally small, but compared to me, he was tiny. The size difference allowed me to snuggle him close while he valiantly fought to bring his emotions back under control. His kitten was cuddled under his chin, and I heard the cat's rumbling purr.

I'd waited ten years to be in this position, but I hated that it had only happened after Owen had the shit scared out of him. It was hard to argue with the outcome because he was finally in my arms and had called me Da.

The traumatic response potential slammed back into my consciousness. I'd rather cut off my arm than do something to take advantage of Owen.

"Owen, is this okay?"

My question was met with silence.

"Owen…baby…I need you to answer me. "

Again, nothing. I angled us both so I could look him in the eyes. What I saw reflected back at me was terror and fear, but something more. It almost looked like relief.

Well, hell.

"All right, baby, we can sit here until you feel better. Daddy's not gonna let that big ol' bear get you. Me and the kitty are going to protect you."

I kept Owen tucked in close while I murmured soothing words to him. I rocked him back and forth until I felt his body relax in infinitesimal increments. His free hand inched closer to his mouth, retreated, and then returned again. On the next round, I realized he'd fisted it with this thumb barely sticking up.

"Baby, it's okay. Here, let Daddy help you."

"S'kay?" Owen asked with worry in his voice.

"Of course it's okay. If you like it, it's okay."

I guided his elbow to push his thumb closer to his mouth. Owen's lips closed around his thumb and every nerve ending in my body took notice. Now was not the time to pop wood, but thinking about the Queen was the only thing that helped, though it didn't come close to resolving the problem when he began rhythmically sucking. I swallowed the groan that threatened to spill out of me. When Owen's cheeks hollowed, I truly thought I'd lose my fucking mind.

With more self-control than I knew I possessed, I broke eye contact with him and focused on a surprisingly sweet cross-stitch across the room instead. It was mountain wildflowers in a wreath pattern with the words Find the Magic in the center.

My lips curved into a wry smile. It had been so long since I held a boy in my lap, and having Owen there now felt a little like magic.

Since I stopped dating, I'd been trying to ease my way under his skin little by little. Some days, it felt like he noticed my flirting. But he was oblivious to it even back in college, so probably not.

Between my Fleshlight and porn, I'd gotten through the last few months. How I'd manage to keep my hands to myself the next few minutes with Owen actually touching me was very much a toss-up.

I didn't want to keep them to myself. I wanted to explore every inch of him. His mouth looked sinful, and I wanted to taste him. I wanted to see more of the cock I'd only gotten glimpses of at the gym or hanging near each other.

Was he top or bottom or vers? I preferred topping, but I wouldn't be picky if it meant I would finally know what it was like to be with Owen.

"Da, go home?" Owen's quiet voice broke the silence between us.

"Yeah, baby, we should head back before it gets too late."

I ran my finger over the kitten's head.

"Where do you think his mama went?"

I took a closer look at the little guy and noticed dust clinging to his fur and his bones poking under his skin. I'd bet money his mama was gone, but he hadn't been alone for too long. Owen's frown returned, and he shrugged.

"My baby," Owen said around his thumb. His mutinous expression was too cute for words. "Da, my baby."

"I'm not gonna try and take him from you. He's your baby." I patted Owen's hip. "I need you to get up for me though. We've had enough excitement for one day."

Owen shuddered a little at my words, and I instantly regretted them. The last thing I wanted to do was worry him again. As it was, the bear had frightened him enough to send him into a little headspace.

Owen had never, in the entire time I'd known him to be a little, played with other people in public. He'd come to the club but never joined in the activities, even when he'd been the one to create the magical spaces they all enjoyed.

Jakob, and now Rory, made a point to invite him every time they had a playdate at the club or their house, but he always said no. Years ago, I'd hinted that I'd be interested if he needed or wanted me to be a caregiver, but he'd shut my ass down quickly.

With a few shifted maneuvers, I checked his pockets and didn't find the keys.

"Where are the car keys?" I asked.

"Bear ate 'em, Da."

"He did what, baby?"

It sounded like he said the bear ate them.

"Ate 'em, Da. Bad bear."

Oh, exactly what I thought he said. I didn't think bears ate keys, but I didn't know shit about them, so maybe?

"Baby, stay here with your kitty, and I'll go find the keys," I told him.

Owen watched me with wide eyes and nodded his head.

"Don't let your kitty down if you can help it. I don't want him to run off on you, okay?"

I glanced around the room and spied a copy box by the guest services desk. It was the kind with push-in handles. It wasn't perfect, but it would work in a pinch.

"If he gets too squirmy, put him in the box with the lid," I said as I crossed the room to get it and dumped out the clutter inside.

On my way back, I grabbed a small, throw pillow and put that in the box too. With one last pet to the kitten's head and a similar one to Owen's, I went back outside to look for the keys.

I searched the entire yard, porch, and parking area. Those keys were gone. Maybe Owen was right and the bear had eaten the damn things. My assistant might murder me when she picked up this call.

"What's up, Barrett?"

"Hey, Kim, how's it going?"

A little small talk might help this go down smoother.

"I sense a favor is about to be asked," she responded.

"Funny story, a bear ate my car keys. Any chance you can bring me the spare set? They're in my desk drawer."

The line crackled in the background. Ugh, the last thing I needed was for the reception to go out completely.

"First, is everyone okay? And did you mean tonight?"

Her hesitation didn't bode well.

"We're fine. And yeah, is that an option?"

The line went silent, but it was hard to tell if that was the connection or Kim not wanting to answer.

"If you need me too, I can. My grandson's first game is tonight, but I can have the kids record it for me."

"Oh shit, no. You shouldn't miss that. Can we get the agent on the phone and see if we can stay overnight here? If they say it's okay, could you bring them up tomorrow?"

This really was above and beyond, and Kim was going to get a bonus out of it.

"Sure, let me get them on the other line, but you'll be pretty hungry by tomorrow morning. Hold on a sec."

After she put me on hold, I headed back inside the lodge to see what I could find to hold us over until the next day. It was only a few minutes before Kim was back.

"Barrett, you still there?" Kim's voice sounded tinny as the reception was spotty this far up in the mountains. "I've got Marnie on the line with us."

"Hey, Marnie, this is Barrett Strega."

"Oh my goodness, what a day you guys have had! Kim filled me in a bit. Is everyone okay?"

"Oh, we are fine. The bear was scared away, but somewhere in all of it, the keys got lost, so we were hoping we could just stay here."

A tow truck and a hotel room in town might've been an option, but given how Owen had regressed, I wasn't keen on the idea of him being around people he didn't know.

"Under the circumstances, that's fine. Did you get a chance to explore the property?"

"Well, we started to do that, but, ya know, bear…"

"Ha! That wasn't the beginning of a sales pitch." She laughed. "If you found the caretaker's room upstairs, the emergency provisions are there. He always kept them on hand and said he left them as a precaution. The mountains can be so unpredictable. You'll find clean linens there too."

"Thank you so much for your help and for letting us stay. I don't think either of us is ready to deal with getting back into town today," I murmured.

The relief in my voice was palatable. If nothing else, I'd have a little more time with Owen. It didn't make me happy that he'd had the shit scared out of him, but being able to be the Daddy that he needed?

Cloud fucking nine.

As promised, I found the emergency provisions in the kitchenette in the caretaker's room. In fact, it was a fully stocked pantry with more than enough choices to get through an entire week.

Besides the food, I also found the clean linens she'd mentioned for the bed and hygiene supplies. Too bad the caretaker had retired. If we bought the lodge, I'd have kept him on staff .

I'd checked on Owen before coming upstairs. He was exactly where I'd left him on the couch. His new cat was still curled up on his chest, sleeping. The poor little guy must have been exhausted with his mama gone.

Before I brought Owen upstairs, I quickly ran through the lodge, looking for cat supplies. I found a box top and potting sand for an impromptu litter box. With a little more digging, I also found a basket to hold the throw pillow already in his travel carrier box so he'd have a soft place to sleep tonight.

Once everything was situated, I went back downstairs to find Owen.

"How does a sleepover sound? We can't get the keys until tomorrow, but we have plenty of supplies to get us through the night."

I ran a soothing hand up and down his arm. It didn't make sense to me why Owen was so protective of his little space, but I respected his choice.

"Da, sleep wit you?" Owen asked.

He'd pulled his thumb out of his mouth so he was easier to understand.

"Yep, it'll be fun! I found some supplies for your new baby. He's gonna be snug as a bug in a rug."

Owen opened his mouth like he would argue, but I held up my hand to head him off.

"I found a box lid we can use for a litter box and some sand to put in there. Plus, I put a basket upstairs for him to sleep in. We'll need to put him in the bathroom so he learns to use the litter box."

Owen nodded and didn't try to argue. I slung his jacket over my forearm and helped pull Owen to his feet. He carefully tucked his kitten close to his shoulder and kept his hand in mine. I laced our fingers. It felt like fireworks were exploding in my chest. I'd wanted this for longer than I'd even acknowledged to myself, and now I could finally show him that I could take care of him.

We crossed the reception hall and walked up the stairs, Owen's hand in mine the whole way. Every nerve ending in my body was on high alert. Electricity crackled between us, and Owen let out a few hitched breaths that, I hoped, were directly related to me. He didn't let go until we reached the caretaker's room.

Once inside, Owen immediately plopped down on the carpet near the couch. He gingerly set the kitten down and gently played the finger-waggle game. The cat pounced and retreated, rinse and repeat.

While Owen was occupied with his new, unnamed baby, I busied myself putting together something to eat. I found a can of tuna for the cat, which should be enough to tide him over until we could get him some proper food. For Owen and me, I found some jars of soup and a few tins of fancy crackers. It would be plenty for lunch.

"Hey, baby, are you ready to let your kitty learn to use the box?"

Owen's glare was immediate and sharp.

"Don't give me that look, buddy. He has to learn how to use it so you can take him home, and he needs a snack too. I'm sure he's hungry."

At my words, Own hung his head as if ashamed.

"It's okay. I know you love him already."

It seemed as if Owen's little was really young. Most of the boys I'd played with had older mindsets, and it was fine to be a little stern with them. If I ever had the opportunity to be with him in little space again—and I wanted that as much as a drowning man wanted oxygen—I needed to be aware of my tone and his regressed age. Little ones needed a gentle touch even when they were being stubborn .

"All right, let's get him settled, and then let's get some food in you."

Owen begrudgingly followed me to the bathroom, where I'd already deposited the lid and basket. I took the kitten to show him where everything was. He immediately started patrolling the parameters. When I set down the small plate of fish, he attacked it like he hadn't eaten in a week. Which, unfortunately, might have been true. Owen stood back and watched him with a pleased look as the kitten devoured his dinner.

"Have you thought of a name yet?"

"Nuh-uh, Da."

Owen's lips curved in a fond smile.

"Well, you've got plenty of time to figure it out." I reached out and grasped his hand. "Let's get some lunch for us, okay? Come keep me company in the kitchen while I heat up the soup."

Owen nodded but couldn't help himself from giving one last longing look at his new baby.

"He needs a quiet moment to himself. It's been a big day for him."

Owen finally allowed me to draw him away, and I shut the door behind us.

In the small kitchenette, I directed Owen to sit at the table while I heated our lunch. I'd found some crayons and a simple coloring book during my earlier exploration of the cupboards. I handed both to him. When he struggled to make his fingers work to open the cardboard flap, I took it from his hands and opened it myself.

"Tank you, Da," Owen said with a sugar-sweet smile.

"You're welcome, baby," I answered.

My heart soared to have Owen call me Daddy—well, Da. When he said it in that sweet tone, it just melted my heart.

Owen wasn't great at staying in the lines, which made me wonder if that was a small part of his reluctance to play with others. Littles at the club seemed competitive over producing the prettiest pictures, and maybe his out-of-the-lines scribbles bothered him?

The soup heated quickly, so it only took a few minutes to prepare. Owen put his coloring book and crayons aside when I brought the bowls to the table. On my second trip, I grabbed some bottles of sparkling water.

"I haven't had this brand before. I hope it tastes okay. If it does, and you want more, there's plenty left," I told him. Owen didn't answer, only nodded.

Owen struggled with the bowl of soup, leaving a mess on the table.

"Here, baby, let me help you."

I reached over and took the spoon out of his hand. Owen relinquished it immediately and dropped his hands into his lap.

"I think it's just too much for you today. Let's get you fed, and then we can lie down for a nap. I'm worn out."

I raised the spoonful of soup and Owen obediently opened his mouth and allowed me to feed him lunch. Satisfaction settled deep in my chest as I repeated the movement over and over.

This was the only thing I'd ever wanted. He was the only one I'd ever want. I'd loved Owen for years. He was the most important person in my life, and I'd desired him for a while. But this? Now that he'd allowed me to see this hidden part of him, there was no going back.

I craved Owen. I wanted him. I needed him.

He'd already ruined me for other men, and now this? I was completely done for. The only thing left for me to do was figure out how to keep him.